Thai Men + Farang Women

[cdnvic]

Posts deleted. Next knuckle-dragging troglodyte who wants to make derogatory and inaccurate comments about the size of western women is going away for a long time.

Don't judge all western women by the last one who dumped you.

[aridion]

Point out where I am rude?

I don't think that I was. I was just stating some points.

[Boo]

don't share these biases towards ALL foreign men.

And I suggest you take more time reading the posts you decide to take offense to, no-where did I state that this was the case for ALL men. I would also suggest you don't take my comments as a personal reflection of your life. They were a general observation based on years of posts on thaivisa as well as real life experiences.

2) most women don't seem to get he same kind of "yellow fever" many western men do

[aridion]

Fine.

Would you say that your generalisations are more accurate in refering to Foreign men who are here as tourists or are here to work for a longer term.

I guess that the image of foreign male tourists in places like Pattaya, Patong, Soi Cowboy, Nana and Papong does not help other foreign males that are working here. I guess that there is not anywhere near the availability for this type of tourism for women. I wonder if there was would it be as popular?

[endure]

Haha, yes, that...but the females that want to go with bar-boys seem to be flocking to West-Africa...and there are really not that many boy-bars here - apart from the gay kind.

A large proportion of the guys who work as bar-boys in gay places are actually straight.

I know - but that fact doesn't alter their clientele.

Straight farang women are welcome in most gay gogo bars and will soon have a crowd of bar-boys buzzing round them. What happens after that is up to them.

[Boo]

I've been told that it's quite popular for thai women with money to splash to visit the male gogos too

[aridion]

Yes I know that already. However do you think that if Thailand was likesay, recognised as a place for women to come to get their rox off (not the small areas with gay bars), would they act the same as the many males?

Edited January 19, 2011 by aridion

[Boo]

Would you say that your generalisations are more accurate in refering to Foreign men who are here as tourists or are here to work for a longer term.

honestly, there are too many variables. I do think the availability of women here (In terms of ones looking for farang & how quickly the meet-date-move in process seems to move compared to back home) make it much easier for a lot of men to relationship-hop regardless of compatibility. That's what I mean by "yellow fever" the woman being thai being the main attraction, rather than is she a nice person, do we have anything in common etc.

IME, western women here tend to be more cautious if pursuing anything more than a fling but that might be women generally, anywhere.

Of course the 2 week tourist coming to trawl the bars brings a whole set of issues down on the men who are here the long term, that can't really be helped but I don't think that if these bars were available with straight pay for play asian men, women from the west would be flocking to Thailand to partake. Maybe in a different age demographic to mine it could happen (I hear of the 50+ women heading off to Tunisia/Jamaica etc) but in my age range (30's) women just wouldn't pay for it. And the ones I know in ltr with thai men are of a similar age/economic background who met in "normal" situations & progressed their relationships as they would with a man back home. You get the few (usually very young) shacking up with a boat/beach boy for a few weeks or months then going back home after her taste of the orient looks like too much reality but generally these are few & far between, esp the older I get (less inclination to associate with them on my part)

[Boo]

And the ones I know in ltr with thai men are of a similar age/economic background who met in "normal" situations & progressed their relationships as they would with a man back home

And just to clarify, in case someone wanted to get narky over it, I am not suggesting that there aren't many farang men-thai women couples like this too, of course there are but there are also a lot of the ones I described above too.

[aridion]

Nobody getting narky.

I agree with your last comment. In my experience I have quite a few male friends who are married in Thailand with children (all in their 30's, like myself). All their relationships are of the same age/economic background. They work in Thailand and are happy to remain here. They also are commited to their relationships. I also know of a few females from foreign countries who are also married here in a similiar situation. Perfectly normal, decent relationships, just as we would have back home. They are the people I was representing when I remarked about your earlier post.

I find that the foreigners who have short relationships with bar girls or the like, don't really settle down here and maintain a job and family. They are the foreigners that we see in the more high profile places i.e tourist areas. However I would say that most of the foreign men (and women) that I knew who lived and worked in Thailand were all in meaningful relationships. Non of them were married to bar girls (not saying that this isn't common).

It would be interesting to find out exactly what was the demographic for relationships, say even, from TV forum members. I am sure that most of them would be normal. Most (from my experience) relationships between Thais and foreigners, both men and women are normal outside the seedy parts of town. Unfortunately too many people stereotype a lot of foreign men because of what the media image, word on the street is. Being tarred by the same brush as sex tourists ain't that nice a feeling.

I do agree that in general Thai girl quite like Foreign men. And that it is a situation that is all too often taken advantage of.

Edited January 20, 2011 by aridion

[Berkshire]

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

[cdnvic]

Comments on moderation removed.

[sbk]

Real relationships are not that hard to come by, I have quite a few western friends with Thai husbands in successful relationships. But, the thing I have noticed is that nearly all of these couples choose to return to the wife's home countries with their children to raise their children in an environment that affords them every opportunity. Raising your children in rural Thailand may allow them to be successful in Thailand (but probably not) but certainly nowhere else.

It seems as though the question has been answered quite clearly from what I have read so am unsure as to why the OP is still looking for a "why" when the reasons given are pretty clear and, IME, correct.

[JurgenG]

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

Your post will be much more accurate if you add "Some" before "Farang men"

[JurgenG]

I've been told that it's quite popular for thai women with money to splash to visit the male gogos too

Not only Thai, but it seems women have enough common sense to know the limits of such relation.

[sbk]

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

Your post will be much more accurate if you add "Some" before "Farang men"

and before women too, women are just as capable of making foolish choices in relationships as men are, regardless of ethnicity of either party.

[GrahamF]

I've been told that it's quite popular for thai women with money to splash to visit the male gogos too

A few months back Stick had a link to an article that "reviewed" at least three bars that were for the ladies. Seems like they are pretty high end places and are frequented by some quite well-off ladies, both Thai and Farang.

The simple explanation is that Farang women have much higher standards than Farang men. This is not a slight against Farang men because part of it is biological. Simply put:

Farang men will date Thai women who speaks little to almost no English. Farang women would not date Thai men whom they can't communicate with fluently.

Farang men will date dirt poor Thai women with little to no prospects. Farang women would prefer someone of the same socioeconomic background or higher.

Farang men will date uneducated Thai women. Farang women prefer someone of the same educational background or higher.

Farang men seem to date pretty much any Thai woman who's younger, regardless of how attractive she is (attractive in the Thai sense). Farang women will prefer a guy around her age or slightly older who's relatively attractive.

The kinds of Thai men, therefore, that Farang women are looking for are successful, attractive, English-speaking/western educated, intelligent, and closer to in age, i.e., top notch Thai men. The bad news for Farang women is that these Thai guys are in high demand amongst the best and brightest (read hottest) Thai women in Thailand. Unless the guy has a serious farang-fetish, you're going to be hardpressed to land the top tier guys. They simply have too much to choose from.

I think that you are using the stereotypical definition of the sex tourist and/or the bitter western man here. I know of at least three western men, all long term expats with good jobs in BKK, that are dating Thai women who are of virtually the same socioeconomic background as they are. They easily could or would date western women (and have) they just happen to be dating Thai women right now. I seriously doubt that these guys would fall into your definition of "farang men" whether they be dating a Thai or Western woman.

To the OP, I have had a number of Thai men ask me questions about Western women and they do seem interested, but they seem to be a little shy to approach a Western lady. One of their biggest fears seems to be is that their English will not be good enough and that the lady may not take them seriously and that they will lose face. Obviously, there are exceptions to every rule and I am sure there are quite a number of Thai men willing to approach a Western woman, it might just take you a little longer to meet a guy in Thailand than back in the west. Perhaps some of the ladies here on TV who have Thai husbands/boyfriends can give you some advice on where to meet a nice guy. Good luck !

[DP25]

I've been told that it's quite popular for thai women with money to splash to visit the male gogos too

I wouldn't say it's 'popular' outside of with female gogo dancers. Normal chicks aren't going to go hang out there

[kropotkin]

Could the answer (at least partly) be very simple?

In Europe you will almost never see a taller woman having a relation with a shorter guy.

OK OK there are the Berlusconi's and Sarkozy's......

OK OK that says a lot about male ego.....

But it is a fact.

And perhaps (..?..) it is a fact in different cultures too.

Since Europeans are generally taller then Thai, that would strongly reduce the number of thai male - european female relationships.

In Europe you will seldom see a more educated woman with a lesser educated man.

While the other way around is not uncommon.

Remember who was Hemingway's gf....

If (...if...) the same applies to other cultures, we would have a second, simple explaination.

I am not judging, only stating common sociological theories.

And of course, there are many more factors and explainations.

[teatree]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

[backfromouterspace]

I think the obvious answer is that most farang women aren't desperate for a shag. Unlike most farang guys. The oines that are tend to a bit rough and so take the first Thai bloke who makes a move on them, the sensible ones dont. ( So from that perspective, the same as farang guys.)

[kropotkin]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

Probably a lot of truth in that - but the question then is: Why?

Other examples:

European men are attracted to polynesian women, european women are not attracted to polynesian men.

European women are attracted to turkish men, european men are not attracted to turkish women.

Generalizing, i know, but i saw what i saw!

Why? Any thoughts?

[Boo]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

fact?

[JurgenG]

^ As there are a number of teachers posting here, I'm sure a lot of us (me included) could benefit to have a few basic words explained and more specifically it seems what is the difference between all, most and some, and fact, opinion, bias and prejudice.

Edited January 20, 2011 by JurgenG

[JurgenG]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

Probably a lot of truth in that - but the question then is: Why?

Other examples:

European men are attracted to polynesian women, european women are not attracted to polynesian men.

European women are attracted to turkish men, european men are not attracted to turkish women.

Generalizing, i know, but i saw what i saw!

Why? Any thoughts?

As I said, fact, opinion, bias and prejudice ....

And total B.S. !!!!

Edited January 20, 2011 by JurgenG

[CheGuava]

The girls are obviously smarter than the old guys that take up the the hookers errr hostesses.

I think GK hit it. Smarter, more selective.

Huh, what?! It's 100% the same as with Western men; Western women tend to go for, you know the type, beach boys, trekking guides, 'artistic' but otherwise broke, musicians, hustlers.. Same low class demographic.

And as a result the women experience 100% the same issues as Western men do.

Yes this is a generalization. Yes there are MANY exceptions. Yes this too is the same as for Western men, where a minority also does better for themselves.

Tell me, when was the last time anyone met a Western woman who has been happily living in Thailand for 10 years or so, and married to a Thai with a decent corporate career?

Edited January 20, 2011 by CheGuava

[kropotkin]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

Probably a lot of truth in that - but the question then is: Why?

Other examples:

European men are attracted to polynesian women, european women are not attracted to polynesian men.

European women are attracted to turkish men, european men are not attracted to turkish women.

Generalizing, i know, but i saw what i saw!

Why? Any thoughts?

As I said, fact, opinion, bias and prejudice ....

And total B.S. !!!!

And total B.S. !!!!! ???????

This is a forum, not a bar.

But of course, that is only my humble opinion.

[cdnvic]

Tell me, when was the last time anyone met a Western woman who has been happily living in Thailand for 10 years or so, and married to a Thai with a decent corporate career?

You just described some of my friends. If you run in the right circles you tend to meet them more often.

[bonobo]

The fact that Thai men and Farang women generally don't find each other physically attractive is probably the biggest reason why they are not so many of those relationships.

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

I am not sure in what circles you run, but in my experience, Thai men find western women very attractive. I recently took a trip with three Thai men to Austria, Germany, and the Czech Republic, and the three guys almost broke their necks swiveling so much to watch the women walk by. And I went to school with a fairly large contingent of Thais, and the men all seem to like western women--at least all the "guy talk" was centered on them.

Given that the majority of Thai men like slender women, I think the vast majority would find slender and middling western women extremely attractive. One Thai student I know rather loved American women, but he liked them on the large size with more curves (as do many western men, for that matter.)

I don't really know if western women are particularly attracted to Thai men on a purely physical standpoint. I have not had that conversation with western women before. But I know for a fact that many Thai men find western women very attractive from a physical standpoint.

[Berkshire]

Farang men and Thai women DO find each other physically attractive and that is why there are so many of those relationships.

You can't be serious. Yes, farang men do find Thai women physically attractive--that I can believe. But the other way around? Unless you mean Thai women find farang men financially attractive. Have you seen some of these guys?