Can You Trust Thais With Your Secrets?

[MrBrad]

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

---Benjamin Franklin

[geriatrickid]

Why are you in a monastery if you are breaking the rules on the use of tobacco? You know that smoking is verboten.

You must leave the monastery now before you poison the purity of the others. You are gripped by addiction and expect that others are to feel comfortable with someone that claims to be a devout follower and yet you flout the precepts of that group? Keep it up and you will get derobed, tossed out into the street in only your thong. It will be like being back in Boyztown, Pattaya having to dance for your supper.

Hey, I have an even better idea, get a life.

Edited October 8, 2010 by geriatrickid

[cardholder]

Trust lightly given, will be lightly recieved.

Loz's first Law of Reciprocity

:jap:

Surely Loz would give before he receives ?

[jikwan]

Why are you in a monastery if you are breaking the rules on the use of tobacco? You know that smoking is verboten.

You must leave the monastery now before you poison the purity of the others. You are gripped by addiction and expect that others are to feel comfortable with someone that claims to be a devout follower and yet you flout the precepts of that group? Keep it up and you will get derobed, tossed out into the street in only your thong. It will be like being back in Boyztown, Pattaya having to dance for your supper.

Hey, I have an even better idea, get a life.

i could easily explain why the occasional breaking

of a minor rule is nothing for anyone to worry about

but i wont

theres a very nasty tone in what you posted

[jikwan]

Trust lightly given, will be lightly recieved.

Loz's first Law of Reciprocity

:jap:

sounds interesting

would you mind giving us a short commentary please?

[jikwan]

hi

the example was just a simple harmless

topic starter

ive a whole pile of previous insidents

got me pissed off enough to write something

theres a very big difference between a strict monastery and a very strict one

practically everyones got a secret

and sometimes its not wise to broadcast it

its not a bad thing to have a friend you could

unload something thats been troubling you

discuss it and get relief/help/assistance

sometimes its very neccessary to do that

but if one is worried about the person telling

others or using it against you-well, its better

to keep quiet

i spent a couple of years in sri lanka

i came across reports of cases of suicide due

to the fact that the troubled person couldnt

find anyone to talk to about their problem

because in 5 minutes the whole village would know

for those without a visa

they better keep the mouth closed

not all thais love ferangs

and some money could be made telling

the right person

enlighten us. whats allowed in strict vs very strict monastery. is girls a dealbreaker in either one?

regarding women...

strict-can talk to a woman alone pretty much anywhere (exept in your room)

v strict- doesnt matter where you are you must have another person

there listening/observing that nothing inappropriate happens

strict-monks can have money and use it

v strict very likely the monk gets asked to leave

strict- if a monk does a fairly serious wrongdoing he gets blasted by the abbot

and told to never do it again

v strict would have to make a detailed confession to all the monks and if

theres layfolk present they would hear all about it. this is done many times

also have to serve a penance and your ostrasized for a week or two

theres a lot more like that

[MSingh]

They're a nation of grasses, lying is common place too..

Other than that, they're alright..

[jikwan]

im suspecting that they have no choice

asians, it seems, are genetically hardwired

to share information because theyre a 'group'

kind of people as opposed to the individualist/private

sort which the caucasian/westerners are

group type people act as one as though the group

was one entity

they live very close to each other and pretty soon

everyone knows everything about everyone

westerners value privacy and confidentiality. they

value trust

[MAJIC]

im suspecting that they have no choice

asians, it seems, are genetically hardwired

to share information because theyre a 'group'

kind of people as opposed to the individualist/private

sort which the caucasian/westerners are

group type people act as one as though the group

was one entity

they live very close to each other and pretty soon

everyone knows everything about everyone

westerners value privacy and confidentiality. they

value trust

So,seems to me you are saying,just because Asians/Thais,cant keep their mouths shut on important confidential issues,we westerners have to follow suit,.........eh?.

Your last,words of wisdom: "they value trust" wake up fella!...... how the fork can they/we value trust,when you and I know they blab off about anybody and anything personal,no matter to them,they lack Integrity,and are untrustworthy,confidants,..with any secret other than the Cat is pregnant,and next doors Cat,probably stuffed it!,

local gossip states that TomCat X was "genetically hardwired" at the time of the incident.

*News Flash*.........Oh! Mrs Somchai,has been heard to say she wants compensation from the Tom Cat Xs Farang owner!

this story will probably run and run around the village,until a compensation figure is agreed,the Farang could well have to sell his house over this,the words Feline Rape has been bandied about also,....blah..... blah..........

Add some more village gossip here_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

All your pompous lectures,David Attenborough style,changes nothing.

Oh Dear! I might wake up tomorrow and find I'm on a holiday,or worse still the "Silly Go Home Police" will be on to me"!

[bankei]

I must say what a ridiculous post jikwan.

Firstly you are generalising about all Thais being the same and then all Asians being the same. That is like saying all British are racist because some are.

Secondly your example - is buying cigarettes generally considered a secret? Even in a so-called 'strict' monastery. There is no restrictions on monks smoking either, so why would a layman be restricted?

For my secrets I tell certain people I chose to - not based on their DNA, but on my relationship with them and my assessment on how big the secret is and how likely i judge if they are going to keep it.

Bankei

ps - you can't trust Thais!

[Pria]

Plenty of examples of how one Thai gets grabbed by the coppers for something and then not only spills their guts about who their customers/supplier/colleges are but then go on to set them up for the coppers. It's not just a Thai thing though but common throughout Southeast Asia - and that's based on 20-years living in the region. As far as trusting farangs only

:lol::lol:

[Loz]

why would you burden someone with the responsibility of your secret. keep it to yourself. if i needed to share something private i'd choose a friend i had good reason to trust. otherwise keep it to yourself. trusting an acquaintance is pure folly.

[Loz]

i can say with certainty that “the prince” was not on the op's reading list as a boy.

[david555]

As soon you let know anybody your secret ..... it is not a secret anymore because you never sure it is kept a secret ... only the owner can keep it that way , this is counting for all not only Thais:jap:

[TimTang]

Anyone that lives in a apartment or condo in a multistory building will surely be aware that there is always a security guard.

What's annoying about living in this scenario is that you can be sure that the entire building knows if you came home drunk, had a female visitor, bought a six pack of beer, you name it. Basically you can rest assured that you have absolutely no privacy.

I've been in several different buildings and it's exactly the same. Security guards exist for gossip.

[mca]

hi

the example was just a simple harmless

topic starter

ive a whole pile of previous insidents

got me pissed off enough to write something

theres a very big difference between a strict monastery and a very strict one

practically everyones got a secret

and sometimes its not wise to broadcast it

its not a bad thing to have a friend you could

unload something thats been troubling you

discuss it and get relief/help/assistance

sometimes its very neccessary to do that

but if one is worried about the person telling

others or using it against you-well, its better

to keep quiet

i spent a couple of years in sri lanka

i came across reports of cases of suicide due

to the fact that the troubled person couldnt

find anyone to talk to about their problem

because in 5 minutes the whole village would know

for those without a visa

they better keep the mouth closed

not all thais love ferangs

and some money could be made telling

the right person

enlighten us. whats allowed in strict vs very strict monastery. is girls a dealbreaker in either one?

regarding women...

strict-can talk to a woman alone pretty much anywhere (exept in your room)

v strict- doesnt matter where you are you must have another person

there listening/observing that nothing inappropriate happens

strict-monks can have money and use it

v strict very likely the monk gets asked to leave

strict- if a monk does a fairly serious wrongdoing he gets blasted by the abbot

and told to never do it again

v strict would have to make a detailed confession to all the monks and if

theres layfolk present they would hear all about it. this is done many times

also have to serve a penance and your ostrasized for a week or two

theres a lot more like that

Strict

You're allowed to post on the internet

Very Strict

You're allowed to post on the internet but you're not allowed to use upper case letters

[travelmann]

It's probably a good idea not to share your ATM PIN Numbers.

No he can tell me Im not Thai....................

[mca]

I wouldn't trust anybody with the secret about my rash.

Oh, wait!

I TOLD you we shouldn't have spent that night together. But, you insisted.

You demanded he stay the whole next day as well didn't you mate.....

Edited October 10, 2010 by mca

[richieudon]

Thais can't keep secrets but then again who can?

I think most people who are told a secret will spill the beans to someone else, tell them "Don't tell anyone, it's a secret" and so on....

Keep this post to yourselves.....

[david555]

Anyone that lives in a apartment or condo in a multistory building will surely be aware that there is always a security guard.

What's annoying about living in this scenario is that you can be sure that the entire building knows if you came home drunk, had a female visitor, bought a six pack of beer, you name it. Basically you can rest assured that you have absolutely no privacy.

I've been in several different buildings and it's exactly the same. Security guards exist for gossip.

very true , but s has this guy a very boring job, just imagine yourself to sit the whole time not to fall a sleep , as for the "visitors " i am lucky to have a condo with 2 in and exits .... and a have also more than 1 key card .... (go in separate an out also..; privacy guaranteed.;

[StreetCowboy]

No, never trust Thai people, only trust Farangs.

Let me know how you get on.

Yes, you are right.

This is a stupid thread because in fact who in this world could we actually trust other than our parents and children maybe?

You can trust me. I'm a stranger on the internet. I can provide you with sound advice on the most personal of topics, based solely on a few lines of your own description of the problems that you face. And my own prejudices and bigotries, of course. In fact, your description of the problems is not necessary. I can form my own opinion of your problems without your input, and provide corresponding excellent advice.

Sadly, we rarely receive the feedback on whether the advice was followed, and how things eventually transpired, and so a great deal of the humour of the situation is lost...

SC

[Kwasaki]

No.

[jackr]

Op, I wouldn't tell anyone any secrets, Thai or farang, else what's the point in it being secret. As mentioned, Thais in particular like to gossip; may be no malice in it, more them knowing something. Suggest not having any contact with them whatsoever.

[StreetCowboy]

i can say with certainty that "the prince" was not on the op's reading list as a boy.

To be fair, it would be lost on boys

SC

[jikwan]

why would you burden someone with the responsibility of your secret. keep it to yourself. if i needed to share something private i'd choose a friend i had good reason to trust. otherwise keep it to yourself. trusting an acquaintance is pure folly.

had michavellis book in my hand a dozen times

a description of one political system may only work

in that time and place. never got round to reading it

it is a burden. no doubt

asking someone for help might fall into a worse catagory

than the former

there are exactly 10 000 examples where its wise/neccessary to burden

others like that

person makes a mistake, a serious one

if it is known could have disasterous effects

it eats away at the person

after some big search finds someone trustworthy

unloads the problem

the burdened one says i think we could repair this easily

but it should be done in precisly this way

person is heartened

goes back home tells husband of the lightning-brief affair she had

husband is moved to say ok. lets forget about it. its only a one-off

one life saved

the way people are talking in just this thread confirms my suspicions

modern people do not trust each other

they dont even trust their friends....maybe

see everybody as potentially harmful

this is a very serious degeneration

as for me....ive been very spoilt. lived in buddhist/hindu communities

over 20 years

there, the standard of trust is very high

[StreetCowboy]

I'm surprised that you think one religion is more trustworthy than another. I guess it depends on what we call trust,,,But why would you curse anyone with your secrets? That seems like an apalling betrayal of friendship. Your secrets are yours to take to the grave, or else they are not your secrets....

SC

[jikwan]

im suspecting that they have no choice

asians, it seems, are genetically hardwired

to share information because theyre a 'group'

kind of people as opposed to the individualist/private

sort which the caucasian/westerners are

group type people act as one as though the group

was one entity

they live very close to each other and pretty soon

everyone knows everything about everyone

westerners value privacy and confidentiality. they

value trust

So,seems to me you are saying,just because Asians/Thais,cant keep their mouths shut on important confidential issues,we westerners have to follow suit,.........eh?.

Your last,words of wisdom: "they value trust" wake up fella!...... how the fork can they/we value trust,when you and I know they blab off about anybody and anything personal,no matter to them,they lack Integrity,and are untrustworthy,confidants,..with any secret other than the Cat is pregnant,and next doors Cat,probably stuffed it!,

local gossip states that TomCat X was "genetically hardwired" at the time of the incident.

*News Flash*.........Oh! Mrs Somchai,has been heard to say she wants compensation from the Tom Cat Xs Farang owner!

this story will probably run and run around the village,until a compensation figure is agreed,the Farang could well have to sell his house over this,the words Feline Rape has been bandied about also,....blah..... blah..........

Add some more village gossip here_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

All your pompous lectures,David Attenborough style,changes nothing.

Oh Dear! I might wake up tomorrow and find I'm on a holiday,or worse still the "Silly Go Home Police" will be on to me"!

to majic

dear sir or madam

you flatter me no end

to say david attenborough and jikwan in the same breath!

i felt chuffed. i swear i had an extra spring to my step

and i had to seriously restrain myself from asking a woman

excuse me...er, do i...do i look like david attenborough? even just a little?

anyone whos spent 50+ years investigating animals and nature

has a right to be a bit pompous

very well spoken, soothing voice

his earth documentaries are hugely popular

the way i present my views is.....as i see it/the way it appears to me

just that

its subject to opposition and improvment

any more "words of wisdom" that appear on the screen are

dedicated to you only

my gratitude to you and your kind

jik

[jikwan]

I'm surprised that you think one religion is more trustworthy than another. I guess it depends on what we call trust,,,But why would you curse anyone with your secrets? That seems like an apalling betrayal of friendship. Your secrets are yours to take to the grave, or else they are not your secrets....

SC

my guess is that if i spent the same years in christian/sufi high class

communities the results would be the same

they know betraying trust is a serious wrongdoing

if you cannot go to your best friend and ask him for help

who the hel_l can you go to?

it means if youve backslided/made a serious mistake........you are fuc_ked

fuc_ked for life

wrongdoings can be put right

mistakes can be corrected

excuse me, but your attitude....sounds like you would never

put yourself out/inconvenience yourself if someone is on

their knees begging you for help

or what?

[dmax]

what ???? i cant even trust my wife to keep her gob shut, thais just love to gossip, mix this with a little jealousy and sit back wait for the fireworks

[MrBrad]

The good thing about our getting older: your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either. So just hang around with old people, and have no worries.