Wife

[payneo]

Hi, you must have heard this a thousand times before but here we go, i just married in bkk on 0/11 all sweet and ok, just returned to uk to find out i have no job my intension was to come back work hard to save money for visa for new wife, its all gone tits up, i have told my wife i have no work, she is worried about how can i care for her if i dont earn money, but she also say dont worry we wait for best time for us, i dont no when i will get work as this time of year its hard to find work in construction, her cuzin has offered work in phuket i said ok take it, she will be working in resturant she says, alll my friends have told me she will go back to her old ways, is this allways the case or can sum be trusted, she has told me dont worry my husband i love only you, you are in my heart all the time, i would like to say i can trust her but its the lack of money that worries me. what should i be thinking ? thanks for any reply good or bad.

[473geo]

Sadly you are between a rock and a hard place, and if you are not feeling too clever about your situation, you are probably not going to get much of a boost posting here.......only you can make your decisions about this unfortunate situation. Hope it works out the way you wish.

Edited November 21, 2010 by 473geo

[sarahsbloke]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

[bifftastic]

She'll tell you what she thinks you want to hear and do what she thinks she has to do.

[cdnvic]

If you have nothing useful to add keep it to yourself. Troll posts and replies deleted.

[stander]

Thai ladies are basically just the same as all other ladies, they seek to marry a partner who can love them, take care of them and offer the financial stability to allow them to raise a family and live happily through the ups and downs of life.

[Mossfinn]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

What demographic are you relating to? All Thais, particular Thais, Thais from the city, Thais from the outlying villages, or other? Or an all encompassing catch-all?

[needforspeed]

Do you trust her?

So don't make your head going crazy, why spoiling your feeling and relation by guessing what is going on there.

She is there to work, if you had your job she would go there, she just helping you out here.

[skybluestu]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

What demographic are you relating to? All Thais, particular Thais, Thais from the city, Thais from the outlying villages, or other? Or an all encompassing catch-all?

I'm interested to know this too! Any research to back this ridiculous statement up? Or yet another anti-thai-women post in the general forum?!

[jackr]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

I think you're talking a load of <deleted> there, my friend. Perhaps the type you hang with, but probably 95% of Thai women are overly conservative for such a scenario.

Op, if you're not trolling, reckon you already know what she'll be getting up to. Money is king!

Edited November 22, 2010 by jackr

[bifftastic]

Do you trust her?

So don't make your head going crazy, why spoiling your feeling and relation by guessing what is going on there.

She is there to work, if you had your job she would go there, she just helping you out here.

Very good point!

No need to let yourself go round and round it all in your head. Things have turned a bit shit but see how it goes. You know what they say....

Don't think too much!

[bifftastic]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

What demographic are you relating to? All Thais, particular Thais, Thais from the city, Thais from the outlying villages, or other? Or an all encompassing catch-all?

I'm interested to know this too! Any research to back this ridiculous statement up? Or yet another anti-thai-women post in the general forum?!

The latter, I believe.

[sarahsbloke]

I'm interested to know this too! Any research to back this ridiculous statement up? Or yet another anti-thai-women post in the general forum?!

Why on earth would you consider that an 'anti-thai-women' post ....... sex is natural, the Victorians created a twisted and unnatural society. Too many posters on this forum judge everyone by severely twisted standards of the Victorians (Puritans in the USA).

I think you're talking a load of <deleted> there, my friend. Perhaps the type you hang with, but probably 95% of Thai women are overly conservative for such a scenario.

And I think you actually know very few Thai ladies, the conservative front some put up is just that ...... a front.

Edited November 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[sidjameson]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

I think you're talking a load of <deleted> there, my friend. Perhaps the type you hang with, but probably 95% of Thai women are overly conservative for such a scenario.

Op, if you're not trolling, reckon you already know what she'll be getting up to. Money is king!

This is pretty funny. You say the man is talking nonsense that Thai women view sex differently, and then the very next sentence allude to the fact YOU think his wife will start having sex for money, which is very different attitude than most western women would have.

[meom]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

I think you're talking a load of <deleted> there, my friend. Perhaps the type you hang with, but probably 95% of Thai women are overly conservative for such a scenario.

Op, if you're not trolling, reckon you already know what she'll be getting up to. Money is king!

Money is king indeed but if he's found the right woman she'll take care of him sharing her earnings. As long as he's comfortable with the work she does nothing the matter really. Sex for work is just work and that's all there is to it really.

[DP25]

IMHO Thai ladies view sex in an entirely different way to us from the west.

As one Thai lady said to me, I eat, I drink, I sleep and I have sex. If my husband is around when I want sex, I have sex with him, if he isn't around, pretty much anyone else will do.

Mostly they don't understand our views on monogamy, if you want her to only have sex with you .... best to keep with her.

Once I met a Thai lady that managed to hold out for over 2 weeks when her husband was away, she was unusual.

Just my opinion, your wife may be different, but if she isn't, that doesn't mean she doesn't love you.

What demographic are you relating to? All Thais, particular Thais, Thais from the city, Thais from the outlying villages, or other? Or an all encompassing catch-all?

I'm not sure what demographic he is talking about, but the demographic he is aiming at is 'Farang who have only been to Soi Cowboy' and 'Farang who will get outraged by ridiculously insulting ignorant comments'

[sarahsbloke]

I'm not sure what demographic he is talking about, but the demographic he is aiming at is 'Farang who have only been to Soi Cowboy' and 'Farang who will get outraged by ridiculously insulting ignorant comments'

Maybe the demographic I was talking about was 'morally superior western people who believe sex is evil, bad or in some way unnatural and only date/marry Thai/Chinese hi-so university graduates'

But they would not have anything to contribute to this thread, as the OP had fairly clearly described the type of girl he had married .....

As to Soi Cowboy, sorry I can't comment as I have never been anywhere like that.

Edited November 22, 2010 by sarahsbloke

[Berkshire]

This statement really says it all: "...all my friends have told me she will go back to her old ways."

So what the OP is saying is that this woman is a former/current bargirl. All I can say is read Stickman. Many a trainwrecks can be found with farangs who fall for bargirls. But I'm sure both you and her are "different."

[ChangMaiSausage]

I would not be happy but what can you do the OP is stuck in the UK and his wife is in Thialand, no matter how many time he speaks to her she will do what is necessary to maintain a certain life style (everyone's is different)

Good luck on your job search and I hope the wife stays true to her word.

[backfromouterspace]

alll my friends have told me she will go back to her old ways

If by 'old ways' you mean she was a lesbian ( But you converted her with your dashing good looks, wit and repartee and converted her) Then where's the harm if she reverts to kitty hunting.

[onnut]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

[Loz]

Stable door slams shut after the horse has bolted... but!

You should never tell your missus if you have a financial set back. You just fix it. That's your job. If you foul up your job then you need to learn to do it better. lessons to follow:

1: your wife is a mushroom. keep her in the dark and feed her shi*

2: your the man now. Act like it. That means fix your shi* don't go running to your wife about it.

3: Understand relationship dynamics - she puts out when she THINKS you can take care of her and hers

4: The only truly happy endings occur during short time relationships. Expect toil and trouble in any other kind and be ready to man up to it.

5: Grow a pair.

:jap:

[Boater]

oh no

[Loz]

Apologies for my lack of tact and diplomacy.

On the up side, "A lesson bought is a lesson taught." And I sense the OP will being paying for this one.

Out of interest, how much was the sinsod for your marriage.

ps. apologies for confusing you all by writing your when I mean to write you're. sometimes my fingers get ahead of my brain.

[Thongkorn]

Maybe she is like a lot of other genuine Thai people , True to her word, Why think bad about the situation, There are jobs about in the UK, probly not what you are use to, but there is work,

[payneo]

Do you trust her?

So don't make your head going crazy, why spoiling your feeling and relation by guessing what is going on there.

She is there to work, if you had your job she would go there, she just helping you out here.

My heart trusts her but head thinks different, yes she has said that if she works in resturant it is to help us and i can send as much or as little as i can manage, she has said she wil help me to pay for visa app, ive only been back 5 day now and my heads in a spin over no job now, she knows im just a working class guy and dont have the riches that some has, i told her this from the very start, and she has allways told me she dont care about this she loves and wants me for who i am and not what i have. thanks for you answer.

[payneo]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

[needforspeed]

Do you trust her?

So don't make your head going crazy, why spoiling your feeling and relation by guessing what is going on there.

She is there to work, if you had your job she would go there, she just helping you out here.

My heart trusts her but head thinks different, yes she has said that if she works in resturant it is to help us and i can send as much or as little as i can manage, she has said she wil help me to pay for visa app, ive only been back 5 day now and my heads in a spin over no job now, she knows im just a working class guy and dont have the riches that some has, i told her this from the very start, and she has allways told me she dont care about this she loves and wants me for who i am and not what i have. thanks for you answer.

Just practical thinking, you want her in the UK.

You don’t need to be rich to get her a visa for the UK and you been married already.

I would go for that, find a job mate i know isn’t easy this period of the year but any job will do at this moment.

Get your paperwork sorted out and get her over to the UK, much information on Thai visa on this matter and many knowledgeable people who are willing to give you free advice.

All the best and good luck finding a job and getting your love over.

NFS

[onnut]

I had girlfreinds in my western past that I knew i couldnt ever marry, just something at the back of my head telling me this. they were great girlfriends at the time though and I was happy to know them, but could never of married any of them. when I met my Thai wife, it was a completly diferent feeling after a while of course. and I know deep in my heart I can trust her with everything, she backs me up 100% all of the time because I do the same for her. now after 8 years together and 5 years of marriage with a two year old, I feel this even more, it gets stronger as we go along.

It doesnt matter if your wife was a bar girl or a doctor when you met her! what matters is, if you dont trust her <deleted> did you get married in the first place?

I do trust her from my heart but my head is in a spin, i get married come home to no job, she is my wife i should be able to care for her, and i married cuz i love her and vise versa, and i hope that we to can have a long happy marriage likes yours.

Ok, Good answer. if you trust her, let her do what she needs to do in Phuket while you are away. concentrate on finding work, there is plenty about if you want it. you will soon be back on your feet.

FYI, I lost my job 1 year ago, and all year its been backwards for us, but we both got stuck in and didnt give up. we are on the way back up now, but its been a slogg. keep pushing forward and you will get there if you want to.

[JAM1E]

Bring her over to the U.K. to join the growing number of thai ladies already here. Here you can keep an eye on her just in case she goes back to her old ways. (Not saying she would)

Then help her find work in a Thai resturant or some other type of work she can do.

Best of both world your mrs is with you in the U.K. and she will earn you a couple of quid for a pint Until you get back in work..

Good luck

Jam1e