....now I'll go play with the children......you can sit here and belittle my efforts.......

On the contrary. Your efforts are rewarded by your relationships with your family and loved ones. You don't need me or anyone else to heap praise on you for caring for a child - of your blood or not. If you are a good father that's fantastic. Many men aren't, and the world needs good fathers. I don't understand why you think I am or would belittle your efforts.

Not my efforts - those that tread a very hard path - I seek no praise and I'm sure they do not either.......I am indeed rewarded for my efforts by my family and the enjoyment they provide...and I live in the hope that I am well enough equipped to do so for a very long time.........I just found your comment in your post #27 was totally unecessary and an attempt belittle those that do make the effort to be good fathers..........anyway I hope it made you feel better to inform everybody that you 'do not think it takes a special person'.........I just cannot comprehend what you got out of that comment.........

There was a slight slur in the comment, but it was directed toward men who wouldn't consider parenting another man's child with a woman they love even though they themselves want children. Apologies. Looking back I can see how the way it was phrased could easily lead to alternate interpretations.

....

Thai men just wouldn't do it.

Many western men do it because (a) they have a different attitude towards it ( Single Thai women with children are plentiful because Thai men won't touch them (these women are seen as shop soiled, not only by Thai men, but by the Thai community as a whole). The vast majority of Thais see these women only good for alien demand.

Consequently, there is an enormous number of single Thai mothers looking for a westener to provide a good life for her and her child/children. Whereas there are far fewer single Thai childless women available to westeners on the market.

Does this sort of shit come naturally to you or do have to think about it?

Married a bar girl did you??? 5555

Don't worry mate, the bars will be open soon & you can continue to expand your knowledge of all things Thai.

It is not uncommon for a person to run a 26 mile marathon - that does not make the feat any less laudible.

I not surprised by your comment after reading your potted history.......although you have done well to assist your family relatives......you clearly do not quite understand that helping out a relative is a totally different experience to developing the unconditional love,respect, and trust of a child of which you are not the biological father.......and if you do understand this and you feel the task is just as simple as marrying the woman anyway.....then you are a far far better man than I - because on a daily basis I am aware I cannot afford to give out any signal that would betray the trust which has been placed in me simply by being called Papa.........now I'll go play with the children......you can sit here and belittle my efforts.......

My dad left me and my mom when I was 2. When I was 6, my mom remarried with an idiotic abusive stepfather. Marrying someone who has kids doesn't make you a Saint. Especially when the contribution of so many Western fathers in Thailand is to tell their wife that rising their kids the Thai way is wrong.

It is not uncommon for a person to run a 26 mile marathon - that does not make the feat any less laudible.

I not surprised by your comment after reading your potted history.......although you have done well to assist your family relatives......you clearly do not quite understand that helping out a relative is a totally different experience to developing the unconditional love,respect, and trust of a child of which you are not the biological father.......and if you do understand this and you feel the task is just as simple as marrying the woman anyway.....then you are a far far better man than I - because on a daily basis I am aware I cannot afford to give out any signal that would betray the trust which has been placed in me simply by being called Papa.........now I'll go play with the children......you can sit here and belittle my efforts.......

My dad left me and my mom when I was 2. When I was 6, my mom remarried with an idiotic abusive stepfather. Marrying someone who has kids doesn't make you a Saint. Especially when the contribution of so many Western fathers in Thailand is to tell their wife that rising their kids the Thai way is wrong.

I'm not idiotic..that I know of....I'm not abusive, I never thought I was a saint, I do not tell my wife, ever, that she is raising the kids wrong..she does a wonderful job

Well I guess I don't fit with any of your concepts of a stepfather in Thailand.........

Maybe that just makes me....well........a....father

Thank you for putting my mind at rest.

I wonder how many Farang are raising kids that are not their own but don't yet know it?

I know!! I still dont have the heart to tell this guy i know that the kid hes raising with hes gf is mine

The sunglasses mean that you think this makes you cool?

Wow, pathetic. Then again, the child is probably better off without you in their life.

how could you take a little Icon cartoon so seriously? I Thin Huey got the Humor of the joke. You went the totally opposite way on that one.

Im not Pathetic? I maybe nut, moronic, pathetic, but im not stupid

U Tool.

enough of the flaming each other or the topic will be closed

when I married my wife she had a daughter that she had adopted from another family member that couldn't cope with being a single parent...as I knew before we were married that I would have to be on close terms with all of her family this was not a problem...

since we've had our house we have had as many as 5, now 3, nieces living with us primarily to enjoy the the proximity of a good district school and also for other reasons, general convenience, etc as we have lots of room. The two youngest nieces have lived with us most of their lives and don't consider any other place as home...

as I have to live away for work I can't contribute much to the child raising process; I try to encourage those that show willingness and academic promise to continue in school but mostly my efforts have resulted in nought...the oldest niece(15 y.o.) with us at the moment I expect to announce any day that she is pregnant and about to move out with her boyfriend, this despite my efforts to keep her in school...the stepdaughter and a previous older niece both dropped out at 15.

it ain't much but I do have the satisfaction of knowing that all the children in our care have everything that they need and a bit more...just wish I could be around more to make a positive input...my wife has a big job on her hands and I admire her for it...

maybe need a new poll category...'well intentioned but ineffective'?