Woman Says Previous Marriage Not Registered

[Colabamumbai]

If a Thai woman tells you that she has 2 children but does not need a divorce certificate because her marriage was not registered with the local office, could this be true, or a lie. She says that whe won't have sex until she is married, so I wonder, she has 2 children and says that she was married before but can marry again, she does not need a divorce because her marriage was never registered. Or is she just applying the rule to me. These are some of the situations that I run into living in LOS. Was she married? Did she have 2 children without marriage? Is she being honest?

I am sure that many people on thaivisaforum will benefit from your experienced replies. Thanks.

[Maestro]

...could this be true, or a lie...

Yes to both questions.

--

Maestro

[Lite Beer]

Moved to General

[Mario2008]

For a Thai the wedding ceremony and not the official marriage is often the most important. If you ask my wife when we were married she will tell you the date of our ceremony, not the date we officially registered it (which was before the ceremony).

[Mosha]

Most Thais in the sticks will only go through the family celebration involve the monks, but the registration is not done. Now how to prove she's telling the truth?

Edited April 5, 2010 by Mosha

[mca]

I did the same as Mario. Registered about 6 months before the actual ceremony.

It's worth bearing in mind the Thai thoughts to some " officialdom "

My wife's friend has been with her " husband " for 15 years with 2 kids. Never registered the marriage. Just a ceremony. In the literal eyes of the law it's not a legal marriage but you're not going to find a Thai who doesn't view them as husband and wife. Similar to biblical times I suppose!

I lived with my wife for a year before marriage and as far as the neighbours were concerned I was her husband not boyfriend despite them knowing I hadn't had a ceremony or signed a marriage certificate. " Khun mca I was talking to your wife the other day..." sort of stuff.

[GuestHouse]

Here's the twist.

Because she wasn't married the liabilities from the marriage that was not are going begging for someone to take on.....

And here's the second twist.

Because she wasn't married the first time you'll get to pay the full never been married, parish virgin sin sod.

To avoid twist number three take a good look around to see if you can spot any blokes that look a bit like the kids from this marriage that was not.

[WinnieTheKhwai]

If she's married she will have 'Mrs.' (Nang / นาง ) on her ID card instead of น.ส. (นางสาว). Easy enough.

My wife and I never registered the marriage either, and we have two kids too. Being in the sticks or not has little to do with it.

Strange to not want to have sex before marriage; that to me is the larger issue. The other one is just administrative.

Because she wasn't married the first time you'll get to pay the full never been married, parish virgin sin sod.

With two kids? That'll be the day.. Either way, it's 'up to him' as they say.

Edited April 5, 2010 by WinnieTheKhwai

[7by7]

You either believe her or you don't.

If you don't believe her then you don't trust her, and if you don't trust her there is no way you should be contemplating marriage to her.

I suggest that you let the relationship develop until you do trust her.

[sarahsbloke]

Was she married? Did she have 2 children without marriage? Is she being honest?

The only answer you can be sure of is that you will never know!

If she's married she will have 'Mrs.' (Nang / นาง ) on her ID card instead of น.ส. (นางสาว). Easy enough.

You're wrong on this one Winnie, having just been married at the amphur office, we went back to get her ID card changed by the same woman who married us a couple of weeks earlier.

She now has my surname but is still "Miss and น.ส.", I asked why this was and was answered, she doesn't have to change her title or her name, up to her.

Edited April 5, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[mca]

Strange to not want to have sex before marriage

Not strange at all Winnie. It'd be rude to keep the temple abbot waiting.

[aussiebebe]

If a Thai woman tells you that she has 2 children but does not need a divorce certificate because her marriage was not registered with the local office, could this be true, or a lie.

Difficult to answer; she's factually well informed that no divorce certificate is necessary for an unregistered 'marriage' or partnership as you might call it. That's true. What remains uncertain is whether she married or not. Either trust her or don't.

To try to answer the question and resolve the uncertainty, you'd need copies of her birth certificate, her children's and copies of her and her ex's ID cards. If you can't read Thai, get them translated and check the names and dates and places of birth; is her ex named as the father? Take the documents to the stated local amphurs and ask them to check. I'm unaware of any national database or national registary for marriages in Thailand.

[dudemeister]

Here's the twist.

Because she wasn't married the liabilities from the marriage that was not are going begging for someone to take on.....

And here's the second twist.

Because she wasn't married the first time you'll get to pay the full never been married, parish virgin sin sod.

To avoid twist number three take a good look around to see if you can spot any blokes that look a bit like the kids from this marriage that was not.

And to avoid any further twists.......

[Colabamumbai]

Here's the twist.

Because she wasn't married the liabilities from the marriage that was not are going begging for someone to take on.....

And here's the second twist.

Because she wasn't married the first time you'll get to pay the full never been married, parish virgin sin sod.

To avoid twist number three take a good look around to see if you can spot any blokes that look a bit like the kids from this marriage that was not.

I Love your sense of humour but you are correct.

[Colabamumbai]

If a Thai woman tells you that she has 2 children but does not need a divorce certificate because her marriage was not registered with the local office, could this be true, or a lie.

Difficult to answer; she's factually well informed that no divorce certificate is necessary for an unregistered 'marriage' or partnership as you might call it. That's true. What remains uncertain is whether she married or not. Either trust her or don't.

To try to answer the question and resolve the uncertainty, you'd need copies of her birth certificate, her children's and copies of her and her ex's ID cards. If you can't read Thai, get them translated and check the names and dates and places of birth; is her ex named as the father? Take the documents to the stated local amphurs and ask them to check. I'm unaware of any national database or national registary for marriages in Thailand.

Am taking notes about everything that you have said thank you.

[bangon04]

You either believe her or you don't.

If you don't believe her then you don't trust her, and if you don't trust her there is no way you should be contemplating marriage to her.

I suggest that you let the relationship develop until you do trust her.

Sorry but had to ask - is this the same lady the OP is planning to give his ATM card and PIN number to in his will already? See the other thread by the OP.

Cynics might say (and often feel the need to say) that it would save the OP a lot of trouble in the long run if he gives her his bank accounts now before they consumate the relationship, thus saving a lot of paperwork and confusion about extra SinSot that may arise very soon. It would save him all the intermediate hassle of building a house and buying a load of land.

[Colabamumbai]

Strange to not want to have sex before marriage

Not strange at all Winnie. It'd be rude to keep the temple abbot waiting.

You have me laughing now.....

[Colabamumbai]

You either believe her or you don't.

If you don't believe her then you don't trust her, and if you don't trust her there is no way you should be contemplating marriage to her.

I suggest that you let the relationship develop until you do trust her.

Sorry but had to ask - is this the same lady the OP is planning to give his ATM card and PIN number to in his will already? See the other thread by the OP.

Cynics might say (and often feel the need to say) that it would save the OP a lot of trouble in the long run if he gives her his bank accounts now before they consumate the relationship, thus saving a lot of paperwork and confusion about extra SinSot that may arise very soon. It would save him all the intermediate hassle of building a house and buying a load of land.

No these are 2 seperate questions as such one is about the lady with 2 children one is just a general question about the 400,000.00. I have many on the go just have not made a decision as who is right for me, and who is just looking for money. I find that many want some garantee before they are willing to have sex and others are just happy to be with me and ask for nothing in return at least so far. It will be a matter of who can put up with who as I am so used to being independent. Thank you.

[givenall]

Moved to General

no sex before marriage sorry can’t stop laughing

[Carib]

No sex..... maybe just pressuring you into marriage this way. A grownup woman, with kids.. come on. If she was never married legally she must have had sex, or is her name virgin mary??

It sounds a bit dodgy to me.

Why get married anyway, no need for that, and she obviously never felt the need for it too, so what made her change her mind??

Oh, is there some guy around she tells you that it is her brother??

Be careful, you are asking for advice so that means something is in the back of your mind already, take care.

Edited April 5, 2010 by Carib

[retiredusn]

It could be that: After the first go-around and two children she wants to ensure a husband before having any more kids........If all is based on sex why get married anyway

[hawthorne]

Anything coming from a lady that is claiming to have had two immaculate conceptions would be ummm trustworthy....she did not say those words but she is aluding to it.

No money no honey = Woman

No sex no marriage = man

you are in doubt now so go with your first instinct. No need to convince yourself that you gut is wrong.

By the way if the woman is not virgin no sin sot so atleast you are safe from paying the marriage tax.

just go on your way. So many wonderful women in Thailand.

[IanForbes]

If you MUST have marriage then I certainly wouldn't pay any sin sod to the family of someone who has already had children... previously married or not. After that it will take a while of living together before you know if you are really compatible. I certainly don't enjoy sex with someone who doesn't like it themselves. I have met many women like that in many different countries. It's not unique to Thailand. Without a compatible sex partner about 70% of the relationship disappears. Without sharing good sex with your partner all you are is an ATM machine.

[givenall]

Ok this is the scenario .

She says no sex before marriage, but she has 2 kids already umm, here it comes:

1. She says she has to get married fast

2. She will ask for her parents 1,000,000 sin sod before they get married….

3. Run as fast as you can, it is no longer April fool day

[sarahsbloke]

In the western world, you spend a lot of time and money getting to know the girl, then you have sex with her.

In Thailand, you have sex with the girl, then you spend time getting to know her.

Go home!

[Colabamumbai]

In the western world, you spend a lot of time and money getting to know the girl, then you have sex with her.

In Thailand, you have sex with the girl, then you spend time getting to know her.

Go home!

I don't need the "go home" comment thank you.

[slapout]

Well the advice to "go home"may seem a bit harsh, but look at your original post, questions, etc. What would you say, if a woman said she wanted 20,000 baht from you, for a poke? (thats about 2 months worth of expense for the additional 3 live in, if you watch expenses) Have you ever asked a woman to marry prior to climbing in the sack, plus throw in that you have 2 rug rats which she can take care, feed, etc once the papers are complete. Did your mother give you permission to leave your homeland and who picked out your attire for today?

[Mario2008]

As the Op has his answers and this is getting into a shouting match , CLOSED.