What Is The Toughest Thing You Have Faced In Life?

[AsiaWolfie]

sometimes its a pity that there is little chance to meet people from here in real life..... I think I could spend hours and nights talking to some of u guys..... its one of the best threads i have seen in TV so far..... and yes, makes me feel a little bit more humble again.....

[AsiaWolfie]

oh I forgot, THETYIM, mind to share your story about the one who terrorised you and threated you with a gun ? I think , its not uncommon in LOS, unfortunately, especially if you dare to start some business......

[kayo]

I've never had cancer or diagnosed with a fatal disease, never lost a best friend, never been through a divorce, never seen somebody I know killed, never been badly beaten up, never been sexually abused, never lost a child and never had an accident that would affect the rest of my life.

I moan a lot about lonliness, misfortune and being in the wrong place at the wrong time but when it comes down to it I know that compared to many I am lucky, I have my health, a good mind and my freedom.

My life has been difficult at times and very very complicated, I've had more than my fair share of rejection and misfortune and I have no focus or security.

 

I lost my foster father to cancer and my biological mother to alcoholism and I've never felt a true part of a family, but I've also had a very interesting life and have had lots of experience that I wouldn't have had if I were settled with a mortgage and kids.

So I try, no matter how hard it is at times, to remain positive because to not be positive and constantly complain about life instead of continuing to make a go of it would only be an insult to the likes of Spee and the members of this forum who have been through the real bad bad times such as the examples above, which I hope I never have to go through.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

One of your best, Scamp.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Agreed Scamp.

Well written.

Thank you for sharing the above.

[BambinA]

change my life... from boy to girl

welldone

[The Gentleman Scamp]

Self obsession and hunger for approval aside...

I do have my occasional moments of clarity.

[mpdkorat]

THAIVISA has somehow strict rules.....so I wonder why they cannot ban such psychopaths as CHOWNAH forever.....there are many other boards where those people can post their nonsense....but please keep TV free of such a rubbish....

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Sorry did I miss something.

Why is Chownah a Psychopath ?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I missed that too.

Chownah if you really are a psychopath you are invited to my dinner party with Hinge and Bracket and The Gentleman Scamp. Bring a bottle of wine and an open razor.

[mpdkorat]

I feel a little left out here. I have never had a major problem that I have not been able to cope with. Not that I have not had any problems, it's just that they have not affected me.

I shot someone (UK)

My friend was shot three times for having sex with his neighbor wife. I was there. (Thailand)

Nearly died in Motor cycle accident. (Thailand)

Lost three lots of savings, now working on the new life, hope this is the last time. (UK/Thailand)

My monkey died 8 months ago in an accident in the home involving a collapsible chair. (Thailand)

It IS affecting me. I feel it all starting to poor out. Thank you guys.

[kat]

Hi Kat,

I think you hit the nail on the head when you said keep things in perspective. One of the things that got me through chemo was seeing younger people than me and little children suffering through much worse cancers than me, with a strong likelihood that they were probably going to die and I was probably going to be okay. I didn't feel quite so bad off after that, and though I was still pretty sick, I actually felt rather lucky and fortunate.

Strange as it sounds, I like to quote movies for things in life. Old man Hyman Roth was right in the Godfather Part II movie when he said to Michael Corleone: "Good health is the most important thing!" If you have your health and the thought that tommorrow is coming and will be better than today, then you are all set.

You said that you took a chance on a new job. That tells me right away that you have the guts and moxy to take on and succeed in new challenges. The fact that have tried it at least once says that you always had it in you. So you can take on and succeed in this latest challenge.

One of my favorite real person quotes is from Thomas Edison who said "Opportunity is overlooked by most people because it comes dressed in overalls and looks like work." You don't seem like the kind of person who would resist new opportunity just because there may be a little work involved.

I hope you have found the inner strength to get you through your tough spot. I hope that your strength, perseverance and perspective will carry you through to that next high plateau in your life and keep you there for a long time!

Chok dee mahk!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thanks a lot, Spee By the way, I like to quote movies as well. One of my favorites is by the character Ratso in Midnight Cowboy: "hey, I'm walkin'here, I'm WALKING here!" But that's a bit off topic

I've never had cancer or diagnosed with a fatal disease, never lost a best friend, never been through a divorce, never seen somebody I know killed, never been badly beaten up, never been sexually abused, never lost a child and never had an accident that would affect the rest of my life.

I moan a lot about lonliness, misfortune and being in the wrong place at the wrong time but when it comes down to it I know that compared to many I am lucky, I have my health, a good mind and my freedom.

My life has been difficult at times and very very complicated, I've had more than my fair share of rejection and misfortune and I have no focus or security.

 

I lost my foster father to cancer and my biological mother to alcoholism and I've never felt a true part of a family, but I've also had a very interesting life and have had lots of experience that I wouldn't have had if I were settled with a mortgage and kids.

So I try, no matter how hard it is at times, to remain positive because to not be positive and constantly complain about life instead of continuing to make a go of it would only be an insult to the likes of Spee and the members of this forum who have been through the real bad bad times such as the examples above, which I hope I never have to go through.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well said.

[Dragonman]

I feel a little left out here. I have never had a major problem that I have not been able to cope with. Not that I have not had any problems, it's just that they have not affected me.

I shot someone (UK)

My friend was shot three times for having sex with his neighbor wife. I was there. (Thailand)

Nearly died in Motor cycle accident. (Thailand)

Lost three lots of savings, now working on the new life, hope this is the last time. (UK/Thailand)

My monkey died 8 months ago in an accident in the home involving a collapsible chair. (Thailand)

It IS affecting me. I feel it all starting to poor out. Thank you guys.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

You have my sympathies with everything except the monkey! Never felt the same way about them since one urinated over me at Bristol Zoo

[Tornado]

I have had many a conversation over the years with people that have bad things happen to them, lets face it we all have our own stories.

what I get out of these stories is that it doesnt matter how bad your life was/is, someone always has their own story. I suppose what Im trying to say is - everyones own personal story is the worst, as you have never lived in the skin of the other and what is really bad in someone elses life, wont come close to your own, as you have never experienced it.

just a light ramble, maybe I should post my own story.

[Thomas_Merton]

I have had many a conversation over the years with people that have bad things happen to them, lets face it we all have our own stories.

what I get out of these stories is that it doesnt matter how bad your life was/is, someone always has their own story. I suppose what Im trying to say is - everyones own personal story is the worst, as you have never lived in the skin of the other and what is really bad in someone elses life, wont come close to your own, as you have never experienced it.

just a light ramble, maybe I should post my own story.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your are into something here, Tornado, but I would take it one step further.

We all have our stories, some, on the surface appearing worse than others, but what gives the stories significance is how those involved treat the experience.

There are those who can suffer the most abominable tragedies, yet still live through them with a smile on their lips, whilst others can loose something of apparent insignificance and end up having a nervous breakdown.

Perhaps strength can be found in remembering a lesson from LOS – as the Buddha says in three of the four Noble truths:

1. The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad. Instead, Buddhism explains how suffering can be avoided and how we can be truly happy.

2. The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want, etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness. A lifetime of wanting and craving and especially the craving to continue to exist, creates a powerful energy which causes the individual to be born. So craving leads to physical suffering because it causes us to be reborn.

3. The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free. We then have more time and energy to help others. This is Nirvana.

[dr_strangelove]

Kat... one more person with same situation... I took up a job in Bangkok dropping 3 other offers and ended up getting sacked... No more works in pipeline..^%$. Its just 2 months in LOS and as my signature says... I just learned to stop worrying and started loving bkk... lol... and now... I'm flying back... End of Chapter 3...What's next... Episode IV "A New Hope"

Even I do quote lots of lines from movie... and main ones.. out of topic.. but worth mentioning in this thread i guess...

" Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin"

Shawshank redemption

"life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get"

"Stupid is as stupid does"

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is"

"You've always got to put the past behind you before you can move on"

Forrest Gump

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man"

Taxi Driver

" You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its... stupidity. Even your Buddha and your Christ had different ideas, but nobody seemed to want to listen to them. Not even the Buddhists or the Christians. " K-Pax

and a single word.. "Rosebud...".... How many of you have faced this rosebud symptoms in life??

Toughest thing I hv faced in life.. : To live like an ordinary decent human being in this world.

[kat]

I have had many a conversation over the years with people that have bad things happen to them, lets face it we all have our own stories.

what I get out of these stories is that it doesnt matter how bad your life was/is, someone always has their own story. I suppose what Im trying to say is - everyones own personal story is the worst, as you have never lived in the skin of the other and what is really bad in someone elses life, wont come close to your own, as you have never experienced it.

just a light ramble, maybe I should post my own story.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your are into something here, Tornado, but I would take it one step further.

We all have our stories, some, on the surface appearing worse than others, but what gives the stories significance is how those involved treat the experience.

There are those who can suffer the most abominable tragedies, yet still live through them with a smile on their lips, whilst others can loose something of apparent insignificance and end up having a nervous breakdown ...

... This is Nirvana.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes TM, I follow your reasoning, but as human beings we are all vulnerable at some point in our lives, or have some linchpin holding it all together that we never knew was there. Something happens, and suddenly even the strongest among us can be haunted by self-doubt, regret, or whatever it is that the linchpin held back. Maybe some of us are strong in some ways and not in others - part of the varied humanity that can make life blissful, a blur, or he//-on-earth. One thing I've never done is to feel so above it all that I judge people who are institutionally or casually deemed "crazy" or weak, because as Tornado mentioned, there is so little that we know about the experiences on that person's journey through life. The older and stronger I get in life, the more I realize how much I don't know and that real strength is revealed through vulnerability. I also think that as you get older you should also get younger at the same time (as Gandhi has said). I'd like to add that the stronger you are the more comfortable you are with your own imperfections.

And about Nirvana: the funny thing about this concept is that you can attain it, but the moment you start living in the material, physical realm again - that is loving, fcking, attaching, detaching, desiring, not desiring, etc - you lose it. But, how can we not live in this realm, when we are all human beings on Earth? It seems to me the only way to actually maintain Nirvana is to detach from everything including your fellow human beings and live as a monk in a monastery. However, that doesn't even work for many of them, either. Quite frankly, I think as a philosophy the concept of non-attachment is a good spiritual brain-teaser, but not really the answer to navigating a life as a human being.

It's not my intent to insult anyone, just my own personal thoughts.

Kat... one more person with same situation... I took up a job in Bangkok dropping 3 other offers and ended up getting sacked... No more works in pipeline..^%$. Its just 2 months in LOS and as my signature says... I just learned to stop worrying and started loving bkk... lol... and now... I'm flying back...  End of Chapter 3...What's next... Episode IV "A New Hope"

Even I do quote lots of lines from movie... and main ones.. out of topic.. but worth mentioning in this thread i guess...

" Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

"Get busy livin' or get busy dyin"

Shawshank redemption

"life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get"

"Stupid is as stupid does"

"I'm not a smart man, but I know what love is"

"You've always got to put the past behind you before you can move on"

Forrest Gump

"Loneliness has followed me my whole life, everywhere. In bars, in cars, sidewalks, stores, everywhere. There's no escape. I'm God's lonely man"

Taxi Driver

" You humans, most of you, subscribe to this policy of an eye for an eye, a life for a life, which is known throughout the universe for its... stupidity. Even your Buddha and your Christ had different ideas, but nobody seemed to want to listen to them. Not even the Buddhists or the Christians. " K-Pax

and a single word.. "Rosebud..."....    How many of you have faced this rosebud symptoms in life??

Toughest thing I hv faced in life.. : To live like an ordinary decent human being in this world. 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

55555 We should start a movie club, or a movie quote service, for people who are burnt out in LOS. Too bad you're going back.

Edited June 25, 2005 by kat

[dr_strangelove]

55555    We should start a movie club, or a movie quote service, for people who are burnt out in LOS.  Too bad you're going back.

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movie quote service... Mr Merton already started it... ..lol... And I am not going back that easily... gonna stay here for one more month until my visa is over... and see who has got projects...almost got few freelance jobs... but wp stuff i gotta sort it out... when I heard no more job from next month, first thing that came into my mind was to fly back home and hibernate for few months... (In our industry no one sleeps)..lol.. then I changed my mind.. Without swimming against the tidem, life will look so dull to me.

I have a small belief.. Challenges and failures are the golden opportunities to strengthen yourself.

Thought of the day...

Who is more corrupted?? A 2 year old kid or a 40 year old man? But for some reason we all prefer to look at elders and follow their path... thats one strange thing I have noticed in life... Any comments???

[kat]

Maybe age 2 is the pinnacle, because by 5 it's all over

[dr_strangelove]

Maybe age 2 is the pinnacle, because by 5 it's all over 

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5??? I am hearing 3 year old kids, instead of singing a b c d or jack and jill.. usin all kinds of 4 letter words.... though its so funny to hear a small kid saying "#### you" .. its hard to digest that at this age itself... god...

[Spee]

I have a small belief.. Challenges and failures are the golden opportunities to strengthen yourself.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Or .....

"That which doesn't kill me makes me stronger."

Thought of the day... 

Who is more corrupted?? A 2 year old kid or a 40 year old man? But for some reason we all prefer to look at elders and follow their path...

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Children are the innocents. By age 40 most men have made more mistakes than any thousands of children. Reminds me of .... In the movie "Gladiator" when Richard Harris' character says to his son (Joaquin Phoenix) "Your failure as a son are my failures as a father." Children are the products of the parents in more ways than just biological.

As for the elders .... it reminds me of an old Richard Pryor skit when he plays his old man character. The line goes something like this ....

Young man: You ain't nothing but an old fool.

Old man: Don't get to be old by bein' no fool. Lotta young wise men, they deader than a m*therf*cker!"

[kayo]

As for the elders .... it reminds me of an old Richard Pryor skit when he plays his old man character. The line goes something like this ....

Young man: You ain't nothing but an old fool.

Old man: Don't get to be old by bein' no fool. Lotta young wise men, they deader than a m*therf*cker!"

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[kat]

... The line goes something like this ....

Young man: You ain't nothing but an old fool.

Old man: Don't get to be old by bein' no fool. Lotta young wise men, they deader than a m*therf*cker!"

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Vintage Richary Pryor is the best

[Neeranam]

QUOTE(dr_strangelove @ 2005-06-25 17:23:05)

I have a small belief.. Challenges and failures are the golden opportunities to strengthen yourself.

I like that. I have a huge belief in that.

The toughest thing I have ever faced in my life so far has been quitting a 2 bottles of Thai whisky a day+ 200mg of valium habit of 5 years, and clearing up the chaos that went with that. The booze was eay, but years later I still suffer from the valium withdrawal, man it is even worse than heroin, and lasted for years.

Edited June 26, 2005 by Neeranam

[alex100]

Spent 10 days in prison in Saudi Arabia in 1990 I was driving a Hiace Mini Bus I was waiting at a red light when a Saudi ran into the back of me - he was not wearing a seat belt he went straight through the windscreen of his Lincoln town car a burst his head open on the back of the Hiace. In prsion the guards kept telling me I was in for the chop for murder. Got out after 10 days companies insurance paid the money to the family.

[Kerryd]

Well, I was going to write about an incident that occurred in my youth, that did have a profound effect on my life.

Then I realized, this is the internet ! Anything I write here could be/will be viewed by who knows how many people ? Some of those people would love to collect juicy bits of information about other people, to possibly be used at a later date.

There was a thread here recently, about someone who posted something on this forum. Another member took that post (apparently edited it) and sent it to the OP's employer, trying to get him fired for no apparent reason.

So, to make a long story short. When I was young, something happened. It affected me, and since then I have become a lot less trusting towards people.

[gburns57au]

While there are some very good posts here.....each individual has a story while not as horrific or dramatic as some, has still had a profound effect on that person.

I have had a varied life but have managed to steer clear of anything major....well anything that involved going to jail or being charged with anything...

I have lost mates to cancer, my father to heart disease at a young age, I have had friends who were killed in accidents, suicided or murdered. My mother tried to suicide 3 times after a failed sex attack on her in a public toilet in the UK when I was about 9yo, My sister and I had to drag her head out of the oven on one occasion.

But none of these things affected me as much as the Thai girl who I loved and trusted so much betraying me....the hardest thing I have had to do was write the letter ending the relationship. This has left me feeling very wary to all Thai girls that I meet and develop affection for, but now I have met a Thai girl that I hope will help me get over this although it is sometimes hard to put aside these feelings of mistrust, I know that I have to in order to maintain a successful relationship.

I can see all sorts of misjustice, physical harm etc.....but it is the affairs of the heart that have the most profound effect on me.

[Old Croc]

While there are some very good posts here.....each individual has a story while not as horrific or dramatic as some, has still had a profound effect on that person.

I have had a varied life but have managed to steer clear of anything major....well anything that involved going to jail or being charged with anything...

I have lost mates to cancer, my father to heart disease at a young age, I have had friends who were killed in accidents, suicided or murdered. My mother tried to suicide 3 times after a failed sex attack on her in a public toilet in the UK when I was about 9yo, My sister and I had to drag her head out of the oven on one occasion.

But none of these things affected me as much as the Thai girl who I loved and trusted so much betraying me....the hardest thing I have had to do was write the letter ending the relationship. This has left me feeling very wary to all Thai girls that I meet and develop affection for, but now I have met a Thai girl that I hope will help me get over this although it is sometimes hard to put aside these feelings of mistrust, I know that I have to in order to maintain a successful relationship.

I can see all sorts of misjustice, physical harm etc.....but it is the affairs of the heart that have the most profound effect on me.

Good post Burnsy. I was on the thread at the same time as you trying to verbalise my life and times. I chickened out. Perhaps not the best, or safest place for me.

[OlRedEyes]

The only certainty in the universe: What is, will change.

10 Years ago, a solid life. Career built up over many years, security, 15 year marriage, 3 homes, cars, boats, the lot.

Then, slowly at first, the dominoes start tumbling. Long story involving divorce, financial setbacks, retrenchment, politcal upheaval, deaths. Pressure builds. Two years of watching loved ones betray you. The harder you fight to stop the slide, the more slippery the slope gets.

One day you stand in a darkened room, about to throw away a lifetime of moral values. Revenge. You have lived with the stench of death in your nostrils for months. It sits on your shoulder like a clinging, parasitic leech. You ask yorself, what will you gain. Revenge is sweet, they say. but what use if you are dead. You walk. leaving everything. A lifetime of morals, lived at sometimes great cost to yourself, for what, to throw it all away in the final moments of your life? Thats stupid.

So you start again, or try. In a new country. not so easy when youre not young anymore. Absolutely broke. Nobody knows you, or trusts you. Hard to regain a living income from that position. But with determination it can be done. Always. Never stop. All things change. The wheel had turned. it will turn again

[Spee]

.....but it is the affairs of the heart that have the most profound effect on me.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Your story makes me think of a couple of things.

- I remember talking with one of my brothers and I said, "I've never been scared of anything in my life, but I'm very worried about growing old alone." Maybe you feel the same way. I wish you as much luck as I wish for myself.

- I remember reading once where someone asked Sec of State Colin Powell whom he highly respected. Powell said Dr. Martin Luther King. The followup question was how could he respect a pacifist when he himself was a warrior. Powell replied with something to effect of "I don't judge people by my standards. I judge them by their own." Its sounds to me like you have pretty high standards.

Again, best of luck to you!

[gburns57au]

Good post Burnsy. I was on the thread at the same time as you trying to verbalise my life and times. I chickened out. Perhaps not the best, or safest place for me.

Thanks ....I had second thoughts before pressing the send button.

[gburns57au]

.....but it is the affairs of the heart that have the most profound effect on me.

Your story makes me think of a couple of things.

- I remember talking with one of my brothers and I said, "I've never been scared of anything in my life, but I'm very worried about growing old alone." Maybe you feel the same way. I wish you as much luck as I wish for myself.

Yes....that is one of my biggest fears....

- I remember reading once where someone asked Sec of State Colin Powell whom he highly respected. Powell said Dr. Martin Luther King. The followup question was how could he respect a pacifist when he himself was a warrior. Powell replied with something to effect of "I don't judge people by my standards. I judge them by their own." Its sounds to me like you have pretty high standards.

I dont have high standards in the type of person I form a relationship with....but I do have high standards in what I expect of the person I have the relationship with.....If I commit myself to a relationship then I expect the other person to do the same. I guess all I am looking for is someone who is loyal and trustworthy...a bit hard when your previous trust was kicked out of the window. But I havent given up on the Thai ladies, I still reckon that if I find the right one, then it will all be worthwhile and this time I hope I have....

Again, best of luck to you!

Thank you and also to you too

[baht&sold]

But with determination it can be done. Always. Never stop. All things change. The wheel had turned. it will turn again

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Well said OlRed, nice one.

Croc, I'm chicken too! Shall we?

Gburns, good post.

Actually, anyone's comments posted here is quite brave and possibly others can learn from them- well done all round.

I must confess, I haven't had a chance to read this topic except for this page but will do now.