Hillbilly Medical Terms

Benign..........What you be after you be eight.

Bacteria............... BACK DOOR TO CAFETERIA.

Barium.............WHUT YOU DO WITH DEAD FOLKS.

Cesarean Section.......A neighborhood in Rome.

Catscan................Searching for the cat.

Cauterize......Made eye contact with her.

Colic..............A KIND OF SHEEP DOG.

Coma...............A punctuation mark.

D&C..............WHERE Washington is.

Dilate.............To live longer than your kids do.

Enema...........Not a friend.

Fester............Quicker than someone else.

Fibula............A small lie.

G.I. Series..... ....World Series of military baseball.

Hangnail...........WHAT YOU HANG YOUR COAT ON.

Impotent...........Distinguished, well known.

Labor Pain..........Getting hurt at work.

Morbid..............A higher offer than I bid.

Nitrates..........CHEAPER THAN DAY RATES.

Medical Staff.......A Doctor's cane, sometimes shown with a SNAKE.

Node....................I knew it

OUTPATIENT..............A PERSON WHO HAS FAINTED.

Pap Smear.............A fatherhood test.

PELVIS..................SECOND COUSIN TO ELVIS.

Post Operative...........A letter carrier.

Recovery Room....Place to do upholstery.

Secretion.......Hiding something

Tablet..........A small table to change babies on.

Seizure..........Roman emperor who lived in the Ceasarean Section.

Terminal Illness....Getting sick at the train station

TUMOR...............More than one.

Urine...............Opposite of mine.

Varicose............Near by

Hospital............The biggest building in town,

other than Joe's feed warehouse or Franks lumber mill.