Point Of No Reutrn

[mredward]

all the guys i know pay their tgf's some money, at what point is too much? im thinking over $500 a month is when it becomes more of a business thing.

[carmine]

That's already a business thing

[Flatouthruthefog]

Your chums are making rods for their own backs, as my grandmother would have put it.

Get things into perspective - a Thai perspective.

Outside Bangkok, a Thai teacher of English with a bachelor's degree (eg my wife) is paid around 10,000b per month and a very good cook gets around 8,000b.

Half what those gfs are getting for sweet xxxx-all.

If that's what the girls get for that, I gently suggest they are the wrong girls with the wrong motives and disaster for their fellers lurks just around the corner..........

[tonywebster]

Am i missing something here, am I supposed to be with my girlfriend as a business transaction? Well bugger me, I will have to stop letting her go to work and pay her myself. or on the other hand she can continue working at citibank and bringing home her 30k a month which is then her money to do with as she pleases. maybe it is because she is now in her 40s that gives her this work ethic, or maybe it is because she didn't work in a bar or has low education.

Some of you guys needs to venture out of the bars and meet decent women, there are plenty out there (admittedly not all bar girls are bad and not all none bar girls are good, but you certainly do minimise the risk with a decent working girl)

[robblok]

Am i missing something here, am I supposed to be with my girlfriend as a business transaction? Well bugger me, I will have to stop letting her go to work and pay her myself. or on the other hand she can continue working at citibank and bringing home her 30k a month which is then her money to do with as she pleases. maybe it is because she is now in her 40s that gives her this work ethic, or maybe it is because she didn't work in a bar or has low education.

Some of you guys needs to venture out of the bars and meet decent women, there are plenty out there (admittedly not all bar girls are bad and not all none bar girls are good, but you certainly do minimise the risk with a decent working girl)

Come on they have to pay else they can never date the cuties they have now. Else the have to do with someone in their own leage.

These girls they have now are mia chow (wife for rent)

[Loz]

ANY "regular" payment to a girlfriend is a business transaction. The Question you may really be asking is:

At what point are they taking the pi*s

or,

At what point is the Cost/Benefit analysis swinging into the "NO GO" zone.

Both of these questions are up to each case. There is no deffinitive rule.

If you're happy and you know it, keep up the payments.

[IanForbes]

Everything is a business transaction, whether it's a bar girl, a high society queen, or a wife earning an income. It's like that in all western countries as well as in Thailand. If you don't think so then just just start a divorce process in North America and see what it costs you. It's even a business transaction if the wife is earning a big salary and the guy is staying at home watching TV... only the shoe is on the other foot. There is NOTHING wrong with a business transaction. If it works for all parties concerned then that is all that matters. If some 90 year old rich guy is happy with his 20 year old "house guest", who relieves herself with the tennis pro, then who cares, so long as everyone is happy.

[samuibeachcomber]

Everything is a business transaction, whether it's a bar girl, a high society queen, or a wife earning an income. It's like that in all western countries as well as in Thailand. If you don't think so then just just start a divorce process in North America and see what it costs you. It's even a business transaction if the wife is earning a big salary and the guy is staying at home watching TV... only the shoe is on the other foot. There is NOTHING wrong with a business transaction. If it works for all parties concerned then that is all that matters. If some 90 year old rich guy is happy with his 20 year old "house guest", who relieves herself with the tennis pro, then who cares, so long as everyone is happy.

exactly right.I pay my g/f to stay at home,just a little more than she would earn 6 days a week 9 hours or more a day in some basic employment.I am retired and am happy to share my life 24/7,i dont want a g/f whom i rarely would see if she had full employment.

[Loz]

Everything is a business transaction, whether it's a bar girl, a high society queen, or a wife earning an income. It's like that in all western countries as well as in Thailand. If you don't think so then just just start a divorce process in North America and see what it costs you. It's even a business transaction if the wife is earning a big salary and the guy is staying at home watching TV... only the shoe is on the other foot. There is NOTHING wrong with a business transaction. If it works for all parties concerned then that is all that matters. If some 90 year old rich guy is happy with his 20 year old "house guest", who relieves herself with the tennis pro, then who cares, so long as everyone is happy.

exactly right.I pay my g/f to stay at home,just a little more than she would earn 6 days a week 9 hours or more a day in some basic employment.I am retired and am happy to share my life 24/7,i dont want a g/f whom i rarely would see if she had full employment.

Makes all the sense in the world when you put it like that.

Horses for courses though...

[eek]

Ian, there is quite a big difference in your example, as much as you like to use it. Most people will enter into a relationship based on many factors, not just financial factors. In those cases, if one partner suddenly lost their job or whatever, the other partner wouldnt be out the door like a shot. And..each partner wouldnt (in general) be constantly looking out for the better meal ticket, etc. When a relationship and motivation for staying in the relationship isnt based purely on money, then if there is a change in circumstances, the couple usually will work together to work something out. So many factors, such as respect/care for each other involved, and involvement on an emotional level. When those different levels break down, without the couple finding a way to work it out (or just not wanting to), thats when you will get a break up. Its not just a case money here, i stay, money gone, i go.

Of course, ultimately, as you say, its really up to each individual.

[eek]

exactly right.I pay my g/f to stay at home,just a little more than she would earn 6 days a week 9 hours or more a day in some basic employment.I am retired and am happy to share my life 24/7,i dont want a g/f whom i rarely would see if she had full employment.

Also, that kind of circumstance is different too. I think there is a difference between offering your partner help in order to have a situation you are both happy with. ..i wouldnt really call it "paying". If a man or woman is happy to stay at home and do all the housey stuff etc, then i guess you would call it housekeeping money. I guess it all depends on the motivations and wants of both parties. Of course, i also dont know the OPs and his gfs situation..so im not directly commenting on that.

[carmine]

Everything is a business transaction, whether it's a bar girl, a high society queen, or a wife earning an income. It's like that in all western countries as well as in Thailand. If you don't think so then just just start a divorce process in North America and see what it costs you. It's even a business transaction if the wife is earning a big salary and the guy is staying at home watching TV... only the shoe is on the other foot. There is NOTHING wrong with a business transaction. If it works for all parties concerned then that is all that matters. If some 90 year old rich guy is happy with his 20 year old "house guest", who relieves herself with the tennis pro, then who cares, so long as everyone is happy.

If you believe what you are saying i find it very sad, but each to their own. I suppose i am lucky as i don't have a gf that will do the off the moment i might fall on hard times.

[NADTATIDA1]

"all the guys i know pay their tgf's some money, at what point is too much? im thinking over $500 a month is when it becomes more of a business thing."

I think you are past the point of no return at this figure!

The problem is when you stop paying she will move on to the next one,if you don"t believe me try it and see?

I have been down that road and it is much better to get out and about with someone who does not have a need for a fixed farang income or a FFI!

Edited January 13, 2010 by NADTATIDA1

[robblok]

exactly right.I pay my g/f to stay at home,just a little more than she would earn 6 days a week 9 hours or more a day in some basic employment.I am retired and am happy to share my life 24/7,i dont want a g/f whom i rarely would see if she had full employment.

Different story will she stop with you or start working again if you stop paying. If she starts working then your not paying for a gf.

But again not everything is black and white. I pay more as my gf in the house as my income is higher.. some might even see that as paying.

[bonobo]

Discussing relationships and the financial aspects which are part of those relationships is allowed here in ThaiVisa.  But there are a few posts which are dipping towards that line of discussing specifics of prostitution, so please keep in mind that that kind of discussion is not allowed.  So please no posts on the financial aspects of any paying-for-sex transactions. 

[lovelomsak]

During my working career back in Canada I worked with a few guys who took their pay cheques home and gave them to their wives. The wife got it all and gave the husband money as they saw need. My younger brother is one of these guys. So are they paying for female companion ?

In Thailand I know many thai families where the husband is responsible for giving the wife a set amount of money each month be it 10,000 baht or what ever. I know one thai man gives his wife 125,000 baht a month to take care of home and family.

It ia all about do you get what you want (at the end of the day)out of the relationship.Meaning are you happy the way things are.

Edited January 13, 2010 by lovelomsak

[neverdie]

My thai gf supports me , tis a great thing & she also supplies a bit more than the $500, so if this is a business thing, I better get myself a work permit

[nam-thip]

I'm now 63 years old and when i was young my father worked and gave my mother a weekly allowance to take care of the home and children.

Can anyone tell me what the difference is?

[neverdie]

I'm now 63 years old and when i was young my father worked and gave my mother a weekly allowance to take care of the home and children.

Can anyone tell me what the difference is?

After 60 odd years im guessing the difference would be in the size of the allowance

[siggie2]

My gf takes care of the house and kid until he is old enough and then maybe she will go back working in hotel,but for the paltry sum i prefer we have good time in the day when kid at school.If she wants a little money my wallet is there

[Lite Beer]

Inflammatory post deleted

[eek]

I'm now 63 years old and when i was young my father worked and gave my mother a weekly allowance to take care of the home and children.

Can anyone tell me what the difference is?

Can anyone tell me what the difference is? I thought i kind of did...?

[Brunus]

Your gf/wife should stay with you because she loves you. And you should stay with her for the same reason. At least that's what I think. If you give money to your partner (because you much richer than her), it's not a big deal. What is important is that she should stay with you even if you are broke, and she should help you if you are in need. So, answering the OP question, the point of no return is when you realize that she "loves you" only because of your money. If you can't give her money and she walks? Maybe you'll find a better one next time.

Edited January 13, 2010 by Brunus

[BigWheelMan]

Discussing relationships and the financial aspects which are part of those relationships is allowed here in ThaiVisa. But there are a few posts which are dipping towards that line of discussing specifics of prostitution, so please keep in mind that that kind of discussion is not allowed. So please no posts on the financial aspects of any paying-for-sex transactions.

Not prostitution, but could this sort of set up be termed as, rent a wife?

What do these guys see in these women? It`s all for show and fake.

[bina]

difference between 'allowance' or 'pocket money' ; one partner is working, the other partner gets some cash to do with what he/she pleases...

for a while i was the 'wealthier' (ha ha) , and husband got some cash to do wiht what he wanted. now , my kibbutz account is closed for withdrawals for various reasons,, so he is the one with more ready cash, so he hands over some, i decide what i do with it... we both decide how much on food/household stuff....

if this guy is thinking about the allowance that many send overseas to their overseas thai wives while they themselves are off shore or wherever, working, then, the rule is: only as much as she would need for daily activities, plus some extra, AS LONG AS U CAN AFFORD IT. with the understanding that when u dont have, she doesnt get any either.

the thai men here do the same. btw, in the villages , the wives tend to control the pocket books in the house.

bina

israel

[powderpuff]

I'm happy right here on Fantasy Island.

I guess I'm not a pompous ass making judgments.

[a2396]

Am i missing something here, am I supposed to be with my girlfriend as a business transaction? Well bugger me, I will have to stop letting her go to work and pay her myself. or on the other hand she can continue working at citibank and bringing home her 30k a month which is then her money to do with as she pleases. maybe it is because she is now in her 40s that gives her this work ethic, or maybe it is because she didn't work in a bar or has low education.

Some of you guys needs to venture out of the bars and meet decent women, there are plenty out there (admittedly not all bar girls are bad and not all none bar girls are good, but you certainly do minimise the risk with a decent working girl)

"Plenty out there"??? Not where I live. Maybe in BKK or Pattaya. Most have ZERO interest in a Farang, unless they are in need of money and I am NOT talking about bar girls, etc.

[samuibeachcomber]

Your gf/wife should stay with you because she loves you. And you should stay with her for the same reason. At least that's what I think. If you give money to your partner (because you much richer than her), it's not a big deal. What is important is that she should stay with you even if you are broke, and she should help you if you are in need. So, answering the OP question, the point of no return is when you realize that she "loves you" only because of your money. If you can't give her money and she walks? Maybe you'll find a better one next time.

this is all well and good in theory(staying for love during hard times)but the simple fact is,is that if you run out of money how is your g/f or wife going to support you if she can only command a salary of between 8000 to 15000 baht per month.As there is no social welfare to speak of in this country to fall back on in hard times,as there is in the west,love or taking care kind of goes out the window when realty kicks in i.e. no money.Unless of course you can live in a 2000 baht per month room,and eat noodles 24/7.

[Hssl]

Giving the other half cash is one thing.......................... house keeping, pocket money, whatever to supplement her income from a lower paid 'normal' job

Giving the other half money not to go back to a bar to sell her arse is another - better to rent by the hour or day in this case me thinks!

[IanForbes]

Ian, there is quite a big difference in your example, as much as you like to use it. Most people will enter into a relationship based on many factors, not just financial factors. In those cases, if one partner suddenly lost their job or whatever, the other partner wouldnt be out the door like a shot. And..each partner wouldnt (in general) be constantly looking out for the better meal ticket, etc. When a relationship and motivation for staying in the relationship isnt based purely on money, then if there is a change in circumstances, the couple usually will work together to work something out. So many factors, such as respect/care for each other involved, and involvement on an emotional level. When those different levels break down, without the couple finding a way to work it out (or just not wanting to), thats when you will get a break up. Its not just a case money here, i stay, money gone, i go.

Of course, ultimately, as you say, its really up to each individual.

I don't disagree with you at all, eek. Every relationship is different. I have several young ladies who actually enjoy my company and I like them. I respect them and they respect me. We laugh and joke together, but we do know that life together on a permanent basis wouldn't work. We all know that we could not live together as a married couple, but we do enjoy our times together. And, I help them out as best I can, but they know I'm not an ATM machine to be milked at every opportunity. I've told them many times that I would like nothing better than to see them find some guy closer to their age that they could have a long term relationship with. A few of my old girl friends are now either married or have steady boyfriends. I couldn't be happier for them. I just believe that marriage is an over blown institution that has been bastardized so much it no longer is what it was meant for.

I know that many people can like each other, and possibly love each other, but never live together. I have a lady in Canada who has been a friend for over 50 years. We once were lovers and now just stay friends. We were never married to each other, but followed each other's love affairs with others. And, we both know that if we ever tried living together it would ruin a perfectly good platonic relationship.