The Case Against Sin Soht - And Other Reasons Not To Give Thai Women Money

[Boater]

The Case against Sin Soht—and other reasons not to give Thai women money

“...be advised even by strangers, who have proved what sufferings await you, and shake your hands of this mad undertaking."

The quote above was a warning given to Anna Leonowans before taking a job as a governess at the Siamese court in the mid-19th century. Her book, of course, was the inspiration for “Anna and the King.” Her memoirs should be required reading for every farang who comes to Thailand. The Thais hate her and the book is banned. Do you know why? Because she describes them perfectly.

Let me say this straight out: If you are a farang, you don’t have to pay sin soht. Let me say this again: If you are a farang, you don’t have to pay sin soht. Do you know why you don’t have to pay? You are not Thai.

In the past, when a Thai couple got married, the wife’s parents would donate land to the couple, and the sin soht money donated by the groom’s parents was used to build a house or start a household. Or the money was returned to the couple when they had their first baby. It was money to be held in a kind of escrow for the couple. It wasn’t used to support the wife’s parents. And if the wife caused the marriage to break up, the man had every right to get his money/property back. People need to remember that Thailand is a developing country. The notion of throwing around cash as part of sin soht is a fairly new phenomena. Just as in the case of whores, farang pay far too much money for the type of women they are procuring for marriage. Of course, paying something for nothing is always too much when you should be getting it for free. Also, this whole notion of paying a dowry for a Thai woman is something akin to Thais celebrating Halloween or Christmas. Paying a dowry for a woman is a Chinese tradition. It isn’t even Thai. So basically you have a bunch of farang guys running around trying to be Chinese when they think they are being Thai. Pretty fxxxing absurd.

If your Thai woman is reasonable and understanding (which is usually never) she will neither expect nor will demand sin soht-- and neither will her parents. But unfortunately, there are some Thai women, mostly whores and gold diggers, who will take advantage of a farang’s ignorance of Thai culture in order to con them out of some money.

I asked a Thai female friend of mine about this issue. This is what she said: “Yeah, there are many stupid farang out there. They marry these bad girls who tell that they have to pay sin soht just to get some money out of them. Foreigners don’t have to pay if they don’t want to. They can, but they are not required to. It is really up to them.” I asked her: “Did your dad pay?” She laughed: “He paid, but not much. And he got it back.” I asked: “Do you support your parents?” She laughed and said: “Support my parents? They are both doctors. They have other businesses on the side. They have thousands of rai of land. They still give me money and I still live at home. I have great parents.” I asked: “If you got married, would you expect your husband to financially support your parents in their old age?” She said: “Why you ask these questions? You want to get married?” Laughter. “If anything happened to my parents, I have my own money to take care of them.” Of course, my friend is from the higher echelons of Thai society, but of all the modern, educated Thai women with real jobs that I know, none of them cares about sin soht, and none of them expect farang to pay.

further reading here - http://www.stickmanbangkok.com/Reader/reader2172.htm

[H2oDunc]

Money was never asked for or even contemplated. In fact after being with the missus for 2 years the father gave us 5 rai of land for us to build a house on. Paying money to marry your wife is something I would not do and especially if they have been married before and have children. it surprises me though just how many have and will in the future

[supaprik]

Guess I found the perfect solution....

Meet a lovely girl, mid 30,s MBA, and good salary, own house etc etc etc sadly both her parents died some years back..sin sod never mentioned.....

[supaprik]

Guess I found the perfect solution....

Meet a lovely girl, mid 30,s MBA, and good salary, own house etc etc etc sadly both her parents died some years back..sin sod never mentioned.....

You forgot the extended family.

OOPs forgot....only child and doesnt talk with prick relations...... heaven sent for sure.....

[Loz]

nice article.. I had wondered why anna and the K*** was banned. maybe I should look into this more..

[maccaroni man]

refreshing to read a post that is not thai bashing but at the same time bashes the myth that some of our tv members, who like to tell us about thai culture preach about. as for my wife she never asked and i never offered that was 14yrs ago and looking forward to the next 40.

Edited December 13, 2010 by cdnvic
closed due to copyright and readability reasons