Why Wont The Wife Settle

[thequietman]

guys, as i,m typing this she is moving in her sleep. the sounds off on the computer and all that can be heard is little clicks of my mouse. she has been like this since i met her 8 years ago. if i,m not sleeping beside her....... she wont settle. i have asked her is it a trust thing. is she scared i might sneak into town for a bit of mischief. she never really gives me a straight answer. i have never messed around on her (at least not around myhome town anyway, the odd excursion with friends) or got caught.

even if i,m in the bedroom watching a movie, shes in every ten minutes checking do i need anything.

does anyone else have any experience with this little minor irritation with their wife/gf. its not a complaint per say, its just an observation.

[saraburioz]

Just because you cheat on your wife in a different town, it makes it alright?

don't be so bloody selfish

[MrsMills]

even if i,m in the bedroom watching a movie, shes in every ten minutes checking do i need anything.

does anyone else have any experience with this little minor irritation with their wife/gf. its not a complaint per say, its just an observation

NO!

[thequietman]

Just because you cheat on your wife in a different town, it makes it alright?

don't be so bloody selfish

please dont mis quote me, i said mess around,flirt etc all harmless stuff. never cheated on her. i,m going on a nite out with afriend soon but its only for harmless fun. i couldnt bare to see her face if i cheated on her. so i dont. :jap:

[IanForbes]

If you want an honest reply and this isn't just the start of a troll, then the answer is obvious. Everyone is a product of their environment. And, how we were raised as a child, as well as our built in personality when we were born, will determine what we become.

People become accustomed to how they were raised as children. In poor families it is quite common for many people to sleep in the same bed at the same time. Even sexual intercourse occurs in these situations. Other people can't sleep unless they are alone. Noise affects some people and has no affect on others. Thais seem like they can sleep through anything.

But, if a traumatic event occured when a child was young then it might affect them for the remainder of their life. The same is true for adults. If we've constantly been betrayed then it's only natural that trust in someone new is not easy to accept.

Without a thorough study it is impossible to know what is bothering your wife. And, considering the Thai's lack of discussing intimate details, I doubt if you will even learn your wife's problem.

[473geo]

If you want an honest reply and this isn't just the start of a troll, then the answer is obvious. Everyone is a product of their environment. And, how we were raised as a child, as well as our built in personality when we were born, will determine what we become.

People become accustomed to how they were raised as children. In poor families it is quite common for many people to sleep in the same bed at the same time. Even sexual intercourse occurs in these situations. Other people can't sleep unless they are alone. Noise affects some people and has no affect on others. Thais seem like they can sleep through anything.

But, if a traumatic event occured when a child was young then it might affect them for the remainder of their life. The same is true for adults. If we've constantly been betrayed then it's only natural that trust in someone new is not easy to accept.

Without a thorough study it is impossible to know what is bothering your wife. And, considering the Thai's lack of discussing intimate details, I doubt if you will even learn your wife's problem.

That is some jumble of conjecture Ian

[IanForbes]

That is some jumble of conjecture Ian

Yes it is, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be true. We never have all the facts on these topics. It's always delivered from one point of view and left to everyone else to decide an opposing viewpoint.

I have many example backing up everything I wrote, but I hate using specific situations to make a generalized statement. When I stayed in the Philippines I had many discussions with the street girls who lived any way they could to survive. They told me of growing up with 4 or 5 siblings in one bed. Incest was a common occurance. Some young women wound up commiting suicide. Others just survived by stealing or prostituting themselves. They counted themselves lucky if they found a warm, dry place to sleep at night where they weren't assaulted.

Because I treat everyone with some degree of respect, and never put myself above anyone else, I was accepted as one of the gang. And, because Filipinas all speak excellent English it wasn't hard to have a frank, open discussion. I often had 3 or 4 young women sleeping in my room or just hanging out watching television. The stories I heard made me shake my head in wonder. And, there was no reason for any of them to lie. I learned a whole new world existed that I had never experienced before. I'm under no illusion that the same things don't happen in Thailand as well. You just don't hear of them when you don't speak the language and are not part of the inner society.

[gburns57au]

My missus asks me several times in a night if I need anything or want anythiong......I thought it was cause she cares!!

[IanForbes]

My missus asks me several times in a night if I need anything or want anythiong......I thought it was cause she cares!!

All she needs to do is reach over and touch to know if you want anything. That always works for me. It is WORTH the loss of some sleep.

[Schooner]

I think that Ian nailed it. Most of us cannot even imagine the experences of these women. I too met a lot of working girls and had them hanging out at my place in Pattaya and I got to hear a lot of stories and some of them were pretty horrible.

My wife who never was a working girl grew up in a poor family. She was dumped on her grandparents back in the village while her three siblings grew up in BKK. She was 7 when she was sent there and was well aware that she was born unexpectantly and unwanted. She slept with her grandparents and for the first several years held her grandmothers hand to get to sleep. She hates to sleep alone. In fact as I type this she is visiting her cousin in Germany and we have the Skype on every night.

I don't think she was abused but who knows. I do know that more than half of the women that I knew in the states had been sexually abused and I'm pretty sure that all of the TGs I knew during my first few years of debauchery had. I do know that it is important to constantly reassure them. It's a small price to pay for their devotion, but it's also important to build their confidence and self reliance. I'm a lot older than she and at some point she will have to make it on her own and I hope that I've prepared her.

[happyrobert]

Maybe because your name is not eponymous?

click....click,click, tap...tap....click

[robblok]

I cant sleep when my wife is still awake and not in the bedroom. Because i just know she will make some noises to wake me up later.(showering... putting on cream whatever) For some reason i just cant sleep then. When she is gone working (and that is often) I have no problems sleeping. Its a subconcious thing maybe your wife suffers from the same. Just ask her if she sleeps like a rose when your not there for a whole night.

[mstribling]

From cradle to grave they're never alone.

The fact they're scared shitless of ghosts helps contribute.

[LuckyLemon]

From cradle to grave they're never alone.

The fact they're scared shitless of ghosts helps contribute.

What he says.

Thais live a communal existence, if you have a Thai wife you will be unlikely to ever have any privacy, even in the toilet.

You are now her family and she will want to be with you at all times, day and night. I quite like it.

However there is a way around it.

If you want some time alone, move her mother in with you.

[whybother]

Yep. I have the same problem. Even if I go to the toilet, she'll ask what am I doing?

[jfk]

I think that Ian nailed it. Most of us cannot even imagine the experences of these women. I too met a lot of working girls and had them hanging out at my place in Pattaya and I got to hear a lot of stories and some of them were pretty horrible.

My wife who never was a working girl grew up in a poor family. She was dumped on her grandparents back in the village while her three siblings grew up in BKK. She was 7 when she was sent there and was well aware that she was born unexpectantly and unwanted. She slept with her grandparents and for the first several years held her grandmothers hand to get to sleep. She hates to sleep alone. In fact as I type this she is visiting her cousin in Germany and we have the Skype on every night.

I don't think she was abused but who knows. I do know that more than half of the women that I knew in the states had been sexually abused and I'm pretty sure that all of the TGs I knew during my first few years of debauchery had. I do know that it is important to constantly reassure them. It's a small price to pay for their devotion, but it's also important to build their confidence and self reliance. I'm a lot older than she and at some point she will have to make it on her own and I hope that I've prepared her.

hi, yes she does come from a large enough family, 8 kids and mum and dad. she told me her father was a drunk and was always fighting with them when he was, for no apparent reason. when sober, which wasnt often, he was a good dad.the father of her kid cleared when her son was only 9 months old and never supported her. when i posted i assumed it was just another one of her endearing habits that i love. however this has given me food for thought. thanks. i love her to bits and would never intend to leave her, ever.never gave her any reason to think otherwise. however i think i now need to reinforce that intention a litle more. maybe even after 8 years and building a home and a family together

there is a little doubt that she wont tell me about. thanks guys.

[jazzbo]

Ambien.

[473geo]

That is some jumble of conjecture Ian

Yes it is, but that doesn't mean it couldn't be true. We never have all the facts on these topics. It's always delivered from one point of view and left to everyone else to decide an opposing viewpoint.

I have many example backing up everything I wrote, but I hate using specific situations to make a generalized statement. When I stayed in the Philippines I had many discussions with the street girls who lived any way they could to survive. They told me of growing up with 4 or 5 siblings in one bed. Incest was a common occurance. Some young women wound up commiting suicide. Others just survived by stealing or prostituting themselves. They counted themselves lucky if they found a warm, dry place to sleep at night where they weren't assaulted.

Because I treat everyone with some degree of respect, and never put myself above anyone else, I was accepted as one of the gang. And, because Filipinas all speak excellent English it wasn't hard to have a frank, open discussion. I often had 3 or 4 young women sleeping in my room or just hanging out watching television. The stories I heard made me shake my head in wonder. And, there was no reason for any of them to lie. I learned a whole new world existed that I had never experienced before. I'm under no illusion that the same things don't happen in Thailand as well. You just don't hear of them when you don't speak the language and are not part of the inner society.

I feel there is a giant leap from perhaps somebody being a light sleeper, and easily disturbed, to the type of suggestions you and others are projecting Ian

Are you suggesting Robblok was abused, slept in a bed with 6 others, was a victim of incest, had a bad upbringing as a child, just because he cannot sleep while his wife is moving about......of course not; but these are possile causes you are instantly prepared to offer in the case of a Thai lady..............

I'm sure many people here are sympathetic to the plight of the poor in the world, I'm sure there is sympathy for the unfortunate girls that end up in prostitution...........I'm sure many do not question your observations, but I'm not too sure many would believe that 'street girls' have no reason to lie.........

edit: usual tidy up

Edited April 16, 2011 by 473geo

[jimbeam1]

My personal take on what you are saying is first, that Thai ladies are very attentive, they will even feed you if you let them. Second they are also very insecure. You have probably given her a life that she could only have dreamed of, now she is frightened of losing it?

Maybe you should try flattering her a bit, make her feel good about herself, let her know that you really are a couple. There are some big cultural barriers to over come. As well as learning her culture, try and get her to understand some of your own.

jb1

[cardholder]

Just because you cheat on your wife in a different town, it makes it alright?

don't be so bloody selfish

[saraburioz]

Just because you cheat on your wife in a different town, it makes it alright?

don't be so bloody selfish

please dont mis quote me, i said mess around,flirt etc all harmless stuff. never cheated on her. i,m going on a nite out with afriend soon but its only for harmless fun. i couldnt bare to see her face if i cheated on her. so i dont. :jap:

Sorry, I misunderstood you.

I'm amazed with the number of guys in this country that think cheating on their wives doesn't hurt them or is ok in Thailand. These losers even admit/brag about it.

[Spoonman]

Rohypnol will assist her to settle.

[MrsMills]

I'm amazed with the number of guys in this country that think cheating on their wives doesn't hurt them or is ok in Thailand. These losers even admit/brag about it.

I agree with you.

Then again, like most things on an anonymous internet forum, it's probably all a load of <deleted>.

With the post count of a lot of the members here, they wouldn't have time to screw around, the bored neglected wife yes, but not them.

Edited April 16, 2011 by MrsMills

[electrozebra]

Insecurity is a major cause, but another cause is 'other' thai women. All my previous females here have always checked up on me and have had me watched too. Not because they think it is me who was going to stray but because they think if I am going out alone another woman is going to be tapping me up.

I've been phoned at all hours of the day and night, even at 4 in the morning to make sure i am alone if the girlfriend has been away at mothers or tending to their land, even when they have been in hospital. One in particular had her friends go to the same pub as me to make sure I sat alone. Neighbours watching me and the house too.

You on your keyboard while she is asleep might be thought of as chatting to some new woman on the internet while she sleeps.

Dangerous creatures, these other Thai women

[Oberkommando]

My g/f is usually so tired after cleaning the house, making my dinner and giving me my sponge bath that she sleeps soundly all night without interruption.

[Pacificperson]

You are her security blanket. She wants to touch you while she sleeps. The male essence keeps the ghosts away. She likes to smell your body odor. She wants to know that you haven't slipped over to the neighbor's house.

It could be any one of a number of reasons. I wouldn't worry about why she is this way. You aren't going to change her or her needs. As long as she settles when you come to bed and is getting enough sleep, you are probably OK. If you are up all night and she is unhappy because she is not getting enough sleep, then some adjustments are required.

[Tonto21]

Interesting thequiteman, I have been dating a Thai girl, “Tiger” (sorry private joke) and she is so independent, I, strangely find myself wanting to check on her, I know sad right? The thing is I’ve pretty much always seem to have ended up in the past with women who need some sort of support…some out right pain in the ass types, (abort…abort) to just being, well, a bit needy. So I hear you…. You’re not alone. All my life I’ve been going out with control freaks, manipulators and feminist Nazis, Sorry, but no twitches!

Here’s the thing, dose the good about this girl out weight the bad? We are all carrying baggage from the day we are born. But twitching as you describe…….I think she needs a vet, not a shrink! Good luck.

[zzaa09]

If you want an honest reply and this isn't just the start of a troll, then the answer is obvious. Everyone is a product of their environment. And, how we were raised as a child, as well as our built in personality when we were born, will determine what we become.

People become accustomed to how they were raised as children. In poor families it is quite common for many people to sleep in the same bed at the same time. Even sexual intercourse occurs in these situations. Other people can't sleep unless they are alone. Noise affects some people and has no affect on others. Thais seem like they can sleep through anything.

But, if a traumatic event occured when a child was young then it might affect them for the remainder of their life. The same is true for adults. If we've constantly been betrayed then it's only natural that trust in someone new is not easy to accept.

Without a thorough study it is impossible to know what is bothering your wife. And, considering the Thai's lack of discussing intimate details, I doubt if you will even learn your wife's problem.

That is some jumble of conjecture Ian

Even more so to project and meld Western psychological models as it might apply to Thai. It never works.....it's up to the individual to learn and connect on the others level.

[TheFishman1]

From cradle to grave they're never alone.

The fact they're scared shitless of ghosts helps contribute.

My g/f is usually so tired after cleaning the house, making my dinner and giving me my sponge bath that she sleeps soundly all night without interruption.

LOL

[Seismic]

Get used to it, and just relax.

after coming home from whatever gadawful country my company has sent me to, I generally cant sleep at all in the early morning, My wife wants me to hold her while she sleeps, so I spend two hours cuddling her until she drops off, and then pop downstairs to play on the computer for a couple of hours.

She just cant fall asleep unless I am holding her, but when I do, she drops off in 15 minutes.