Any Funny Members Stories About Living In Thailand?

[neverdie]

This was my story, which I posted on another thread some time back, but thought it might raise a smile or two here........I still get twinges in that shoulder some days .

I've never had a motorcycle accident, in Thailand.

Many years ago whilst taking a short break in Phuket in the evening after a meal I rode my hire motorcycle towards the resort I was staying at. I decided to stop on a section of road above a small beach to look at the water. I got off the motorcycle and put it on its stand before tripping backwards and falling down a small set of stairs (no I wasnt p1ssed, I dont drink). Anyway fortunately my helmet saved me from head injury but my shoulder was broken in the fall. As I was making my way back up the stairs in a great lot of pain a very intoxicated thai lady decided that she was going to make her way off with my motorcycle, which was still parked at the top of the stairs with the key in the ignition. BARE WITH ME THIS GETS BETTER.

Anyway, hearing the bike start I commenced to run and ran onto the road behind my motorcycle, which the lady had managed to stall but was still rolling downhill away from me. In a last ditch effort to stop her I managed to knock her from the motorcycle causing her and my motorcycle to crash onto the roadway, naturally injuring her & damaging the bike.

So now Ive got a busted shoulder, damaged bike and a p!ssed idiot woman getting angry with me & all I wanted to do was look at the water.......in any such case you will never guess which is the first person to drive onto this scene......yep, two cops on a motorcycle .

Anyway, naturally it all got very interesting and at one point the cops were trying to extort money out of me, blaming me for the 'accident', which I can tell you was NO BLOOOODY ACCIDENT! I stood my digs, I remained Polite, calm and firm and after about 30 minutes of negotiations I was allowed to leave the location and I never heard from anyone else ever again.

As for the bike, upon arriving back at my resort I told two of the workers there my 'story' and when they had stopped laughing they organised for the bike to be repaired for 1000 baht & the bike rental shop was none the wiser.......I then spent several months going through rehabilitation for my broken shoulder.

Moral to the story , if your going to fall down the stairs, don't just wear a helmet, wear body armour as well & don't leave you key in your bike .

[jayjayjayjay]

This was my story, which I posted on another thread some time back, but thought it might raise a smile or two here........I still get twinges in that shoulder some days .

I've never had a motorcycle accident, in Thailand.

Many years ago whilst taking a short break in Phuket in the evening after a meal I rode my hire motorcycle towards the resort I was staying at. I decided to stop on a section of road above a small beach to look at the water. I got off the motorcycle and put it on its stand before tripping backwards and falling down a small set of stairs (no I wasnt p1ssed, I dont drink). Anyway fortunately my helmet saved me from head injury but my shoulder was broken in the fall. As I was making my way back up the stairs in a great lot of pain a very intoxicated thai lady decided that she was going to make her way off with my motorcycle, which was still parked at the top of the stairs with the key in the ignition. BARE WITH ME THIS GETS BETTER.

Anyway, hearing the bike start I commenced to run and ran onto the road behind my motorcycle, which the lady had managed to stall but was still rolling downhill away from me. In a last ditch effort to stop her I managed to knock her from the motorcycle causing her and my motorcycle to crash onto the roadway, naturally injuring her & damaging the bike.

So now Ive got a busted shoulder, damaged bike and a p!ssed idiot woman getting angry with me & all I wanted to do was look at the water.......in any such case you will never guess which is the first person to drive onto this scene......yep, two cops on a motorcycle .

Anyway, naturally it all got very interesting and at one point the cops were trying to extort money out of me, blaming me for the 'accident', which I can tell you was NO BLOOOODY ACCIDENT! I stood my digs, I remained Polite, calm and firm and after about 30 minutes of negotiations I was allowed to leave the location and I never heard from anyone else ever again.

As for the bike, upon arriving back at my resort I told two of the workers there my 'story' and when they had stopped laughing they organised for the bike to be repaired for 1000 baht & the bike rental shop was none the wiser.......I then spent several months going through rehabilitation for my broken shoulder.

Moral to the story , if your going to fall down the stairs, don't just wear a helmet, wear body armour as well & don't leave you key in your bike .

Basil Faulty by any chance!

[ThaiPauly]

A while after my Wife and I moved to CM I had occassion to ask her to tell me the Thai for "Where's the Toilet please" in a hotel.

I did this perfectly, only problem was the receptionist thought my Thai was fluent and gave me rapid directions in Thai which of course i did not understand, but rarther than make her think I was a complete idiot, I trotted off in the general direction of the way her arm was pointing and seemed to travel back to our table in a kind of circle.

My Wife remarked on how quick I was ...I had to explain that I had not actually been.

Taught me a lesson...."never ask anything that would bring forth a response that you won't understand" !!!

[Takeo]

For a long time i was following this post, thinking i wish i had a great story for this post, something must have happend while i was here that others would find amusing. Nope i had nothing......until i remembered.

It was a few years back and i was at a bar, its a bit out of the way and you dont see too many tourists there. So anyways i was with some of my thai mates. One of my mates girlfriends mates had taken a liking to me.

So after an enjoyable time at the bar, it was time to leave. She asked me back, all was going well.

We ended up back at her apartment, not too far away, again no problems here. Then it got a bit more heated. Anyways, being the young man i was, i wasnt really thinking i was going to get lucky and hadnt brought any rubber.

Being Thailand thank God there was a 7eleven on the corner. So i put my shirt on said no problem ill go get some, ran down the road, got them fine. Had her small key for the main door, ran up the stairs.... then i had the thought what floor, at this point i was standing on the 3rd floor condoms in hand, with a confused security guard who had been doing his rounds. I though its got to be the 4th floor, so headed up, security guard following slowly. Get up there and again what room, i tried the door i was sure of.

At this point the guard is at the end of his corridor with his flash light as im banging on the door praying it opens. Thank God it opened, only it wasnt who i was expecting, where i had left a young 20 something, this was a women who was pushing her 60s. What a picture my face must have looked.

Id only gone and got the wrong door, i apologised as best i could, and then proceeded with banging on the next door (probably not the best idea to gamble on doors in a building with many).

So i was standing there knocking on a door, with a guard pointing his flashlight at me, it opens, its the right one, ive never dived through a smaller opening. I was in a panic, she was looking at me oblivious to it all.

Had a happy ending.....and i was not longer a virgin

[robbo1]

When I first met my wife we went to a Korean BBQ the first one that I had ever been to.

Anyway we get our food and start cooking after all the food that we got I was absolutely chockers couldnt eat another thing when my now wife says you want more I replied no thanks but get some for your self no probs she came back with the same ammount of food I looked in shock and said you are not full yet her reply was oh yes very full but but 79 Baht.

I nearly fell off the bench in laghter