“should I Stay Or Should I Go Now”

[Tonto21]

Stay or Go? It’s your decision. Or is it?

I read a lot of posts on TV from people who, on the surface say they know what they want and where they want to live. But reading between the lines I see a different picture. I think lots of falang, (not all by any means) after the “honeymoon” period feel little self worth here and even see themselves in the main as a walking wallets, unable to affect there surroundings or interact with it unless they throw money at it due to not learning basic Thai. Boredom and Grumpythitas, even self loathing sets in, especially in places where there is a concentration of falang, like Pattaya.

A lot of falang living here in Thailand have given up a lot to live there dream, and for a lot that dream has turned into a nightmare. How many will admit it? Not many I would bet!

A fare amount of falang I meet are only too happy to tell me how long they have lived here, some tell me with a fixed stare and gritted teeth as if there re-living an epic struggle, and yet still here, WHY! There are no “long service and good conduct medals” issued for service in Thailand guys! The very thing that got you here, should be the same thing that takes you home, or onto the next adventure. “One life, live it”

To now say “I <deleted>**ked up, I was wrong” takes balls, when having said to all these mates back home, “I’ll send you a post card” all that bragging, people telling them how brave they are to start a new life. Who der man? How can they go home now, no money, no job, and feeling like a fool? Of course this doesn’t apply to every one living here. Being happy and living in Thailand comes down to how do you plan to fill your days, It gets dam expensive doing nothing all day. Do some people really think they can drink, shag and eat there way to the promise land? Yes I think there are, well in the early days anyway. Good luck with that.

I used to think, Shit! There seem to be a lot of people falling of there balconies in Pattaya and like most falang I put this down too, were they pushed or shoved? But more and more I’m starting to believe that for some poor desperate souls, with no one to talk too, (It’s a mans world a!) getting fueled up and taking a one way flight out the window was preferable to the one way flight via Dubai. As falang men we have a lot going for us but one area I feel we are seriously bad in, it’s allowing our pride to dictate our actions.

I for one still like Thailand after 4 years, I think I’m lucky, I came here having some Thai and falang friend, who schooled me on life in Thailand, I was resistant at first, after all I’m no kid, I’ve traveled all my life, I know the score” But it’s paid dividends. I still don’t think I have a finger on the pulse of Thai life and I’m not saying I’ll stay, I just hope I’ll be able to see the signs that it’s time to move on, when my time comes.

Good luck to all who are facing having to make a tough dicision about, going or staying in Thailand. If staying, two tips for you, first, get a ground floor flat, second, get a sense of humor. Good luck!

[Jingthing]

Nice font.

Regarding the balcony jumping concern. One way to combat that is to eat yourself into massive obesity, then you won't be able to climb over the railing. Just saying ...

Yeah, it can be hard to move to Thailand. It can be hard to leave. How can you seriously generalize about the experience of many thousands of people? We all have our own story and reasons to be here, reasons to stay, and reasons to leave.

Edited January 13, 2010 by Jingthing

[Tonto21]

Nice font.

Thanks Jingthing... I think... is that code for something, if it is can you tell me what? and what do's Troll stands for? I know I'm going to kick myself when you tell me, but right now I don't have a foggy!

[highonthai]

Dont think it's a tough dicision, just go home if your burned out. Not a big deal unless you have sold everything you had to live here and don't have anything to go back to.

what I like about here is you see them come and go...

Are you selling your house and car cheap? Call me I'm interested....

[Jingthing]

Nice font.

Thanks Jingthing... I think... is that code for something, if it is can you tell me what? and what do's Troll stands for? I know I'm going to kick myself when you tell me, but right now I don't have a foggy!

Its code for move this to FARANG PUB at the earliest convenience. BTW, that's FARANG with an R, not an L. Edited January 13, 2010 by Jingthing

[highonthai]

Nice font.

Thanks Jingthing... I think... is that code for something, if it is can you tell me what? and what do's Troll stands for? I know I'm going to kick myself when you tell me, but right now I don't have a foggy!

Its code for move this to FARANG PUB at the earliest convenience. BTW, that's FARANG with an R, not an L.

[caf]

Tonto

What you say does apply to many people and a good summary.

I can't see why Jingthing takes the view he does. Nowhere did you say it applies to everyone. Ignore him. Your thread may get some serious replies.

caf

[moe666]

Tonto21 what would be the difference between someone being pushed or shoved over a balcony.

[PhilHarries]

I can't see why Jingthing takes the view he does. Nowhere did you say it applies to everyone. Ignore him. Your thread may get some serious replies.

caf

Serious replies to what? The OP hasn't posed a question, just posted a long winded, rambling load of horse sh1t.

Yeah, some people can hack it in Thailand and some can't. Of those who can't some go home some move on and some do the flying starfish from the eleventh floor.

Try to not be in the last category.

btw, nice font.

bbtw, it's farang if you want to use that word to indicate foreigners.

[Ricardo]

Those older farangs, who now live more-quietly in Isaan or Ban Nawk, may well simply be happy to have made it to their older years, I know that I'll be delighted to reach my 70s !

[Lite Beer]

Inflammatory post and the reply to it deleted.

[mizzi39]

OP, you state in your last paragraph that you still like Thailand after 4 years, yet your post sounds like a bad case of transference.

[Tywais]

Serious replies to what? The OP hasn't posed a question, just posted a long winded, rambling load of horse sh1t.

In case you missed the topic title > “should I Stay Or Should I Go Now” and in his OP > "Stay or Go?" Looks like a question, though perhaps rhetorical, to me.

[geriatrickid]

I thought this would be an ode to the Clash.

I don't get the hostility to the OP. It's not like he started a thread on the fashion faux pas of wearing a singlet and thong to the Tesco.

I enjoyed his contribution. Besides, if the font is so bad, why is it an option then?

[longstebe]

You still like the place after 4 years, so stay.

[Hawk]

Go!

[phetaroi]

I think what the OP doesn't realize is that while TV'ers are a pretty wide spectrum of people, that's not the same as being representative of of the spectrum in terms of percentages.

I think there's a tendency of many posters on TV to be complainers, moaners, and groaners. Not everyone, not all the time, but probably over-represented.

I'm not sure it's a self-worth issue for me (although it could be if I didn't keep busy doing other things I enjoy), but being a retired professional educator and not being able to volunteer in a school has been frustrating.

I think that most expats who come here and live a nightmarish existance go home, and those that don't probably will live a nightmarish existence wherever they are. In their cases it's less about the situation than it is about their personalities.

[Loz]

...I think that most expats who come here and live a nightmarish existance go home, and those that don't probably will live a nightmarish existence wherever they are. In their cases it's less about the situation than it is about their personalities.

And the award for, "The most sense I've read in a sensitive topic thread" goes to...

I'd add the same goes for those who come here and live a happy life. They are probably the type that would be happy anywhere.

remember the one about the little girl who was waiting patiently for her birthday, the day came and she was led to the shed out the back. The door opened to the smell of dung! She dived in and started throwing it around in fits of excitement. Her mother looking on bemused by this asked her what she was so excited about, her reply....

With all this sh i t in here, there must be a pony, somewhere!!

[Penefattore]

Tonto...you picked the right nick for sure.

[CrossBones]

Yep

Lots of lonely farangs in Pattaya with low self esteem... with many mates and few friends, feeling seriously depressed etc etc.

I think many people are kind of reliving their teenage years when they went out partying all the time and havent really accepted when you get older you do tend to have a lot fewer friends around.

I find it hard why these lonely farangs are difficult to get friendly with, it seems for some they want to be like that. They tend to be bitter and unfriendly and have a few other bitter unfriendly friends.

Its amazing what a bit of quality psychotherapy can do to break you out of the negative thinking cycle and mindset. A holiday in Thailand does wonders too... but it is a bit of a quick fix. Staying here permanently you find things in life that really annoy you same as back home.

Some people need to face their demons.. there is only so far you can run. Wherever you go you take yourself with you.

[Jingthing]

Tonto...you picked the right nick for sure.

"That right, Kemo Sabe,"

[Matan]

Well half the stuff on general forum is troll <deleted> anyway, may as well add some spice!

[MiG16]

The language on the forum is English only (except for Thai language in the Thai subforum)

for this reason I have deleted a post with Thai transliteration and replies to that post from the thread

cheers all

[chiang mai]

But surely Thailand is different things to different people and it's also different things to the same person over time. At age 50 it might seem like the ideal retirement venue following many years of hard work and a pot of saved cash. Perhaps at age 55 or 60 that same person sees life differently, priorities have changed , perhaps the saved pot is now smaller, many lessons about their adopted country have been learned. But for that person, is it too late to reverse the pattern and return home, bridges burned, family perhaps gone, past friends have gone their ways - where does that leave our example, living in a place that he/she doesn't truly care for and wanting to go back and relive some of the past but can't.

Well, for the strong and determined there's always a way forward but I think more importantly there's a serious message for the younger folks whom I read all too often want to retire in Thailand at age 40 or so, actually a series of lessons that really should be heeded: don't burn your bridges, always have a plan B, accept that you will change over time, what you know today doesn't even begin to compare to what you'll know in ten years time, chasing sweet young things at age sixty is not as much fun as at age 40 or 50 - perhaps the most important one, the value of one million after ten years is only about 600k.

Here endeth the lesson.

[Matan]

The language on the forum is English only (except for Thai language in the Thai subforum)

for this reason I have deleted a post with Thai transliteration and replies to that post from the thread

cheers all

Perhaps you should delete the OP as well since that contains transliteration?

[MiG16]

the text in the OP made complete sense to me

(perhaps there is a few words transliteration in it that I may have overlooked)

the point is - its an English language forum, not to mention the fact that the half thai and half english in one sentence makes it almost incomprehensible to most readers - both reasons enough for such posts to be deleted.

to those that understand Thai, they may see some humour in it (which perhaps is what you were aiming at), but the majority of our readers are not Thai speakers/readers, so it wont make sense to most.

cheers