Costings For A Mia Noi ?

[Turok]

In additon,

Its not really that difficult to sneak away for a few hours to get some "relief." If you need to feel female flesh on your privates, then a local massage parlor, bath house etc... will certainly do the job without any residue. Of course, make sure you take your own brand of soap and shampoo to the bath so you dont have any trace scents on you.

Turok

[bangbuathongben]

Also I have no experience with this but was wondering, do the "first wife's" know?

I for one am sure my missus would sniff anything out from miles away. It seems to me that it would be very difficult to keep this a secret.......?

Bang..........

[Dragonman]

All I got to say is the freedom of having no attachments to any Thai woman is so much better then scheduling sex appointments with a harem of women. I think some of these men need some hobbies.

Turok

Collecting and caring for beautiful women is not as gay as collecting orchids.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I collect both, does that mean I'm bi

Seriously though. Lots of my wife's friends have poo-uh nois. As I said on another thread, I think it's a fashion accessory. From my wife's village quite a few thai guys have mia nois. The guys are mainly teachers and government workers, plus high ranking police officers. Not much money or gifts actually change hands. My wife just found out my brother in law has had one for 5 years It all seems about the prestige that goes with having a "boyfriend" in a good job. Most hope the guy will eventually finish with the wife.

[haha]

I have no experience with this myself but the whole concept of how a man would go about finding a mia noi just baffles me.  What would you do:

Man: Hi there, I am already married but think I need another woman to fulfill all my needs.  What do think, would you like to live as my minor wife, sort of stay in the shadows, keep it quiet and be unable to be proud of a loving, normal marriage?  Doesnt that sound great?

Woman:  Oh sure, I think that would be wondeful!

I just don't see how this could work without someone being disappointed in it all.  Surely not the man but someone.

By the way, my wife said as advice to any guys thinking about this, if you do it, make sure to hide all the scissors and knives away from your mia luang! 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

when I first came to thailand, I used to go around asking girls whom I knew to be mia nois how they felt about being a mia noi, or a gig. just curious about it.

most of them in a sensitive manner told me that anybody who is willing to support them with their hard earned money deserves loyalty.

of course, you have your hardcore professionals who are totally cold.

but most of the mia nois I've met were regular girls who had financial problems.

to them, it was a matter of survival.

making ends meet here in thailand is not easy for many thai people. survival requires that they share resources. when you are only making 4k-6k baht a month, what other options do you have?

I remember once running around town with some rich thai guys. I saw this really pretty girl who worked at a car dealership. my thai friend saw the way I was looking at her. ..he asked me if I would like her as a "gig". I didn't know what a gig was at the time. so, I asked him what it was. he replied, a sidekick. someone who would reserve part of the day to be with you everyday at a price.

I replied in a startled manner quote, "you mean this stunner of a girl would consider being my live-in at a price???" he replied in a casual manner, yes.

curious as to the protocols... I asked him what it would cost, and how would you go about asking this drop dead gorgeous to be a sidekick. frankly, I was pretty sure that she would slap me in the face if I asked her - so , I didn't. but my thai friend just went up to her, and in a casual manner told her that I liked her and then asked her if she would consider being my "gig".

she looked at me with this straight face for about a minute, and said yes.

you can imagine my reaction to this whole scenario..

on one hand, I was in heaven and my heart was pumping a hundred miles an hour. ahhhhh. oooohhhhhh. ...in the other, I was thinking that my thai friend was playing a joke on me. get this, my paranoia got to me. so, I never did accept the offer.

but sometimes I wonder about that girl. still remember her face. ...so long ago. she was one of those girls that you wouldn't mind having a dozen kids with.

[Mr. Farang]

Why do some of you guys want to tie yourself down to some woman who you treat as though she is on an allowance?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

There are many men in the world who like caring for others, watching children grow, the garden grow, building a house v. roaming from woman-to-woman without any care or responsibility.

Complimentary, there are many women in the world who like caring for others, watching children grow, the garden grow, building a house v. roaming from man-to-man without any care or responsibility.

Let it be.

Edited September 4, 2005 by Mr. Farang

[Mr. Farang]

I remember once running around town with some rich thai guys.  I saw this really pretty girl who worked at a car dealership.  my thai friend saw the way I was looking at her.  ..he asked me if I would like her as a "gig".  I didn't know what a gig was at the time.  so, I asked him what it was.  he replied, a sidekick.  someone who would reserve part of the day to be with you everyday at a price.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Dear HaHa,

Can you share with us any understanding of the history of the use of the word "gig" in Thailand?

Thanks!

[TRIPxCORE]

So, I would like to ask the Thai women on this forum about it then. How do you feel about this? Is it bad? Is it good? Does it not matter because it's just a matter of circumstance for some women?

Judging from HaHa's story, it seems its no big deal and a part of daily life for women. Is that wrong? From my understanding, having more than one wife is a very old custom in Thailand much in the same way it was in China. This very old custom is no longer being widely accepted by Thais is it?

[bina]

we've discussed it in an other forum thread....

the mia noi knows about the wife, the wife doesnt know or (looks the other way) ... its more than financial support for the woman and the man -- many 'old fashion type' weddings were prearranged or 'influenced' by parents' wants, the man/woman often fall in love later in life with the 'mia noi' although they care for their present wife and family and the arrangement in convenient too; they are not high class whores but a second partner...

btw, the guy i wrote about before in this thread, well his mia noi just called to say she is getting married in december.... i guess she got tired of waiting ... and he really really loved her; he also really really loves his wife and kids....and he's been sending money every month, at least she called him to tell him ....

turok: its really really not just for the sex... its also companionship, a person thats more compatible, or also more/or less decorative at parties, etc.... probably a bit different than the high priced call girl type... since i would imagine that a large portion of mia noi's actually like/love their partner and not just the money.... (from the few mia noi's i've met personally)

[Mr. Farang]

So, I would like to ask the Thai women on this forum about it then.  How do you feel about this?  Is it bad?  Is it good?  Does it not matter because it's just a matter of circumstance for some women?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Laughing out loud..... based on my reading of the posts here on TV, you are not going to get an answer to your question that represents the reality of the social-economic condition of women who become "Mia Nois" or "gig". Most Thais reject the term "custom" in this context, and simply defer to the social-economic conditions of Thailand.

Thais are very practical people. Most Thais I have meet laugh at (what Farangs mistakenly might call) "customs" of the Western world, where many woman go to bars, drink and have sex with "handsome, slick talking guys" for fun - all without any economic benefit. They do because their social-economic condition is different than that in Thailand.

So, a nice, generous well-to-do Thai Gentlemen from BKK finds a beautiful lady. His is very rich, she and her family is poor. The Gentlemen respects the Family of the Lady and buys (or rents) a house for her to live and occasoinally makes merit (gives money, food, help) to the Family. Everyone is happy. The Lady has a fine, well mannered, generous Thai Gentlemen who take care of her and her Family. She has "Big Face" because people both envy and admire her. She makes merit by having a Gentlemen who is pleased to occasionally make merit with her Family. The Gentleman wins too, as he has the respect of most, including his "Mia Noi" .

Contrast this to how many Farangs or poor Thai men might think:

(1) How cheap can I "get the girl'?

(2) Giving money to the family is "a rip off" - or "how little can I give?"

(3) Why do people think poorly of me when I ry to be "cheap"?

Hence, the seedy dark bars are full of Farangs, loud and drunk, asking like most Farangs in Thailand normally do. Meanwhile, a very sexy "Thai Thai" woman is quitely taking care of her sick grandmother, living in a quiet house far from Soi Farangville - all the bars, alcohol, cigarette smoke, fighting, disease, etc. She takes exceptional care of her Thai Gentlemen when he visits, and the Gentlemen pays a visit to the local Temple, makes a donation, and heads, on occasion, to her Family with tokens of appreciation.

Customary?

Yes, if being Gentle, Respectful, and Mindful of people with pride, - even people of somewhat low social-economic status like to feel special, and not treated as a commodity which is bargained for the lowest possible price.

So, to kindly address the OP question - how much to pay for a second wife. That really depends on how much you love her, respect her family, your social-economic status, their social-economic status, etc. etc. If you are not well off and well healed, do not do it, as it will not be fun.

This overall concept is not something to "throw rocks at"... the social-economic conditions drive the "market conditions". No one really wants to be "Mia Noi" -- they all want to be happy, married to rich, nice, sincere, hard-working, men - men who are not drunks, abusive, filthy mouthed, disrespectful, arrogant, types. Most women prefer Gentlemen, and better to the be Mia Noi of a Gentlemen in a land where money can be hard to come by, v. the wife of a poor, cheap, abusive drunk. AND hopefully, the man will be a Gentlemen who does not look at his "Mia Noi" as if he is bargaining for cattle - willing to spend more money each month on beer than his ladies welfare!

No Lady really wants to be a Mia Noi, they simply adapt to the social-economic conditions of their nation, in this case Thailand. Hopefully, they will have good luck and met a very nice Gentleman with a good heart who does not treat her like cattle and her family like an annoyance.

Make Merit..... Tam Boon..... Do Good.... These are the "customs" of Thailand and when you "Tam Boon" you will have a good life..... it is really very simple here.

[Dragonman]

So, I would like to ask the Thai women on this forum about it then.  How do you feel about this?  Is it bad?  Is it good?  Does it not matter because it's just a matter of circumstance for some women?

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Laughing out loud..... based on my reading of the posts here on TV, you are not going to get an answer to your question that represents the reality of the social-economic condition of women who become "Mia Nois" or "gig". Most Thais reject the term "custom" in this context, and simply defer to the social-economic conditions of Thailand.

Thais are very practical people. Most Thais I have meet laugh at (what Farangs mistakenly might call) "customs" of the Western world, where many woman go to bars, drink and have sex with "handsome, slick talking guys" for fun - all without any economic benefit. They do because their social-economic condition is different than that in Thailand.

So, a nice, generous well-to-do Thai Gentlemen from BKK finds a beautiful lady. His is very rich, she and her family is poor. The Gentlemen respects the Family of the Lady and buys (or rents) a house for her to live and occasoinally makes merit (gives money, food, help) to the Family. Everyone is happy. The Lady has a fine, well mannered, generous Thai Gentlemen who take care of her and her Family. She has "Big Face" because people both envy and admire her. She makes merit by having a Gentlemen who is pleased to occasionally make merit with her Family. The Gentleman wins too, as he has the respect of most, including his "Mia Noi" .

Contrast this to how many Farangs or poor Thai men might think:

(1) How cheap can I "get the girl'?

(2) Giving money to the family is "a rip off" - or "how little can I give?"

(3) Why do people think poorly of me when I ry to be "cheap"?

Hence, the seedy dark bars are full of Farangs, loud and drunk, asking like most Farangs in Thailand normally do. Meanwhile, a very sexy "Thai Thai" woman is quitely taking care of her sick grandmother, living in a quiet house far from Soi Farangville - all the bars, alcohol, cigarette smoke, fighting, disease, etc. She takes exceptional care of her Thai Gentlemen when he visits, and the Gentlemen pays a visit to the local Temple, makes a donation, and heads, on occasion, to her Family with tokens of appreciation.

Customary?

Yes, if being Gentle, Respectful, and Mindful of people with pride, - even people of somewhat low social-economic status like to feel special, and not treated as a commodity which is bargained for the lowest possible price.

So, to kindly address the OP question - how much to pay for a second wife. That really depends on how much you love her, respect her family, your social-economic status, their social-economic status, etc. etc. If you are not well off and well healed, do not do it, as it will not be fun.

This overall concept is not something to "throw rocks at"... the social-economic conditions drive the "market conditions". No one really wants to be "Mia Noi" -- they all want to be happy, married to rich, nice, sincere, hard-working, men - men who are not drunks, abusive, filthy mouthed, disrespectful, arrogant, types. Most women prefer Gentlemen, and better to the be Mia Noi of a Gentlemen in a land where money can be hard to come by, v. the wife of a poor, cheap, abusive drunk. AND hopefully, the man will be a Gentlemen who does not look at his "Mia Noi" as if he is bargaining for cattle - willing to spend more money each month on beer than his ladies welfare!

No Lady really wants to be a Mia Noi, they simply adapt to the social-economic conditions of their nation, in this case Thailand. Hopefully, they will have good luck and met a very nice Gentleman with a good heart who does not treat her like cattle and her family like an annoyance.

Make Merit..... Tam Boon..... Do Good.... These are the "customs" of Thailand and when you "Tam Boon" you will have a good life..... it is really very simple here.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Good post Mr Farang My wife was a mia noi to a local teacher when she was young. It meant use of his car, social occasions and small presents. Also he would give her family food, etc. although they didn't approve. She didn't like the situation, but the only other option was marriage to some poor local guy on 100 baht a day, as her sister did.

When we lived in UK she just couldn't get over the fact that attractive girls in nightclubs would go back with a guy for no purpose other than fun

[captnmikey]

What an uneccesary topic this is!

Why do men find it so necessary to have women around them all the time?

I mean in this country I find it so much easier to pay the 2 hour rate and be done with her!  No families to mooch off u or old boyfirends sneeking around.  Jeez....

Why do some of you guys want to tie yourself down to some woman who you treat as though she is on an allowance?

I just don't understand the concept of a mia noi, particularly for foreign men.  Seriously, if you are a man and cant get laid in Thailand you might as well get out of the gene pool.  You are a disgrace! 

But setting up a girl in an apartment so u can give her a shtooping once in awhile is just as disgraceful. Is this the Pretty Woman syndrome again?

All I got to say is the freedom of having no attachments to any Thai woman is so much better then scheduling sex appointments with a harem of women.  I think some of these men need some hobbies.

Turok

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

two thumbs up! thank you, short time is the only time

[Dragonman]

What an uneccesary topic this is!

Why do men find it so necessary to have women around them all the time?

I mean in this country I find it so much easier to pay the 2 hour rate and be done with her!   No families to mooch off u or old boyfirends sneeking around.  Jeez....

Why do some of you guys want to tie yourself down to some woman who you treat as though she is on an allowance?

I just don't understand the concept of a mia noi, particularly for foreign men.  Seriously, if you are a man and cant get laid in Thailand you might as well get out of the gene pool.  You are a disgrace! 

But setting up a girl in an apartment so u can give her a shtooping once in awhile is just as disgraceful. Is this the Pretty Woman syndrome again?

All I got to say is the freedom of having no attachments to any Thai woman is so much better then scheduling sex appointments with a harem of women.  I think some of these men need some hobbies.

Turok

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

two thumbs up! thank you, short time is the only time

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes, but some of us need a long build up.

[Buff-horns]

Is this an exclusive contract ? would the mianoi owner allow her to fool around with other guys, knowingly or unknowingly ?

say if she was very hot and he couldnt handle her desires?

or if he paid her a smallish amount ,ok to live on but not enough to go madon ?

you can live on10,000 but you cant go to the Hollywood disco very often or it would all be gone.

Whay are her long term expectations ,considering that her fee is smallish and couldnt buy a house or condo or a car.

and what is her future in his plans? obviously as she starts getting long in the tooth say 27 years up, there must be a worry he would replace her with a younger model.

i guess a mianoi needs to be young and tasty ,or are there any old mianois? might as well stick with his old lady in that case.

Maybe the mianoi would start getting worried as she got older and her time was runing out and not having any savings or property to fall back on in older age.

and the threat of a younger gal replacing her.

[BambinA]

/edit forget it

Edited September 6, 2005 by BambinA

[bina]

i had a thai woman friend of almost 40 who was a mia noi for several years (in thailand)until his wife found out so she (my friend) was 'retired' without a pension as it were... she said she spent lots of money on 'charms' etc, going to wat etc to try to get him back .... she got money, jewelry, etc from him and she loved him and was willing to continue with the setup... she isnt super hot but is educated, tri lingual (muslem!! family but she non practicing) and rather 'wild' and sensuous... rather a free spirit type... he was a high level business man and his wife i guess was also rather 'stuffy'...

on the other hand , she has a sister here who was married to an israeli man, divorced, and now she now has three boyfriends (all thai, all working here) , she supports one, and the other two support her (she works as manpower manager for some thai/israeli company making good money but has expensive tastes), one knows about the others, the others dont know about each other (yet), i guess she hs them for the excitement or prestige etc... she is looking apperently to be 'kept' by an israeli or thai bussiness man type or higher, that is her goal she once stated to me (marriage is not an option, mia noi is no problem for her, she's already had one child, likes her time to herself) she is not beautiful but there is definately something attractive about her also, she is also 40+...

her expectations: being really a 'second' wife, that is, until death (or first wife) do us part; affection, companionship, being taken care of, sex once a week or so, but not having a man unneccessarily messing up her apartment, lazing around and complaing about the food....not having to deal with in laws etc...

i suspose when political alliances between families and arranged marriages were prevalent, a wife was an aquisition to the family and a 'little wife' may be the woman a man fell in love with but was unable to officially marry, and the woman did get some kind of 'status' and the custom/useage just carried on... after all, in southern u.s.a. many a southern gentleman was married off by his family and later had a 'coloured (sic)' or indian woman as a 'second wife' for love and romance and sex....

not saying its good or bad....

i know beduins with several wives (they live together in same area but housed separately) and they (the men) say its basically a big head ache and more trouble then its worth...some of the women arent keen on it, some dont mind (the more educated, the more they mind of course!!!)

caveat emptor!!!!

[Totster]

/edit  forget it

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Forget what.. ?

totster

[Mr. Farang]

Good post Mr Farang My wife was a mia noi to a local teacher when she was young. It meant use of his car, social occasions and small presents. Also he would give her family food, etc. although they didn't approve. She didn't like the situation, but the only other option was marriage to some poor local guy on 100 baht a day, as her sister did.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Thank you for your kindness, Dragonman.

As you describe, the choices people make in life are often are choices between two or more suboptimal situations.