Girlfriend Has A Drug Problem?

[czGLoRy]

Hey, I have a long time girlfriend here (well over a year now), and I am devastated by her recent actions. She went to Bangkok with some friends and they did a week long "drug binge" about a month and a half ago, and she told me she took "ice" and did not want to take it again and was finished. She has recently been going out and not coming home until the next afternoon and her eyes are glazed over. I am obviously really stressed out while I anxiously wait for her to return (phone is usually turned off) and I am worrying for her more than I have ever worried in my life. I am convinced it is a drug issue and not that she is cheating on me or something else. When I confronted her about it she usually makes up excuses (before she was incredibly honest, told me she had cheated on me once, has always been surprisingly honest), and I have caught her in a lie nearly every time she has not come home. A few days ago when she did not return she told me she was with her friend who did take ice, and she wanted to take it herself, but she did not.

A bit of a rant, but I am pretty convinced she is using some sort of amphetamines, she is staying out all night and coming home in the afternoon. She has glazed over eyes, is very moody, and has lost weight. She was mildy depressed before hand (which may have lead her to try it in the first place), but it seems a lot worse now. She is/has always been very reluctant to go to a hospital about anything.

What can I do? I am suffering from her problem far more than she is (at least right now, I know that will change shortly), but leaving her sounds like it would benefit me, but leave her trapped and likely to accelerate her problem. Are there any Thai hotlines that could convince her to seek help? Any advice? What can I do? I am pretty crushed, I really like the girl and I know she likes me as well, but drugs can change everything.

[britmaveric]

Well until she realizes there is a problem she will not change. I suggest giving consequences to her actions such as giving her the boot. Obviously she needs new mates because these ones are only going to continue the situation or make it worse.

Personally I would send her packing -can you imagine if drugs are ever found in your place by the BIB? You realize what sort of trouble you would be in.

Edited April 19, 2010 by britmaveric

[tb86]

hard thing man, gotta try and help, but at the end of the day you need to draw the line, and be ready to change the locks and walk away.... unfortunatly this is how it works out sometimes, no matter how much you love them

[NADTATIDA1]

I think you should leave her as quick as mate.also what you have got to understand is there is probably a guy supplying her and leeching your money off her as well,if you do leave her cut all contact and do not tell her where you are going,very sad situation but as she has cheated on you already and lies regularly....what is there to do but move on,who wants a lieing cheating drug addict as a partner anyway??

[torrenova]

Well until she realizes there is a problem she will not change. I suggest giving consequences to her actions such as giving her the boot. Obviously she needs new mates because these ones are only going to continue the situation or make it worse.

Personally I would send her packing -can you imagine if drugs are ever found in your place by the BIB? You realize what sort of trouble you would be in.

Cannot agree more. Bin her, dump her and cut her out of your life. Change your phone number if necessary. Do not see her again.

She has cheated on you, admitted using drugs over a whole week, not just a one off when out and you are making excuses for her behaviour ? Get real and get out. She is on drugs and there is no good that can come of it.

If you live in Thailand then you know more than well enough what could happen to you.

[samuibeachcomber]

firstly your g/f has to recognise the problem and want to change.If she does then i would take her to some other place in thailand where she does n't know anyone, and there you could seek treatment if its necessary,perhaps all thats needed is a change of scenery.good luck,hope it all works out.If she does n't want your help then best to move on yourself.

[britmaveric]

PM simon43 - he went through this with his now ex-wife. I believe it nearly ruined him.

[davee58]

So let's look at the facts:

1. Long time girlfriend

2. Went to Bangkok with some friends a week long "drug binge"

Duh! where were you, are you not her friend

3. She took "ice"

The least of your problems

4. Recently been going out and not coming home until the next afternoon

Why are you left out again?

5. I am worrying for her more than I have ever worried in my life.

Too late, you are her sad poodle..

6. I am convinced it is a drug issue and not that she is cheating on me

Why fool yourself

7. Before she was incredibly honest, told me she had cheated on me

Told you that she was a cheating b*tch, yeh sure, that makes her honest

8. A few days ago when she did not return she told me she was with her friend

And who is her real "friend"

What can I do?

No choice, you know yourself.

Been in a similar situation myself, all the signs are there but you choose to ignore them.

Just get the hel_l out of there now, there is nothing left. If there are problems, they are her problems.

Good Luck!

[thaigerd]

PM simon43 - he went through this with his now ex-wife. I believe it nearly ruined him.

Perfect idea, I thought the same!

Gerd

[sarahsbloke]

You are almost certainly living with a working girl.

Some guys can take it, but I wouldn't, I don't care about a girls past ..... but what they do now does bother me.

PS

Not so worried about the drugs, who doesn't?

[Soutpeel]

Let me ask this question......Would you put up with this with a GF from your own country ??... answer that question and you have your answer...

SB....where in the story does the OP say she is a "working girl" ??....assumptions and genralisations....

[Will27]

Yep,

She sounds like a "keeper".

I know you're only young but why do guys keep

putting up with this type of behaviour?

Lying, cheating drug user.

Missed anything out?

And of course, there will be an avalanche of guys

defending her behaviour and telling you to "stick

by her, she needs help etc etc etc".

In reality, you only have one option and I think

you know what that is.

Regards

Will

[Shotime]

firstly your g/f has to recognise the problem and want to change.If she does then i would take her to some other place in thailand where she does n't know anyone, and there you could seek treatment if its necessary,perhaps all thats needed is a change of scenery.good luck,hope it all works out.If she does n't want your help then best to move on yourself.

I'm not sure how long this has been going on, and I'm not sure I believe the story. Who's GF goes out all night? That's enough reason to get away from her.

Those drugs are very expensive. Where's she getting the money? Is it every night?

I agree with the above. If she wants to stop, going somewhere where she knows no one may help. Otherwise, you're in a no-win situation. Disappear.

[sokal]

You allow your GF to go on all night drug binges ?

I would have had her stuff packed and outside with the locks changed on my place if my GF did that but thats just me.

[bangkoklight]

Leave her you fool! Move house/condo or even city, and get a new number. She's using you big time. And one year is not a long relationship. She love you long time lor?

[metisdead]

[czGLoRy]

I am deciding between leaving her immediately and trying to help her as much as I can before I do. I know its a bad situation for me.

She went to Bangkok for a week to see her friends OBVIOUSLY I did not know she would be trying drugs, and she was always upfront and would not lie to me about seeing another man I believe, not that it is important, I am not worried about that, especially since I am going to be leaving her.

What I was looking for is some sort of hotline, a treatment center where I could get an evaluation, or something like that. I don't want to immediately leave her (which I believe would crush her) while she is in the midst of being rooted in a drug habit. I want to be able to help her before I go.

Edited April 20, 2010 by czGLoRy

[sokal]

I am deciding between leaving her immediately and trying to help her as much as I can before I do. I know its a bad situation for me.

She went to Bangkok for a week to see her friends OBVIOUSLY I did not know she would be trying drugs, and she was always upfront and would not lie to me about seeing another man I believe, not that it is important, I am not worried about that, especially since I am going to be leaving her.

What I was looking for is some sort of hotline, a treatment center where I could get an evaluation, or something like that. I don't want to immediately leave her (which I believe would crush her) while she is in the midst of being rooted in a drug habit. I want to be able to help her before I go.

I think the faster you leave the harder it will hit home for her. Its probably the best thing you could do to help her. She is just going to try and suck you back into the relationship, don't fall for it. She is probably just another hopeless drug case so just write her off.

[Tonto21]

All the reply say the same “mag to grid”…. Get rid!

You my friend do not know the hel_l you’re teetering on the edge of. My daughter at 16 fell in love with this lad, turned out he was a smack head, (Heroin) Long story short! Thank God she never got to using, it took a long time to get her away from him, that was 8 years ago.

Having now experienced the fall out of someone on hard drugs, my advice is to get tough, lose the emotions and get shot of her and stay shot! She will, if on hard drugs take her own mother to the cleaners and do anything to get her own way.

You are not in movie, some love story about a boy who stood by his addicted girlfriend, and helped her get better! My daughter has told me many times how she even now, feels such a fool that she though she could have helped her ex. Get out, cut all contact.

Edited April 20, 2010 by Tonto21

[OxfordWill]

ice is the worst of them all - you should say your goodbyes or prepare for a long and heart wrenching series of events which have a very slim chance of working out for your good.

[givenall]

Cannot agree more. Bin her, dump her and cut her out of your life. Change your phone number if necessary. Do not see her again.

She has cheated on you, admitted using drugs over a whole week, not just a one off when out and you are making excuses for her behaviour ? Get real and get out. She is on drugs and there is no good that can come of it.

If you live in Thailand then you know more than well enough what could happen to you.

Good advice dump her fast and no forwarding address. Also it is impossible to get addicted by one time drug binge. She probably had history and you did not know

[gotlost]

EXIT STAGE RIGHT and NOT look back.

[neverdie]

People with drug problems often deceive those closest to them the most, the very people who trust them the most.

Sorry, I have seen to many problems from people with drug related issues, both legal and illegal substance abuse.

Leg it while you can and don't look back.

[saintofsilence]

I am deciding between leaving her immediately and trying to help her as much as I can before I do. I know its a bad situation for me.

She went to Bangkok for a week to see her friends OBVIOUSLY I did not know she would be trying drugs, and she was always upfront and would not lie to me about seeing another man I believe, not that it is important, I am not worried about that, especially since I am going to be leaving her.

What I was looking for is some sort of hotline, a treatment center where I could get an evaluation, or something like that. I don't want to immediately leave her (which I believe would crush her) while she is in the midst of being rooted in a drug habit. I want to be able to help her before I go.

Why try and be a white knight it would be a complete waste of time and would just cost you heaps of money and you could never trust her again. Thai girls have enough support if they want it from family and friends.

[czGLoRy]

I understand all this and I am leaving. I am leaving the country for a few months in about a week, and thats when it is ending. I am looking for someone I can get her in contact with who can help her. She has basically withdrawn from her family entirely, so she doesn't really have them to fall back on. I think without some sort of support from a clinic or something she is pretty doomed, but apparently there is nothing like that. I am in the chiang mai area fwiw.

[NADTATIDA1]

I understand all this and I am leaving. I am leaving the country for a few months in about a week, and thats when it is ending. I am looking for someone I can get her in contact with who can help her. She has basically withdrawn from her family entirely, so she doesn't really have them to fall back on. I think without some sort of support from a clinic or something she is pretty doomed, but apparently there is nothing like that. I am in the chiang mai area fwiw.

There is a sponsor on this forum named Channah,i noticed it on this page!!

I would get out mate in all seriousness,as you say even her family has lost patience with her that must tell you something because a thais family is the be all and end all.

Good luck with your new life.

[michskip]

too bad for you mate. there is absolutly nothing you can do. she is obviously used to lie [ and the best way to do so is to , now and then tell the truth with deep regrets attitude: then the liar get the "victim" confidence] if she is to go out and come back the next day then you can be sure there is a guy - probably the dealer.

sorry to tell you that 1 year is nothing for certain girls as long as the "loved" tirak, sponsor can take the bullshit and give support [money].

this is the best scenario. the real bad one is the one where she is really addict to ice or yaba. I 've known quite a few girls in that case, and their boyfriends, family, couldn't help. on the contrary they even ended up fearing them and closing everything valuable.

There is plenty of nice, healthy, well educated [ and fun too!] girls in l.o.s to poison your life with a story that only can go worst.

[Daewoo]

czGLoRy,

Sorry you aren't getting any answers around the questions that you specifically asked about what support services may be available. Maybe you can try the Hospitals or NGOs in Chiang Mai... I am sure they are active there, there is a lot of support from foreign donors that is always linked to either catching foreign pedofiles, or helping with drug adiction and AIDS prevention/treatment.

I understand that you are just trying to do what you can to help before you go, and you know that this isn't a workable situation...

My only word of advice is make sure you use protection for any goodbye sex... I can't believe that once stoned she would have been untouched by other men... that isn't how it works, and priority number 1 needs to be you protecting yourself...

Good Luck,

Cheers,

Daewoo

[bifftastic]

Just checked the Channah banner and it doesn't work! here's their website http://www.channahthailand.com/

Hope it helps.

Good luck

[bamboozled]

I understand if you love her you want to try and help her and to do what is right. If not, you will remain with a guilty conscience, especially if things turn out for the worse. I would feel the same way in your shoes, even though things seem pretty dire and the chance of a happy ending is slim. In fact, I don't think you getting out of here will be so easy. My ex tried to kill herself when I broke up with her (manipulation) and she wasn't on drugs. Hopefully, I'm wrong about your gf. At any rate, I would try and find any help/contact info/literature/group info and put it where she can see it. If you talk to her about it she will probably become angry and suspicious. I don't think you should tell her you are leaving or she will manipulate you into a very bad place. As harsh as it is, you should wait until she is away....wherever that may be....and slip out "in the middle of the night" so to speak. She will never let you go any other way without fighting tooth and nail and harming both you and herself. You have to think of self-preservation. Giving her the correct information about treatment if she wants it is the best you can do. The rest should be about saving yourself. If she is really hooked on drugs her conscience will not exist so you are not dealing with a rational person. Remember that.

Chok Dee.