My Girlfriend Doesn'T Speak English

[DrAzTiK]

Hi, don't know if it's the good forum :/

I have meet a girl but she does'nt speak english at all.

Very difficult to communicate. Does it also happens to you girl and guys ? What do you advices to me ? I think I must speak thai lol.

Su

[Nawtier]

Why do you feel the need to talk to her ??

[mca]

Why do you feel the need to talk to her ??

He's having a massive heart attack and she thinks he's messing about.

Edited November 19, 2010 by mca

[ozzieovaseas]

Why do you feel the need to talk to her ??

Maybe you should direct your enquiry to the language forum,

But i have to agree with Nawtier, few words are needed in this situation, provided you know the meaning of:

Kin khaow= eat food

Kep Tarng= say this when asking for the bill from said food

boom boom= err, well im sure you know this one already

and the MOST important:

Hai

or

hai tao-rai,...to ask the question how much you will have to give her, for shopping, for her parents, for her rent..ect ect

IAC, Providing you understand all the above AND are providing AMPLE baht, your girl will most surely go to unbelievalbe lengths to make the communication barrier seem VERY insignificant..

Could work just fine both ways actually

[Jimi007]

It doesn't seem as though English is your first language either... Get an English Thai/Thai English dictionary and work on your communication together. Or there are translation dictionaries from Thai to other languages as well. Good luck. My GF spoke very little English when I met her two years ago, but I could speak some Thai and now she speaks more English than I can Thai... She learned English in school, but never used it.

[eurasianthai]

Speaking is overrated

[sbk]

Well, seems as though you have lots of mens opinions in the ladies forum, were you specifically interested in what women thought? If not, then I think this is better off in farang pub since most women probably will give you far different advice than what you are receiving now.

[little_muppet]

How did u get to the stage of gf/bf relationship without communication?? Thats thing i never understand to a couple that couldn't communicate properly to each other...

[DrAzTiK]

Tx for answer. I meet her in a dancing club . (Discovery in Chiang Mai).

I don't know how far we will go both. I post just in case some of you had already the same exprience. Many girls don't speak english at all in thailand. Bar girls and prostitute in thailande speak english very well but even if I like this sort of girl a lot, I also try to find differents girls ^^.

[sbk]

Moving to pub since it doesn't appear to have anything to do with the ladies forum

[needforspeed]

Leave it as it is , no English , no Thai just body language best way to go

[GizmoBKK]

DrAzTik,

I assume many of the answers were not necessarily what you expected to get, but there is obviously some reason for the snidely remarks: countless failed Farang-Thai relationships in Thailand.

I am not saying your relationship will not work. I just wonder, would you start a relationship with someone in your home country you cannot communicate with? This said, I am fully in line with little_muppet.

Others in this forum have different opinions, but for me communication is THE key in a good relationship. You have to decide how important that is for you.

What is it that really attracts you to each other?

Will you be willing to learn Thai? Will she be willing to learn English? How long will it take until you can communicate in a foreign language about what matters in a relationship? And how will you overcome this period?

Where's a will, there is a way. But spare yourself unnecessary pain. The "mocking people" on this forum may have some stories to tell, and once in a while it's worth listening to.

Best,

G.

[IanForbes]

The only question I can ask is ... How can you like her a lot when you can't even communicate? Physical beauty is appealing no question, and so is great sex, but you can't spend every day, all day in bed. At some point you are going to need to speak. Either you learn Thai or she learns English... and hopefully a bit of both. Personally, I think Thais learn reasonable English far quicker than westerners learn Thai.

Oh, and just one further addition. There are a few good books that show Thai phrases on one page and the identical phrases on the opposing page. Then, there are a series of answers to the questions. You can point to a phrase and both take time to answer. After that it can be fun and laughs while learning together.

Edited November 20, 2010 by IanForbes

[GooEng]

buy an english-thai dictionary/phrase book.

or, much better to buy thing they call here a talking-dic(talking dictionary).

the talking-dic is an electronic machine about the size of a calculator that you type in english and it then translates the word into thai for you, spells the thai word in english letters and says it for you too. the lady can also type in thai words and it will do the same - translate it into english, show her in thai letters how to say the word and say it for her.

the better machines will have a very large amount of words in them as well as many complete sentences and useful phrases for different places - resturants, family meetings, shops, hotels etc etc etc.

you can get them everywhere in thailand - try a tesco lotus or carrefour or central department store and go to the electronics section and just ask fior talking-dic, they will all know what you mean. i guess they start at 2 or 3 thousand baht but may even be cheaper - no idea how much the really advanced ones cost.

my personal experience is that learning each other's language is a useful and fun way for both of you to learn about each other.

good luck to you both!

[andrewbkk]

Why do you feel the need to talk to her ??

Awesome post.

[zaphodbeeblebrox]

My girlfriend's mother is an English teacher, so my girlfriend speaks English very well. Believe me, you don't want to know what they're saying!

[GooEng]

yes, learn thai at your own risk!

understanding the conversations going on around you and often ABOUT you is quite an eye opener - and i do not limit my remarks to bar chatter or similar, i am referring to things i have over heard professional office staff, department store assistants and hotel employees say.

and before anyone gets on their high-horse and has a go at me for thai-bashing - these are impartial observations of events, not personal opinions, and i doubt there is a single thai speaking farang who doesn't agree.

Edited November 21, 2010 by joe ekkamai

[ozzieovaseas]

yes, learn thai at your own risk!

understanding the conversations going on around you and often ABOUT you is quite an eye opener - and i do not limit my remarks to bar chatter or similar, i am referring to things i have over heard professional office staff, department store assistants and hotel employees say.

and before anyone gets on their high-horse and has a go at me for thai-bashing - these are impartial observations of events, not personal opinions, and i doubt there is a single thai speaking farang who doesn't agree.

I have to agree with you to some extent, but it should be noted that Thais more often say quite shocking things about each other, it isnt just the farang who cops it.

Try walking behind an extremely obese thai for a time and see what gets said within earshot.

Thais are not backwards in coming forwards and some tend to say it how it is without any thought for peoples feelings. Actually i know thais who are constantly on the recieving end and they seem to accept this treatment as a normal part of life. Also a lot of people do not get offended at being called fat, or whatever...they can accept the truth about themselves as they are, unlike us westerners

Anyway, IMO, if a thai who doesnt know you from squat makes some offhand comment that you are farang this,or farang that, it speaks more of that persons mentality really..which is something to be pitied if anything.

I was out and about walking somewhere a couple of years ago and a thai directed some unknown words in my direction, which i later found out were words reffering to someone who frequents prostitutes, and this was just a random stranger

Hard to be offended really. The only reason I remembered it years on was because it sounded similiar to a completely unrelated English word.

OP: Sorry, to be off topic, and also, i can see an earlier post of mine might have sounded mocking, which i do regret as i have been in the same situation as you in the past.

As others have mentioned your situation could be a good way to learn thai if you both have a little patience and are not the type to get easily frustrated..

In doing so, keep in mind you both might create your own sort of dialogue that others might not always be able to understand.

I would sometimes butcher the tones in my efforts, and unfortunately my former GF knew the thai word i was TRYING to say but couldnt be bothered (or was to lazy) in correcting me in the pronunciation, or correct tone. IMO this is the most dangerous aspect of learning thai in this way, as it can start bad habits which can make things harder later on.

SO..do try to tell her not to be shy in correcting you, and reassure her that you will not be offended if she has to correct you many times..just my two bobs worth.

Oh, and as mentioned before, do get a translation book with a reverse dictionary in the back..

ie English translated to the phonetic thai word, also with the word written in thai beside it..this will help you a lot.

IMO, A reasonable one to start with is the 15th edition "practical Thai"...its smallish (pocket size) and is a bright yellow colour which is hard to miss if you are looking for it in the shops.

[F1fanatic]

I've got a good English/Thai dictionary. English in the front (with the Thai translation obviously), and Thai in the back with the English translation.

The horrifying thing is that although I can use it when necessary to look up a word and explain what I mean - when I point out the Thai pages to someone that I don't understand, they go through it page by page (instead of just looking for the word alphabetically, as we do), and eventually give up! What the hel_l??

[Krupnik]

As you are living in Thailand it will be pretty easy to learn Thai. Start a class. It's cheap. Check out the language hub files on youtube. Get a DVD. Get an electronic dictionary or install the program if you have a good phone. Watch Thai movies with Eng subtitles (so that you'll have no problem with the slang etc.)

If you are serious and you can find a good teacher, you will pick it up quickly.

Does she want to speak English? You could pay for her to do the same.

I think that learning Thai is much easier for a westerner than for a Thai to learn English, although, like someone else said - Thais seem to learn English much quicker than we can learn Thai.

[Deserted]

DrAzTik,

I assume many of the answers were not necessarily what you expected to get, but there is obviously some reason for the snidely remarks: countless failed Farang-Thai relationships in Thailand.

I am not saying your relationship will not work. I just wonder, would you start a relationship with someone in your home country you cannot communicate with? This said, I am fully in line with little_muppet.

Others in this forum have different opinions, but for me communication is THE key in a good relationship. You have to decide how important that is for you.

What is it that really attracts you to each other?

Will you be willing to learn Thai? Will she be willing to learn English? How long will it take until you can communicate in a foreign language about what matters in a relationship? And how will you overcome this period?

Where's a will, there is a way. But spare yourself unnecessary pain. The "mocking people" on this forum may have some stories to tell, and once in a while it's worth listening to.

Best,

G.

Couldn't agree with you more. It's a shame that this forum is so often spoilt by thoughtless&childish remarks.

If the OP remains serious about his intentions, he should want to learn to speak Thai. You can't get anywhere far without communication.

[Richard W]

The horrifying thing is that although I can use it when necessary to look up a word and explain what I mean - when I point out the Thai pages to someone that I don't understand, they go through it page by page (instead of just looking for the word alphabetically, as we do), and eventually give up! What the hel_l??

• I get the impression that Thais don't know how simple the Thai alphabetical order is - it's no worse than French, not that Frenchmen know French accent ordering rules. Rather than work with a simple alphabetical order of 46 consonant-like symbols and then 16 vowel symbols, with tone marks etc, as mere tie-breaks, they go through the combinations of 44 (42 if you're lucky) consonants and about 28 vowel sign combinations. Even then, remembering to flip the preposed vowels with the following consonant adds to the mental effort required for an alphabetical search.
  
• A lot of Thais don't know which words have clusters with /r/ or /l/ - they normally don't pronounce them.
  
• I suspect a lot don't know the tone rules, which doubles the number of places to search if they can't remember the spelling of a word. Words of Indic origin make matters even more complicated.
  
• Some Thais think that in the first instance, words are ordered by their first syllable. That isn't how the ordering works - you don't have to know how to pronounce a Thai word to find a word in a dictionary - all you need is its spelling.
  

Given these complications, ploughing through page by page is, alas, not as daft as it seems.

[sarahsbloke]

I've got a good English/Thai dictionary. English in the front (with the Thai translation obviously), and Thai in the back with the English translation.

The horrifying thing is that although I can use it when necessary to look up a word and explain what I mean - when I point out the Thai pages to someone that I don't understand, they go through it page by page (instead of just looking for the word alphabetically, as we do), and eventually give up! What the hel_l??

Given these complications, ploughing through page by page is, alas, not as daft as it seems.

The answer is far simpler

Many Thais can barely read or write ...... they don't admit it ........... hence paging back and forth.

Back on Topic

When I met my wife she couldn't speak any English, we got married, me thinking great free Thai teacher.

9 months later, she speaks really good English, can nag me for hours ........ wish I had remained in your situation!

Edited December 19, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[mark45y]

A short while ago I penned a thread titled “Why I don't teach my girlfriend English.” It received a lot of comment, 17 pages 405 posts However, after all is said and done, learn Thai and forget about her learning English.

[LarryBird]

My opinion.. Find someone who can speak English VERY well. Always having to say things over again, and even avoiding conversation cause you know it's gonna be a hassle will get old. Otherwise, you may as well just be banging the maid.

[elliss]

Speaking is overrated

me and thai gf,

overcum any difficulties in commnuication ,

by using sign language ,

it,s easier than learning thai. :jap:

[LarryBird]

Sometimes communicating is more complicated than 'me go toilet' and 'salt'.

[w11guy]

yes, learn thai at your own risk!

understanding the conversations going on around you and often ABOUT you is quite an eye opener - and i do not limit my remarks to bar chatter or similar, i am referring to things i have over heard professional office staff, department store assistants and hotel employees say.

and before anyone gets on their high-horse and has a go at me for thai-bashing - these are impartial observations of events, not personal opinions, and i doubt there is a single thai speaking farang who doesn't agree.

So what did you hear people saying?

[StreetCowboy]

Sometimes communicating is more complicated than 'me go toilet' and 'salt'.

Speak for yourself...

[neverdie]

My misses speaks really good english. I wish she didnt