Strange Farang Phenomenon

[61guitarman61]

Have any other expats had the sensation of getting the cold shoulder from other farang as you pass by on the street or see each other in the store? My experience has been, perhaps 90% of the time anyway, that when farang who do not already know each other get close enough to interact with a hello or any other acknowledgement that the other entity actually exists, they do not even make eye contact and brush past with a deliberate non-acknowledgement as though meeting another farang is the last thing they want to do. Even my Thai wife noticed this and brought it up as a topic of discussion. Is it that these westerners came all this way in an attempt to lose their western identities? Are they ashamed of being seen talking to another farang? Do they somehow think that they should be the only farang in Thailand and therefore use the "If I ignore them, they will go away" methodology? I live in Maesot, a northwestern Thai border town, and perhaps this phenomenon is related to the remote location. Is this the same in the larger cities and tourist meccas? When Thai people see this happen, they DO notice and it makes us seem like <deleted> to each other and therefore probably will be <deleted> in general. I still say hello even when the other party snubs me. I won't be party to this weirdness. But I would like to understand it at least.

Yes, I realize farang will get together in pubs, gogos, or any other party venues and at least put on a show of being social, but I am referring to real life meetings. And even in the party atmosphere, there are tempers and ethnic lines drawn and anti-social behaviors such as the drunken brawls, especially between certain ethnicities.

Edited January 25, 2011 by 61guitarman61

[daveyravey]

Just as you are same ethnicity its not meaning every people want to talking with you. Im not acknowledging every peoples like me around the world.

Chill out comrade.

[bermondburi]

Depends where you are really. If I was in the middle of nowhere and hadn't seen a foreigner for months then I would say hello but if I was in Kaosan Road or the middle of Pattaya then I would look like a crazy man saying hello to everyone.

Nice to be nice though.

Maybe they don't like the look of you and think you're a bit dodgy.

[61guitarman61]

Depends where you are really. If I was in the middle of nowhere and hadn't seen a foreigner for months then I would say hello but if I was in Kaosan Road or the middle of Pattaya then I would look like a crazy man saying hello to everyone.

Nice to be nice though.

Maybe they don't like the look of you and think you're a bit dodgy.

Lol perhaps..... I don't really run about saying hello to every person on the street, but they all seem to go out of their way to not interact in any way whereas a "Sawasdee krap" is ready for the surrounding Thais. As I said, this is not a place overrun with foreigners from every corner of the globe as you find in Pattaya or Koh Samui. So when you see another western face one would think that farang would at least get as much acknowledgement as the locals get from the same person. Just strange..... thats all. I don't really care one way or the other as I've got a nice growing circle of Thai friends anyway.

[SteeleJoe]

I get what you are saying and I occasionally feel the same way -- but on the other hand, just because I'm of the same ethnicity as someone doesn't mean I necessarily want to know them any more than I do soeone from another ethnic group; I obviously don't greet every Thai I see so why should I automatically get a greeting from a falang?

Having said that, it does seem sometimes -- especially if you are somewhere where there aren't a lot of Falangs around -- that a friendly nod or whatever would seem appropriate...

Some of the time I'm sure it is that odd phenomenon of expats getting all snobbish about how long they have been here compared to the other guy (it cracks me up when I run into that -- so often its some guy who's been here for a year or less trying to act superior to me based on that -- and I've been here since he was still a teenager)...

[anonymouse]

I'm probably guilty as charged, every other farang I meet seems to be ex CIA or SAS or trying to sell me something so I tend to avoid them. I've met some good people out here but it's hard seperating the wheat from the chaff sometimes.

Saying that if someone offers me a hello, I'll return it

[PattayaParent]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

[Berkshire]

I don't really care one way or the other...

It's obvious that you do care, otherwise you wouldn't even bring this up. We had a thread about this awhile back and it perplexed me a great deal. Why would a farang have an obligation to acknowledge every other farang they walk by? It's asinine to think that just because we share the same....what exactly (skin color?)....that we'd have to treat one another differently than we would any random Thai (or Japanese or Korean). Let's try this: treat everyone the same. Can you do that? And if any farang (or Thai) were to ignore your incredibly humane efforts at friendliness (or creepiness), don't get so bent-out-of-shape about it. Everyone has their own comfort zone and it doesn't mean that people are "(attempting) to lose their western identities." Where do people come up with this stuff?

[mario299]

Depends where you are really. If I was in the middle of nowhere and hadn't seen a foreigner for months then I would say hello but if I was in Kaosan Road or the middle of Pattaya then I would look like a crazy man saying hello to everyone.

Nice to be nice though.

Maybe they don't like the look of you and think you're a bit dodgy.

Lol perhaps..... I don't really run about saying hello to every person on the street, but they all seem to go out of their way to not interact in any way whereas a "Sawasdee krap" is ready for the surrounding Thais. As I said, this is not a place overrun with foreigners from every corner of the globe as you find in Pattaya or Koh Samui. So when you see another western face one would think that farang would at least get as much acknowledgement as the locals get from the same person. Just strange..... thats all. I don't really care one way or the other as I've got a nice growing circle of Thai friends anyway.

I definitely agree with you. I am in the Surin area, the northeast, and when shopping at someplace like BigC or Tesco I get the same response from farang that you get. Maybe I'm dodgy-looking too, but it has always felt strange to me to be snubbed or ignored like this. Doesn't make me comfortable, makes me think to myself "hey! so what's so wrong you can't even look at me?" My wife and step-daughter just laugh at me, saying all farangs same-same. I can "chill out, comrade", but I'd rather understand it.

mario299

[robblok]

Like others have said your skin color does not entitle you to a greeting. It would look foolish to go up to an unknown person and say hello. However if im fishing somewhere and i see an other farang i do try to say hello or communicate and most of the times i get acknowledged.(they got no where to run )

I dont pull the same stunt in the Big C or carefour, maybe if im behind them in the cue other then that going out of my way to say hello does look a bit strange to me.

This subject has been discussed in the past.

[waza]

Yep, I have noticed it in BKK and out in the sticks. Some people have explained to me its an ex-pat/ tourist thing, others say that farrangs only want something from you, other just have something to hide and a few would be sociopaths where ever they lived. . I admit I nod or say hello to everyone who catches my eye, sometimes it not returned by Thai and Farrang, but thats life. Then there are others I wished I didnt say hello and chat to.

[geriatrickid]

I'm one of those people that will ignore other foreigners. I can tell just by looking at some of them that they are to be avoided. I do not wish to encourage any type of association with such people. That doesn't mean we ignore everyone. Because you are a male, you may not know that those of us that ignore you will however be more open with a young family, or an elderly couple, or some kids on holiday. No exhausted mother dealing with a cranky kid has ever approached me with a hot real estate deal. She has however asked where to find a nappie. The old couple that stopped me a few weeks back were lost. it could have been my parents. They didn't ask me where to find some hookers. The kids that were jammed up outside an ATM because they couldn't get money for busfare didn't ask me for anything. How could anyone not give them some money and wish them well? They were so embarrassed to take the money too. They could have been anyone's kids. Sure they looked a bit scraggy, but it was normal scragginess, the kind that says, hey I'm a kid on an adventure, not the kind one sees on the pervs that sit in the bars off Bangla Rd. Don't assume that the cold shoulder to you means that it is given to everyone. I am especially open when a pretty foreigner passes by. She gets a big smile if she's single.

[johntou]

Perhaps some are just following the maxim, Don't talk to strangers.

[isanbirder]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

No, but I'd say hello to a Thai boy.

Seriously, though, in Thailand we're hardly 'strangers in a strange land', and there's no earthly reason why we should say hello to another farang as we pass by. I do if they look my type, perhaps, but most of them don't anyway.

[61guitarman61]

Depends where you are really. If I was in the middle of nowhere and hadn't seen a foreigner for months then I would say hello but if I was in Kaosan Road or the middle of Pattaya then I would look like a crazy man saying hello to everyone.

Nice to be nice though.

Maybe they don't like the look of you and think you're a bit dodgy.

Lol perhaps..... I don't really run about saying hello to every person on the street, but they all seem to go out of their way to not interact in any way whereas a "Sawasdee krap" is ready for the surrounding Thais. As I said, this is not a place overrun with foreigners from every corner of the globe as you find in Pattaya or Koh Samui. So when you see another western face one would think that farang would at least get as much acknowledgement as the locals get from the same person. Just strange..... thats all. I don't really care one way or the other as I've got a nice growing circle of Thai friends anyway.

I definitely agree with you. I am in the Surin area, the northeast, and when shopping at someplace like BigC or Tesco I get the same response from farang that you get. Maybe I'm dodgy-looking too, but it has always felt strange to me to be snubbed or ignored like this. Doesn't make me comfortable, makes me think to myself "hey! so what's so wrong you can't even look at me?" My wife and step-daughter just laugh at me, saying all farangs same-same. I can "chill out, comrade", but I'd rather understand it.

mario299

Your comment makes me feel a bit less obsessive about this subject so I thank you. You'll know me if perhaps we meet someday. I'll be the one able to actually say "Hey!" with an outstretched hand (or vai):jap:

[Chunky1]

I always smile at farang females. When it comes to farang males, most are degenerates who you want to avoid.

[Kilgore Trout]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

No, but I might say hi to a chink or a gook (farang is also a racist term, so think before you respond)

[Orac]

My wife seems to have a similar approach to the OP on this. I regularly get dragged off to meet the farang boyfriend or husband of some friend of hers. Last week it was it was an Austrian guy who didn't speak english or thai and was 25-30 years older than me. I am sure he is a very nice guy but we did not appear to have anything at all in common or an ability to communicate effectively. Her best friend married a swiss guy last month and, when they are in Thailand, we see them regularly however my wife cannot understand why I do not talk to her friends husband more and does not grasp that I am having to use my high school french.

[appropriate]

Why would I want to communicate with some stranger just because we're both in the same shop and are of the same race.

You sound like a bit of a weirdo.

[PoorSucker]

The massage ladies on my street says hello to all handsome Falang.

[61guitarman61]

My wife seems to have a similar approach to the OP on this. I regularly get dragged off to meet the farang boyfriend or husband of some friend of hers. Last week it was it was an Austrian guy who didn't speak english or thai and was 25-30 years older than me. I am sure he is a very nice guy but we did not appear to have anything at all in common or an ability to communicate effectively. Her best friend married a swiss guy last month and, when they are in Thailand, we see them regularly however my wife cannot understand why I do not talk to her friends husband more and does not grasp that I am having to use my high school french.

Point taken. I'm talking more, however, about the simple acknowledgement of existence as opposed to looking away if eye contact is accidentally made. As I said twice now, I don't really care if I meet another farang. I know hundreds and have met in passing probably tens of thousands while in the states. I just find this behavior facinating, and perhaps a little disturbing, but without any personal stake in the phenomenon at all.

[appropriate]

I definitely agree with you. I am in the Surin area, the northeast, and when shopping at someplace like BigC or Tesco I get the same response from farang that you get.

Glad I'm not going around a supermarket looking at and attempting to talk to strangers because we're the same race.

Sounds like you have some psychological issues that you could do with addressing.

it has always felt strange to me to be snubbed or ignored like this. Doesn't make me comfortable,

Why wouldn't they ignore you? I certainly would. An adult western man staring at me as I shop.

makes me think to myself "hey! so what's so wrong you can't even look at me?"

Why would they look at you? I'm sure they've seen one before, every time they look in the mirror even.

Edited January 25, 2011 by appropriate

[61guitarman61]

The massage ladies on my street says hello to all handsome Falang.

They say hello to ANY farang. The money all looks the same whether from ugly or handsome.

[Atmos]

We're reasonably rural in sth Sa Kaeo, 25km to an ATM, 45 to a Big C which is where we are most likely to see any farang; I'll greet politely but beyond that - many appear to be 30 years older than me there's little to discuss apart from the hated 'where are you from, where do you live, how long in Thailand' questions. We have 2 farang 'neighbours' 1 and 11km away we'll bump into each other maybe monthly, don't socialise as such but I was pleased they took up the invitation to attend a wedding we hosted here recently..

Once in Big C we were approached by an old English couple who told us they refused to acknowledge any classic 'old man-young girl' couple they saw, That was their moral high-ground, and of course, their choice.

Takes all sorts!!

[61guitarman61]

I definitely agree with you. I am in the Surin area, the northeast, and when shopping at someplace like BigC or Tesco I get the same response from farang that you get.

Glad I'm not going around a supermarket looking at and attempting to talk to strangers because we're the same race.

Sounds like you have some psychological issues that you could do with addressing.

it has always felt strange to me to be snubbed or ignored like this. Doesn't make me comfortable,

Why wouldn't they ignore you? I certainly would. An adult western man staring at me as I shop.

makes me think to myself "hey! so what's so wrong you can't even look at me?"

Why would they look at you? I'm sure they've seen one before, every time they look in the mirror even.

Well aren't you a friendly little tyke.................

[stoneyboy]

I brought this topic up a while back in the central Thailand forum regarding my location which happens to Phetchabun,same thing happened numerous times while i was out and about,im not looking to make friends with every farang i see,but as i discussed before sometimes for me it was a case of wanting to know certain information about the area,a good Hospital,School,etc etc and who better to ask than someone IE a westerner who had lived in the area a long time.

[Orac]

My wife seems to have a similar approach to the OP on this. I regularly get dragged off to meet the farang boyfriend or husband of some friend of hers. Last week it was it was an Austrian guy who didn't speak english or thai and was 25-30 years older than me. I am sure he is a very nice guy but we did not appear to have anything at all in common or an ability to communicate effectively. Her best friend married a swiss guy last month and, when they are in Thailand, we see them regularly however my wife cannot understand why I do not talk to her friends husband more and does not grasp that I am having to use my high school french.

Point taken. I'm talking more, however, about the simple acknowledgement of existence as opposed to looking away if eye contact is accidentally made. As I said twice now, I don't really care if I meet another farang. I know hundreds and have met in passing probably tens of thousands while in the states. I just find this behavior facinating, and perhaps a little disturbing, but without any personal stake in the phenomenon at all.

The issue is that the term farang can cover a wide group of people (and even offends some for some reason who should try chilling out more!) but the only real commonality is probably skin colour. Many ppl, particularly outside the tourist areas, who have been here a while feel they have integrated to some degree with the general population around them and therefore have far more in common with locals - speak thai, understand to some degree local ways and customs - then they would with someone from a country on the other side of the world from their place of birth that shares the same skin colour.

Having said that, my wife got very frustrated when she was living in England when she saw people she thought were Thai and, after trying to talk to them, found out they were Phillipino.

[wolf5370]

Personally it depends where I am and my initial impression of the other farang (for Kilgore Trout - not meant in a racist way - sheesh!). I pretty much always acknowledge a nod or a smile from anyone - foreign or Thai (just upbringing, its automatic).

If I think they are a fellow expat, and I'm in BigC for example, I will nod as I go by. I see no problem with a pretense of comradarie - in a country where everything is stacked against us by the indiginous population and powers that be, we should all be sticking together. Perhaps the only strength we have is cumulative given our numbers.

I tourist areas, I tend not to initialte nods with obvious tourists - as I also do not with groups of suspected louts.

[wolf5370]

I definitely agree with you. I am in the Surin area, the northeast, and when shopping at someplace like BigC or Tesco I get the same response from farang that you get.

Glad I'm not going around a supermarket looking at and attempting to talk to strangers because we're the same race.

Sounds like you have some psychological issues that you could do with addressing.

it has always felt strange to me to be snubbed or ignored like this. Doesn't make me comfortable,

Why wouldn't they ignore you? I certainly would. An adult western man staring at me as I shop.

makes me think to myself "hey! so what's so wrong you can't even look at me?"

Why would they look at you? I'm sure they've seen one before, every time they look in the mirror even.

And you call yourself Appropriate?

[61guitarman61]

Would you say hello to every Farang that you saw on the street back home?

No, but I might say hi to a chink or a gook (farang is also a racist term, so think before you respond)

ACTUALLY, the term farang is not at all racist. It broadly refers to any person not from Thailand much as our term "alien" (outside of the useage with regard to beings from outer space ) refers to people not citizens of the United States. Hardly a racist term.

Edited January 25, 2011 by 61guitarman61