Cheating Wife

[monkeystrong]

Yes I am currently in the Military and deployed aswell. I was married many years ago when I was younger to a female who was also in the military. Long story short, She got stationed in another country for a year. about 6 months later I was talking to her on the phone when she told me that she wasn't comming home and she banging some guy(probably more just never said). It messed me up for awhile, But I would not trade that experence for anything. It was by far the BEST life lesson I ever learned. When it happens to someone you know it just doesn't hit home like it does when it happens to you. Anyway, looking back in retrospect it was the best thing that happen to me. I got out pretty cheap I think. I have been happly single since. Did I loose my faith in Humanity....no. I just understand people(women) better now. And I am waiting for retirement day when I can join the ranks of the Thai Expats. Just a few more years......MS

[relaxed]

whatever happened to " bro's before hoe's" ?

Nobody who refers to women as "hoes" should expect any backup. It may carry weight in the trailer park, but amongst civilized society, no.

no offense. Meaning below according to Urban dictionary>..

1. bros before hos

a phrase to remind a long time friend that friends should come before girlfriends ( or female friends). the phraise could be said with no intention of calling the female friend a ho, or it could be precisily what it ment.some think its jest an excuse for friends who are jelous of their friends girlfriend,

[pjclark1]

Perhaps you are right, so does that mean all the guys serving away from home in the armed forces around the world should worry cos love means nothing.

Pretty much true.

[MaiChai]

Well, the nice English guy is already married to her, so he is lumbered with her. Difficult for him to get out of the relationship, even if you were brotherly and told him what was going on. On the other hand, the nice English guy could be a complete whoring b*stard back at home, so he could be as bad as her. All farangs are not nice decent people. My advice: mind your own business and let them sort out their problems.

There is no substitute for experience, especially in Thailand! I find not many people want to listen to your 15 years+ experience in Thailand. Thus I don't offer much brotherly advice these days. People really do want to learn from their own mistakes. I am of view that the clever man learns from others mistakes without suffering the consequences; thus I am all ears when it comes to advice.

Sometimes I think they should make it very hard to marry. Would save alot of grief and money. I also wonder what % of Thai/farang marriages make it to old age?

[relaxed]

Well, the nice English guy is already married to her, so he is lumbered with her. Difficult for him to get out of the relationship, even if you were brotherly and told him what was going on. On the other hand, the nice English guy could be a complete whoring b*stard back at home, so he could be as bad as her. All farangs are not nice decent people. My advice: mind your own business and let them sort out their problems.

There is no substitute for experience, especially in Thailand! I find not many people want to listen to your 15 years+ experience in Thailand. Thus I don't offer much brotherly advice these days. People really do want to learn from their own mistakes. I am of view that the clever man learns from others mistakes without suffering the consequences; thus I am all ears when it comes to advice.

Sometimes I think they should make it very hard to marry. Would save alot of grief and money. I also wonder what % of Thai/farang marriages make it to old age?

great points. I just like the fact she knows I know and watch how uncomfortable I make her now. So, yeah...just the fact I know is good enough for me.

[transam]

Yes I am currently in the Military and deployed aswell. I was married many years ago when I was younger to a female who was also in the military. Long story short, She got stationed in another country for a year. about 6 months later I was talking to her on the phone when she told me that she wasn't comming home and she banging some guy(probably more just never said). It messed me up for awhile, But I would not trade that experence for anything. It was by far the BEST life lesson I ever learned. When it happens to someone you know it just doesn't hit home like it does when it happens to you. Anyway, looking back in retrospect it was the best thing that happen to me. I got out pretty cheap I think. I have been happly single since. Did I loose my faith in Humanity....no. I just understand people(women) better now. And I am waiting for retirement day when I can join the ranks of the Thai Expats. Just a few more years......MS

+1

[Wallaby]

great points. I just like the fact she knows I know and watch how uncomfortable I make her now. So, yeah...just the fact I know is good enough for me.

Oh you are an evil man. Love it.

[Nawtier]

send him an anonymous email when you do get to meet him and find his email addy.

Your gf seems all class also.

[SteeleJoe]

Your gf seems all class also.

I wasn't goiig to say it but that's pretty much what occurred to me when I read the OP; if I were you I'd be more worried about the fact that:

-- Your girlfriend is apparently making lots of demands that you think unreasonable

-- Your girlfriend is friends with this woman (what does she think about this situation? mention of that is conspicuously absent)

-- This woman apparently has some influence on your girlfriend

As for the English guy -- I've faced this dilemma in Thailand a dozen times (especially back in the day when I was involved in the nightlife business) and while there's no perfect answer I generally kept out of it for a number of reasons; not the least among them the fact that -- sort of combining two comments from other posters -- if you wind up in relationship with a Thai girl whom you don't know very well and with whom you have a very weak and superficial foundation, it's generally unrealistic to expect her to remain faithful and celibate just because you've sent her money etc. Moreover you kind of deserve your fate if you are going to be so foolish and presumptuous at the same time (you think you can buy her? not really. she's got you, you don't have her. and as nasty as she may be for doing it, I have a grudging admiration for some of the girls I've known who turned the tables on guys who thought the girls could be bought so easily).

Expect I'll get some heat for these comments especially as I haven't stated things very well....but can't be bothered

[transam]

Your gf seems all class also.

I wasn't goiig to say it but that's pretty much what occurred to me when I read the OP; if I were you I'd be more worried about the fact that:

-- Your girlfriend is apparently making lots of demands that you think unreasonable

-- Your girlfriend is friends with this woman (what does she think about this situation? mention of that is conspicuously absent)

-- This woman apparently has some influence on your girlfriend

As for the English guy -- I've faced this dilemma in Thailand a dozen times (especially back in the day when I was involved in the nightlife business) and while there's no perfect answer I generally kept out of it for a number of reasons; not the least among them the fact that -- sort of combining two comments from other posters -- if you wind up in relationship with a Thai girl whom you don't know very well and with whom you have a very weak and superficial foundation, it's generally unrealistic to expect her to remain faithful and celibate just because you've sent her money etc. Moreover you kind of deserve your fate if you are going to be so foolish and presumptuous at the same time (you think you can buy her? not really. she's got you, you don't have her. and as nasty as she may be for doing it, I have a grudging admiration for some of the girls I've known who turned the tables on guys who thought the girls could be bought so easily).

Expect I'll get some heat for these comments especially as I haven't stated things very well....but can't be bothered

+1

[Boo]

a woman here mark45yr & I have to say I agree with your advice on his one (don't fall back down when you pick yourself up off the floor )

Say nothing. if she is doing the dirty with her bit on the side in full public view then I'd say she doesn't care one way or another if hubby finds out. He quite likely has his suspicions but many people are happy to at least turn a blind eye as long as she does her wifely duties when he is in country. It might be the pay off for the life he wants in LOS? You never know what goes on in another mans bed or another mans head & getting involved will only end in tears, for you.

[relaxed]

Your gf seems all class also.

I wasn't goiig to say it but that's pretty much what occurred to me when I read the OP; if I were you I'd be more worried about the fact that:

-- Your girlfriend is apparently making lots of demands that you think unreasonable

-- Your girlfriend is friends with this woman (what does she think about this situation? mention of that is conspicuously absent)

-- This woman apparently has some influence on your girlfriend

As for the English guy -- I've faced this dilemma in Thailand a dozen times (especially back in the day when I was involved in the nightlife business) and while there's no perfect answer I generally kept out of it for a number of reasons; not the least among them the fact that -- sort of combining two comments from other posters -- if you wind up in relationship with a Thai girl whom you don't know very well and with whom you have a very weak and superficial foundation, it's generally unrealistic to expect her to remain faithful and celibate just because you've sent her money etc. Moreover you kind of deserve your fate if you are going to be so foolish and presumptuous at the same time (you think you can buy her? not really. she's got you, you don't have her. and as nasty as she may be for doing it, I have a grudging admiration for some of the girls I've known who turned the tables on guys who thought the girls could be bought so easily).

Expect I'll get some heat for these comments especially as I haven't stated things very well....but can't be bothered

thanks...but I am not worried because GF is on the list to be gone real soon. Waiting for appropriate time.

[mark45y]

Well, the nice English guy is already married to her, so he is lumbered with her. Difficult for him to get out of the relationship, even if you were brotherly and told him what was going on. On the other hand, the nice English guy could be a complete whoring b*stard back at home, so he could be as bad as her. All farangs are not nice decent people. My advice: mind your own business and let them sort out their problems.

There is no substitute for experience, especially in Thailand! I find not many people want to listen to your 15 years+ experience in Thailand. Thus I don't offer much brotherly advice these days. People really do want to learn from their own mistakes. I am of view that the clever man learns from others mistakes without suffering the consequences; thus I am all ears when it comes to advice.

Sometimes I think they should make it very hard to marry. Would save alot of grief and money. I also wonder what % of Thai/farang marriages make it to old age?

Breaking up is hard to do. I can imagine being in Canada during a snow storm shivering and the tears falling from my eyes and freezing before they hit my cheeks. When I found out my wife was cheating it almost killed me.

I have had the experience of a woman leaving me in Thailand. The first time it took me three years to get her to leave.

What percent of Thai/Falang marriages make it to old age. A better question may be how many start in old age. I am still trying to figure out why a young man would want to get married in Thailand.

I'm 65 and I stay in shape running away from Thai women.

A young man contemplating marriage in Thailand? For the love of God dear fellow, get a grip. Rescue a starving Soi dog pup, give some money to an orphanage, help an old lady across the street. There is lots of time to get married. I would think 80 is a good age to get married in Thailand, maybe 85.

[IanForbes]

a woman here mark45yr & I have to say I agree with your advice on his one (don't fall back down when you pick yourself up off the floor )

Say nothing. if she is doing the dirty with her bit on the side in full public view then I'd say she doesn't care one way or another if hubby finds out. He quite likely has his suspicions but many people are happy to at least turn a blind eye as long as she does her wifely duties when he is in country. It might be the pay off for the life he wants in LOS? You never know what goes on in another mans bed or another mans head & getting involved will only end in tears, for you.

Good advice, Boo. Sticking your nose into other peoples business only brings heart ache to the one trying to help. Men often suspect that their wife/girl friend is having someone on the side, but they don't want to hear it from anyone else. It hurts their pride too much.

[IanForbes]

Mark45 quote

I'm 65 and I stay in shape running away from Thai women.

A young man contemplating marriage in Thailand? For the love of God dear fellow, get a grip. Rescue a starving Soi dog pup, give some money to an orphanage, help an old lady across the street. There is lots of time to get married. I would think 80 is a good age to get married in Thailand, maybe 85.

When you finally lose your libido and interest in chasing skirts it's time to settle down with one.

[IanForbes]

Sorry for the double post. Crazy internet sites problem.

Or, it could be a slow thaivisa problem.

Edited January 25, 2011 by IanForbes

[mark45y]

a woman here mark45yr & I have to say I agree with your advice on his one (don't fall back down when you pick yourself up off the floor )

Say nothing. if she is doing the dirty with her bit on the side in full public view then I'd say she doesn't care one way or another if hubby finds out. He quite likely has his suspicions but many people are happy to at least turn a blind eye as long as she does her wifely duties when he is in country. It might be the pay off for the life he wants in LOS? You never know what goes on in another mans bed or another mans head & getting involved will only end in tears, for you.

Good advice, Boo. Sticking your nose into other peoples business only brings heart ache to the one trying to help. Men often suspect that their wife/girl friend is having someone on the side, but they don't want to hear it from anyone else. It hurts their pride too much.

Sitting in a big house on the hill of a small town close to the Canadian border and having espresso and reading the Sunday newspaper during a snowstorm I got a phone call.

I recognized the voice of the wife of my best friend for 20 years. I had heard her voice many times as our families were very close and celebrated holidays together.

I said to my wife, “honey, Loretta is on the phone and she says she wants to speak to the b**ch.” My wife turned a ghostly white and started to shake as she sat down to take the phone call.

I didn't say anything. I just shook my head as I thought of the consequences of my wife's and my best friends actions.

If I could turn back time, I wish I had never taken the call. I wished I never found out about my wife and my best friends adulterous relationship. It was probably a short term thing. It would have probably blown over quickly. I had been faithful to the woman during 10 years of marriage before she strayed.

My knowledge of their act started a chain of events that led to divorce 10 years later. I never talked to my best friend again. I dissolved our business partnership and moved to another State. All because of a ten minute roll in the hay.

[relaxed]

a woman here mark45yr & I have to say I agree with your advice on his one (don't fall back down when you pick yourself up off the floor )

Say nothing. if she is doing the dirty with her bit on the side in full public view then I'd say she doesn't care one way or another if hubby finds out. He quite likely has his suspicions but many people are happy to at least turn a blind eye as long as she does her wifely duties when he is in country. It might be the pay off for the life he wants in LOS? You never know what goes on in another mans bed or another mans head & getting involved will only end in tears, for you.

Good advice, Boo. Sticking your nose into other peoples business only brings heart ache to the one trying to help. Men often suspect that their wife/girl friend is having someone on the side, but they don't want to hear it from anyone else. It hurts their pride too much.

Sitting in a big house on the hill of a small town close to the Canadian border and having espresso and reading the Sunday newspaper during a snowstorm I got a phone call.

I recognized the voice of the wife of my best friend for 20 years. I had heard her voice many times as our families were very close and celebrated holidays together.

I said to my wife, "honey, Loretta is on the phone and she says she wants to speak to the b**ch." My wife turned a ghostly white and started to shake as she sat down to take the phone call.

I didn't say anything. I just shook my head as I thought of the consequences of my wife's and my best friends actions.

If I could turn back time, I wish I had never taken the call. I wished I never found out about my wife and my best friends adulterous relationship. It was probably a short term thing. It would have probably blown over quickly. I had been faithful to the woman during 10 years of marriage before she strayed.

My knowledge of their act started a chain of events that led to divorce 10 years later. I never talked to my best friend again. I dissolved our business partnership and moved to another State. All because of a ten minute roll in the hay.

that sucks whipper. I had a great marriage for 24 years and was a loyal husband and have never had any reason to believe my wife was not loyal and faithful to our vows. I have very little patience or tolerance for this type of person, male or female and whatever nationality.

[Mighty Mouse]

I came home the other day to find my girlfriends friends car parked in front of our house and was told she needed to leave their for whatever reason. I think no problem. A little while later I happen to look out to find her making out with this guy in broad daylight

If she was making out with this guy in her car then it is totally wrong, wrong, wrong.

When will these dumb females ever learn just how difficult it is to get the stains out of car seats.

[Wallaby]

Mark, I haven't knowingly had a girl cheat on me, as most of us do think of that at times.....I think it would be a very very bad feeling to find out however, to find out that it is with one of your friends, well that would just be the absolute pits.

Time heals all and I'm glad you have a happy life now.

[monkeystrong]

Mark, I haven't knowingly had a girl cheat on me, as most of us do think of that at times.....I think it would be a very very bad feeling to find out however, to find out that it is with one of your friends, well that would just be the absolute pits.

Time heals all and I'm glad you have a happy life now.

Yes, I would agree

[monkeystrong]

I might be straying off topic but I have always look at marriage as handing over the keys to your life to someone else, I don't like that. I think that is to much power to give someone else. I like having my keys in my pocket I guess. If in the future I happen to get into a long term relationship and the subject keeps being push on me. I think it might be time for a change. Just my two cents

MS

I do have to make one edit to this post: I do have a significant other. The moment I saw her it was true love. Our eyes met and emotions ran wild. She didnt come cheap though. And It seems like I am all ways buying her somthing new. She, is a 2008 Harley Davidson Night Train...hahahaha. Ture story

Edited January 25, 2011 by monkeystrong

[Krupnik]

Here is my perspective, I am female.

If I were you I would wait until I met the guy. It may be that he is not as nice as they made him sound. It is impossible to know. But if it was me and I met him and he did infact seem genuine, I would tell him.

How dare your girlfriend tell you to keep your mouth shut? Does SHE have a husband somewhere that she is keeping shut about?!?! It is worrying that she is supporting the situation and since you want to dump her soon anyway, it will make breaking up with her easier. Think of it this way - if you were that guy, would YOU want to know. I know I would. That's why I would tell him.

Dee

[oldsailor35]

Well, the nice English guy is already married to her, so he is lumbered with her. Difficult for him to get out of the relationship, even if you were brotherly and told him what was going on. On the other hand, the nice English guy could be a complete whoring b*stard back at home, so he could be as bad as her. All farangs are not nice decent people. My advice: mind your own business and let them sort out their problems.

There is no substitute for experience, especially in Thailand! I find not many people want to listen to your 15 years+ experience in Thailand. Thus I don't offer much brotherly advice these days. People really do want to learn from their own mistakes. I am of view that the clever man learns from others mistakes without suffering the consequences; thus I am all ears when it comes to advice.

Sometimes I think they should make it very hard to marry. Would save alot of grief and money. I also wonder what % of Thai/farang marriages make it to old age?

Breaking up is hard to do. I can imagine being in Canada during a snow storm shivering and the tears falling from my eyes and freezing before they hit my cheeks. When I found out my wife was cheating it almost killed me.

I have had the experience of a woman leaving me in Thailand. The first time it took me three years to get her to leave.

What percent of Thai/Falang marriages make it to old age. A better question may be how many start in old age. I am still trying to figure out why a young man would want to get married in Thailand.

I'm 65 and I stay in shape running away from Thai women.

A young man contemplating marriage in Thailand? For the love of God dear fellow, get a grip. Rescue a starving Soi dog pup, give some money to an orphanage, help an old lady across the street. There is lots of time to get married. I would think 80 is a good age to get married in Thailand, maybe 85.

OMG ! another 10 years of waiting and wondering.

[Senia]

ok ok another female input here.

i spent a year with Thai's before I met my hubby . And I really dun mean this in a derogatary way , but Thai's seem to me to be very casual about sex. Coming from Singapore it is so so very rare for me to find women supporting men but here ................ no their husbands be it farang or Thai ( seriously , farangs dun take it so personally cos they do it to their Thai husbands/ wives too ) support them and they in turn support their boyfriends/girlfriends .

My take on this is poverty, budhism, helping each other, gender equality etc. There are so many women I see who "support" younger Thai men , some get married legally most don't . Some younger wives do the same .

Even older couples are doing it. and by older i mean 55 and up , both parties.

loosely translated into English the term for it is "buffaloing"

up to 3 months ago my hubby was so paranoid about me, everyday he would check on my phone , check my browsing history etc. I thought it was funny at first but after a few months of this ........... mind you it only ended when I had a heart to heart talk with him, I am pregnant, I have trouble waddling down the road much less male prowling lmao, and he married me cos he knew that I would not leave him. ( sometimes I think that his fear is more about me leaving than cheating on him ) But I can see where it stems from. It happens a lot. not 100 % but a lot.

Yes, some farangs do marry Thai women because they think that they may be helping someone, but it is not a love marriage........... in Cambodia I see so many Farangs married to Cambodian women because back home or in any developed country no woman would give them a second look.

Only difference here is Thai women go looking for love elsewhere where Cambodian women love the money more.

My advise to you is, don't tell unless he asks you. He should have done his homework or at least make the decision to marry a woman who loved him for him, from the looks of it he did neither.

[Theoutsider]

Please correct me if I am wrong, But from what I have read from post on this Forum, It seems that most Thai women Have a very "primative mind set". Swinging from one vine to the next. All ways looking for the higher one(fatter wallet). Is this true?

Primitive :lol:<deleted>.

Are you saying they are monkeys?

[monkeystrong]

Please correct me if I am wrong, But from what I have read from post on this Forum, It seems that most Thai women Have a very "primative mind set". Swinging from one vine to the next. All ways looking for the higher one(fatter wallet). Is this true?

Primitive :lol:<deleted>.

Are you saying they are monkeys?

hahaha....it was just a figure of speech. I am thinking of moving to CM in a few years and just trying to get a feel for the social interactions between frang men and thai women. I think Thai women are the most beutiful women in the world far from monkeys....like myself(see pic above)...hahahaha

[David006]

Good God...I was feeling pretty good till I read this thread and all the sage advice....bit like listening to Lenard Cohen when you need to cheer yourself up....

...seems to be a lot of "faithful" wronged partners out there... human animal nature being what it is I wonder if it is lack of inclination or no presented opportunity on their part.

One hopes it is a high sense of morality, integrity, love and respect.

.....also could be just plain fear of getting caught and the consequences thereof.

in Thailand the "get your appetite where you like but eat at home" is for some maybe a harder mantra to adhere to ...the street food always looks sooo good,fresh and spicy ...and so much of it!

..yes a somewhat flippant post but it is the pub forum and an hour or two before it's time to pop the cap off....