Avoiding The Elephant Traps

[strikingsunset]

I put up a post a few weeks ago re "Monthly Budget for 3 star life in BKK" and the advice and general wisdom posted back was heartwarming and a great learning experience for me.

One of the "posters" mentioned that "living in BKK was very different to taking a holiday" I am sure it is but I feel very naive on this subject,and I want to prepare myself as much as possible to avoid falling into Elephant Traps.

So.....cutting to the chase my question is simply :

What are the obstacles/issues to address/consider when settling down to a life in BKK ?

ps.This is not a "troll post,its a subject I,ve been mulling over and thinking of posting up for some time,thanks in advance for any input you have time to give.

[Kilgore Trout]

There are some things to consider when renting an abode, if you are going to do that rather than buying one (rent for awhile first would be my advice).

Better to rent a privately owned condo rather than living in an apt. as a condo will charge govt. rates for electric whereas apts. charge a high premium per unit of electricity. This can easily save you thousands of baht per month.

Just one little tidbit

[purushanti]

Look for an area where the pollution is appreciably lower, and where one has access to a park or the river, and quiet. There are places,too, where Thais seem to live normal lives; better to live there than amidst scammers, hawkers, flesh peddlers, etc. Such is my bias. Bless them all.

[rgs2001uk]

Why Bkk, where else in Thailand have you visited and whats so great about Bkk?

What do you intend doing all day?

Where do you intend living, will you need transport to the farang ghetto of Sukhumvit?

Be very careful of the company you keep.

The Thais will judge you on the way you dress, act and speak also by the company you keep.

Under no circumstances move a girl in with you, if you must move in with a girl move into her place, makes walking out of the relationship much easier.

Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.

Never lend money to anyone, no matter how credible their story sounds, if you do give money consider getting it back as a bonus.

[CHANGOVER]

Not sure how long you've been here but I agree - why BKK? Poster above is correct in what he says.

I've lived here for 10 years and only spent about 4 months of that in BKK.

Get around to the other 76 provinces and explore.

They all have there advantages and disadvantages!

[strikingsunset]

Why Bkk, where else in Thailand have you visited and whats so great about Bkk?

What do you intend doing all day?

Where do you intend living, will you need transport to the farang ghetto of Sukhumvit?

Be very careful of the company you keep.

The Thais will judge you on the way you dress, act and speak also by the company you keep.

Under no circumstances move a girl in with you, if you must move in with a girl move into her place, makes walking out of the relationship much easier.

Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.

Never lend money to anyone, no matter how credible their story sounds, if you do give money consider getting it back as a bonus.

Hi,Thanks for this advice I am sure I would have made some huge mistakes without it.

To answer....

I thought Bangkok as I am " starting again" as they say,its a crazy place I know,but I thought it would be a good place to learn thai and I know it reasonably well and so was hoping not to get too isolated and lonely,particulary in the early days.I,ve travelled quite widely around Thailand but thought I should learn some Thai before heading out to the provinces.

Regarding my day,I intend to take Thai language classes weekday mornings,go to the gym most days,I use the internet loads and love listening to online radio at the same time.Also was thinking of taking up Salsa dancing,(it was suggested on the forum as a great way to meet people).Also I am really interested in food ( from my working life) and love cooking,not so important in BKK i know,so I can keep reasonably well occupied.

I was thinking of living near The Thailand Cultural Centre MRT stop,I had an apartment there for a month and it seemed quite a respectable area,if not around On Nut.I dont want to slip into the farang ghetto of Sukhumvit though.

Overall,and it appears the most complex and difficult issue,I want a g/f,surprise surprise,I am glad for your advice I could easily and quickly have met a girl and moved her in with me.

Just thinking,rather than this post go on too long and maybe becoming too personal,are there network groups/meetings for people looking to reside in Bangkok /Thailand ?,maybe things like this are better discussed " face to face" rather than so openly on a webpage.

Many Thanks

[msg362]

Why Bkk, where else in Thailand have you visited and whats so great about Bkk?

What do you intend doing all day?

Where do you intend living, will you need transport to the farang ghetto of Sukhumvit?

Be very careful of the company you keep.

The Thais will judge you on the way you dress, act and speak also by the company you keep.

Under no circumstances move a girl in with you, if you must move in with a girl move into her place, makes walking out of the relationship much easier.

Not everyone who smiles at you is your friend.

Never lend money to anyone, no matter how credible their story sounds, if you do give money consider getting it back as a bonus.

Hi,Thanks for this advice I am sure I would have made some huge mistakes without it.

To answer....

I thought Bangkok as I am " starting again" as they say,its a crazy place I know,but I thought it would be a good place to learn thai and I know it reasonably well and so was hoping not to get too isolated and lonely,particulary in the early days.I,ve travelled quite widely around Thailand but thought I should learn some Thai before heading out to the provinces.

Regarding my day,I intend to take Thai language classes weekday mornings,go to the gym most days,I use the internet loads and love listening to online radio at the same time.Also was thinking of taking up Salsa dancing,(it was suggested on the forum as a great way to meet people).Also I am really interested in food ( from my working life) and love cooking,not so important in BKK i know,so I can keep reasonably well occupied.

I was thinking of living near The Thailand Cultural Centre MRT stop,I had an apartment there for a month and it seemed quite a respectable area,if not around On Nut.I dont want to slip into the farang ghetto of Sukhumvit though.

Overall,and it appears the most complex and difficult issue,I want a g/f,surprise surprise,I am glad for your advice I could easily and quickly have met a girl and moved her in with me.

Just thinking,rather than this post go on too long and maybe becoming too personal,are there network groups/meetings for people looking to reside in Bangkok /Thailand ?,maybe things like this are better discussed " face to face" rather than so openly on a webpage.

Many Thanks

Visit Chiang Mai first. You can do all the things you want here. It's a manageable sized city, expats ( look at Chiang Mai expats - google it)/ Thais, good Thai lesson schools/gyms/ good universities and great countryside. One downside , it's a long way to the sea. But Really take a look first. 1 hour flight to Swampy.

[gregb]

Just keep in mind the farangs you meet in Bangkok are more likely to be working in a company, whereas those you meet outside of Bangkok are more likely to be retired. Just keep this in mind when you are thinking about how and with whom you would like to spend your days.

Nothing wrong with Bangkok. Lots of us live here with 2.3 kids, a car and the mortgage, just as people do everywhere else in the world. You will find after a fashion that Bangkok is no different than any other city in the world. It is the Thai countryside where the differences are most apparent, and some people do find they like the security of that similarity in their first few years.

Your biggest trap to avoid will be the depression that sets in around 6 months to a year. This is where the facade you see on vacation has finally peeled away, and you start to see the ugly underpinnings which make the outside veneer look much less beautiful. You also start missing the known comforts of home. It takes about that long for your perceptions to adjust. After about a year to 18 months you will have adjusted, and if you are still around then you will probably stay for a while. But that period of depression is quite severe, and many people pack it in during this period and go back to farangland.

Where you decide to spend your critical first 2 years in Thailand is mostly a matter of choice. Chiang Mai and Pattaya and most other provincial areas are going to give you a larger set of retirees, while Bangkok is going to be more anonymous and give you access to working class people and more business functions. Either way you are going to realize it is much more difficult to become a part of Thai society than you think. Many are surprised that after decades here they just don't really know all that many Thais, even though they want to. The cultural expectations in behavior are actually quite different but still very subtle, and farangs just don't tend to do well in that area.

Congratulations on your decision to move. Hope it goes well for you, but don't burn your bridges yet. This place isn't for everyone. It is very, very different from a holiday. The illusion gets old pretty fast, and you will find the substance of your existence is not nearly as exotic as you once thought.

[strikingsunset]

Just keep in mind the farangs you meet in Bangkok are more likely to be working in a company, whereas those you meet outside of Bangkok are more likely to be retired. Just keep this in mind when you are thinking about how and with whom you would like to spend your days.

Nothing wrong with Bangkok. Lots of us live here with 2.3 kids, a car and the mortgage, just as people do everywhere else in the world. You will find after a fashion that Bangkok is no different than any other city in the world. It is the Thai countryside where the differences are most apparent, and some people do find they like the security of that similarity in their first few years.

Your biggest trap to avoid will be the depression that sets in around 6 months to a year. This is where the facade you see on vacation has finally peeled away, and you start to see the ugly underpinnings which make the outside veneer look much less beautiful. You also start missing the known comforts of home. It takes about that long for your perceptions to adjust. After about a year to 18 months you will have adjusted, and if you are still around then you will probably stay for a while. But that period of depression is quite severe, and many people pack it in during this period and go back to farangland.

Where you decide to spend your critical first 2 years in Thailand is mostly a matter of choice. Chiang Mai and Pattaya and most other provincial areas are going to give you a larger set of retirees, while Bangkok is going to be more anonymous and give you access to working class people and more business functions. Either way you are going to realize it is much more difficult to become a part of Thai society than you think. Many are surprised that after decades here they just don't really know all that many Thais, even though they want to. The cultural expectations in behavior are actually quite different but still very subtle, and farangs just don't tend to do well in that area.

Hi,Many thanks for giving me the stark reality of it all ( I am not being sarcastic),I have already seen with my own eyes how hugely diificult it is to integrate,particulary when not working,not just in BKK really,but almost anywhere.To add also, I am not going to burn any bridges,I,m renting out my home in the UK and I am thinking of taking a 6 month rent in BKK and see how things pan out.I would have liked to have found a g/f to live with but all the advice seems to point to this being a disasterous plan,so I will be very wary, and for sure,not have a "move in" situation.

So I think,based on the advice given,I get myself into a daily routine,and just chill about the female scene.

I would,very much consider Chiang Mai,just with my "10 word thai" prowess I do not currently have the confidence to step out of the zone of BKK right now,hopefully If I can command some conversational Thai I can reconsider where I live.

Regards

Edited May 9, 2011 by strikingsunset

[Tafia]

I would,very much consider Chiang Mai,just with my "10 word thai" prowess I do not currently have the confidence to step out of the zone of BKK right now,hopefully If I can command some conversational Thai I can reconsider where I live.

There are schools in Chiang Mai, Udon Thani, Khon Kaen and many other places.

You certainly wouldn't be out of place at any of these or many other venues, they are modern cities with fair sized expat communities, farang food restaurants, bars as well as supermarkets etc.

Dont be too apprehensive to leave Bkk, despite what they say down there, there is life North of the Capital.

Edited May 9, 2011 by Tafia

[bolx]

Visit Chiang Mai first. You can do all the things you want here. It's a manageable sized city, expats ( look at Chiang Mai expats - google it)/ Thais, good Thai lesson schools/gyms/ good universities and great countryside. One downside , it's a long way to the sea. But Really take a look first. 1 hour flight to Swampy.

I highly recommend chiang Mai too, got everything you need there and less hectic.

Edited May 9, 2011 by soundman
Fixed quote tags.

[californiabeachboy]

I am in a similar situation - I have spent holidays in Thailand, and I am retired so thinking about spending more time there.

The biggest obstacle for me is the weather - the unrelenting, all encompassing, heat and humidity. I have been there three times in the last year or so, each time for about one month. After one month, I am done. Every time I think about coming over there for 6 months or so, I wonder how I would deal with the heat and humidity. I tried going in November because people said it was cooler and drier then, and it was, from 35C to 32C and humidity from 90% to 85%. Since I believe you are from the UK, I think the extreme change is the climate is something that is ok during a holiday, even nice, but when you live there year-round?

I actually think Bangkok is a good "landing spot" to ease the transition. Rent a place for a few months, then explore. I am going to try Chiang Mai on my next visit, even though I am a water person, because I think it is the only city in Thailand where I could handle the weather for more than a few weeks.

Good luck!

[Tafia]

I am in a similar situation - I have spent holidays in Thailand, and I am retired so thinking about spending more time there.

The biggest obstacle for me is the weather - the unrelenting, all encompassing, heat and humidity. I have been there three times in the last year or so, each time for about one month. After one month, I am done. Every time I think about coming over there for 6 months or so, I wonder how I would deal with the heat and humidity. I tried going in November because people said it was cooler and drier then, and it was, from 35C to 32C and humidity from 90% to 85%. Since I believe you are from the UK, I think the extreme change is the climate is something that is ok during a holiday, even nice, but when you live there year-round?

I actually think Bangkok is a good "landing spot" to ease the transition. Rent a place for a few months, then explore. I am going to try Chiang Mai on my next visit, even though I am a water person, because I think it is the only city in Thailand where I could handle the weather for more than a few weeks.

Good luck!

Surprisingly enough you adjust to it, I live in Udon, In March the temp dropped drastically and we were all complaining how cold it was yet the temp was around the same as a nice summers day in the UK.

[DavidSL]

I am in a similar situation - I have spent holidays in Thailand, and I am retired so thinking about spending more time there.

The biggest obstacle for me is the weather - the unrelenting, all encompassing, heat and humidity. I have been there three times in the last year or so, each time for about one month. After one month, I am done. Every time I think about coming over there for 6 months or so, I wonder how I would deal with the heat and humidity. I tried going in November because people said it was cooler and drier then, and it was, from 35C to 32C and humidity from 90% to 85%. Since I believe you are from the UK, I think the extreme change is the climate is something that is ok during a holiday, even nice, but when you live there year-round?

I actually think Bangkok is a good "landing spot" to ease the transition. Rent a place for a few months, then explore. I am going to try Chiang Mai on my next visit, even though I am a water person, because I think it is the only city in Thailand where I could handle the weather for more than a few weeks.

Good luck!

Surprisingly enough you adjust to it, I live in Udon, In March the temp dropped drastically and we were all complaining how cold it was yet the temp was around the same as a nice summers day in the UK.

Agreed. When I first moved here in May of last year it took me a good month to adjust. I had started work within the first two weeks and everyday was soaked through. After a month I was fine, it was like walking around on a nice cool day. It's hot, yes, but you do get used to it, and for me, personally, it's great for my skin. Back home I really suffer with the cold winds and grey days, but here I seem to be a lot healthier because of the sun. Just do what the Thais do and walk in the shady areas and you'll be fine. I'm slowly learning to copy them, I'm not here to get a tan, I just like the heat!