Thai Girlfriend Is Pregnant And I Want Baby Born In England

[LT3]

Hello all! OK so here's the story, I'm 28 years old and from England, I've been in Thailand for 9/10 months and my Thai girlfriend is pregnant! I'm over the moon but im left with somewhat of a prediciment! I want the baby to be born in england so when older it will have a full English passport thus making traveling around the globe easier (visas e.t.c.) also I intened to marry before baby is born! She's two months gone already and I know she cant fly after 24 weeks (or something like that) so my questions are these:_

1: How easy/difficult will it be for my significant other to obtain a visa?

2: How long should I ask for the visa for?

3: How long does the baby have to be born for before it can fly back to Thailand?

4: Will it damage her visa application if they know she is pregnant?

5: I'm sure I will have to pay for the delivery in England but does anyone know how much it will cost?

I'm sure there are other questions that I should be asking but really cant think of what right now! Any other advice anyone can give me will be greatly appricated!

[Lite Beer]

The baby can be born in Thailand and have a full English Passport as well as a Thai one.

[Mario2008]

If you were born in the UK your child will also be a Brit, as well as Thai.

[maccaroni man]

honestly if your only concern is citizenship dont worry, as others have posted land air or sea the baby will be a brit as long as you are. the thing to think about is the gf and her family, typically this is a time when the mother and daughter stay together and care for the new born child, thais rarley put the kid in a crib in an other room as is the western custom, thais will sleep with the child and mind for it 24/7 so when you push for the gf to relocate b4 birth imho you are opening a bad can of worms.

[LT3]

honestly if your only concern is citizenship dont worry, as others have posted land air or sea the baby will be a brit as long as you are. the thing to think about is the gf and her family, typically this is a time when the mother and daughter stay together and care for the new born child, thais rarley put the kid in a crib in an other room as is the western custom, thais will sleep with the child and mind for it 24/7 so when you push for the gf to relocate b4 birth imho you are opening a bad can of worms.

OK so if the baby gets a British passport no matter where its born thats a major relive cos that will save me a shed load of money! "phew" although saying that I am intending on moving back to 'ol blighty in 4/5 years time! So will the fact that baby born in Thailand cause a problem for settling in UK? As I understand it if wife comes back and forth to England with me over a period of years a settlement visa shouldnt be much of a problem, is this the same for the baby? I would really like baby to have an English education! As for getting married is there any difference in a marriage certificate in Thailand or England? Really can't afford a marriage in England right now but if its the better option then I'll dig deep and do it! I just want to do what's right by my woman and baby!! How long will the baby sleep with us for? Sounds like a bit of a ball ache to me! Maybe im just thinking with a western mind!! Really am very confused right now! Dont know what to do!!!

[Mario2008]

The fact where the baby is born doesn't matter, a British national is a British national.

But as said, you must be born in the UK yourself. To prevent people with British nationality in former colonies passing on British nationality for ever, the parent must be born in the UK if British nationality is to be passed on.

Marriage in Thailand is free, you pay something like 20 baht. The marriage is recognized by the UK without any problem. You will need documents form your embassy, which will cost you.

However, this is only the legal wedding. Most Thais consider the traditional Buddhist marriage as much more important, and this will cost you a bit more. This you should discuss with your future wife.

[rixalex]

you are opening a bad can of worms.

Can you get good ones?

[LT3]

However, this is only the legal wedding. Most Thais consider the traditional Buddhist marriage as much more important, and this will cost you a bit more. This you should discuss with your future wife.

if thats the one where you give 10,000 baht to the mother and then everyone ties string around your wrist then ive done that already! it was all a bit confussing and wiped me out of cash for the month! it was all over and done with an hour and a half!! the most expensive hour and a half ive ever had i think!!

[Thaddeus]

if thats the one where you give 10,000 baht to the mother and then everyone ties string around your wrist then ive done that already! it was all a bit confussing and wiped me out of cash for the month! it was all over and done with an hour and a half!! the most expensive hour and a half ive ever had i think!!

That's the one, and you got away with an inexpensive and short one.

[bifftastic]

honestly if your only concern is citizenship dont worry, as others have posted land air or sea the baby will be a brit as long as you are. the thing to think about is the gf and her family, typically this is a time when the mother and daughter stay together and care for the new born child, thais rarley put the kid in a crib in an other room as is the western custom, thais will sleep with the child and mind for it 24/7 so when you push for the gf to relocate b4 birth imho you are opening a bad can of worms.

OK so if the baby gets a British passport no matter where its born thats a major relive cos that will save me a shed load of money! "phew" although saying that I am intending on moving back to 'ol blighty in 4/5 years time! So will the fact that baby born in Thailand cause a problem for settling in UK? As I understand it if wife comes back and forth to England with me over a period of years a settlement visa shouldnt be much of a problem, is this the same for the baby? I would really like baby to have an English education! As for getting married is there any difference in a marriage certificate in Thailand or England? Really can't afford a marriage in England right now but if its the better option then I'll dig deep and do it! I just want to do what's right by my woman and baby!! How long will the baby sleep with us for? Sounds like a bit of a ball ache to me! Maybe im just thinking with a western mind!! Really am very confused right now! Dont know what to do!!!

Have you discussed moving back to 'blighty' with your wife? Have you also thought about how, or indeed if, she would integrate and be happy there? I only ask because many people just naturally assume that this is the best way forward, the natural thing to do if you like. It depends on many factors, you will need to give this idea some thought and not just assume that because you are from the UK and you are having a child (congratulations by the way ) that you must bring the child up in the UK too. I agree with you about the passport idea but the rest of it involves taking your Thai wife out of her country, away from her family and friends and into a culture that is completely different from hers.

This would be a massive rift in the family. You need to think about it. The education system in England is a bit of a lottery, to be honest. It all depends where you are as to the quality. Over the next 4 or 5 years you can expect cuts in government spending on education, decreasing standards, increasing social problems etc. I witness first hand every day what the school system here in the UK produces and it's far from pretty.

You are obviously trying to do the right thing by your wife and unborn baby but you need to stop and think, just because you were brought up in England doesn't necessarily make it the right thing for your child. This child has, or should have, a Thai culture too, you have an English family and background but now, due to the 10,000 baht and the string round your hands, you also have a Thai family and you need to consider all the options and what's truly best for your wife and child.

I know you must be confused right now, and yes, you are thinking with a western mind but that's understandable as that's the mind you have, it's equally understandable that you would automatically 'think of home' when the subject of child-rearing comes up. All I'm saying is that you need to remember that your wife is already home and what you're proposing is taking her and her baby away from everything she's grown up with, which might not look like much but it's family, and in Thailand, family comes first, it's often all they've got.

Oh and the baby will sleep with you till he/she's old enough to ride a motorbike

Edited September 17, 2010 by bifftastic

[rixalex]

if thats the one where you give 10,000 baht to the mother and then everyone ties string around your wrist then ive done that already! it was all a bit confussing and wiped me out of cash for the month! it was all over and done with an hour and a half!! the most expensive hour and a half ive ever had i think!!

That's the one, and you got away with an inexpensive and short one.

Is it? Isn't the stringy wrist custom also just a good luck slash welcome to the family home type thing, with no money, (or marriage for that matter) involved.

[bifftastic]

if thats the one where you give 10,000 baht to the mother and then everyone ties string around your wrist then ive done that already! it was all a bit confussing and wiped me out of cash for the month! it was all over and done with an hour and a half!! the most expensive hour and a half ive ever had i think!!

That's the one, and you got away with an inexpensive and short one.

Is it? Isn't the stringy wrist custom also just a good luck slash welcome to the family home type thing, with no money, (or marriage for that matter) involved.

The stringy wrist thing, I had when I was leaving to come back to England was indeed just a good luck thing, no money involved apart from about 40 baht (apparently it was whatever I had in my pocket at the time) which was put into a bowl with flowers, candles and my favourite shirt etc. that was held by myself and my g/f before 50 or so bits of string were tied round our wrists by well-wishers. No that's not a wedding.

Seems it's a kind of 'good luck on your journey and don't forget we're all thinking about you' thing. Don't know why the OP gave 10K to the mum in that one!

[rixalex]

Is it? Isn't the stringy wrist custom also just a good luck slash welcome to the family home type thing, with no money, (or marriage for that matter) involved.

The stringy wrist thing, I had when I was leaving to come back to England was indeed just a good luck thing, no money involved apart from about 40 baht (apparently it was whatever I had in my pocket at the time) which was put into a bowl with flowers, candles and my favourite shirt etc. that was held by myself and my g/f before 50 or so bits of string were tied round our wrists by well-wishers. No that's not a wedding.

Seems it's a kind of 'good luck on your journey and don't forget we're all thinking about you' thing. Don't know why the OP gave 10K to the mum in that one!

My exact same understanding and my exact same thoughts.

Lucky mum i guess! Brace yourself for the wedding expenses LT3.

[spud1]

So your not sure if you've recently been involved in a Thai wedding ceremony.Did anyone mention if the money was for sin sot (dowry)

[bina]

ok, lt3... first; i moved this to family since u are asking about more or less general thai/farang family stuff...before the thread degenarates in to a skeptics bashing thread....

sooooooooo:

divide yoiur thread in to new separate threads:

1: pregnancy and girlfriend helth questions if u have any- in health forum

2. visa questions: go to the international visa forum to ask anything about visas for your girl/baby

3: general thai cultural stuff goes to family in thailnd forum....

u seem a real real newbie...

marriage 101:

sin sot i wont even go into it, lots of stuff written, google and read the threads and pinned items about sin sot (engagement bride price ceremony)

a cultural thai marraige ceremony (has nothing to do with buddhism, everything to do with community and ancient sanskrit blabla that even the thais havent really a clue about whats being said) that often includes among other things string tying , water pouring, lots of kneeling, lots of liquor, and money

a registration at a local amphur with freedom of marriage forms, etc from you and your embassy, and forms for the girl

visas: post in that section

thai family culutural values:

family is super important, especially for the daughter and her mother, and important usually for her to have mom and often little old aunties surrounding her. if she is from village, her way and your way of child raising will be very different unless u were raised in a multigeneration household in an agricultural setting... baby sleeps with mom for a very long time (when child falls asleep u can then do what wives and husbands do at nite:) ); lots and lots of threads here for that also... but, as many have suggested, u are young, u seem a bit 'clueless' and unless u speak thai, there is al ong rocky road to travel...

for health info, post in the health forum...

best of luck

bina

israel

[elliss]

the thing to think about is the gf and her family, typically this is a time when the mother and daughter stay together and care for the new born child, thais rarley put the kid in a crib in an other room as is the western custom, thais will sleep with the child and mind for it 24/7 so when you push for the gf to relocate b4 birth imho you are opening a bad can of worms.

[/quote

i agree

the thai lady will want to be with mare ,

and understandably so .

the babe , will be eligible for a uk and thai passport.

best of luck , with the nappy changing . krap :jap: :jap:

[Luang]

The fact where the baby is born doesn't matter, a British national is a British national.

But as said, you must be born in the UK yourself. To prevent people with British nationality in former colonies passing on British nationality for ever, the parent must be born in the UK if British nationality is to be passed on.

Marriage in Thailand is free, you pay something like 20 baht. The marriage is recognized by the UK without any problem. You will need documents form your embassy, which will cost you.

However, this is only the legal wedding. Most Thais consider the traditional Buddhist marriage as much more important, and this will cost you a bit more. This you should discuss with your future wife.

[/quote

Not so free then . Glad you're not my accountant!

Edited September 17, 2010 by Luang

[LT3]

Have you discussed moving back to 'blighty' with your wife? Have you also thought about how, or indeed if, she would integrate and be happy there? I only ask because many people just naturally assume that this is the best way forward, the natural thing to do if you like. It depends on many factors, you will need to give this idea some thought and not just assume that because you are from the UK and you are having a child (congratulations by the way ) that you must bring the child up in the UK too. I agree with you about the passport idea but the rest of it involves taking your Thai wife out of her country, away from her family and friends and into a culture that is completely different from hers.

This would be a massive rift in the family. You need to think about it. The education system in England is a bit of a lottery, to be honest. It all depends where you are as to the quality. Over the next 4 or 5 years you can expect cuts in government spending on education, decreasing standards, increasing social problems etc. I witness first hand every day what the school system here in the UK produces and it's far from pretty.

You are obviously trying to do the right thing by your wife and unborn baby but you need to stop and think, just because you were brought up in England doesn't necessarily make it the right thing for your child. This child has, or should have, a Thai culture too, you have an English family and background but now, due to the 10,000 baht and the string round your hands, you also have a Thai family and you need to consider all the options and what's truly best for your wife and child.

I know you must be confused right now, and yes, you are thinking with a western mind but that's understandable as that's the mind you have, it's equally understandable that you would automatically 'think of home' when the subject of child-rearing comes up. All I'm saying is that you need to remember that your wife is already home and what you're proposing is taking her and her baby away from everything she's grown up with, which might not look like much but it's family, and in Thailand, family comes first, it's often all they've got.

Oh and the baby will sleep with you till he/she's old enough to ride a motorbike

yes i have discussed moving back home with her and on this many other subjects regarding this whole issue! the thing is everytime i ask her for her opinion on something or ask her what she wants she just says 'up to you' or 'do what you want' or ' if you like it i like it!' i dont know if thats a thai thing for women to bow to the mans wants and needs but i find it very fustrating as it makes things difficult to decide what is best cos i get very little to no feed back from her on any issues!

i dont want to be the only one to make decisions as later on that will lead to resentment from her and eventually the baby! (i know cos ive seen it in my own family!!)

as for education in england ive had a bad experience with education in england as im dyslexic and was found out very late (i was 15!) this led to all sorts of problems for me at school but i intend to have baby educated privately!

i dont intend to stay in thailand all my life. at the moment im helping my dad set up a factory and will be for the next 4/5 years but thats not what i want to do with my life! there are things i want to do that i feel i cant do in thailand! and as well as keeping family happy and safe i need to keep myself happy and safe!

ive been slowly introducing her to english culture and my friends through facebook so when she does come to england (for a visit or permanantly) she will already know peoples faces and would have spoken to some of them already thus making life a little less daunting for her!!

as for the baby sleeping with until its old enough to ride a motorbike that would be 5 years old then? lol!!

[LT3]

So your not sure if you've recently been involved in a Thai wedding ceremony.Did anyone mention if the money was for sin sot (dowry)

no the money wasn't for 'sin sot' as i had already explained to my GF that im not going to do that because it seems too much like slavery to me!! i couldnt do do it! it just seems wrong to me! i want her to marry me because she loves me not because ive paid for it!!!!

my dads wife has already explained about the whole money thing but im still not sure what the significance of the ceremoney was! as far as i understand it, it was a wedding of some description. but thats as far as it goes!

[bifftastic]

Is it? Isn't the stringy wrist custom also just a good luck slash welcome to the family home type thing, with no money, (or marriage for that matter) involved.

The stringy wrist thing, I had when I was leaving to come back to England was indeed just a good luck thing, no money involved apart from about 40 baht (apparently it was whatever I had in my pocket at the time) which was put into a bowl with flowers, candles and my favourite shirt etc. that was held by myself and my g/f before 50 or so bits of string were tied round our wrists by well-wishers. No that's not a wedding.

Seems it's a kind of 'good luck on your journey and don't forget we're all thinking about you' thing. Don't know why the OP gave 10K to the mum in that one!

My exact same understanding and my exact same thoughts.

Lucky mum i guess! Brace yourself for the wedding expenses LT3.

Maybe they asked for a little money to put in the bowl, OP pulls out 10k and says "is this enough?" Cue much furtive eye contact across the room, mum steps in, pockets the TWO MONTHS WAGES and drifts off into a sin sodt dream world!

Yep, I feel an expensive wedding is on the horizon!

[bifftastic]

So your not sure if you've recently been involved in a Thai wedding ceremony.Did anyone mention if the money was for sin sot (dowry)

no the money wasn't for 'sin sot' as i had already explained to my GF that im not going to do that because it seems too much like slavery to me!! i couldnt do do it! it just seems wrong to me! i want her to marry me because she loves me not because ive paid for it!!!!

my dads wife has already explained about the whole money thing but im still not sure what the significance of the ceremoney was! as far as i understand it, it was a wedding of some description. but thats as far as it goes!

She is marrying you because she loves you, she's having your baby!

In England, the tradition was that the father of the bride used to pay for the wedding, because the groom was taking a financial burden (his daughter, as women were seen as 'property' and cost money to keep) away from him. In Thailand it was the other way round, the groom was taking away someone who was an earner for the family and also wanted to demonstrate that he was financially able to contribute to the family. The tradition has changed somewhat but it has it's roots in pretty much exactly the same as ours does, just the other way round. It's not slavery.

Dowrys are one family showing another that they aren't paupers and their children have made an equal match. The same as our tradition of the brides father showing the grooms family that their son has married into a family of 'means' by paying for the wedding.

Anyway, there's plenty of sin sodt threads on here and plenty of people who won't pay it 'cos it's wrong' and plenty who will 'cos it's how they do it in Thailand' ultimately it's up to you and your girlfriend to sort out between you,

and her mum,

and the rest of the family,

and the village,

and any other people who, for some reason, haven't got anything else to gossip about today.

If indeed you did pay 10,000 baht sin sodt then that was quite cheap, so I doubt that it was a wedding (my g/f's nephew just got married, no monks, no paperwork, just a wedding party, and he paid 30,000 sin sodt to his wife's mum plus 1 baht gold to his wife).

But you've been through some kind of ceremony that you don't understand, that's a bit weird if I may say so!

We had an impromptu 'good luck for you and you g/f' ceremony, I woke up one morning and there was a pigs head being boiled in a pot over a fire, we took lots of food, lots of laokhao and lots of people off up to the local shrine for some kneeling and praying, it was nice, it was definitely about us being a couple, we were the focus of the whole thing, but no money changed hands, I wasn't asked for a single baht and we aren't married.

Are you married or not? How come you didn't ask before you did it?

Anyway, everyone will regard you as married because you're living together and she's pregnant, whatever kind of party you had.

As for a legally binding marriage that can only be done at the Amphur, like a Registry Office in England, it's just the paperwork side of things. Lot's of Thai people don't bother with it, same as in England, you co-habit, everyone regards you as a couple, in England, so does the law to a certain extent, but in Thailand, you need to get the paperwork done for it to be legal.

Again, there's lots of threads on here about how to go about doing that, you need some paperwork from your embassy and that needs to be translated and certified by the Thai authorities before you go to the Amphur.

I think, as Bina said, you need to do some learning about what you've got yourself into, and quickly too!

Good luck!

Biff

[bifftastic]

yes i have discussed moving back home with her and on this many other subjects regarding this whole issue! the thing is everytime i ask her for her opinion on something or ask her what she wants she just says 'up to you' or 'do what you want' or ' if you like it i like it!' i dont know if thats a thai thing for women to bow to the mans wants and needs but i find it very fustrating as it makes things difficult to decide what is best cos i get very little to no feed back from her on any issues!

i dont want to be the only one to make decisions as later on that will lead to resentment from her and eventually the baby! (i know cos ive seen it in my own family!!)

as for education in england ive had a bad experience with education in england as im dyslexic and was found out very late (i was 15!) this led to all sorts of problems for me at school but i intend to have baby educated privately!

i dont intend to stay in thailand all my life. at the moment im helping my dad set up a factory and will be for the next 4/5 years but thats not what i want to do with my life! there are things i want to do that i feel i cant do in thailand! and as well as keeping family happy and safe i need to keep myself happy and safe!

ive been slowly introducing her to english culture and my friends through facebook so when she does come to england (for a visit or permanantly) she will already know peoples faces and would have spoken to some of them already thus making life a little less daunting for her!!

as for the baby sleeping with until its old enough to ride a motorbike that would be 5 years old then? lol!!

Yeah about 5 years old

seems like you're considering all the right things, it's important, as you say, for your life to be what you want it to be and if that's not in Thailand then your wife will have to come with you. The private education in England is also a bit of a lottery (my ex is a teacher, so was my mum, I've worked in education before as well) it can be better than some state schools, it can also be worse.

As for all the 'up to you' stuff, I know, it drives me crazy too, well it used to. I (think) I've worked out that when that's said what is happening is that they're waiting for you to suggest what they wanted you to suggest! Definitely, in my g/f's case, NOT about bowing to the man's needs AT ALL!

Now, I talk 'around' the issue at hand, I'm 'not sure' and then I make sure she understands that i want the best decision for everyone concerned, offer two options, both of which I'll be happy with, give her time to think about it, let it settle for a while and then it just seems to happen. It took a bit of time but, I think, we're at a stage now where we arrive at important decisions together, or maybe I just think we do, and we do what she wants, I'm never quite sure!

Of course the issues aren't as life-changing as yours, and you can't really expect your wife/g/f to be able to decide whether or not to come and live in England because she hasn't lived here before so has nothing to base the decision on.

It can be very frustrating to get what we would call a 'heart to heart' definitive discussion about anything like this. I don't really know what to suggest but seeing as you've got 4-5 years helping your dad, then there would be plenty of time for visits to the UK so she can see what it's like.

As for private education, there are plenty of international schools in Thailand, I don't know if there are any where you're living or what your financial situation is but it's something to consider.

Edited September 18, 2010 by bifftastic

[LT3]

But you've been through some kind of ceremony that you don't understand, that's a bit weird if I may say so!

Are you married or not? How come you didn't ask before you did it?

Anyway, everyone will regard you as married because you're living together and she's pregnant, whatever kind of party you had.

I did ask what it was all about. I was told by my step sister that it wasn't a wedding it was a ceremoney to say 'sorry for taking your daughter away from you' and I was told by my step mum that it was a wedding so to be honest I'm confused about it as I've been told several different things about it! So I just thought 'fuc_k it! what does it matter! It was more for her so she doesn't lose face in her village! I gave 10,000 baht because that was the amount I was told was needed! (by my stepmum-btw stepmum is from Thailand and some kind of reletive to my GF). I'm not totally stupid! I've been through a lot in my short life so far! I've been homeless three times (last stint was for three years!) I've gone hungry for days on end! Been a DJ for ten years and had many many people take advantage of my good nature and had to learn very early to think about my actions before I jump straight in (although sometimes I think too hard about it and make myself confused!! ) anyway thanks for all the help! Everyone here has been very nice and offerd good advice!

[/qoute] The private education in England is also a bit of a lottery (my ex is a teacher, so was my mum, I've worked in education before as well) it can be better than some state schools, it can also be worse.[/qoute]

yeah I know I was educated privately! Turned out shit for me but I was some what of a different case as no-one knew I was dyslexic until I was 15!!! All my teachers just thought I was lazy!! Then when we did find out I was dyslexic the school said they dont accept dyslexya as a learning difficulty and was subsequantly expelled!! But that was me not my child and because of that I can spot where a school is going wrong!! many thanks to everyone!!!

[bina]

i dont know why but i get an instant sinking feeling in my stomach when i read your posts... u might be someone who has gone thru alot but u seem really really naive...

yes, u were married village style; as for being some kind of relative of step mom's, how much do u know about your step mom and how much do u respect her opinions, cause i sense a bit of.. ... not sure how to word this, scamableness in this situation... how did u all meet? how much do u love your wife...?

the 'up to u' (taam jai khun) is very very thai, thais dont tend to discuss much, u will have to decide by deciphering what she really wants, and means... my hsuband is fairly straight forward but still baffles me in certain areas that i have to decipher, adn again, i speak thai... so its really not just a language thing ... and to tell u the truth, love is not everything, if things frustrate u now, what will happen when u have a child??? children are teh cause of more then one cross cultural (or cross class, economic, religious or whatever else differnt) marriage.

i take it your step mom is thai? then how comeu know so little really? ... for someone who thinks things thru, i suggest u really really really think this thing out.. or we will be hearing a lot more from u on this forum.... sorry, but im been on this forum for like 7! years, and things repeat....

take my well thought out suggestions and think think think.. good luck...

bina

israel

[LT3]

i dont know why but i get an instant sinking feeling in my stomach when i read your posts... u might be someone who has gone thru alot but u seem really really naive...

yes, u were married village style; as for being some kind of relative of step mom's, how much do u know about your step mom and how much do u respect her opinions, cause i sense a bit of.. ... not sure how to word this, scamableness in this situation... how did u all meet? how much do u love your wife...?

the 'up to u' (taam jai khun) is very very thai, thais dont tend to discuss much, u will have to decide by deciphering what she really wants, and means... my hsuband is fairly straight forward but still baffles me in certain areas that i have to decipher, adn again, i speak thai... so its really not just a language thing ... and to tell u the truth, love is not everything, if things frustrate u now, what will happen when u have a child??? children are teh cause of more then one cross cultural (or cross class, economic, religious or whatever else differnt) marriage.

i take it your step mom is thai? then how comeu know so little really? ... for someone who thinks things thru, i suggest u really really really think this thing out.. or we will be hearing a lot more from u on this forum.... sorry, but im been on this forum for like 7! years, and things repeat....

take my well thought out suggestions and think think think.. good luck...

bina

israel

Trust me naive I aint!! I probably look on the nicer side of things too much which can come across as naive sometimes. My stepmum is Thai but she is hardly ever here as she is off with my Dad on various business trips most of the year! I'm basically figuring things out on the fly! As for how much I love my wife I think thats a stupid question! Would I agree to take her to England marry her there so when im finished helping my Dad in Thailand we can all move back to England together? No I would just say I'll send ya some money once a month to look after the kid! (and trust me THAT would be the easy option!! Not nice but easy!!) Whatever life throws at me I can handle it! I've been through enough to know that much!

[jubby]

I dont know where we're going with this.

The best thing IMNSHO would be to let nature take its course here. Have the baby in Thailand which is where you both are now right ? .

Register the Birth and apply for the babies british passport. Very easy. Oh. and get a Thai one too

When you want the three of you to go back to the UK, I suspect the fact that your wife is the mother of a British Citizen and also married to you will make the Visa application go swimmingly. Visa applications in my experience can be very traumatic for both of you. You both dont need the trauma at this stage I would think.

Edited September 19, 2010 by jubby

[rotary]

i dont know why but i get an instant sinking feeling in my stomach when i read your posts... u might be someone who has gone thru alot but u seem really really naive...

yes, u were married village style; as for being some kind of relative of step mom's, how much do u know about your step mom and how much do u respect her opinions, cause i sense a bit of.. ... not sure how to word this, scamableness in this situation... how did u all meet? how much do u love your wife...?

the 'up to u' (taam jai khun) is very very thai, thais dont tend to discuss much, u will have to decide by deciphering what she really wants, and means... my hsuband is fairly straight forward but still baffles me in certain areas that i have to decipher, adn again, i speak thai... so its really not just a language thing ... and to tell u the truth, love is not everything, if things frustrate u now, what will happen when u have a child??? children are teh cause of more then one cross cultural (or cross class, economic, religious or whatever else differnt) marriage.

i take it your step mom is thai? then how comeu know so little really? ... for someone who thinks things thru, i suggest u really really really think this thing out.. or we will be hearing a lot more from u on this forum.... sorry, but im been on this forum for like 7! years, and things repeat....

take my well thought out suggestions and think think think.. good luck...

bina

israel

Trust me naive I aint!! I probably look on the nicer side of things too much which can come across as naive sometimes. My stepmum is Thai but she is hardly ever here as she is off with my Dad on various business trips most of the year! I'm basically figuring things out on the fly! As for how much I love my wife I think thats a stupid question! Would I agree to take her to England marry her there so when im finished helping my Dad in Thailand we can all move back to England together? No I would just say I'll send ya some money once a month to look after the kid! (and trust me THAT would be the easy option!! Not nice but easy!!) Whatever life throws at me I can handle it! I've been through enough to know that much!

Hmmm maybe a few days by yourself just doing some thinking and using a bit of common sense mixed with a few ounces of caution would help. What is it that Trink used to say in his column at the Bkk Post. "Human Manure" I think it was in place of Human Nature. In the end you need to look at things with some common sense.

[hawksway]

It's unlikely that the United Kingdom will grant a visa in these circumstances. The application will amost certainly be time viewed as an attempt to circumvent normal immigration rules.

Only the passing of time and proof of an enduring relationship will alter the situation.

As other Contributors have rightly stated, the Child will be entitiled to UK Nationality.

[LT3]

I dont know where we're going with this.

The best thing IMNSHO would be to let nature take its course here. Have the baby in Thailand which is where you both are now right ? .

Register the Birth and apply for the babies british passport. Very easy. Oh. and get a Thai one too

When you want the three of you to go back to the UK, I suspect the fact that your wife is the mother of a British Citizen and also married to you will make the Visa application go swimmingly. Visa applications in my experience can be very traumatic for both of you. You both dont need the trauma at this stage I would think.

Thanks for the great advice and support Jubby!! That certainly would help me on many matters (money being one of them!!!)

[bina]

sababa....... (great)... i wasnt questioning your love for your wife... i was voicing common sense questions and thoughts... remember the rule that everyone states here: never give away aanythng that u cant afford to lose, including your heart.... so i reiterate:

go to the visa forum for good visa answers, never assume ANYTHING, remember that most immigration officials have heard/seen it ALL... babies do not make a difference: tangible proof of connection (i.e. paperwork, photos, bills, letters) do make a difference; and most important: long term usually means terminal . better to think for the next year, not five years down the line... babies change everything about 360 degrees...

good luck

bina