Drink Daily/Evening Non-Stop: Need To Sort This S#It Out

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

F#ck - where to start. I guess anyone posting their alcohol problems has to start somewhere, so here seems right for me, this is the first place, people, I'm I suppose asking for some advice, support, I don't know - a kick up the arse, a shake up if that's what you call it.

I'm truly reflective typing this and what a f#cking messed up passed 20 yrs.

I'm 35 now, I have drinking contained to the evening, sort of, unless it's weekends, then I just lose days. I drink by myself. I miss peoples nights out, birthdays, visits from people I love because I've inevitably started drinking when I get back from work or when I wake up.

It's f#cked up. When people ask where you were I conjure up some BS.

I'm in Bangkok. I'm not after religious support - sorry - but was wondering if anyone could advise on some AA support or just some wake-up get your arse in gear comments.

Thanks, sorry, not sure what else to say although there is shit load but pointless in the end.

[saakura]

Have faith in yourself, you will definitely get this sorted out. There have been worse cases who are now clean. Some good advise will surely follow.

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

Have faith in yourself, you will definitely get this sorted out. There have been worse cases who are now clean. Some good advise will surely follow.

Thanks. Your comment means alot. What a foul sauce this is.

[PC800]

Okay, you have taken a step already. You realize there's a problem. Google AA-Thailand and go to a meeting. Try it. Many meetings and many kinds, all with the same help available. I was 33 when I went to my first meeting. For me it clicked. Don't take the first drink. I was having problems of all sorts but especially money problems. I was going to try quitting for one year. That was my plan. Quit long enough to get it together. Now, it's 30 years later. There is hope. You don't have to do it alone.

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

Okay, you have taken a step already. You realize there's a problem. Google AA-Thailand and go to a meeting. Try it. Many meetings and many kinds, all with the same help available. I was 33 when I went to my first meeting. For me it clicked. Don't take the first drink. I was having problems of all sorts but especially money problems. I was going to try quitting for one year. That was my plan. Quit long enough to get it together. Now, it's 30 years later. There is hope. You don't have to do it alone.

Hi, thanks for your reply.

Can I ask, did you give up when single or did you have support? Can I also ask did you open up to your family about this or keep it secret. Sorry if this sounds intrusive. Not meaning to be but just wondering what course people take and which has worked for you.

[thrilled]

You definitely have an alcohol addiction problem.The first thing that you need to do is want to stop.Until you do nothing will change.

When you get to the point that you want to stop then AA or other places like it are the way to go.I have experience with A friend who started programming over 32 years ago.PM me i'll give ya his email.You can call him also but he's in the us.He has been A sponsor of many people in AA and also NA.Good luck,you need to take the 1st step.Good luck to ya.

[StreetCowboy]

Okay, you have taken a step already. You realize there's a problem. Google AA-Thailand and go to a meeting. Try it. Many meetings and many kinds, all with the same help available. I was 33 when I went to my first meeting. For me it clicked. Don't take the first drink. I was having problems of all sorts but especially money problems. I was going to try quitting for one year. That was my plan. Quit long enough to get it together. Now, it's 30 years later. There is hope. You don't have to do it alone.

Hi, thanks for your reply.

Can I ask, did you give up when single or did you have support? Can I also ask did you open up to your family about this or keep it secret. Sorry if this sounds intrusive. Not meaning to be but just wondering what course people take and which has worked for you.

I never really shared with my wife; I used to go to AA meetings in the time that I normally went to the pub on the way home from work... I thought that if there was one thing that would really encourage me go out on a bender, it was my wife nagging me to go, or not to go, to an AA meeting. Or saying "I thought you weren't drinking..."

Though of course no-one makes us go drinking - that's our own decision - for the first drink, anyway...

So when I realised that I could not stop by myself - I was quite happy to not drink at the weekends, when I was with the family, but left to my own devices, I couldn't fill a day without drinking - I started going to AA meetings; you're liucky in BKK since there is more than one meeting a day, at various times, and quite easy to get to (depending on where you live, I suppose!)

Very best of luck

SC

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

Okay, you have taken a step already. You realize there's a problem. Google AA-Thailand and go to a meeting. Try it. Many meetings and many kinds, all with the same help available. I was 33 when I went to my first meeting. For me it clicked. Don't take the first drink. I was having problems of all sorts but especially money problems. I was going to try quitting for one year. That was my plan. Quit long enough to get it together. Now, it's 30 years later. There is hope. You don't have to do it alone.

Hi, thanks for your reply.

Can I ask, did you give up when single or did you have support? Can I also ask did you open up to your family about this or keep it secret. Sorry if this sounds intrusive. Not meaning to be but just wondering what course people take and which has worked for you.

I never really shared with my wife; I used to go to AA meetings in the time that I normally went to the pub on the way home from work... I thought that if there was one thing that would really encourage me go out on a bender, it was my wife nagging me to go, or not to go, to an AA meeting. Or saying "I thought you weren't drinking..."

Though of course no-one makes us go drinking - that's our own decision - for the first drink, anyway...

So when I realised that I could not stop by myself - I was quite happy to not drink at the weekends, when I was with the family, but left to my own devices, I couldn't fill a day without drinking - I started going to AA meetings; you're liucky in BKK since there is more than one meeting a day, at various times, and quite easy to get to (depending on where you live, I suppose!)

Very best of luck

SC

Thanks for your honest reply.

I'm think of telling my folks but would rather do it without them knowing. Self pride I guess.

Fortunately daytime work gets me back into normality but it's the evenings which are the battle.

The last time I stopped was for 5 days in 2007. My ex gf was preparing to leave the country for a new job so wanted everything "real" with her up until that date. Amazing effect people can have on you.

Anyway - many thanks.

Time to do this.

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

You definitely have an alcohol addiction problem.The first thing that you need to do is want to stop.Until you do nothing will change.

When you get to the point that you want to stop then AA or other places like it are the way to go.I have experience with A friend who started programming over 32 years ago.PM me i'll give ya his email.You can call him also but he's in the us.He has been A sponsor of many people in AA and also NA.Good luck,you need to take the 1st step.Good luck to ya.

I definitely do you are right.

Thank for your offer.

I gona bite the bullet and go to a group.

Today though having done some research came across Antabuse.

Turns out it's only available in hospitals - correct me if wrong. I tried various pharmacies but no luck. Tried Boots, Watsons and some Thai stores.

I'll repost here when I've made that first step.

[Deserted]

If you really do want to stop drinking in the evenings and the weekend, why not pick up extra work to cover those periods of time? Then you wouldn't be in the house and drinking. Instead you'll be out doing stuff. You may still drink a bit but it wouldn't be as much and small steps are often important in fixing larger problems.

[sweeex]

Hi, You are on the right track! asking for advice like this!

I am 44 now and I know for a fact that I was´nt ready to do something about my drinking problem 10 years ago!

this when one hits the bottom is very individual, but our common problem is so very recogizeble among us.

You dont want any religous help, you write, !

ok, AA can for the newcomer seem religous,, my advice is that try to get your self to a meeting . (several each day in bkk,) and try to set the religous talk about god aside, focus on the fact that many thousands alcoholics like us are sober this day today due to AA.

When I hit my lowest level, and life was about to fall totaly apart,,, I were in rehab and then I surrended and thought " if they can be sober and have such a good life they say they have? why shouldnt I?" so,, I let my gard down and ,,"ok! I do what they say," be honest, atend meetings! one step at the time.. I knew were my self control, and my will to ster my life in my direction, had taken me so far!!down,,, down down,

Now I have been sober 2 years 3 months. and will go to bed sober tonight aswell! wake up sober tomorrow!!

Dont rush it, sober up, go to a meeting, you will recognize yourself in the story´s you´ll hear! it´s easyer to walk this path together with people in our situation.

I can only speak for myself, but I would not be sober this day today ! if it was not for AA,

Take care.

Bye the way,, you will be supprised to find what support you´ll get when you decide to share your problems with famely, usually they know so mush more than we think they do!

for me it was a relice to tell, and a humbeling experiance to get the suppurt I got, I did not have to lye anymore,

Edited December 8, 2010 by sweeex

[StreetCowboy]

Okay, you have taken a step already. You realize there's a problem. Google AA-Thailand and go to a meeting. Try it. Many meetings and many kinds, all with the same help available. I was 33 when I went to my first meeting. For me it clicked. Don't take the first drink. I was having problems of all sorts but especially money problems. I was going to try quitting for one year. That was my plan. Quit long enough to get it together. Now, it's 30 years later. There is hope. You don't have to do it alone.

Hi, thanks for your reply.

Can I ask, did you give up when single or did you have support? Can I also ask did you open up to your family about this or keep it secret. Sorry if this sounds intrusive. Not meaning to be but just wondering what course people take and which has worked for you.

I never really shared with my wife; I used to go to AA meetings in the time that I normally went to the pub on the way home from work... I thought that if there was one thing that would really encourage me go out on a bender, it was my wife nagging me to go, or not to go, to an AA meeting. Or saying "I thought you weren't drinking..."

Though of course no-one makes us go drinking - that's our own decision - for the first drink, anyway...

So when I realised that I could not stop by myself - I was quite happy to not drink at the weekends, when I was with the family, but left to my own devices, I couldn't fill a day without drinking - I started going to AA meetings; you're liucky in BKK since there is more than one meeting a day, at various times, and quite easy to get to (depending on where you live, I suppose!)

Very best of luck

SC

Thanks for your honest reply.

I'm think of telling my folks but would rather do it without them knowing. Self pride I guess.

Fortunately daytime work gets me back into normality but it's the evenings which are the battle.

The last time I stopped was for 5 days in 2007. My ex gf was preparing to leave the country for a new job so wanted everything "real" with her up until that date. Amazing effect people can have on you.

Anyway - many thanks.

Time to do this.

For me, drinking was just what I did between everything else - and instead of everything else, because I was too lazy / unimaginative to come up with more exciting alternatives. I still am - so I go to AA meetings instead.

I travelled all over the world, going to the pub to be sociable, and I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of real friends I met there; and yet in any AA meeting within a few visits you'll make good friends with whom you have only two things in common - you are both alcoholics with a desire not to drink...

Very best wishes, and I hope things go well!

SC

[ding]

You're not alone lookingfornofixbeingthefix.

I've met many people over my decades of sobriety that scare the snot bubbles out of me by their openly-given stories of mayhem. And I have found myself enough of that same pain too. I hope you've given yourself enough pain and give AA a try -if you're an alky.

You never have to drink again. No person, no place, and no thing -can EVER make you take a drink or drug again. If I can do it, absolutely anyone can do it.

In the beginning I lived to get my bu*t in the next AA meeting. I read the Big Book because I'd drunk too much coffee in the 3 or 4 meetings that day. I was a bad drunk, so I needed every bit of AA wisdom those old timers would give me. And it was free. And nobody was cramming some theology down my throat - that would have turned me right around.

Don't let the talk of 'higher power' or 'god' run you off. In AA, we're all here because we're not all there.

You're obviously a bright guy - and beware of that. This is a cunning disease trying to convince you that you don't have a disease. PM anytime bro. And welcome home.

[grandslam]

You're not alone lookingfornofixbeingthefix.

I've met many people over my decades of sobriety that scare the snot bubbles out of me by their openly-given stories of mayhem. And I have found myself enough of that same pain too. I hope you've given yourself enough pain and give AA a try -if you're an alky.

You never have to drink again. No person, no place, and no thing -can EVER make you take a drink or drug again. If I can do it, absolutely anyone can do it.

In the beginning I lived to get my bu*t in the next AA meeting. I read the Big Book because I'd drunk too much coffee in the 3 or 4 meetings that day. I was a bad drunk, so I needed every bit of AA wisdom those old timers would give me. And it was free. And nobody was cramming some theology down my throat - that would have turned me right around.

Don't let the talk of 'higher power' or 'god' run you off. In AA, we're all here because we're not all there.

You're obviously a bright guy - and beware of that. This is a cunning disease trying to convince you that you don't have a disease. PM anytime bro. And welcome home.

Edited December 12, 2010 by grandslam

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

You're not alone lookingfornofixbeingthefix.

I've met many people over my decades of sobriety that scare the snot bubbles out of me by their openly-given stories of mayhem. And I have found myself enough of that same pain too. I hope you've given yourself enough pain and give AA a try -if you're an alky.

You never have to drink again. No person, no place, and no thing -can EVER make you take a drink or drug again. If I can do it, absolutely anyone can do it.

In the beginning I lived to get my bu*t in the next AA meeting. I read the Big Book because I'd drunk too much coffee in the 3 or 4 meetings that day. I was a bad drunk, so I needed every bit of AA wisdom those old timers would give me. And it was free. And nobody was cramming some theology down my throat - that would have turned me right around.

Don't let the talk of 'higher power' or 'god' run you off. In AA, we're all here because we're not all there.

You're obviously a bright guy - and beware of that. This is a cunning disease trying to convince you that you don't have a disease. PM anytime bro. And welcome home.

Thanks man, sorry for such the late reply. I won't lie, have yet to face it head on.

Been on the hunt for Antabuse but nowehere has it - except hospitals so next stop Burumgrad. Last weekend was half fail, but daytime drinking free.

Christmas coming up and there's another excuse - I did one day last weak by telling myself to stop being such a weak c#nt, took a couple of sleeping pills but I know that's not the way forward.

Ok, so I have to start by going to meetings then.

There's no point me reposting here until I've made headway as it will be just the same regurgitated schpeel.

Doing it alone seems duanting but hey, "you" are living proof it can be done so I thank you for that.

Here's to 2011 being my old self.

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

Hi, You are on the right track! asking for advice like this!

I am 44 now and I know for a fact that I was´nt ready to do something about my drinking problem 10 years ago!

this when one hits the bottom is very individual, but our common problem is so very recogizeble among us.

You dont want any religous help, you write, !

ok, AA can for the newcomer seem religous,, my advice is that try to get your self to a meeting . (several each day in bkk,) and try to set the religous talk about god aside, focus on the fact that many thousands alcoholics like us are sober this day today due to AA.

When I hit my lowest level, and life was about to fall totaly apart,,, I were in rehab and then I surrended and thought " if they can be sober and have such a good life they say they have? why shouldnt I?" so,, I let my gard down and ,,"ok! I do what they say," be honest, atend meetings! one step at the time.. I knew were my self control, and my will to ster my life in my direction, had taken me so far!!down,,, down down,

Now I have been sober 2 years 3 months. and will go to bed sober tonight aswell! wake up sober tomorrow!!

Dont rush it, sober up, go to a meeting, you will recognize yourself in the story´s you´ll hear! it´s easyer to walk this path together with people in our situation.

I can only speak for myself, but I would not be sober this day today ! if it was not for AA,

Take care.

Bye the way,, you will be supprised to find what support you´ll get when you decide to share your problems with famely, usually they know so mush more than we think they do!

for me it was a relice to tell, and a humbeling experiance to get the suppurt I got, I did not have to lye anymore,

Thanks man, again, apologies for not responding sooner.

Not much to tell apart from that I haven't taken the first step yet but your reply means alot, thank you.

[lookingfornofixbeingthefix]

If you really do want to stop drinking in the evenings and the weekend, why not pick up extra work to cover those periods of time? Then you wouldn't be in the house and drinking. Instead you'll be out doing stuff. You may still drink a bit but it wouldn't be as much and small steps are often important in fixing larger problems.

Yes, you are right. That is one way that it restricts it. At one point I was working all day, the four evenings a week, a couple of hours on Saturday and all day Sunday, but I still drank every evening I seem to recall. Having a GF in the past helped. The one I was really into but had to leave the country for work didn't know my daytime/nocturnal habits prior but when I was with her I didn't want to drink and went many evenings without. My other one after I wasn't so into and she didn't have that effect on me, or I didn't respect her enough or something.

I'm not whining but it's just interesting what effect people can have on you.

Anyway, thanks for your reply, it's definitely a way to make small steps at restricting it.

[GrahamF]

If you really do want to stop drinking in the evenings and the weekend, why not pick up extra work to cover those periods of time? Then you wouldn't be in the house and drinking. Instead you'll be out doing stuff. You may still drink a bit but it wouldn't be as much and small steps are often important in fixing larger problems.

Yes, you are right. That is one way that it restricts it. At one point I was working all day, the four evenings a week, a couple of hours on Saturday and all day Sunday, but I still drank every evening I seem to recall. Having a GF in the past helped. The one I was really into but had to leave the country for work didn't know my daytime/nocturnal habits prior but when I was with her I didn't want to drink and went many evenings without. My other one after I wasn't so into and she didn't have that effect on me, or I didn't respect her enough or something.

I'm not whining but it's just interesting what effect people can have on you.

Anyway, thanks for your reply, it's definitely a way to make small steps at restricting it.

Good for you that you've taken the first step of admitting that you may have a problem with alcohol. I strongly urge you to bite the bullet and check out an AA meeting. I found the AA website, aathailand.org and it looks like there are a lot of meetings in BKK during the afternoons and evenings, so it won't be hard to find one. You're right about people having an effect on you and you may find that the people in AA will effect you in a very positive way.

Using antabuse or campral is all very well, but alcoholism is a two part disease. There is the physical need of course, the high the alcoholic gets from booze, but there is the mental obsession as well. It's all about not taking that first drink, as many alcoholics will tell you, "One drink is too much and 1000 drinks is never enough." I think you might find a combination of drugs and AA will be very helpful to you.

Good luck to you!

[mommysboy]

Most of the advice you've already received is excellent.

I think something like this needs to be addressed emotionally too, otherwise all our best efforts fall by the way side. And in any case sudden change is not good.

Nothing is quite what it seems where alcohol is concerned- so you have some people who don't drink much but are alcoholics, whereas others with binge behaviour who may not be.

Is there any way you can moderate? I keep things in check by eating a lot, drinking lots of other liquids between drinks,and doing plenty of exercise which might keep me away from the booze anyway. If you are keen on one particular sport consider putting your energy in to that.

Finally, it could be you just really like a good drink, certainly it also seems an escape for you. So I think just containing the problem would be best strategy at present.

Maybe as you said you need to be told to get your act together, so come on, get your act together.

[StreetCowboy]

mommysboy: thanks for your input; I tried moderation (I know we're not supposed to discuss it here..) but it inevitably led to binging. I find drink gives me a thirst, a little more impairs my decision-making, and before I know it, I'm off to the races again. Maybe not on the first night, but on the second night, I think - that wasn't so bad, so I'll have three pints again - but this time I'm more tired because it was past midnight when I got to bed on the first night, and maybe I start a little bit earlier, and ...

Anyway, moderation is something you have to try for yourself - and maybe it will work, or maybe it won't; and maybe you'll learn that quickly, or slowly...

[grandslam]

Street Cowboy and Ding in fact all replies inspirational. OP do it now take your first step. The most courageous

thing you will ever do. Very, very good luck to you. I am 6 months sober, some willpower, a good look at

myself before and after and a couple of AA meetings. Every day is a challenge but now everyday is different

and worthwhile and this is down to staying sober.

[ding]

Street Cowboy and Ding in fact all replies inspirational. OP do it now take your first step. The most courageous

thing you will ever do. Very, very good luck to you. I am 6 months sober, some willpower, a good look at

myself before and after and a couple of AA meetings. Every day is a challenge but now everyday is different

and worthwhile and this is down to staying sober.

grandslam hits a grand slam! Grats on the 6 months. If you're like me, you could never have imagined 6 months with NO booze. Some folks can do it without AA. Not me. I'm told that old Norwegian fishermen quit cold turkey often. Seems like the OP is a great guy and I hope he cuts himself a break -however he does it.

[seedy]

None of the AA meetings I attended 17 years ago mentioned a God.

Calling on your higher power to assist you as you were powerless over alcohol is what was mentioned.

After sobriety came the hard part for me - changing my life.

Good luck to you.

Edited January 16, 2011 by seedy