The Easy Way To Test Your Future Prospective Thai Wife

[IanForbes]

Sounds a bit too business like for me. Each to their own. Prefer sponteneity etc myself.

Nothing wrong with a business deal between two consenting parties. They both get what they want out of the deal. There are many family arranged marriages in places like India that last happily for years. Sponteneity is good, but too often the couples who are first attracted to each other are to unalike to last any length of time. And, there really isn't anything wrong with that either providing you understand the consequences.

The main thing to understand is to REALLY know yourself and what you want out of a relationship.

[hammered]

Sounds a bit too business like for me. Each to their own. Prefer sponteneity etc myself.

Nothing wrong with a business deal between two consenting parties. They both get what they want out of the deal. There are many family arranged marriages in places like India that last happily for years. Sponteneity is good, but too often the couples who are first attracted to each other are to unalike to last any length of time. And, there really isn't anything wrong with that either providing you understand the consequences.

The main thing to understand is to REALLY know yourself and what you want out of a relationship.

As I said each to their own. I know me. Nice long long marriage I have been in

[Mister Fixit]

(P.S. Try using the [Enter] key and helping us out with some paragraphs the next time you post)

dam_n good idea. I gave up after a few lines.

A word of advice when writing - think of your reader. If you can't be bothered with them, why should they be bothered to read your posts?

[billd766]

Do you mean to say I made a mistake and should have tested my wife?

Oh well I suppose it is a bit late now as we have known each other 16 years, been married 10 and have a 5 year old son.

I was her birthday last Sunday and she admitted to being 31, again though her ID card (must be a fake) says she is 44 and I know she wouldn't lie to me about a thing like that.

I am just a poor knackered old fart of 65 but very happy and content with my family.

[skybluestu]

Do you mean to say I made a mistake and should have tested my wife?

Oh well I suppose it is a bit late now as we have known each other 16 years, been married 10 and have a 5 year old son.

I was her birthday last Sunday and she admitted to being 31, again though her ID card (must be a fake) says she is 44 and I know she wouldn't lie to me about a thing like that.

I am just a poor knackered old fart of 65 but very happy and content with my family.

Cool, so she was 15 when you started 'courting'? No wonder you're knackered!

[Maizefarmer]

Thai Visa is full of stories of farang getting "taken to the cleaners" financially by Thai women. These stories are popular, provocative and seem to provide a lot of impetus for the huge popularity of this site, and the concomitant advertising that accompanies a successful web site, hence lining the pockets of investors with cash. That is a good thing. If you fall in love with a single Thai lady, and you are on the other side of the world ( like I was ), you may have to work in your country and travel to LOS when you can. Assuming you will help her financially for (whatever reason) prior to marrying here, here is a way to do it without getting totally fleeced (keeping in mind there is no free lunch). 1.First of all, have a shopping list ( or checklist) for what type of Thai lady you want to meet in the first place. Although I was attracted to BG's, they were NOT on my list for reasons I will not get into here. My short list went something like this: college education, from a decent family, good heart, 10 to 15 years younger ( I was 49 at the time), decent job, attractive, more concerned with love than money,a non drinker and smoker. There are loads of Thai women as we speak that fit this category, but for example, if an attractive bg is all you require, then your list is short and simple. At any rate you may want to make SURE you have an idea BEFOREHAND what you are looking for. 2. Once you have visited her 2 or 3 times, and you feel she loves you and you are almost ready to spring the question, you may want to consider trying number...3. Send her a copy of your bank card and give her the same PIN number you use, so she can access your account. Western Union charges you 15% by the time its all said and done, so 10,000 baht in her hand will cost you about 11,500 Baht. Keep only what you can afford to lose in your account, and tell her to take what she needs. You will quickly find out if she is on the take or not. In my case, she took about 10,000 baht per month. You can see what she takes from your bank statements, and it costs in this case 100 baht per withdrawal, 1% instead of 15.This will NOT work for everybody, but it worked for me. To make a long story short, she ended up giving most of it back to me, as she did not need the money but was testing me. Flame away if you wish, but it worked for me. She is NOT a money grabber, I can assure you of that. In Canada now, she shops at discount stores for clothes, etc etc, and has prooven beyond a shadow of a doubt that my gamble paid off. Signed: did NOT get ripped off

Unbelieveable ........ is this something we should do with all girls, or is it exclusively with respect to Thai girls? Between you and Thai Happy Life my wife hasn't laughed so much about ex-pats - both yours and his (ThaiHappyLife's) "tests" are going to be posted up on KK and Chula Uni student websites over the next day or so.......

Tomorrow she is lecturing to a bunch of students in Korat - both posts are going to be read out in lecture - I shall be reporting back what they have to say.

[Saiyan]

Unbelieveable ........ is this something we should do with all girls, or is it exclusively with respect to Thai girls? Between you and Thai Happy Life my wife hasn't laughed so much about ex-pats - both yours and his (ThaiHappyLife's) "tests" are going to be posted up on KK and Chula Uni student websites over the next day or so.......

Tomorrow she is lecturing to a bunch of students in Korat - both posts are going to be read out in lecture - I shall be reporting back what they have to say.

What a great reaction from you and Ing.

Well done. Absolutely STELLA.

I can only imagine the dialog that follows. Can"t stop smiling.

[Maizefarmer]

Unbelieveable ........ is this something we should do with all girls, or is it exclusively with respect to Thai girls? Between you and Thai Happy Life my wife hasn't laughed so much about ex-pats - both yours and his (ThaiHappyLife's) "tests" are going to be posted up on KK and Chula Uni student websites over the next day or so.......

Tomorrow she is lecturing to a bunch of students in Korat - both posts are going to be read out in lecture - I shall be reporting back what they have to say.

What a great reaction from you and Ing.

Well done. Absolutely STELLA.

I can only imagine the dialog that follows. Can"t stop smiling.

Heres my point - if you were a Brit in the UK, a German in Germany, and Frenchman in France, and American in the USA, a Swede in Sweden ... etc etc .... would you write what the OP wrote in respect of how to "test" a potential partner in one of those countries .....?

No, you wouldn't

But understand this - this is not about one OP's posting - to blame this all on the OP is to miss the point, he is actually accurately reflecting attitudes and preconceptions that are very prevalent in Western thinking about Thai's. My interest in all this is not to rubbish the posting, but to try and understand where/how these attitudes come about.

I also don't believe such attitudes can be explained away or reduced down to only the experiences that a lot of ex-pats post up on the forum of relationships they have had with Thai girls. It's a part of it for sure - but I do not believe its the sum total. These attitudes go deeper, and challlenging them is to challenge a lot about ourselves and our attitudes towards other groups of people.

I have a pretty good idea what the reaction is going to be - they're youngsters from a cross section of Thai society, some from simple rural backgrounds, some from middle class upbringings in big urban centres, a couple from well to do families, and few of them with anything like the worldly experience or "streetwiseness" that most folk on this forum have. What they nearly all have in common with each other is limited to no experience of dealing with Westerners (on any level - other than other ex-pat Asian students on campus - of which there is a lot in Pak Chong - mostly Koreans and Taiwanese).

An oppurtunity for the other side to reply in kind ...........(?)

They are going to roar with laughter, but there should be some interesting comments as well.

[whichschool]

No offence intended, so im obviously now going to have to offend but this advice list only looks like it would only be useful for desperate people who have to got to third world countries to find a wife.

[cognos]

4) realize that looking for love like groceries is the most pathetic thing an human being can do

loves finds you, people who look for love just end up taking whoever finally can stand them for more than 15mins

"the most pathetic thing an human being can do" is not what you say, hands down. You are wrong. Murder, suicide, genocide, putting crap in canned food for the masses to consume..and I won't consume yours either. Have you had your 15 minutes yet?

[cognos]

No offence intended, so im obviously now going to have to offend but this advice list only looks like it would only be useful for desperate people who have to got to third world countries to find a wife.

Wrongo. Which school did you learn this in whichschool? I am from Vancouver, and dated many Asian ladies ( I prefer Asian women and Asian culture to farang culture) younger than the Thai lady I eventually married. I won't waste my time trying to convince the unconvincable.You may be correct in some instances, but not in mine sir, you are WAY off base, out( baseball terminology).

[Saiyan]

Heres my point - if you were a Brit in the UK, a German in Germany, and Frenchman in France, and American in the USA, a Swede in Sweden ... etc etc .... would you write what the OP wrote in respect of how to "test" a potential partner in one of those countries .....?

No, you wouldn't

But understand this - this is not about one OP's posting - to blame this all on the OP is to miss the point, he is actually accurately reflecting attitudes and preconceptions that are very prevalent in Western thinking about Thai's. My interest in all this is not to rubbish the posting, but to try and understand where/how these attitudes come about.

I also don't believe such attitudes can be explained away or reduced down to only the experiences that a lot of ex-pats post up on the forum of relationships they have had with Thai girls. It's a part of it for sure - but I do not believe its the sum total. These attitudes go deeper, and challlenging them is to challenge a lot about ourselves and our attitudes towards other groups of people.

I have a pretty good idea what the reaction is going to be - they're youngsters from a cross section of Thai society, some from simple rural backgrounds, some from middle class upbringings in big urban centres, a couple from well to do families, and few of them with anything like the worldly experience or "streetwiseness" that most folk on this forum have. What they nearly all have in common with each other is limited to no experience of dealing with Westerners (on any level - other than other ex-pat Asian students on campus - of which there is a lot in Pak Chong - mostly Koreans and Taiwanese).

An oppurtunity for the other side to reply in kind ...........(?)

They are going to roar with laughter, but there should be some interesting comments as well.

Agree and understood the above.

And here in lies the real reason. But from this point onwards it becomes complex.

Still smiling though.

[CitizenSmith]

Contrary to popular belief many of these girls are smart, double smart and I say that with admiration. The not so smart girls will spend whatever is given to them in a few days then cry for more to their overseas sponsor.

Then, on the other hand, you got the pros. They will spend whats given to them slowly and careful as to not look like they are on the take. When in-fact, they have 3 or 4 sponsors sending money left right and center, the usual crowd standing outside Western Union in a line, hel_l it pays more then cuing up at the DHSS :-)

To have a proper relationship with no tests, no worrying whats going on over here all the time, you have to live here full stop.

[cognos]

I posted this thread because there are WAY too many negative stories of Thai women on the take..it's sensationalism, and that sells. There are perhaps objective and valid reasons why so many farang get "burned" by their Thai ladies, but I'm not interested in getting flamed in the process of speculating why that is..most know, but its not nice to tell

[Heng]

I don't think it rears its head because it's sensational, IMO I think it's because the septic tank is overflowing. Sometimes it gets to a point where even normally 'indifferent to the plight of others' locals (like myself) start to get tired (read: disgusted) of hearing foreigners getting bent over and done in. Some "women" openly say things like 'I wash the bathroom every single day and he still hasn't had a spill yet!' 'He's not too sharp, I'm sure he'll put it in my name' 'Of course he thinks the kid is his'... etc. Then her friends murmur something along the lines of 'hang in there!' like they are discussing the state of the economy.

Edited October 27, 2009 by Heng

[Maizefarmer]

I posted this thread because there are WAY too many negative stories of Thai women on the take..it's sensationalism, and that sells. There are perhaps objective and valid reasons why so many farang get "burned" by their Thai ladies, but I'm not interested in getting flamed in the process of speculating why that is..most know, but its not nice to tell

Cognos

One can get "burned" by a partner from any cultural background - there is nothing exclusively "Thai" about it - such types of individuals and "demographic groups" exists in all cultures and national groups - that really is what lies behind your statement (and in that respect I agree with what you are saying), but the way it comes across from you suggests such incidents are more likely to happen in interaction with partners on a national group basis (?).

I don't believe that to be the case - such individuals and "demographic groups" exists in all cultures.

Can you see the difference I am pointing out (?) - it is not because the girls are Thai.

As I said in another posting, there are broader issues here:

We need to look at ourselves, and the differences we "act out" in relating to other groups of people, versus how we "act out" when interacting with groups from our own national and culturale backgrounds. Understanding this goes a long way to understanding the experiences we have and the attitudes we develope as a consequence towards and about other ethnic/social/national and culturale groups.

I suggest you read 2 or 3 books by a South African Professor - Jonathan D Jansen:

Diversity High: Colour, Character and Culture in a South African High School

Knowledge in the Blood: Confronting race and the apartheid past

Although written against a background of post apartheid South Africa, he explains very well how groups of people from different backgrounds establish perceptions about other groups of people - and how, instead of looking atthe differences in them (i.e. the other groups) we need to look at ourselves and the differences in how we deal with other groups versus those from our own backgrounds and cultures. Jansen is no-ones fool - the guy is recognised as one of the worlds foremost authorities on the subject.

Edited October 27, 2009 by Maizefarmer

[KunMatt]

I posted this thread because there are WAY too many negative stories of Thai women on the take..it's sensationalism, and that sells. There are perhaps objective and valid reasons why so many farang get "burned" by their Thai ladies, but I'm not interested in getting flamed in the process of speculating why that is..most know, but its not nice to tell

There are way too many negative stories of farangs getting burned by Thai girls because Thailand attracts the sort of people that come here with a "shopping list" of check points looking for a wife. The same people who then cannot believe that a beautiful 20 year old girl they met in a GoGo bar 4 months ago in a country, language and culture that they have neither understand nor have any intention of learning, is only interested in them for money.

You're just feeding the fire and you're way off base as usual; for every desperate farang that got ripped off after marrying the first BG that showed him any attention there will be 100 decent expats that have found true love and who don't feel the need to shout about it, but as with any negative reinforcement if you don't hear all of the good stories you will of course believe all of the jilted fools who have to vent.

I sometimes wonder what it is about Thailand that attracts the lowest calibre of expats and what impression they are setting for the rest of us. I've lived and worked all over Asia for the last decade and I have never seen the sorts of Westerners anywhere else who act in the most dispicable, derisive and disrespectful manner to Thais in their own country for their everyday activities.

[cognos]

'2. Once you have visited her 2 or 3 times, and you feel she loves you' ???!!!

let me elaborate for U..the first time i was with her for 3 months..and after a few weeks stayed with her in the same house albeit in different bedrooms..the second time was only a month, and the third time was 2 months..then i asked her the question..so prior to the question we were"together" every day for about half a year..about 182 days..some date 2 or 3 times a week for a few months prior to getting married..in my case it was long enough to know her well

[bonobo]

Heres my point - if you were a Brit in the UK, a German in Germany, and Frenchman in France, and American in the USA, a Swede in Sweden ... etc etc .... would you write what the OP wrote in respect of how to "test" a potential partner in one of those countries .....?

No, you wouldn't

I do not agree with the OP's post; however, in all fairness, I have read pretty much the exact same "advice" to men in other countries to include the USA (American men seeking to marry an American woman.)

[cognos]

Uk Matt.. i understand where you are coming from.If i was an expat living in LOS I don't think i would have had a preconceived notion of what type of lady i wanted to be with, as you can be there all the time and try your luck with a bg, for example.However I still have to work a few years, so go back and forth to LOS( 7 times the last 3 years, and less often prior to that) The first 3 times i played around with BG's and generally like them as people, but found THEY ARE NOT FOR ME, so i decided if i was to marry a thai lady I preferred to find one that was college educated( some bg's are granted)..and the rest of the things i mentioned. i did not write down a list, just had some things on my mind for preferences. Because i was half way around the world at times, I did not want to take a chance of getting "taken to the cleaners", as seems to happen fairly frequently. In order to minimize the risk of "being taken", I thought the a fore- mentioned attributes, or "list" for lack of better words, may auger well in terms of finding a nice lady, period

[cognos]

Heres my point - if you were a Brit in the UK, a German in Germany, and Frenchman in France, and American in the USA, a Swede in Sweden ... etc etc .... would you write what the OP wrote in respect of how to "test" a potential partner in one of those countries .....?

No, you wouldn't

I do not agree with the OP's post; however, in all fairness, I have read pretty much the exact same "advice" to men in other countries to include the USA (American men seeking to marry an American woman.)

of course you would not, why?? simple..because there are not blogs like this one where so many farang men complain of being taken,ripped off, etc. by a Thai lady. I believe the VAST majority of thai women are good women, but farang seem TOO OFTEN to end up with ones that victimize them more frequently than should happen i would allege.i have ideas why this happens so much in LOS, but that is not the point. the point is to simply tell a true story in order to possibly help one person before they do what i did in the past before i decided to have a mental "list"..go for the first attractive one and concomitantly OFTEN pay the consequences..hence another "victim" to tell another story of being "victimized" It SEEMS to happen more in LOS than in the countries you described, but perhaps its just they get REPORTED more on thai visa

[SoftWater]

It has allot to do with age, if they will go with an old man then they are going for the money. I have a Thailovelinks account going just for fun. I am 25 and I will not continue to talk with a girl that would accept a partner that is older then 30 if she is my age or younger.

A classic expression of cultural ignorance.

Don't you know that Thai men are called 'butterflies' and the younger they are, the less likely they are to be faithful? Don't you know that older men (farang or Thai) are seen (rightly or wrongly, that's not the point) as easier to keep on a short leash, are less likely to be stupid enough to get a girlfriend-on-the-side pregnant, and are generally considered more loving, stable and family-orientated? Not yet wholly duped by the Hollywood lie of 'high school sweetheart for life', these values are important to many Thai women.

I know some very well-educated Thai girls from wealthy families your age and younger that would not even CONSIDER a man under 30 as prospective husband material, knowing that boys like you will continue sowing their wild oats round as many other young girls like them as they can as soon as the 'passion' has worn off.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not (that) old and my wife's not that young. But you're coming at this from a wholly non-Thai perspective. Chill and listen to the local melody. You might learn something.

Edited October 27, 2009 by SoftWater

[cognos]

maize farmer..of course many will laugh their heads off, perhaps because most of them(98%??) will be good young thai ladies from good backgrounds that would not rip off a farang, so they will not understand why someone needs a "list"...is it because a disproportionate amount of farangs get ripped off and then report it on thai visa? i don't know the answer, and it begs the question, but that is for another thread i will not bother to write..i don't mind getting flamed, but to speculate on why so many farang end up with thai women who victimize them would be a flame fest..and the thread would be a 10, 9, 8, 7,..closed

[bonobo]

Heres my point - if you were a Brit in the UK, a German in Germany, and Frenchman in France, and American in the USA, a Swede in Sweden ... etc etc .... would you write what the OP wrote in respect of how to "test" a potential partner in one of those countries .....?

No, you wouldn't

I do not agree with the OP's post; however, in all fairness, I have read pretty much the exact same "advice" to men in other countries to include the USA (American men seeking to marry an American woman.)

of course you would not, why?? simple..because there are not blogs like this one where so many farang men complain of being taken,ripped off, etc. by a Thai lady. I believe the VAST majority of thai women are good women, but farang seem TOO OFTEN to end up with ones that victimize them more frequently than should happen i would allege.i have ideas why this happens so much in LOS, but that is not the point. the point is to simply tell a true story in order to possibly help one person before they do what i did in the past before i decided to have a mental "list"..go for the first attractive one and concomitantly OFTEN pay the consequences..hence another "victim" to tell another story of being "victimized" It SEEMS to happen more in LOS than in the countries you described, but perhaps its just they get REPORTED more on thai visa

Sorry, but I don't understand your reasoning.  I wrote that I don't agree with your OP as I don't think we need to go to extreme measures for testing.  Call me naive or trusting, but I believe that love does not need to be tested in that way.  However, as I posted, I have seen your advice given in other venues with regards towards women in other countries, to include the USA, so there are obviously other people who agree with your caution.

And not to pick on the women, I have also read about various tests to give men, especially men met on the internet, the so-called serial daters.  Most of these seem to be to test if a man is actually single or if he has the assets he claims.  

[sokal]

It has allot to do with age, if they will go with an old man then they are going for the money. I have a Thailovelinks account going just for fun. I am 25 and I will not continue to talk with a girl that would accept a partner that is older then 30 if she is my age or younger.

A classic expression of cultural ignorance.

Don't you know that Thai men are called 'butterflies' and the younger they are, the less likely they are to be faithful? Don't you know that older men (farang or Thai) are seen (rightly or wrongly, that's not the point) as easier to keep on a short leash, are less likely to be stupid enough to get a girlfriend-on-the-side pregnant, and are generally considered more loving, stable and family-orientated? Not yet wholly duped by the Hollywood lie of 'high school sweetheart for life', these values are important to many Thai women.

I know some very well-educated Thai girls from wealthy families your age and younger that would not even CONSIDER a man under 30 as prospective husband material, knowing that boys like you will continue sowing their wild oats round as many other young girls like them as they can as soon as the 'passion' has worn off.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not (that) old and my wife's not that young. But you're coming at this from a wholly non-Thai perspective. Chill and listen to the local melody. You might learn something.

Yeah right. I have met countless amounts of lieing cheating moron old guys. They are usually worse then young guys because they have been burned so many times in their old age. I think Thai girls eventually figure that out.

You probably have no idea what it is like being a lean strong young farang guy in Thailand. The girls die for us and I am not talking about Pattaya. Like I said, I had 82 replies on my Thailovelinks account in one day and I am 25, It almost crashed my email.

[sokal]

4) realize that looking for love like groceries is the most pathetic thing an human being can do

loves finds you, people who look for love just end up taking whoever finally can stand them for more than 15mins

I like looking through the adds so I can narrow it down, I like how I can decide how tall I want my girl. 5 foot 4 preferably......

I don't believe in love, I just want a companion to live with.

[bonobo]

It has allot to do with age, if they will go with an old man then they are going for the money. I have a Thailovelinks account going just for fun. I am 25 and I will not continue to talk with a girl that would accept a partner that is older then 30 if she is my age or younger.

A classic expression of cultural ignorance.

Don't you know that Thai men are called 'butterflies' and the younger they are, the less likely they are to be faithful? Don't you know that older men (farang or Thai) are seen (rightly or wrongly, that's not the point) as easier to keep on a short leash, are less likely to be stupid enough to get a girlfriend-on-the-side pregnant, and are generally considered more loving, stable and family-orientated? Not yet wholly duped by the Hollywood lie of 'high school sweetheart for life', these values are important to many Thai women.

I know some very well-educated Thai girls from wealthy families your age and younger that would not even CONSIDER a man under 30 as prospective husband material, knowing that boys like you will continue sowing their wild oats round as many other young girls like them as they can as soon as the 'passion' has worn off.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not (that) old and my wife's not that young. But you're coming at this from a wholly non-Thai perspective. Chill and listen to the local melody. You might learn something.

Yeah right. I have met countless amounts of lieing cheating moron old guys. They are usually worse then young guys because they have been burned so many times in their old age. I think Thai girls eventually figure that out.

You probably have no idea what it is like being a lean strong young farang guy in Thailand. The girls die for us and I am not talking about Pattaya. Like I said, I had 82 replies on my Thailovelinks account in one day and I am 25, It almost crashed my email.

Some men lie and cheat, and that has nothing to do with their age.  They do it when they are young and when they are old.  And that has really nothing to do with how many messages you get on TLL.

[cognos]

bonobo, i can understand why you didn't understand my reasoning, as i was replying to maize farmer. Right or wrong, I believe most men and women test each other (feel each other out is another way to put it) out prior to making a committment like marriage, regardless of where the location is. i am speaking specifically about thai women because if i speak about other nationalities, it will be off topic and irrelevant to this site.

[HappyThaiLife]

Thai Visa is full of stories of farang getting "taken to the cleaners" financially by Thai women. These stories are popular, provocative and seem to provide a lot of impetus for the huge popularity of this site, and the concomitant advertising that accompanies a successful web site, hence lining the pockets of investors with cash. That is a good thing. If you fall in love with a single Thai lady, and you are on the other side of the world ( like I was ), you may have to work in your country and travel to LOS when you can. Assuming you will help her financially for (whatever reason) prior to marrying here, here is a way to do it without getting totally fleeced (keeping in mind there is no free lunch). 1.First of all, have a shopping list ( or checklist) for what type of Thai lady you want to meet in the first place. Although I was attracted to BG's, they were NOT on my list for reasons I will not get into here. My short list went something like this: college education, from a decent family, good heart, 10 to 15 years younger ( I was 49 at the time), decent job, attractive, more concerned with love than money,a non drinker and smoker. There are loads of Thai women as we speak that fit this category, but for example, if an attractive bg is all you require, then your list is short and simple. At any rate you may want to make SURE you have an idea BEFOREHAND what you are looking for. 2. Once you have visited her 2 or 3 times, and you feel she loves you and you are almost ready to spring the question, you may want to consider trying number...3. Send her a copy of your bank card and give her the same PIN number you use, so she can access your account. Western Union charges you 15% by the time its all said and done, so 10,000 baht in her hand will cost you about 11,500 Baht. Keep only what you can afford to lose in your account, and tell her to take what she needs. You will quickly find out if she is on the take or not. In my case, she took about 10,000 baht per month. You can see what she takes from your bank statements, and it costs in this case 100 baht per withdrawal, 1% instead of 15.This will NOT work for everybody, but it worked for me. To make a long story short, she ended up giving most of it back to me, as she did not need the money but was testing me. Flame away if you wish, but it worked for me. She is NOT a money grabber, I can assure you of that. In Canada now, she shops at discount stores for clothes, etc etc, and has prooven beyond a shadow of a doubt that my gamble paid off. Signed: did NOT get ripped off

Unbelieveable ........ is this something we should do with all girls, or is it exclusively with respect to Thai girls? Between you and Thai Happy Life my wife hasn't laughed so much about ex-pats - both yours and his (ThaiHappyLife's) "tests" are going to be posted up on KK and Chula Uni student websites over the next day or so.......

Tomorrow she is lecturing to a bunch of students in Korat - both posts are going to be read out in lecture - I shall be reporting back what they have to say.

Maize - Cheers for that. Please let me know the outcome! As mentioned, my post was a "ploy" to get a forum reaction; it was not intended to be something real...

[HappyThaiLife]

Thai Visa is full of stories of farang getting "taken to the cleaners" financially by Thai women. These stories are popular, provocative and seem to provide a lot of impetus for the huge popularity of this site, and the concomitant advertising that accompanies a successful web site, hence lining the pockets of investors with cash. That is a good thing. If you fall in love with a single Thai lady, and you are on the other side of the world ( like I was ), you may have to work in your country and travel to LOS when you can. Assuming you will help her financially for (whatever reason) prior to marrying here, here is a way to do it without getting totally fleeced (keeping in mind there is no free lunch).

1.First of all, have a shopping list ( or checklist) for what type of Thai lady you want to meet in the first place. Although I was attracted to BG's, they were NOT on my list for reasons I will not get into here. My short list went something like this: college education, from a decent family, good heart, 10 to 15 years younger ( I was 49 at the time), decent job, attractive, more concerned with love than money,a non drinker and smoker. There are loads of Thai women as we speak that fit this category, but for example, if an attractive bg is all you require, then your list is short and simple. At any rate you may want to make SURE you have an idea BEFOREHAND what you are looking for.

2. Once you have visited her 2 or 3 times, and you feel she loves you and you are almost ready to spring the question, you may want to consider trying number...

3. Send her a copy of your bank card and give her the same PIN number you use, so she can access your account. Western Union charges you 15% by the time its all said and done, so 10,000 baht in her hand will cost you about 11,500 Baht. Keep only what you can afford to lose in your account, and tell her to take what she needs. You will quickly find out if she is on the take or not. In my case, she took about 10,000 baht per month. You can see what she takes from your bank statements, and it costs in this case 100 baht per withdrawal, 1% instead of 15.This will NOT work for everybody, but it worked for me. To make a long story short, she ended up giving most of it back to me, as she did not need the money but was testing me. Flame away if you wish, but it worked for me. She is NOT a money grabber, I can assure you of that. In Canada now, she shops at discount stores for clothes, etc etc, and has prooven beyond a shadow of a doubt that my gamble paid off. Signed: did NOT get ripped off

Cognos - I can only assume that you read my previous post that was simply a ploy to instigate reaction....and some constructive thought from others. wow, you took it literally, hook, line and sinker mate. Did you actually read the entire post? Here are a few of my comments on your points 1,2,3 above, if I may:

1. Shopping list? You must be joking mate. Sure we all have particular personal preferences but don't denigrate (defame, belittle) yourself and her by terming this a "shopping" list.

2. Ah, sorry again mate, 2 or 3 times and then you are in love ? Possibly in lust yeah, but not lasting love after 2-3 times mate, sorry, that is just rubbish.

3. wow, I believe you really screwed up mate: you equated your love to a bank card and compared the lower cost of transactions. And she did as well. So is she real or just who is playing who here?

May I ask you a question or 3 please?

a. how much younger is she?

b. does she have a canadian passport yet? When she gets one, will she eventually compare her love to you as a transaction and take off with a better performing investment?

c. Will she realise the laws in Canada are very fair in common-law or legal marriage unions, especially with "living style improvements" involved, and use them to her advantage when she does get that passport?

Sorry mate but I just had to ask these questions because I believe you have lined yourself up for a fall; you both equated your relationship to interest charges and bank card usage which should have opened up your eyes especially if she was "testing" you financially.

I wish you had fully read and responded to the "ploy" post entitled "Thai Wife - Is Your Girlfriend The One?"