Is it a full moon yet ? So many grumpy old men on this one. I think Loz has got to the core. It really is decision time.

FROM HER SIDE:

She needs security = money = farlang = providing for parents = saving face from the cultural perception that as she has already been married and FAILED, especially as she is a teacher.

And what of love oh grasshopper?! Well he's an ok guy,and I like him, and he can be manipulated with sweet talk = love thai style.

FROM YOUR SIDE:

I think she loves me, and we get on well, and its not a lot of money, and its the custom. OK then.

But jing jing! Love, and sex are tradeable assets in Thailand.

There is no such thing as 'for richer or poorer, and for better or worse' Its a western concept !!!

So the real question is - Is there enough in this relationship for me -right now? -knowing its not about love, or my body. But it is about the size of my... wait for it.... bank balance and my ability to support a growing number of people for a long time!

( Well yes I'm a bit grumpy today - have just started a diet.)

I have told my wife... that many people don't spell well, and its actually "Four Richer, Four Poorer, Four Better and Four Worse.... So be good or she'll end up as one of 16 !"

I'm betting it's #1 and #3 for her and #2 and #4 for him...:jap:

its thai culture, you wont change it , get used to it or walk away and marry a farang but how much will that cost you i have to laugh at all you guys wingeing and moaning about paying to marry your thai wife, if you met a farang girlfriend would you not buy her some nice gold jewellrey , nice clothes, maybe a car if you had the money ? stop gurning and crying about it and just pay it if you have any respect for the girl you are going to marry .

After all, 40,000 baht is not a huge amount of money, and I'll probably be paying that anyway over a few years, just helping them along every month or so. Why not label it "Sin Sot" and keep em happy ? Especially if I DON'T have to pay anything for a while after the wedding and Sin Sot.

My problem is with my fiancee's thinking.

You're right, 40K baht is not a huge amount of money and makes you look a stingy git. Still, it's 40K more than I would pay so what does that tell you?

its thai culture, you wont change it , get used to it or walk away and marry a farang but how much will that cost you i have to laugh at all you guys wingeing and moaning about paying to marry your thai wife, if you met a farang girlfriend would you not buy her some nice gold jewellrey , nice clothes, maybe a car if you had the money ? stop gurning and crying about it and just pay it if you have any respect for the girl you are going to marry .

Marrying (or divorcing!) a farang girl can be expensive, but on the other hand we can generally expect she has higher earning potential too. I would not buy expensive jewellery for any girl - regardless of nationality - unless I had money to burn, but maybe that's just me.

All I know is that when I once told her father (through her) that I didn't want to pay, he apparently walked around all day in a really bad mood.

I bet he did!

He was probably walking around trying to figure out why you are not stupid. After all, you are a falang, right?