Any Suggestions What I Could Do For A Funeral

[aussieguy130]

My Thai Girfriend's Mum died this morning. I'm not there at the moment and I don’t know enough about their death/funeral customs to know if there is any meaningful gesture that I might practically be able to achieve from here, other than the obvious cash.

Any suggestions / ideas anyone might have would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks

Mark

[onnut]

I know you said it but cash is the best thing and she would be grateful for it. it will help pay for the wake! after and donation for the Monks. if you are not here there is not much else you can do.

[g00dgirl]

If a close family member died the family in Thailand is more likely to expect you to attend the funeral for a couple of days in person. Thai people will often travel around the world as it is a very important occasion.

The very best impression would be for you to attend the funeral in person with your wife even ifyou have to fly from overseas. You would also support the funeral with as much as you can afford, at the very least a few thousand Baht.

If you are in Thailand now and not overseas, and you do not personally attend, it could make a very bad impression.

The more money you can send/bring the better. Thai people still have big families, many relatives and several hundred people might be at the funeral for several days and the food, seating, electricity, ceremony and funeral will cost your wife likely around 100,000 Baht. Relatives will give as much as they can. The guests are sitting at the funeral during the evening and night and the men usually help at night to greet arriving guests, seat them, bring them food and drinks. They take turns. It would be the role you would be expected to take as the husband of the daughter whose mother died, apart from giving money as well.

I went to two funerals in the last 3 weeks in rural Thailand and I speak Thai so I talked to many people and saw how many people were there, for how many days and how much food there was and who was helping.

If you really can't or don't want to go in person, 10,000 Baht I would say is the least to send, depending on how many other children the deceased mother has. 20,000 Baht would be more appropriate and if the mother does not have many other children or they are all very poor you might need to help your wife with a much higher amount.

[rgs2001uk]

Call me cynical or too long in Thailand, however this is a perfect opportunity to see if this girl and her family is worth carrying on with.

The op doesn't give details such as, where is the dear departed, upcountry or BKK, was the lady working or not?

Reason for asking, in some villages upcountry the villagers pay into an insurance type scheme village fund that covers the costs of funerals.

Was the lady working, did she have an insuramnce policy with a regular insurance company or was she covered by her employers?

Op has already said, girlfriend not wife, so really has no obligation to help, other than what his heart says.

I was had a funeral in Nakorn Nayok last month that cost 20,000 baht, decent hard working folks that werent concerned about buying face in the local community with someone elses money.

If I were the op I would do nothing, wait and see if any money is asked for, and if so how much.

If money is asked for, ask what it is to be used for and how much has the family contributed.

How many brothers and sisters does the girl have?

[aussieguy130]

Thanks for the speedy and detailed replies. Good Info, appreciate it. I don't stand a chance of getting back to Thailand to attend unfortunately (it is upcountry). So looks like the money will be more useful than me on this occasion.

Cheers

[bina]

sorry post mix up... my apologies

[sinbin]

Call me cynical or too long in Thailand, however this is a perfect opportunity to see if this girl and her family is worth carrying on with.

The op doesn't give details such as, where is the dear departed, upcountry or BKK, was the lady working or not?

Reason for asking, in some villages upcountry the villagers pay into an insurance type scheme village fund that covers the costs of funerals.

Was the lady working, did she have an insuramnce policy with a regular insurance company or was she covered by her employers?

Op has already said, girlfriend not wife, so really has no obligation to help, other than what his heart says.

I was had a funeral in Nakorn Nayok last month that cost 20,000 baht, decent hard working folks that werent concerned about buying face in the local community with someone elses money.

If I were the op I would do nothing, wait and see if any money is asked for, and if so how much.

If money is asked for, ask what it is to be used for and how much has the family contributed.

How many brothers and sisters does the girl have?

Top answer in my book. The op has no financial commitment to his g/f's family and life would carry on even without his money. High chance there will be insurance, but they ain't going to tell him so.