Farang In Los Are Generally Reactive, Not Proactive

[cognos]

In general, perhaps farang in Thailand often are the authors of their OWN problems (even demise), then complain ad nauseum about them on places like Thai visa. Instant gratification seems to be the norm. The farang ( and I am one ) generally views LOS THROUGH THE LENS of their own culture, as opposed to "walking a mile in the shoes of those who inhabit this land". As a result, the oft - jaded farang often finds fault wherever he may go.

Instant gratification is the norm, whether it comes to sex, or honking your horn at a perceived or real transgression by the locals. For heavens sake, have we not learned to be proactive, as opposed to reactive? Can we not turn the other cheek when cut off in traffic, or must we react instantly in a negative fashion, going honk, honk, honk, and waving our fists? Apparantly not. Why not be proactive and have some patience??

Can we wait some degree of time before we hook up with the first Thai lady that satisfies our sexual desires of instant gratification? Apparantly not, in general. This is the one where the guys get want they want quickly, then its easy come easy go, and they REACT by blaming everyone else when the relationship goes south, but hardly ever look in the mirror. Why not be proactive and take your time with relationships??

That is just 2 examples of millions..

Do you find that farang in LOS tend toward the reactive? Why not be more proactive in general??

[SomTumTiger]

Someone had a bad expat day...

[Jingthing]

Is the OP trying to pen a rationale for the murder of the German in Phuket, who was murdered for beeping his horn? Oh, no you di'int!

[cognos]

.what I am really doing is complaining about all the complainers, and assuming that many of the complaints by farang in LOS COULD be avoided altogether if farang were more proactive

signed; another god dammmmmed complainer of a different stripe

[dumball]

What this sounds more like to me is " Should all foreigners become sheeply and forget their own sense of purposë " .

The gorgious lady is fawning all over me , licking my ears and saying "We go ome bed now ?" I respond with "That's okay , how about we wait until tomorrow "

The car salesman calls "Sir , your new car has arrived " , I rush off to the dealership and pranse around my new possession proud as punch , go into the office and pay cash and address the salesman " Okay numbchuck , I will be back in a week to take a test drive "

Yeah , sure , do most of us humans not like a little instant gratification now and then ?

[cognos]

Someone had a bad expat day...

..perhaps so, however many expats seem to have a bad "expat life", never mind day, and I am alleging, PLAIN AND SIMPLE, that instant gratification and being REACTIVE as opposed to Proactive ( see above examples for starters) causes the los expat no end of grief and misery

[cognos]

Is the OP trying to pen a rationale for the murder of the German in Phuket, who was murdered for beeping his horn? Oh, no you di'int!

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8. and on and on..I feel very sorry for what he went through, but it is NOT about him, it is about the GENERAL relative nature of such incidents in totality, NOT in isolation..

signed: may the German in Phuket rest in peace, and all the recent others as well

[anothertorres]

u tink too mutt.

[cognos]

Is the OP trying to pen a rationale for the murder of the German in Phuket, who was murdered for beeping his horn? Oh, no you di'int!

let me attempt to enlighten you..( although I would probably be better off convincing freshly poured concrete not to dry)..if you want to generally look through the lens of western culture, you honk your horn in anger, or you let someone know you are not happy with what they did, so you honk at them. This generally is NOT a helpful response. If you want to assimilate into Thai culture, you honk your horn ONLY to avoid an accident.. ONLY to avoid an accident.. NOT to "TEACH" the OTHER guy A LESSON..of course some Thais will honk their horns in anger.. but does that mean you do it too?? cmonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn..

..being proactive means keeping a low profile, and not reacting to your anger/frustration/..you are in LOS now!!! not in Europe..go to Rome in the round abouts.. most everyone leans on the horn 24/7 this is not GOOD in LOS, as we have seen time and time again

This is not to rationalize the poor fellows murder, this is to be PROACTIVE to perhaps help ONE person from reacting in a similar fashion and perhaps meeting the same terrible fate

signed: tragedies can be avoided, but why bother changing from reactive to proactive??....ahhhhh lets see....

[cognos]

look, the "millions" of motorcycles in Phuket rule the road.. to get angry at them is USELESS, and potentially deadly. My Thai brother in law in Phuket HATES motorcyclists and complains about them to me from time to time, as we drive in his truck and I am in the passenger seat. What he DOES NOT DO is let them know he is pissed off.. he neither honks nor gestures to them.. instead he LETS them have their way, as they will continue to swerve in front of you etc.. the exception ( AGAIN) is to ONLY honk to avoid an accident..

signed: he has common sense and prudence to live another day

[473geo]

So if you react in the correct manner......are you being reactive?

[dumball]

'473geo'

So if you react in the correct manner......are you being reactive?

A resounding YES .

honking your horn in the West is not in anger as suggested , it is a means of letting another road user know he/she is about to enroach on your space possibly in a dangerous manner , in retrospect , had he failed to have been honked , an accident could have occured instead of being averted , the Thai way is to run the guy over first and then run from the scene to be proactive about what excuse he can make .

There are many alternatives to the the choice either/or of these words , dependant on circumstance , there is no adamant use , only a percieved use to suit the orators personal conviction . This thread could be commented on ad-finitum with no plausable ending or explanation , something akin to beauty being in the eye of the beholder , some would say "Well , she is not realy pretty ", others would proffer "Well , she's not realy ugly either " , both being reactive statements , the proactive person would pass the comment "Well , I think she's neither , rather somewhere in between , pretty ugly " .

Good night one and all , perchance to dream , should I wack him in the face or wait a while and give him a big hug !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Dakhar]

double post

Edited January 30, 2010 by Dakhar

[Dakhar]

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted drug addict, and a drunk would come and preach about being proactive etc., whilst the OP has spent a life time numbing himself chemically to the realities of the world.

Maybe, that is the trick.... smoke some "home grown" and it all seems just perfect & the need for organization and the use of logic will seem silly.

Edited January 30, 2010 by Dakhar

[cognos]

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted drug addict, and a drunk would come and preach about being proactive etc., whilst the OP has spent a life time numbing himself chemically to the realities of the world.

Maybe, that is the trick.... smoke some "home grown" and it all seems just perfect & the need for organization and the use of logic will seem silly.

as usual Dakhar, you are being REACTIVE.. so I will join you in that sense.. rather than pm you I will mail you in public.. At least you are consistent in your approach. Not that it is any of your god dammmed business, but for the sake of others who may be influenced by your incorrect and inflammatory statements, I have not smoked weeeed or had any alcohol since Oct 2, 2009.. nor have I had the slightest urge to drink or smoke. Last time I checked, weeeed was a soft "drug", but i will guess that to you, all those folks that do or did smoke weeed are drug addicts for life eh?? I never was a drunk, unless you call having 5 to 8 (small), or conversely 3 or 4 large LEO beers two or three times a week a drunk, then that is your prerogative. I call it binge drinking.

As a matter of fact I am like you now, sober as a judge 24/7, and as you alluded to.." it all seems perfect.." Maybe you find it ironic that this writer was proactive enough to quit all "numbing" substances and return " to the realities of the world", as you so aptly put it.

I will NOW proove you wrong dakhar; much to your chagrin I will assume.. prior to Oct 2, my blood pressure was hovering aroung 135 over 85.. or high normal.. 120 days or so later, it is at 115 to 120 over 75 to 80, with a 59 pulse, and i still work out 5 times a week and play hockey...btw, here I am, at Ko Phi Phi in August, just in case you were interested to see how f'd up i look.. and I'll throw in a recent pic of the wife for good measure..

By the way, binge drinking and "a drunk " are 2 different things dakhar..the latter is chronic, the former may or may not be. Have a nice life dakhar

signed: proactive in Canada, reactive to U

[Dakhar]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

[473geo]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

Why......do you think there are people who are not entitled to comment and opinion?

[Dakhar]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

Why......do you think there are people who are not entitled to comment and opinion?

I did not say that the OP is not entitled to "comment and opinion." I stated that I found his statements to be "ironic."

[cognos]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

I find you reactive, try to be proactive for your own peace of mind.. and..as a special needs teacher I will ATTEMPT to teach you something, AGAIN..reactive in this case is when you call someone a "drug addict", not having a clue if they were an occasional recreational user of a "soft drug", or a chronic daily user.

It may be semantics, for a very judgemental person, ( not that you are, I haven't a clue ).. but for many others, perhaps the described former is simply not apros pos to your "label", where in the case of the latter, your argument may not be so slippery - sloped.

To this writer, in this context, REACTIVE means jumping quickly to the most negative label possible, while conversely, PROACTIVE may mean that the person that is without sin will cast the first stone.

conclusion? ..some TV members must be without sin, so they can cast stones at will from the safety of their cyber glass houses

signed: no test, note - taking voluntary

[473geo]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

Why......do you think there are people who are not entitled to comment and opinion?

I did not say that the OP is not entitled to "comment and opinion." I stated that I found his statements to be "ironic."

Strange..... because given the historical situation you have taken great effort to highlight......his positive attitude to help himself.......then I find his comments anything but ironic.....rather to be expected.......would you care to explain further?

[sanook2me]

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted drug addict, and a drunk would come and preach about being proactive etc., whilst the OP has spent a life time numbing himself chemically to the realities of the world.

Maybe, that is the trick.... smoke some "home grown" and it all seems just perfect & the need for organization and the use of logic will seem silly.

as usual Dakhar, you are being REACTIVE.. so I will join you in that sense.. rather than pm you I will mail you in public.. At least you are consistent in your approach. Not that it is any of your god dammmed business, but for the sake of others who may be influenced by your incorrect and inflammatory statements, I have not smoked weeeed or had any alcohol since Oct 2, 2009.. nor have I had the slightest urge to drink or smoke. Last time I checked, weeeed was a soft "drug", but i will guess that to you, all those folks that do or did smoke weeed are drug addicts for life eh?? I never was a drunk, unless you call having 5 to 8 (small), or conversely 3 or 4 large LEO beers two or three times a week a drunk, then that is your prerogative. I call it binge drinking.

As a matter of fact I am like you now, sober as a judge 24/7, and as you alluded to.." it all seems perfect.." Maybe you find it ironic that this writer was proactive enough to quit all "numbing" substances and return " to the realities of the world", as you so aptly put it.

I will NOW proove you wrong dakhar; much to your chagrin I will assume.. prior to Oct 2, my blood pressure was hovering aroung 135 over 85.. or high normal.. 120 days or so later, it is at 115 to 120 over 75 to 80, with a 59 pulse, and i still work out 5 times a week and play hockey...btw, here I am, at Ko Phi Phi in August, just in case you were interested to see how f'd up i look.. and I'll throw in a recent pic of the wife for good measure..

By the way, binge drinking and "a drunk " are 2 different things dakhar..the latter is chronic, the former may or may not be. Have a nice life dakhar

signed: proactive in Canada, reactive to U

The way to go Coggers putting yourself on TV big balls to you... always interesting to see what posters look like...

BUT, thats a rubbish room the photo is taken of your wife... you have perfect scenery in the background and your wife has the inside of a grotty 500 bhat night beach hut!

signed . u'd da man !

Back on topic... I love driving in BKK and being reactive or proactive but i no longer queue i just drive down the side of the queue and edge in at the front this is

the Thai way and no way could i do it at home in the UK..... driving a car in BKK is easier than it looks its looks like carnage out there but actually its indicate point

and go and people usually make a gap for you...

now back in England if you did that the jerk of in the car behind would purposely speed up so you could not edge in..

signed... a happy clappy camper in LoS..

[Dakhar]

Ok, let me re-prhase that....

The OP is not an Expat, he lives in Canada with his lucky Thai bride.

I find it a bit ironic that a self admitted (former) drug addict, and a drunk "binge drinker" now turned olympian would come and preach about being proactive etc........

I find you reactive, try to be proactive for your own peace of mind.. and..as a special needs teacher I will ATTEMPT to teach you something, AGAIN..reactive in this case is when you call someone a "drug addict", not having a clue if they were an occasional recreational user of a "soft drug", or a chronic daily user.

It may be semantics, for a very judgemental person, ( not that you are, I haven't a clue ).. but for many others, perhaps the described former is simply not apros pos to your "label", where in the case of the latter, your argument may not be so slippery - sloped.

To this writer, in this context, REACTIVE means jumping quickly to the most negative label possible, while conversely, PROACTIVE may mean that the person that is without sin will cast the first stone.

conclusion? ..some TV members must be without sin, so they can cast stones at will from the safety of their cyber glass houses

signed: no test, note - taking voluntary

Special needs teacher.... Hmmm where I come from, your license would be revoked in a nano second, teaching while "blitzed" from "blazing" up a fatty in the boys room during recess is rather frowned upon.

But that is besides the point. Your rant and attempt of justifying the recent murder of a German fellow, that unfortunatley for him was not "melowed out" at the time of his death, is falling upon deaf ears.

[PeaceBlondie]

I read the OP, and several posts. Thanks, cognos, for trying to be cognitive. And for using terms like usually, it seems to me, some people, generally, usually. Your complaints about complainers only apply to 10% of our posters, including you.

I don't use my horn or middle finger here. Turning the other cheek, walking the second mile, and removing all my clothes has been my lifestyle for 35 years. I haven't hooked up with a lady since 1995. Generally, your generalizations are too general.

Have a nice day. Love your enemies.

[Bilqis]

As I see it, if you see inequity, bad behaviour, exploitation, violence, stupidity, authoritarianism, corruption, ineptitude, incompetence, selfishness, poor business practices, dangerous driving, ridiculous legislation, environmental damage, scams, poor infrastructure, second-rate education, abuse of children, poor wages, lop-sided distribution of wealth, building regulations flouted, abuse of animals, polluted beaches, police brutality, shoddy goods, etc etc....WHEREVER it is, it is my prerogative to say something about it

[473geo]

As I see it, if you see inequity, bad behaviour, exploitation, violence, stupidity, authoritarianism, corruption, ineptitude, incompetence, selfishness, poor business practices, dangerous driving, ridiculous legislation, environmental damage, scams, poor infrastructure, second-rate education, abuse of children, poor wages, lop-sided distribution of wealth, building regulations flouted, abuse of animals, polluted beaches, police brutality, shoddy goods, etc etc....WHEREVER it is, it is my prerogative to say something about it

Of course and with that perogative comes acceptance of the consequences.

[Latindancer]

It's the way in which you say it which matters. You could point out certain things in a polite Thai way, or complain bitterly and negatively, making the recipient feel bad inside, in a way Western people sometimes do.

Cognos has raised a very good point, and incidentally, it may be because he IS living in a Western culture that he is dwelling on this.

Whenever I go back to Australia, I get reverse culture shock. The worst part is when I find that reactivity coming back in myself......usually when driving.

I have often wondered if reactivity is hardwired into Western people genetically. I once spoke to an old Canadian woman about his and she told me about an informal study a few doctors had done in a hospital years ago. They went around putting their hands over babies' mouths.

The Caucasian babies got upset, and the Asian babies simply breathed through their noses. Interesting.....

Of course, genetics just produce a a TENDENCY. We can develop and change these things if we try. Vipassana meditation (or any kind, for that matter) helps with reactivity.

Edited January 31, 2010 by Latindancer

[cognos]

"..Generally, your generalizations are too general..."

There is a reason for that..pointing fingers directly is almost never the way to go in my books, as I GENERALLY want to treat people the way I would like to be treated.. and give peop[le the benefit of the doubt and LOTS of rope

sign: you can read between the lines..its not that hard

[salty]

Just thinking of the courtesy the Frenchman was shown by the "nice gentleman" with the tuk tuk in Phuket.

[Latindancer]

Just thinking of the courtesy the Frenchman was shown by the "nice gentleman" with the tuk tuk in Phuket.

We don't know what was said by the Frenchman before the driver whacked him. It takes two to Tango.

Edited January 31, 2010 by Latindancer

[cognos]

"..special needs teacher.... Hmmm where I come from, your license would be revoked in a nano second, teaching while "blitzed" from "blazing" up a fatty in the boys room during recess is rather frowned upon.

But that is besides the point. Your rant and attempt of justifying the recent murder of a German fellow, that unfortunatley for him was not "melowed out" at the time of his death, is falling upon deaf ears..."

your ad-hominum cyber attacks and incorrect assertions are beyond the pale, like you sir. You are flaming me constantly, but I actually enjoy you showing your true colors again and again, spewing your cyber - venom .. I have no time to figure out your unfortunate predicament in life.. that of false judge and jury, willing to point fingers in the wrong direction, everywhere but towards the mirror ( that would be PROACTIVE) . I have a new name for you.. REACTION MAN.. ( because you can )

I never went to work anything but straight and sober, but you seem to know all, carry on existing in your deluded syndrome.

As for the German fellow, he is only the latest unfortunate victim that fell prey to reactive LOSERS... i do feel sorry for those farang who will continue to honk their horns and gesture in anger when cut off by motorcycles

signed: straight guy