1 Year Away From The Wife

[Semper]

Who knows more about marriage a guy who has been married a bunch of times with a bunch of kids and got divorced a bunch of times or a guy who has only been married once with no children? One has experience but his experiences have been failures?

Who knows more about married women in Thailand a guy who is married to a Thai woman but does not live in Thailand or a guy who lives in Thailand and watches the goings on of married women who have foreign husbands? I guess it depends if your wife is different.

That many men would bet their life savings on a game with 50/50 odds has always been a source of amazement to me? And subtract from that the difficulties of a cross cultural relationship. Wow.

Like most things in life you ONLY usually here the disaster stories and guess where they end up????

Of course i never said how many girlfriends id had over the years before deciding to marry??

Id say it makes no difference if you live in Thailand or not as to whether your wife will cheat, if shes the type to cheat shell do it wherever you are.

I wouldnt say the odds are 50/50 if you know the horse your'e betting on.

Unfortunately, one doesn't know until it's to late.

[F1fanatic]

Welcome back to Thailand. I DO know how you manage to remain celibate. It's the same way men do who have been married for 30 years and are still iiving with their wives. If people are busy it is no problem. However, there is the old story that still rings true... Idle hands are the devil's workshop.

I'm just about to begin my annual 7 months away in Canada. Fortunately, I have a lot to look forward to or I wouldn't leave. All my friends here are in a bit of a panic knowing this is my last week, and they are booking time to see me.

"It's the same way men do who have been married for 30 years and are still iiving with their wives". Presumably you're not talking about those that move to Thailand with wives, who are bringing "sand to the beach".....

I've no doubt at all that all your friends are "booking to see you". You're obviously a well-grounded, honest person that everyone loves.

Frankly, I often wonder why men bring their wives to Thailand, and for what reasons other than a nice holiday in a safe country with a warm climate. I guess it's different if you were stationed in Thailand on business and were forced by economics to go there. However, just up-rooting your family to go somewhere else seems a little strange to me... unless there are already hidden problems within a marriage.

I had no intention of EVER up-rooting my family, leaving my friends and moving to a foreign country. But, once I visited Thailand for the first time at the request of a friend, I never looked back. Of course, I was ALREADY single at the time and had no intention of ever getting married again. And, I don't want a permanent relationship for no other reason than I'm too old to marry someone I might find attractive, but who I have nothing in common with other than great sex.

My honesty and non-judgemental personality is a bit strange to some Thai women, but once they get to know I won't lie to them then I get along very well. They know I don't care what they do or who they are with and they don't have to play games with me. They also know I'll help them anyway I can so long as they don't treat me like an ATM. If they screw up then that is their problem and their loss. They don't get many second chances. I'm still friends with many of my former lovers. We just have a mutual understanding of each other.

"Frankly, I often wonder why men bring their wives to Thailand, and for what reasons other than a nice holiday in a safe country with a warm climate"

I honestly don't know what to say.... You think men "bring their wives to Thailand" - you cannot conceive that husbands do not see their wives as something other than 'a bit of furniture' - the wife many actually be a human being too!

[IanForbes]

Frankly, I wouldn't WANT to be a siingle Western woman (even a very good looking one) living in Thailand and looking for a man, unless they were looking for a Thai husband. There is just too much competition from the locals who have no qualms about moving in on another woman's man. Jealousy is rampant amongst Thai women. and they are pretty hot headed if some other gal moves in on their territory. And, because most men think with their little head instead of their big one they are ripe for the plucking by a cute Thai lass who knows the ropes. Many guys are pretty dense when it comes to women on the make.

[MSingh]

Yes. Thai women find any farang man attractive whereas Western women have no time for them at all.

There is no "competition for men from the West" - but those that are unattractive in the West will be amazed at how attractive they are here...

And if one was attractive to women in the West the mind boggles at what will happen in Thailand.

Please tell me you two are being sarcastic as you seemed to have left out the on both of your Posts ??

We make the mistake of assuming that people understand irony.

No, you mad ethe mistake of leaving off the as after reading hundreds of Posts on teh Website over the Years, you can never be quite sure..

[F1fanatic]

You're right - sorry!

[longstebe]

Youre not the only one doing this Ive done this for over 6 years, oh sure everyone here will tell you my wife is banging like crazy when Im not there but then they live in a kind of fantasy world and their own relationships obviously have no trust.

I come to Thailand twice a year for 2-3 months and am then in the UK for the rest of the year.

Ive done this since 2005 and the internet keeps us in touch easily + she is very busy running her business she has little time for anything else.

So that 5 years married and no kids because unlike many here they were planned for around about now, we got married and chose not to have any until I was there and we had a house built, she controls all the money and has about 3 million in our accounts and about 80% of this she has earnt herself.

Guess that blows many of the "All Thai girls are" myths out of the water.

Im 47 shes 34.

Shell be visitng the Uk soon her second time here in 5 years and Ill be there permanently in August which is great for both of us, Ive never had any issues with her, language was the biggest barrier she had a full time job before we met which she quit when she started her own business 12 months after we met, w e still meet up with her old workmates occasionally for lunch during their lumch hours.

I could not ask for a better wife, Id never been married before and never had any kids.

Good luck

Good post.

Work was the reason I was away for so long, I've made a promise to myself that I won't be away for so long ever again. The wife and I understand I need to work away to earn a living for us both but a year is too much for both parties. I'm very fortunate to have made a decent amount of money but certainly not enough to retire at the grand old age of 36 .

The wifey attends university and has just finished her 2nd year so that keeps her busy which also helps. Fingers crossed I will be a little closer to home the next time I go to work.

[IanForbes]

Good luck with the future, Longstebe. You guys are still very young and just at the start of your lives together. Nobody can predict the future, so just take the bad with the good and press forward. There's always going to be ups and downs. It really helps if you both have your own interests and neither of you are "needy". A needy person is always a drain on the other and eventually it tires the stronger person out. The couples that I see who are the happiest are the ones who are independent and complete unto themselves. If the two of you were away from each other for a year and still mesh when you get back together that tells me you are both independent.

[longstebe]

Good luck with the future, Longstebe. You guys are still very young and just at the start of your lives together. Nobody can predict the future, so just take the bad with the good and press forward. There's always going to be ups and downs. It really helps if you both have your own interests and neither of you are "needy". A needy person is always a drain on the other and eventually it tires the stronger person out. The couples that I see who are the happiest are the ones who are independent and complete unto themselves. If the two of you were away from each other for a year and still mesh when you get back together that tells me you are both independent.

Thanks a bunch Ian.

The wife is very understanding and realistic. She's made up when I go away and work, she knows the money's coming in then .

[tlcwaterfall]

Welcome back to Thailand. I DO know how you manage to remain celibate. It's the same way men do who have been married for 30 years and are still iiving with their wives. If people are busy it is no problem. However, there is the old story that still rings true... Idle hands are the devil's workshop.

I'm just about to begin my annual 7 months away in Canada. Fortunately, I have a lot to look forward to or I wouldn't leave. All my friends here are in a bit of a panic knowing this is my last week, and they are booking time to see me.

"It's the same way men do who have been married for 30 years and are still iiving with their wives". Presumably you're not talking about those that move to Thailand with wives, who are bringing "sand to the beach".....

I've no doubt at all that all your friends are "booking to see you". You're obviously a well-grounded, honest person that everyone loves.

Frankly, I often wonder why men bring their wives to Thailand, and for what reasons other than a nice holiday in a safe country with a warm climate. I guess it's different if you were stationed in Thailand on business and were forced by economics to go there. However, just up-rooting your family to go somewhere else seems a little strange to me... unless there are already hidden problems within a marriage.

I had no intention of EVER up-rooting my family, leaving my friends and moving to a foreign country. But, once I visited Thailand for the first time at the request of a friend, I never looked back. Of course, I was ALREADY single at the time and had no intention of ever getting married again. And, I don't want a permanent relationship for no other reason than I'm too old to marry someone I might find attractive, but who I have nothing in common with other than great sex.

My honesty and non-judgemental personality is a bit strange to some Thai women, but once they get to know I won't lie to them then I get along very well. They know I don't care what they do or who they are with and they don't have to play games with me. They also know I'll help them anyway I can so long as they don't treat me like an ATM. If they screw up then that is their problem and their loss. They don't get many second chances. I'm still friends with many of my former lovers. We just have a mutual understanding of each other.

"Frankly, I often wonder why men bring their wives to Thailand, and for what reasons other than a nice holiday in a safe country with a warm climate"

I honestly don't know what to say.... You think men "bring their wives to Thailand" - you cannot conceive that husbands do not see their wives as something other than 'a bit of furniture' - the wife many actually be a human being too!

I absolutely love your posts as it is both refreshing and welcome to hear a western womens point of view on this subject. I certainly do not agree with much you have said but love to hear more thoughts from a western women point of view.

I hope you continue to be forthright with your views as it will give all members of the board a chance to see things from a different genders point of view.