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Mai Mee


Dr Hiram P. Klonky

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I ASKED

Pom yak kanum pang tan noy kap (i want bread and butter please)

low MAI MEE kanum pang (we no have bread)

low MEE kanum pang ping (we have toast)

YES I HAD TO ASK THE QUESTION.

koon me kanum pang ping mai suk cap (do you have toast thats not cooked)

KAP

KOON ME NOI MAI (do you have butter)

KAP

YES I HAD TO ASK AGAIN

POM YAK KANUM PANG PING MI SUK KAP TAN NOI KAP (can i have un cooked toast and butter)

KAP MI ME PAN HAR KAP

yes, no probled B):DB):oB)

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Guest IT Manager

I needed to buy some loxins, which for those not inclined towards building, are concrete anchor bolts.

I don't know what they are called in Thai so I went to the hardware shop and asked about bolts. Mai mee krub, as I leaned over 50 kg boxes of bolts. Hmmm bolt like this but for cement. Ahh. Mai mee.

Fed up, I went for a walk around the shop. Third row of aisle gondolas, there they were. Ahh sorry. 1 baht krub.

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Not a "mai mee" story, but frustrating as it was back then, it still makes me giggle today.

My ATM card stopped working. Every time I stuck it in the machine, got "Insufficient Data" back. Time for the dreaded trip to Siam Commercial Bank...

So after queuing to queue, my number gets called and I walk up to the counter. I hand over my card and say it's stopped working.

She slices it into the computer behind the counter, hands it back and tells me it works.

I hand it back to her and say that it really doesn't work. She slices it again and tells me that it does work again.

I hand it back to her yet again and ask if she wants to come outside so I can show her. At this point, she clocks on and asks me if I would like a new card. I say "Yes please".

She says that it'll cost me 300 baht. I say take it out of my account.

She says she can't do that and I have to use the ATM outside.

Marvelous.

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Here lads, heres a good one. Went in a bar a few years back, sukhumvit I think it was and got a "mai mee beer" right between the eyes! Tried to tell me there was an election going on or something. Must have thought I was born yesterday!

theyre not allowed to sell alcohol on election day or something along that line.

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It went to Tesco Lotus a few months back to buy a cordless house phone, I wanted a black one and there it was on the shelf. I called the service girl over and said I wanted this phone, then ofcourse she came back with a white one - I said I want a black one and she said "mai mee", I said "mee tee nee", she said cannot, that one is for show - why have something for show if your not selling them I said, she said mai ru, smiled and walked off. I have had this a few times in Lotus. Like a gentleman I smiled, purchased the white phone and was on my way!

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Oh dear. I really do appear to have touched a nerve here and you have to wonder how many maimees afflict people on a daily basis.

I hardly dare to raise a related question. What about Mai Dai? I seem to encounter these on a depressingly regular basis. Park car in car park? Mai Dai! Eat the same enticing food as the people on the next table? Mai Dai! (and mai mee).

Then there's the dreaded Mot. Many things one enquires about suddenly appear to be Mot Lairw just as soon as one expresses an interest, however mild. I wonder if anyone else suffers from these problems? Just a thought!

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