3 Children , 20 Years In Thailand And 16 Years Together

[sharecropper]

I really don't understand why someone would share all this on an Internet forum full of strangers.

Whatever happened to the support of flesh and blood friends? Are you really the lacking in genuine support that you need to itemise your personal life on thaivisa.com? Shouldn't some things remain private?

Whilst it has yet to happen to me, sometimes I guess it is a lot easier to write about intensely personal matters in an anonymous forum than it would be to sit in a pub with a load of mates and talk about it. And there is a body of experience on here that is well worth canvassing for a serious problem.

[ozzieovaseas]

Am i right in assuming the OP still cant be 100% sure that the GF is doing the nasty?

As others have said until you get these letters or "evidence" as it were, looked at/translated/ and the conclusion backed up by someone reliable and honest, you still cant rule out the possibility of this being a huge misunderstanding??

I know myself that being away from a loved one for periods of time can play havoc on thought processes and sometimes the slightest thing can turn into an avalanch if you cannot rely on the occasional reality checkup from being with the partner.

Anyway as ive just read the entire thread, my thoughts have often gone from one extreme to the other with the various information as it appeared.

I thought i might as well throw my two bob in with some alternate thoughts..though they will probably sound a bit crazy....

In the case of innocence (as far as her having an affair):

1. To me the idea of an Italian guy being fluent enough to understand/write thai and communicate in that way seems odd. Still dont know what to think about this and how it even fits in.

2. Maybe the letters you found were left from a friend who visited the GF? Maybe the GF was translating all the internet stuff on behalf of a friend and also set up the responses,letters,phone calls,whatever, on behalf of someone else who couldnt otherwise communicate with the Italian guy? that would explain why some stuff was written in Thai if it was the work of two females?

3. Maybe the GF is planning a some weird strategy or test she thinks will make things work out for the better?

I know this is unlikely but then again my ex TG used to hatch up the CRAZIEST of schemes and plans to test me out or proove a point to test how much i loved her or was comitted...

Maybe some plan to motivate you into marriage to win her back?

Again unlikely but if my ex was in this situation it wouldnt suprise me at all if she'd have the idea of concocting the notes and purposely leave them for me to find, in a hope that id be worried, thereby making me give up work to come and be with her so she could keep an eye on me..if thats what she wanted. Its crazy i know but she would often concoct the most BS of scenarios which had the potential to make things turn out twice as bad than the issue she was trying to fix!!..

You just cant rationalize their logic at times

Although im thinking there cant be to many around like my ex

Geez i miss her

NOW if shes up to no good...

1. I also use the scenario that she planted the note, reason being because if this girl is so clever and conniving then i very much doubt she'd make the simple mistake of leaving the notes around. A female (especially thai) would not make such a simple mistake if she was planning something so meticulously.

2. Having said that, if she is up to no good and she DID want you to find the notes then she will be hoping that you will react in such a way that will help her facilitate her devious plan.

This could involve any number of scenarios and would require a lot of thought from you as to how to go about things next but IMO you are in the best position in any case since you havent acted yet

As far as the phone call the OP recently mentioned:

1. If you think its highly unlikely she would ring for no real reason at this time AND she had something going with the italian then maybe its all fallen through and shes on the rebound, therefor flocking back to you, as you say..insecurity,guilt and to need to reassure herself with you...dont know how you would handle that one

BUT it does seem strange that she would speak in such a sweet way if it was all false. My reasoning here is that if her motives are devious there would be no apparent reason for her to feel threatened enough to make her think she had to make a sweetener call, seeing how the OPs been away all that time, and as far as shes concerned there's no reason to think shes been found out or has to cover any tracks.

The one thing i have learnt from the TG way of thinking is they never, NEVER do anything like that unless theres a specific reason behind it...

so maybe she did just miss you

Sorry Op i dont think ive helped you very much

As a matter of fact i think ive confused myself now

[LuckyLew]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.

[ozzieovaseas]

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.

Ouch!! thats a bit rough isnt it??

Poor buggers been workin his 'nads off to provide her (and her kids) with a life of luxury and shes out (possibly) doin the nasty

As for the money statement, where have you been hiding? thats the ONLY thing to some of these girls think about

Sadly, if he wasnt out earnin the big bucks she probably would have done a runner a long time ago

[needforspeed]

I really don't understand why someone would share all this on an Internet forum full of strangers.

Whatever happened to the support of flesh and blood friends? Are you really so lacking in genuine support that you need to itemise your personal life on thaivisa.com? Shouldn't some things remain private?

My earlier reference to a poster named tippaporn was not meant to infer that this was a troll, but rather to point out a similar example on tv of a very personal series of events dragged through the thaivisa mud.

When I log on here the last thing I am seeking is a group hug or a therapy session.

First off all, you read this thread isn't, its like people complaining about porn and having the computer full of it, hypocrite.

Second, all my friend and there partners know my GF very well so for me very risky to discuss this issue with them in this stage.

Also i get advice from many people who have been in same situation on Thaivisa with all there different experiences and reaction from partners on there actions, i never get that in the local bar or from my friends, so more and quick advice, and i am happy with it.

What is next? Reality tv, interviews, a documentary, a video blog?

You not realy up to date exist for about 10 years already.

thaivisa mud.

When I log on here the last thing I am seeking is a group hug or a therapy session.

Please don't read or make any comment on this thread as this is a waste of time for you and for me, thanks for that.

[needforspeed]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

I expected that she going to find another man and F@#@K the shit out off him.

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

I apply with Shell to take my children with me to the platform still waiting for there answer.

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.How you know

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.I dont ask you, so keep your stupid comments for yourself, Thanks

[yabaaaa]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.

Oh yeah see how long the "love and attention" last without money!!

[keencenturion]

What's the betting the farang guy does not know she has you,and three children,that's usual for how these people operate.

I really understand how you feel chum,been there done that,as a few more chaps I met along the way.

As previous messages tell you,move on,once betrayed always betrayed,believe me, I moved on,no hesitation, ,have found a good woman,but that doesn't mean it's "until the end of time",keep your options open,as the people of this country do.

Take care and all the best with whatever route you take.

KC

[Colabamumbai]

I just want to write how i feel, just had 2 pins off beer so i am not drunk yet.

Good moment out of my live going true my mind, feel empty and very sad.

We had many ups and down in our live but always end up on top and stronger.

But this is something new feel like a little child fallling in love en dont know what to do or say as it is a new experience and feeling.

Hope i keep my myself together.

Leave the bar now, so you won't regret it later.

[needforspeed]

Good moment out of my live going true my mind, feel empty and very sad.

We had many ups and down in our live but always end up on top and stronger.

But this is something new feel like a little child fallling in love en dont know what to do or say as it is a new experience and feeling.

Hope i keep my myself together.

Leave the bar now, so you won't regret it later.

What are you thinking that i am sitting 24/7 in a bar.

And if you still dont get it, don't worry i left the bar 25 days ago.

But thanks for your concern.

[t.s]

I really don't understand why someone would share all this on an Internet forum full of strangers.

Whatever happened to the support of flesh and blood friends? Are you really so lacking in genuine support that you need to itemise your personal life on thaivisa.com? Shouldn't some things remain private?

My earlier reference to a poster named tippaporn was not meant to infer that this was a troll, but rather to point out a similar example on tv of a very personal series of events dragged through the thaivisa mud.

When I log on here the last thing I am seeking is a group hug or a therapy session.

First off all, you read this thread isn't, its like people complaining about porn and having the computer full of it, hypocrite.

Second, all my friend and there partners know my GF very well so for me very risky to discuss this issue with them in this stage.

Also i get advice from many people who have been in same situation on Thaivisa with all there different experiences and reaction from partners on there actions, i never get that in the local bar or from my friends, so more and quick advice, and i am happy with it.

What is next? Reality tv, interviews, a documentary, a video blog?

You not realy up to date exist for about 10 years already.

thaivisa mud.

When I log on here the last thing I am seeking is a group hug or a therapy session.

Please don't read or make any comment on this thread as this is a waste of time for you and for me, thanks for that.

I don't think i am being a hypocrite.

to my mind a hypocrite is someone who plasters their personal information all over the internet and then has the gall to tell people they should not not to read it or offer an opinion.

i personally wouldn't instigate a train wreck, but should one happen on my doorstep i would look out the window and watch the news reports about it.

this is a public forum in case you hadn't noticed, and you are here daily soliciting attention. if you want the right to tell someone to mind their own business, then keep it to yourself.

I have had my share of personal tragedy, i have just never felt the need to publish it.

look at your posts, you are sweetness and light when you like what you hear and you become abusive when anyone posts something that challenges you.

you are not here for advice you are here for validation, and the longer you wallow in self pity the more of a cuckold you become.

you dont want to hear anymore? beg a mod to close this thread and deal with the situation yourself

Edited February 2, 2010 by t.s

[William Osborne]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.

top marks for reply

would love to what would have happened if he decided to quit his offshore salary, stay home and become an English teacher on 40k a month..

If you think any different, you're reading too many Romance novels

[khunandy]

It sounds like you've been a good mate and father. If you've tried to do the best you can for your family, just realize that whatever you decide to do, you can look at yourself in the mirror and, eventually, be content. I wish you good luck in your decisions.

Thanks, i hope so.

Sometimes i think my job is a problem, a few posters told this as well.

4 weeks on 4 weeks off isn't a realy good situation, you miss half off your family life.

Christmas, Birthdays,first day to school and it going on and on.

Mate just remember that dealing with these sorts of problems while out on a rig is a nightmare, everything is doom and gloom and sometimes the internet is your only friend.

It isnt unusual for any relationships to be tested to varying degrees after a long period of time together and kids etc..some sleazebag can come along and push the right buttons on any women, just a matter of finding them.

Whilst having a backup plan you could also come home and try to save what you had by swollowing a heap of pride and anger and going all out to gain her love again.

4 on/off can be tough but Thais usually know the harsh realities of what it takes to earn the bucks, better than 2 years in Taiwan or Isreal.

You could gain a lot of face by handling this in a loving and compassionate manner if you could rise above it...I dont think I could but you seem pretty together in your writings.

[LuckyLew]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

I expected that she going to find another man and F@#@K the shit out off him.

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

I apply with Shell to take my children with me to the platform still waiting for there answer.

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.How you know

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.I dont ask you, so keep your stupid comments for yourself, Thanks

Sorry, I am not gonna give you a sugar coated answer

You feel miserable, look in the mirror and figure out why

When he is there, she has him and his money

When he is not there, she has his money

She is missing the "him" and has decided to find

the "him" in someone else.

Therefor you can say that she is missing the "him"

If you do not want the publics replies, don't post your

sad pathetic stories on a pubic forum

[WeeGB]

I've read the first page and last page of this thread.

What were you expecting when you leave for weeks at a time?

I expected that she going to find another man and F@#@K the shit out off him.

You leave her here to raise your three kids by herself?

I apply with Shell to take my children with me to the platform still waiting for there answer.

You have put your job and career over her and the kids

It does not matter how much money you make. This story

is proof that some things are more important than money.

she needs love and attention and you are not there to give it to her.How you know

If you ask me, you made your bed, now sleep in it.I dont ask you, so keep your stupid comments for yourself, Thanks

Sorry, I am not gonna give you a sugar coated answer

You feel miserable, look in the mirror and figure out why

When he is there, she has him and his money

When he is not there, she has his money

She is missing the "him" and has decided to find

the "him" in someone else.

Therefor you can say that she is missing the "him"

If you do not want the publics replies, don't post your

sad pathetic stories on a pubic forum

"pubic forum"???

Hopefully needforspeed will come to his senses and get a grip of his cheating wife's short and curlies, before dumping her from a great height.

[KhaoNiaw]

The phonecall looked a bit like she was trying to pin down an exact day for your arrival home. Maybe doesn't want to get caught out.

Anyway, keep the head straight and best of luck to you.

[needforspeed]

Sorry, I am not gonna give you a sugar coated answer

You feel miserable, look in the mirror and figure out why

When he is there, she has him and his money

When he is not there, she has his money

She is missing the "him" and has decided to find

the "him" in someone else.

Therefor you can say that she is missing the "him"

If you do not want the publics replies, don't post your

sad pathetic stories on a pubic forum

With this sad pathetic story is tlll manage to spoilet a lot off your life time, talking about pathetic.

Spending time by reading and answering stories like this.

PS dont forget your visa 9 March.

[longstebe]

I'm sure the OP has been working a lot longer than he has been with his g/f, therfore she knew his job would require him working away. How can the OP be putting his job over her and the kids? So anyone who works away from home to provide for his/her family, the other half has the right to cheat?

The OP must pack up work and live off the land, yeah right, lets see how long that lasts.

[IanForbes]

This thread reminds me of another thread on long distance romances. It all depends on the individuals. It works for some and doesn't work for others. Frankly, I wouldn't leave a woman alone for long time periods. Even the best of women will stray if they are feeling neglected. It's the same for men. If a man isn't getting any at home then the first honey who gives him the eye is going to turn his head.

As I already stated, I wish the best for the OP, but I don't hold much hope for their future together. The only thing that concerns me is the children. That can probably be worked out to a mutual satisfaction if no nastiness is begun by either party.

[caf]

This thread reminds me of another thread on long distance romances. It all depends on the individuals. It works for some and doesn't work for others. Frankly, I wouldn't leave a woman alone for long time periods. Even the best of women will stray if they are feeling neglected. It's the same for men. If a man isn't getting any at home then the first honey who gives him the eye is going to turn his head.

As I already stated, I wish the best for the OP, but I don't hold much hope for their future together. The only thing that concerns me is the children. That can probably be worked out to a mutual satisfaction if no nastiness is begun by either party.

"Frankly, I wouldn't leave a woman alone for long time periods." How long do you stay in Canada, how long in Thailand, Ian? I don't think you're in a position to advise, frankly. The op is looking for some constructive responses. He is getting many. Good luck to him. I understand his situation

caf

[jayjayjayjay]

Just got a call from my GF,

So i asked her what is the problem, this as the only reason she call me is if there is a problem at home.

I call her every day for a few minutes.

Me: What is the problem darling?

GF: Nothing i just wanted to call you.

(At this time i got nervous)

Me: Ok i have the time, how are the children doing.

GF:They ok they played the whole afternoon at the childrens playground.

Me:Good, sure there is nothing wrong as you never called me.

GF: I just wanted to tell you that i love you to much.

Me: Thank you darling i love you as well.

GF: When you coming home darling, we all miss you.

Me: I am not sure between 17 and 20 February let you know asap.

GF: Ok darling thank you, call me tomorrow yes.

Me: I call you every day darling so also tomorrow.

GF: Sleep well, i love you

Me: Say hello to the children i love bye.

GF Bye bye

End.

What is wrong here, it drives me crazy, a telephone call from about 2 minutes.

This because i have the feeling and correct me if i am wrong that she dit something and after felt guilty about it.

She call me average ones a year and that means there is something wrong, last time she called me was April 2008 when my son admitted at the hospital.

Maybe because what i know i feel like jumping from the rig.

Am i getting crazy or do other people think the same.

Like this 3 more weeks on the rig feels like a long long way to go.

I hope you've worked this one out already. She was finding out what your schedule is!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you lied and gave her they wrong date. That way if she plans to have the intruder around then she knows what dates your touching down. I've been there before, and it's a surprise for the straying lady when she finds out her time with her new man is more public than she thinks.

Edited February 3, 2010 by jayjayjayjay

[IanForbes]

"Frankly, I wouldn't leave a woman alone for long time periods." How long do you stay in Canada, how long in Thailand, Ian? I don't think you're in a position to advise, frankly. The op is looking for some constructive responses. He is getting many. Good luck to him. I understand his situation

caf

I also understand his position. My job with the Forest Service in BC meant being away from home for a minimum of one month every other month. That meant a coastal log scaler was away from home for 6 months of the year. For married couples it was VERY stressful on both spouses and there were many that couldn't handle it. Periods of longer than a month often lead to marital problems. Many of the men had drinking problems brought on by being away from their families. Many women had extra-marital affairs. Only a few insular people could handle that type of marriage.

I also agree that he has received some good advice here, but he has to sift through the stuff that is of no value. I don't make excuses for anyone's behaviour because I don't have to deal with their life. I DO feel by going slow that it is the best way to solve his problem. Many people thought I was crazy to live in the same home as my ex-wife after we had agreed to split. I did it for over 2 years until my children had both graduated from highschool. But, I had the children's best interests at heart. As it turned out it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

[yabaaaa]

"Frankly, I wouldn't leave a woman alone for long time periods." How long do you stay in Canada, how long in Thailand, Ian? I don't think you're in a position to advise, frankly. The op is looking for some constructive responses. He is getting many. Good luck to him. I understand his situation

caf

I also understand his position. My job with the Forest Service in BC meant being away from home for a minimum of one month every other month. That meant a coastal log scaler was away from home for 6 months of the year. For married couples it was VERY stressful on both spouses and there were many that couldn't handle it. Periods of longer than a month often lead to marital problems. Many of the men had drinking problems brought on by being away from their families. Many women had extra-marital affairs. Only a few insular people could handle that type of marriage.

I also agree that he has received some good advice here, but he has to sift through the stuff that is of no value. I don't make excuses for anyone's behaviour because I don't have to deal with their life. I DO feel by going slow that it is the best way to solve his problem. Many people thought I was crazy to live in the same home as my ex-wife after we had agreed to split. I did it for over 2 years until my children had both graduated from highschool. But, I had the children's best interests at heart. As it turned out it was one of the best decisions I've ever made.

I split from my longterm (15 years)girlfriend in the UK met and married my wife 4 years ago then moved back in with the old girlfriend 18 months later. I come to Thailand twice a year for 2-3 months per time as I have to earn the cash. Last time I came the ex came with me my wife has been and stayed here too. Everyones different we have never had any problems over this.

It is hard being apart but my wife knows now is the time we need to set up our future life permanently together.

[t.s]

I also understand his position. My job with the Forest Service in BC meant being away from home for a minimum of one month every other month. That meant a coastal log scaler was away from home for 6 months of the year. For married couples it was VERY stressful on both spouses and there were many that couldn't handle it. Periods of longer than a month often lead to marital problems. Many of the men had drinking problems brought on by being away from their families. Many women had extra-marital affairs. Only a few insular people could handle that type of marriage.

at risk of being bina-esque and taking this home, i did 3 years of rap attack (canaduh, bc) in the summers. i remained (intermittently)sober through most of it, but the the local talent didn't. kewlowna girls are committed. god bless 'em and thank god i was single.

that said when i was coastal planting later on fidelity was not an issue, but that was either exhaustion or respect.

i wonder if our slightly defensive op has never sought comfort outside the home.

because that would be playing a double standard.

[needforspeed]

I hope you've worked this one out already. She was finding out what your schedule is!!!!!!!!!!!! I hope you lied and gave her they wrong date. That way if she plans to have the intruder around then she knows what dates your touching down. I've been there before, and it's a surprise for the straying lady when she finds out her time with her new man is more public than she thinks.

Yes i worked that out already but i didn't lie, between 17 and 20 February.

And maybe 16th.

[bina]

thank you ts!! now i have a name for my kind of posts!!!)

funny, this whole thread really, cause the town near my village has one of the highest rates of divorce and it is a town mostly made up of CO'S (commissioned officers) who are away for weeks and possibly months at a time, and when at home, barely function as they want to relax before their next round of work.....

when the women were interviewed, they all stated that they appreciated the high quality of life (beautiful houses, parks, good schooling, like type neighbors etc) but as the kids grew, it was more and more difficutl: birthdays (where's daddy?), holidays(here, very traditonally family oriented), paying bills, dealing with daily shit....... and mostly-- boredom and lonliness. money was NOT enough.

and for thsoe thai guys that come over here to work, the divorce rate seems to be higher than at first i thought (they dont speak about it much, its always very hush hush, also the guy goes back, if its bad for him at home, he doesnt call his friends here)..

sometimes couples think they are stronger then they really are. its enough that the husbnd isnt around during a particularly difficult time, the woman finds a good shoulder to cry on, yadadada........ the husband was wanting a better life for the family, the wife thought it was a good idea, but also, 4 on 4 off doesnt give alot of time to 'come to earth' and get used to home life again and discss problems before u have to go off again.

both sides are not to blame really. the point is that the OP has to make a decision, thats all. everyone knows if they will 'let it sldie' or prefer to divorce. or to change jobs and be at home and maybe never trust her again 100%, or maybe it was cause she was lonely but if he makes the effort she will 'come back to him'.......

bina

israel

[manjara]

I was typically working for 4 weeks on followed by 5 days at home, when I was on a contract. It would go ok for about 3 months but then my wife would get progressively more irritated until after 6-7 months she would demand that I came back. I once worked a contract for 9 months and she was almost ready to divorce me at the end of it. When I end the contracts, I usually stay at least 3 months without serious work (I go to my office in BKK occasionally!). After 3 months she is usually happy enough for me to go on another contract and the cycle begins again.

I know that while I am away she goes out with friends and meets and talks with guys. Perhaps foolishly, I trust her not to 'go too far', but I understand that it's difficult being alone and you need some release from house and kids all the time. Sometimes we forget when we go away and get time to ourselves, that our wives are 'stuck' 24/7 with the kids and don't get that time.

This last contract was for a year, so she & kids came with me. I sometimes miss having time to myself, so it puts some things in perspective for me! (now I get s*** if I stay up after she goes to bed!!)

My advice would be to be understanding and try to forgive, it would be too awful to throw away all those years on the basis of something that may just be a 'release' on her part.

Distance relationships put a strain on any marriage/family, we all have to compromise a little to make it work.

[t.s]

thank you ts!! now i have a name for my kind of posts!!!)

CO'S (commissioned officers) who are away for weeks and possibly months at a time, and when at home, barely function as they want to relax before their next round of work.....

bina

israel

in a rare fit of relevance, bina may have hit the nail on the head.

i too have seen this.

[MAJIC]

Forewarned is Forearmed,so as long as she thinks you dont know then you have time on your side to come to terms with

this, tough as it will be, and to make a deliberate,cool and calm decision,especially with your childrens interest taken into

account first.

Good Luck and I hope you can work something out.

[Sabum]

I was typically working for 4 weeks on followed by 5 days at home, when I was on a contract. It would go ok for about 3 months but then my wife would get progressively more irritated until after 6-7 months she would demand that I came back. I once worked a contract for 9 months and she was almost ready to divorce me at the end of it. When I end the contracts, I usually stay at least 3 months without serious work (I go to my office in BKK occasionally!). After 3 months she is usually happy enough for me to go on another contract and the cycle begins again.

I know that while I am away she goes out with friends and meets and talks with guys. Perhaps foolishly, I trust her not to 'go too far', but I understand that it's difficult being alone and you need some release from house and kids all the time. Sometimes we forget when we go away and get time to ourselves, that our wives are 'stuck' 24/7 with the kids and don't get that time.

This last contract was for a year, so she & kids came with me. I sometimes miss having time to myself, so it puts some things in perspective for me! (now I get s*** if I stay up after she goes to bed!!)

My advice would be to be understanding and try to forgive, it would be too awful to throw away all those years on the basis of something that may just be a 'release' on her part.

Distance relationships put a strain on any marriage/family, we all have to compromise a little to make it work.

Wow, you forgive cheating because you work out of country for a few months at a time? Wow. Maybe quit your job and stop accepting the cheating? Or give me your wifes phone number? I can't believe your thought process.