Any Funny Members Stories About Living In Thailand?

[MAJIC]

Hard to say what my funniest story is,but here goes with one.

It was agreed with my wife prior to the Village wedding that I would put up 100,000 baht for the show Sin Sod,returnable

immediately after the wedding.

Problem was on the day of the wedding I had to make an ATM withdrawal of 40,000 baht,,which was short of the total needed.

So as not to be seen giving the intended Father in Law money my Best Man dealt with this for me.

Turned out later the FIL thought my Best Man had given him a tip,and although I got my 100,000 back,after the party. My

wife told me much later that he and the MIL had spent the following 3 months arguing about where his tip had disappeared.

Still brings on a smile several years later.

[YanTree]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

[YanTree]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

[Mossfinn]

Whilst having a meal beside the river, the wife ordered fresh shrimp salad.

She asked if I wanted to try, I had a quick look and did a double take and said, ' I think there is something moving in the bowl',

'Yes' she responded looking at me in a perplexed way, 'It is fresh shrimp salad'.

Very fresh indeed!

[mca]

When I first met my wife to be we went out with her niece who was Chinese/Thai. Eager to show of my (at the time practically non-existent) Thai language skills I kept calling her what I assumed was the word for a young Chinese girl. I was told later by my now wife (laughing fit to bust) that all evening i'd been calling her niece "pubic hair"

Luckily the niece had seen the funny side too.

[MAJIC]

When I first met my wife to be we went out with her niece who was Chinese/Thai. Eager to show of my (at the time practically non-existent) Thai language skills I kept calling her what I assumed was the word for a young Chinese girl. I was told later by my now wife (laughing fit to bust) that all evening i'd been calling her niece "pubic hair"

Luckily the niece had seen the funny side too.

Have to watch out with the Thai language and the tonal part especially. Apparently "Kun souey" (your Beautiful) said with the wrong tone can mean your ugly.

[roietrory]

Took the wife on a visa run to Laos(her first time leaving Thailand) While filling in the form to enter Laos you had to write Place Of Birth. When my wife came to this bit she looked and me and said HOSPITAL RIGHT. Still cracks me up.

[MAJIC]

Took the wife on a visa run to Laos(her first time leaving Thailand) While filling in the form to enter Laos you had to write Place Of Birth. When my wife came to this bit she looked and me and said HOSPITAL RIGHT. Still cracks me up.

Brilliant.

[tonititan]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

That's funny? I think it's sad and represents one of the things that's wrong with Thailand.

[neverdie]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

I can see the quality of you and your friends, it's overwhelming.

[Sing_Sling]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

That's funny? I think it's sad and represents one of the things that's wrong with Thailand.

With Thailand or some of the foreign scum that come here?

[Spee]

Well ... I always say if you can't laugh at yourself then you have no sense of humor at all.

I was driving back to my house from Phetchabun with my partner's brother. We had eaten about an hour before and had just passed the mountain peak and were on the downward spiral. Then all of the sudden I started to get that urge that we sometimes get after eating, which I can usually control for some time, only this time it came on hard and fast. There was no place to stop and rather than have an accident which would not have been a car accident, I just pulled over on the shoulder and let nature take its course. Besides being embarrassed for being in that situation with my partner's brother right there, and worrying that some snake might bite me in the backside, it seemed like every vehicle that went by was full of males and they were streaming by honking the horn and having a laugh. All I could do was sit there helpless and finish my business as quickly as I could. I'm sure this story has been told and re-told for a good laugh many times in and around the area. If it would have been someone else with me driving by, I'm sure I would have done the same.

[yabaaaa]

Every day!!

[neverdie]

Well ... I always say if you can't laugh at yourself then you have no sense of humor at all.

I was driving back to my house from Phetchabun with my partner's brother. We had eaten about an hour before and had just passed the mountain peak and were on the downward spiral. Then all of the sudden I started to get that urge that we sometimes get after eating, which I can usually control for some time, only this time it came on hard and fast. There was no place to stop and rather than have an accident which would not have been a car accident, I just pulled over on the shoulder and let nature take its course. Besides being embarrassed for being in that situation with my partner's brother right there, and worrying that some snake might bite me in the backside, it seemed like every vehicle that went by was full of males and they were streaming by honking the horn and having a laugh. All I could do was sit there helpless and finish my business as quickly as I could. I'm sure this story has been told and re-told for a good laugh many times in and around the area. If it would have been someone else with me driving by, I'm sure I would have done the same.

Definately sounds like a shitty situation, you were in.

[rabo]

I've been here a while and have a full wife and family package. The family recently brought the father, an aging rural (read village) doctor to Bangkok for medical treatment. While waiting at Phayathai-2, the father decided he needed to visit the restroom, which was on the second floor. Because of his age, we decided to take the lift. Later, back in the waiting room, he looked at everybody and ask with great earnestly, "Why does everyone keep going to stand in that little room, closing the doors, and then coming back out again?" Apparently he had never seen a lift in his life.

My wife asked me not to relate the part about being in the modern restroom.

[StreetCowboy]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

What an unpleasant story. When you read about the crap these ladies have to put up with, it really engenders a sense of sympathy

SC

[StreetCowboy]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

That's funny? I think it's sad and represents one of the things that's wrong with Thailand.

With Thailand or some of the foreign scum that come here?

What an unpleasant story. When you read about the crap these ladies have to put up with, it really engenders a sense of sympathy

SC

[elcent]

I was one of the first aliens living in a village up North. One night there was an earthquake. - "Farang pai hong nam" (went to the bathroom) in the night was the villagers conclusion.

It took them two days to realize that it was an earthquake. Thanks to television.

[Lammbock]

My Story,

When i moved to Thailand 4 years ago i use to say to beautiful Thai girls "Khun Aroi Mak Mak" and they always laughs there heart out of the chest

cause they know that i wanted to say "You are beautiful" but said "You are tasty/yummy"

My Dads Story,

My Dad and his Friend went with there wife to Sathuk for a visit of one of there Father and Mother. As usually a box of Singha is always included.

So both (my dad and his friend) need a pii in the night. The problem is there where no proper light so they couldn't see well.

What they did was to pii out of the window at the first floor but unexpected they make a very loud noise doing there business cause the roof of the

whole house is a "Tin Roof"

So suddenly the next morning the old lady told to everyone that there had a BIG "FON TOK" last night!!!

And my Dad goes (in self defense) "Yes Mam, i recognize that, too. Biiiiiiiig Fon Tok last night"

Edited March 22, 2010 by Lammbock

[Nignoy]

our british army unit were building an airfield in darkest Yasothon province, the local villagers used to pop in to the medical centre with their injuries and ailments ,one morning agroup of thais turned up pushing an injured man on an bloodcovered oxcart, he had has been bitten by cobra one of the men told us, but no worries he proudly explained I chop his foot off, proudly showing us the severed foot in a bucket, after examination we did not have the heart to tell him , his mate had been bitten on the ankle 2 inches above where he had severed the foot

[Lammbock]

our british army unit were building an airfield in darkest Yasothon province, the local villagers used to pop in to the medical centre with their injuries and ailments ,one morning agroup of thais turned up pushing an injured man on an bloodcovered oxcart, he had has been bitten by cobra one of the men told us, but no worries he proudly explained I chop his foot off, proudly showing us the severed foot in a bucket, after examination we did not have the heart to tell him , his mate had been bitten on the ankle 2 inches above where he had severed the foot

<deleted>!!!!

[Sanchez69]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

That's funny? I think it's sad and represents one of the things that's wrong with Thailand.

With Thailand or some of the foreign scum that come here?

What an unpleasant story. When you read about the crap these ladies have to put up with, it really engenders a sense of sympathy

SC

Exactly!!!

[jayjayjayjay]

When I first met my wife to be we went out with her niece who was Chinese/Thai. Eager to show of my (at the time practically non-existent) Thai language skills I kept calling her what I assumed was the word for a young Chinese girl. I was told later by my now wife (laughing fit to bust) that all evening i'd been calling her niece "pubic hair"

Luckily the niece had seen the funny side too.

Have to watch out with the Thai language and the tonal part especially. Apparently "Kun souey" (your Beautiful) said with the wrong tone can mean your ugly.

can mean your unlucky

[manarak]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

Funny behavior of your friend, but terrible treatment of that poor ladyboy.

Why not fork out 100 baht for the taxi and kindly ask the ladyboy to leave?

[manarak]

An old roommate was dating a bar girl and warned her not to go to her former bar on her night off when she was going out with her sisters and friends. He later found her at the bar that night and dumped a full beer on her head in front of her friends and family before leaving. She brought the police back to our place and tried to have him arrested - after questioning my friend they turned to her and said (in Thai) 'He told you not go to to the bar tonight, right?' Case closed. She disobeyed him therefore he had an excuse to assault here. TiT.

That's funny? I think it's sad and represents one of the things that's wrong with Thailand.

These are one of the things that are right in Thailand.

Would you seriously want someone to be arrested over a beer poored over the head of an unfaithful bargirl??

Case closed: the only sensible decision here.

[StreetCowboy]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

Funny behavior of your friend, but terrible treatment of that poor ladyboy.

Why not fork out 100 baht for the taxi and kindly ask the ladyboy to leave?

I suppose its a "funny members" story. Shouldn't be bringing boys home if he doesn't want to play ball...

SC

[yabaaaa]

our british army unit were building an airfield in darkest Yasothon province, the local villagers used to pop in to the medical centre with their injuries and ailments ,one morning agroup of thais turned up pushing an injured man on an bloodcovered oxcart, he had has been bitten by cobra one of the men told us, but no worries he proudly explained I chop his foot off, proudly showing us the severed foot in a bucket, after examination we did not have the heart to tell him , his mate had been bitten on the ankle 2 inches above where he had severed the foot

I declare Nignoy the winner haaahahahahaha

[Farma]

Years ago I arrived in the village just before Lent started. I had a craving for a nice roast pig on a spit.

Early the next morning the brother in law was given 1,000 Baht and tasked with obtaining a live pig. He returned shortly after with 3 as he claimed the owner wouldn’t sell him just 1.That's when the fun started.

He then went down the back yard and proceeded to chop some bamboo to make the spit from. The bamboo fell on the power lines and took out power for half the village. Some lao khao and the neighbors were happy again.

Meanwhile other family members proceeded to store the 2 surplus pigs in a chicken coup near the dam.

BiL then made the spit from the slightly charred bamboo then proceeded to kill the pig. No sooner had he hit it on the head and there was a commotion from the back yard. The other 2 pigs had escaped running straight into the dam and dying of shock.

Those 2 were then butchered and the meat sold to the villagers. Meanwhile the intended pig was slowly roasted on the homemade bamboo spit while everyone sat around drinking.

A good day was had by all and by the time the pig was ready to eat everyone was too drunk to enjoy the meal. Power was restored the following day.

[Forethat]

Years ago I arrived in the village just before Lent started. I had a craving for a nice roast pig on a spit.

Early the next morning the brother in law was given 1,000 Baht and tasked with obtaining a live pig. He returned shortly after with 3 as he claimed the owner wouldn't sell him just 1.That's when the fun started.

He then went down the back yard and proceeded to chop some bamboo to make the spit from. The bamboo fell on the power lines and took out power for half the village. Some lao khao and the neighbors were happy again.

Meanwhile other family members proceeded to store the 2 surplus pigs in a chicken coup near the dam.

BiL then made the spit from the slightly charred bamboo then proceeded to kill the pig. No sooner had he hit it on the head and there was a commotion from the back yard. The other 2 pigs had escaped running straight into the dam and dying of shock.

Those 2 were then butchered and the meat sold to the villagers. Meanwhile the intended pig was slowly roasted on the homemade bamboo spit while everyone sat around drinking.

A good day was had by all and by the time the pig was ready to eat everyone was too drunk to enjoy the meal. Power was restored the following day.

looooooool you could sell tickets to events like this and become financially independent!!! hahhahahahhaahaaaaaaa awesome!!!!

[YanTree]

The other night I was out drinking with a friend who is staying with me, has been living on my couch for a week. He decided to leave the group of girls we were with and me early and head home. When we all got back to my place he was pacing in my living room and asked me to step into the bathroom and verify whether or not the thing he had brought home was born a woman.

When I came back out I said 'do you want to know the truth?'. He said 'say no more' and proceeded to drag it out of my condo by the arm and into the hallway and tell it to fuc_k off and die or something along those lines.

Funny behavior of your friend, but terrible treatment of that poor ladyboy.

Why not fork out 100 baht for the taxi and kindly ask the ladyboy to leave?

I suppose its a "funny members" story. Shouldn't be bringing boys home if he doesn't want to play ball...

SC

He was obviously unaware it was a ladyboy, still trying to teach him how to spot them but it is hard when guys are attracted to tall girls with fake boobs. FWIW I gave it 500 baht and calmed it down before it left the building.