Can It Possibly Work? I Am 42 She Is 20. :)

[sidjameson]

I have met a girl online. She is dirt poor. Actually she is Filipina in Manila, but I figure there is a chance I will get good stories here of guys who have been in my position. She speaks english of course. Is nice looking with a body to die for. I am a reasonable looking guy who looks younger on cam I guess than my age. I make her laugh all the time. BUT I AM 42.

Of course I know its folly, of course I know that each time we talk its all me being funny and her laughing. Of course I know that my economic reality must make me some kind of Santa Claus figure. Of course my university education hardly lends itself compatible to her high school one.

But I am looking to settle down and part of me thinks, why the hel_l not.

Just wondering if there is any guy out there who has been in my situation and made it work?

Oh and as I can not imagine living in Manila, do you know if I can bring a Filipina into Thailand to live easily enough if I have a work visa here?

Flame me if you like

[Old Croc]

Give it a go. Plenty of success stories, many failures.

Stay solvent and keep control.

[chiang mai]

Best dig out the extra heavy duty asbestos suit matey, good luck though. BTW, Mrs CM is 30 and I'm 60, been together very happily for seven years and it just keeps getting better so take all the young flamer insults with a pinch of salt.

Edited November 1, 2010 by chiang mai

[travelmann]

Give it a go. Plenty of success stories, many failures.

Stay solvent and keep control.

Yeah dont worry i was 68 and she was 14 when we first met..............oooooooooops I mean 24 obviously

[nattydread]

give it a go after u tell her u are not rich and keep to a monthly budget of what to spend when u are with her..........if she is still with u in 5 years then maybe take the plunge

[Spoonman]

Your old enough to have fathered her, what could posibly go wrong..................

[balo]

I'm sure there are a lot of people here with similiar experience like yourself , only 22 years difference between you, thats nothing really.

Don't worry, ,just make sure she's not a gold digger.....

[sideshow]

Mate! There's only 3 yrs difference between me and the misses............. , I often wonder about a younger model!!!

[stander]

Go for it, 20 is a good age as long as she has no baggage, i.e kids.

[afarang]

Mate! There's only 3 yrs difference between me and the misses............. , I often wonder about a younger model!!!

Nah, you won't get a good trade in price.The Govt. here has no subsidy for trading in Clunkers.But why would you want to? My lady is 46 ,love to look at the younger models, But they are HIGH MAINTENANCE models.Not worth the price

[bifftastic]

Online is online and real is real, take some time and get together first then see how you feel, I wouldn't worry about the age difference so much. Everyday interaction is the key, in my opinion.

What's it actually like to spend time with her, how does she carry herself, do you actually get on in a real life situation. Is the age difference apparent TO YOU when you're together.

Some 20 year olds are kinda 'young' in outlook and demeanour and some are cool, can handle themselves and don't appear to be out of their depth in your company.

Those are the things that will make it work or otherwise.

It's a good thing that you've made a connection, now you will need to find out if it stands the test of spending some quality time together.

Good luck

[robblok]

Call me a pessimist but i would not bet on you. She is in a totally different stage of her life. But yes there is a real small chance it will work out. Just make sure you guard your money wisely.

[farang000999]

If you met online how do you know she isn't chatting to 20 guys at once?

[Loz]

if your eyes are open and its all above board, where's the harm in trying. that was my argument for ladyboys too...gulp. actually, “gulp” could be opening myself up to misinterpretation :-)

[robblok]

If you met online how do you know she isn't chatting to 20 guys at once?

Happens a lot.. but guys do the same.

[MAJIC]

Transam's excellent Thread : entitled "For You That Knock Old Guys With Young Women"is still open,and very popular.

Some of the answers given would no doubt help, to ease your mind.

Personally, I dont think there is a definitive answer to your question,

were you to date, or marry someone your own age,who could say if it would work out or not?

Give it your best shot, sod the rest,and see what happens.

And the very best of Luck!

Edited November 1, 2010 by MAJIC

[GreenSnapper]

Why worry?

Look at all the bitter, angry men here with similar aged women. You are indeed lucky!

Go for it, but hurry. The internet dating scene moves fast and you are not the only one she is chatting with.

Keep cool mind though and don't spend too much money on her.

[Thongkorn]

` I am 56 my Thai wife is 35, I have never been married before, and i was never going to get married, i had a bad Thai lady from my direction but if you look from her direction she was good , she was at work and made a living off me,by lies and decided, she may have another victim, sorry boyfriend now, There are good and bad , i know i have a good one now or i would not have married her, I would think long and hard , money number one, and thats the truth, once you begin on your journey you will realize that you will be sending money home to mam and the family for the rest of your relationship ,If you can afford it then its up to you ,just remember she is at work now,But who knows that could change and many have. yes all of them have body's to die for and some falang do die for them , they get drunk, and fall out of locked doors and windows. , i have seen some slim gorgeous Thai Lady's go fat after a few months in the UK , better to go and meet sombody face to face that way you will learn , best of luck mate hope i have not pis. on your bonfire

[Beetlejuice]

Be wary of those you contact or contact you on those online dating sites.

Girls you meet from the Philippines, Eastern Europe and Africa are renowned as number one in the world for passport, visa and travel fare money scams.

The person convinces the guy that she is going to fly out to him and to send money for a passport, visa and airfare, then conveniently disappears and is never heard of again.

Do a Google search of the email address, name or any other details you have and see if it is listed on any scammer information sites.

http://www.filipinaromance.com/blog/

[KeyserSoze01]

I have met a girl online. She is dirt poor. Actually she is Filipina in Manila,

I didn't have to read any further.

One word of advice, RUN.

Please, do a little research before you step into the deep end of the pool.

Or, are you just looking for a pet?

Edited November 1, 2010 by KeyserSoze01

[chiang mai]

You have about three important questions that need to be answered here:

The first is whether a 20 year old female and a 42 year male can have a successful relationship and the answer to that question is a resounding yes, in my book.

The more important questions, I think are, can you expect to have a lasting relationship with someone whom you've only met on-line, if notes exchanged via the web are the sole basis for you thinking that you've met a good match then I think that's folly.

The third question is, do you really understand what's involved in a relationship between a western male and someone from a very poor country such as the PI. When you combine all three factors, age, poverty and an internet only relationship I think you're into a potentially high risk scenario.

So really this is not about the age difference it's about the other factors involved hence you perhaps need to refocus on them and not just on the age issue.

[lesdunbar]

G,day All,

I say go for it..I met Kessy on Thailovelinks

Kessy has just turned 28 years old (October)I turned 60 last june

We have been together for 5 years and married for four years. Best thing I have ever done.Were very Happy together

Wish you the best of luck whichever way you decide to go

Cheers n Beers,

lesdunbar

[sarahsbloke]

Just do it .... you know you want to.

Every relationship is a serious risk (especially in the western world where they can grab your home)

Much more fun, and much less risk in Asia.

Edited November 2, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Berkshire]

I think you've got several things working against you, the least important of which is the age difference. You've met this girl online, you barely know her, different culture, different language (although Filipinos do speak better English than most Asian women), different social status, etc. etc. But go for it--you only live once. Just one piece of advice: do not send money.

[ExpatJ]

Yes go ahead- if you can live with your wife playing around sometimes behind your back. I see so many young asian lady/old farang man marriages where the wife is having affairs with mostly younger thai/farang men. Yes, asian women married to farang man their same age may also cheat, but it happens much much more when the farang is old and their wife/gf is young.

Just go to any of the higher end clubs in Bangkok on a given night- Q bar, bed supper club etc. many younger girls going home with the young farang dudes who are open/happy to tell you their older farang husband is at home and doesn't enjoy going to clubs but lets his wife go out for 'a girls night out'

[Skeetjones]

Lol @ deleting my post. Folks can't stand a honest word on these forum

[chuang]

Go for it....age is not a barrier....if you gone through this forum you find many at 60 and the she at 30....

[mark45y]

OP are you married? Where do you live now?

Edited November 2, 2010 by mark45y

[champken]

I would say to you that the age difference shouldn't be your main concern here, i am 49 and my girl is 26 so about the same age gap, but you have only met her online? come on, you say your university educated and you cant work out the likely pitfalls of that? i would suggest that you get yourself over to the Philippines, take your time and you might well be able to find yourself a truly nice girl to settle down with, just make sure whether it be the Philippines or Thailand that you don't take one on that already has kids

[sarahsbloke]

Yes go ahead- if you can live with your wife playing around sometimes behind your back. I see so many young asian lady/old farang man marriages where the wife is having affairs with mostly younger thai/farang men. Yes, asian women married to farang man their same age may also cheat, but it happens much much more when the farang is old and their wife/gf is young.

Just go to any of the higher end clubs in Bangkok on a given night- Q bar, bed supper club etc. many younger girls going home with the young farang dudes who are open/happy to tell you their older farang husband is at home and doesn't enjoy going to clubs but lets his wife go out for 'a girls night out'

Girls from the Philippines rarely behave like this, the girls are usually devout catholics.

Edited November 3, 2010 by sarahsbloke