100,000 Yen Enough ?

[Wasp]

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

My three little comments on me getting tired of the "my half-my-age thai gf doubled me" story, is really a tiny drop in the ocean of these stories here.

Do you ever say anything positive or do you just sit there criticising other people's thoughts ? With your small collection of standard insults and generalisations . You don't even read what people are saying . You just see what you want to see and then criticise it . Quite sad really . ....

The men are not at all stupid . They too are trading .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

Edited June 10, 2011 by Wasp

[IanForbes]

Years ago I used to give to World Vision and other charities. I felt in a tiny way that I was helping, and even today I still think I was. But I had no real way of knowing. Then, when I became single again at age 56 I decided to do some traveling on my own. On the advice of a Canadian friend I started visiting South East Asia on a yearly basis and thoroughly enjoyed myself. However, The abject poverty through all countries was very evident, as was the start contrast between the very poor and the very wealthy. The middle class seemed to be in the minority. I tend to play the white knight in shining armour because it makes ME feel good. I could easily see that a small amount of my charity to go a lot further if I helped people directly. I got to play king on a pensioner's salary. I've got dozen of funny stories about my experiences and a few times some pretty scary ones.

Finally, I decided to sort of adopt one Thai family and try to help them in various ways. It wasn't hard to find a family like that in Thailand. My charity included getting the children a better education and show them something of the outside world beyond just trying to survive. I took the family on small vacations to the mountains and the beaches. I helped out with hospital and dental costs. And I helped the family start a small business selling ice, drinks, mixed gas and purified water. That meant buying large ice chests, 2 refrigerators, a couple of motorbikes and a side car for one of them. I also sent them about 6000 baht a month. I know that isn't enough to totally finance a family of 4, but I figured that they should have to work as well. Pure charity seldom helps anyone. The idea is to help people help themselves. I make it very plain that there will never be any more than that.

I have done this for 8 years and will continue to do so. It's been a rewarding and sometimes frustrating process but I think the good out weighs the bad. I have a close relationship with the two younger children, now 11 and 13, and they make it plain that they love me. My only hope is they will have a better life because of me. I couldn't care less about their mother. She has never told the truth since the day we met. But, despite that I'll continue trying to help. I was very upset when the older girl got pregnant at age 13 and now has year old daughter. Her life is now in tatters. The mother should have explained the facts of life to her daughter. I just hope it doesn't happen to the youngest girl.

So, in reply to the OP's question, it all depends on the situation and what you are willing to accept. Never give more than you can afford or what might be thrown away on frivolous items. Just consider whatever you give as charity and leave it at that.

[aneliane]

a/ This is the first time ever I comment on men buying Thai gf half their age and moaning about getting ripped off.

b/ Taking advantage of this country's poverty and getting girls half your age for money, is morally and sometimes legally wrong.

c / Pretending it is to "help Thai ppl " is just indecent.

d/ Telling you that this is an outrageous behavior, is indignation on my part, over what makes me ashamed to be westerner here, and of which I apology daily to every Thai I meet.

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

[transam]

a/ This is the first time ever I comment on men buying Thai gf half their age and moaning about getting ripped off.

b/ Taking advantage of this country's poverty and getting girls half your age for money, is morally and sometimes legally wrong.

c / Pretending it is to "help Thai ppl " is just indecent.

d/ Telling you that this is an outrageous behavior, is indignation on my part, over what makes me ashamed to be westerner here, and of which I apology daily to every Thai I meet.

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

You sure your in LOS, or in a log cabin in Alaska.

[baboon]

Yoshi i'm a really nice thai lady, i'm 23, I like Japanese men because they treat me good.

I have my own hairdressing business, but times are hard, not many customer and I can't survive on 10,000 baht a month.

I live in small room with 7 people, very uncomfortable, but cheap rent!

I'm a genuine person and I only want 30,000 baht a month, that is 10,000 baht less than the other woman who I think was money grabber!

Please reply, I love you

Wow. You sound like a real catch,sweetie! If things fall through with Yoshi,feel free to send me your bank details.

My name is baboon,I look really young and my hobbies are swinging from trees,bananas and showing my bottom.

I have a rich and powrful Thai/Chinese wife who I met at the UN, but she need never know......

[aneliane]

a/ This is the first time ever I comment on men buying Thai gf half their age and moaning about getting ripped off.

b/ Taking advantage of this country's poverty and getting girls half your age for money, is morally and sometimes legally wrong.

c / Pretending it is to "help Thai ppl " is just indecent.

d/ Telling you that this is an outrageous behavior, is indignation on my part, over what makes me ashamed to be westerner here, and of which I apology daily to every Thai I meet.

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

You sure your in LOS, or in a log cabin in Alaska.

Bangkok / Sukhumvit

[aneliane]

a/ This is the first time ever I comment on men buying Thai gf half their age and moaning about getting ripped off.

b/ Taking advantage of this country's poverty and getting girls half your age for money, is morally and sometimes legally wrong.

c / Pretending it is to "help Thai ppl " is just indecent.

d/ Telling you that this is an outrageous behavior, is indignation on my part, over what makes me ashamed to be westerner here, and of which I apology daily to every Thai I meet.

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

You sure your in LOS, or in a log cabin in Alaska.

Bangkok / Sukhumvit ... you should get out more

[transam]

a/ This is the first time ever I comment on men buying Thai gf half their age and moaning about getting ripped off.

b/ Taking advantage of this country's poverty and getting girls half your age for money, is morally and sometimes legally wrong.

c / Pretending it is to "help Thai ppl " is just indecent.

d/ Telling you that this is an outrageous behavior, is indignation on my part, over what makes me ashamed to be westerner here, and of which I apology daily to every Thai I meet.

They are not " tiny little drops in the ocean " . They are a continual torrent of criticism against people who have genuinely tried to help Thais but have been lied to and conned . Try to help somebody and people like you just reach for terms like "perverts" and "fools" because it's so easy to hide in an internet forum and only ever make sarcastic or acid comments . Never any attempt at all to see anything in any other way . So don't start bleating now about " tiny little drops " . Make an effort to see that a lot of people with good intentions get robbed by conniving frauds and then people like you sit on the sidelines and applaud it ! They are not "tiny little drops " . They're bitter negative comments .

It's no why they do it (which is obvious), it's the moaning I just can't take

If they know they are just trading, why do they keep coming here and moan about their GF doubling them, or "laughing with her Thai BF when she receives monthly payment"? Or call them names because she does it with others"?

Since when trading does imply exclusivity?

They pay for sex services, which in Thailand and in their country is still regarded as wrong regardless of how easy it is here.

So they should have the decency not to moan about whatever the girl does with her money.

Do crack-heads come to forums to complain he's been ripped off by their dealer ?

They just act as like they are at Big C and their coffee machine does not work and seem surprised that prostitution does not provide customer support nor compensation.

You sure your in LOS, or in a log cabin in Alaska.

Bangkok / Sukhumvit ... you should get out more

I thought by your writings the ''Get out more'' applied to yourself.

[aneliane]

Right ... so all the old men I see walking on Sukhumvit with Thai ladies half their age, are actually their "uncle"

And I guess the dozens of stories I read about been ripped off by a Thai girl was because the money for "charity"

[IanForbes]

Right ... so all the old men I see walking on Sukhumvit with Thai ladies half their age, are actually their "uncle"

And I guess the dozens of stories I read about been ripped off by a Thai girl was because the money for "charity"

What they are is men with a little gas left in the tank that they want to use up before they run dry. I'm quite sure all the nay sayers who say that is so bad are either, jealous, impotent or religious hypocrites. If not, then why do all the ads I see on television and in magazines only show young, attractive people having fun. It seems that only young people are supposed to have sex and enjoy it. Men over 50 are supposed to dry up and die. When it comes to sex I don't know one man in a hundred who would choose a fat, 50 year old woman over a young attractive woman with a good figure. Unfortunately, most men over 50 don't have that option unless they are very wealthy.

[aneliane]

Right ... so all the old men I see walking on Sukhumvit with Thai ladies half their age, are actually their "uncle"

And I guess the dozens of stories I read about been ripped off by a Thai girl was because the money for "charity"

What they are is men with a little gas left in the tank that they want to use up before they run dry. I'm quite sure all the nay sayers who say that is so bad are either, jealous, impotent or religious hypocrites. If not, then why do all the ads I see on television and in magazines only show young, attractive people having fun. It seems that only young people are supposed to have sex and enjoy it. Men over 50 are supposed to dry up and die. When it comes to sex I don't know one man in a hundred who would choose a fat, 50 year old woman over a young attractive woman with a good figure. Unfortunately, most men over 50 don't have that option unless they are very wealthy.

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Edited June 13, 2011 by aneliane

[RogueExpat]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

[transam]

Right ... so all the old men I see walking on Sukhumvit with Thai ladies half their age, are actually their "uncle"

And I guess the dozens of stories I read about been ripped off by a Thai girl was because the money for "charity"

What they are is men with a little gas left in the tank that they want to use up before they run dry. I'm quite sure all the nay sayers who say that is so bad are either, jealous, impotent or religious hypocrites. If not, then why do all the ads I see on television and in magazines only show young, attractive people having fun. It seems that only young people are supposed to have sex and enjoy it. Men over 50 are supposed to dry up and die. When it comes to sex I don't know one man in a hundred who would choose a fat, 50 year old woman over a young attractive woman with a good figure. Unfortunately, most men over 50 don't have that option unless they are very wealthy.

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Let me open your eyes a little. I live up north, l am classed by you as a senior, l go to my local builders yard, where they know me and get chatted up by TWO giggling yard girls where it all ended up asking if l can still Boom, Boom. I laugh and say adios girls. Me being a happily married bloke.

Every person has a choice how to proceed with their life in a free country, you might not like it but then what you condemn is not your life.

[aneliane]

Right ... so all the old men I see walking on Sukhumvit with Thai ladies half their age, are actually their "uncle"

And I guess the dozens of stories I read about been ripped off by a Thai girl was because the money for "charity"

What they are is men with a little gas left in the tank that they want to use up before they run dry. I'm quite sure all the nay sayers who say that is so bad are either, jealous, impotent or religious hypocrites. If not, then why do all the ads I see on television and in magazines only show young, attractive people having fun. It seems that only young people are supposed to have sex and enjoy it. Men over 50 are supposed to dry up and die. When it comes to sex I don't know one man in a hundred who would choose a fat, 50 year old woman over a young attractive woman with a good figure. Unfortunately, most men over 50 don't have that option unless they are very wealthy.

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Let me open your eyes a little. I live up north, l am classed by you as a senior, l go to my local builders yard, where they know me and get chatted up by TWO giggling yard girls where it all ended up asking if l can still Boom, Boom. I laugh and say adios girls. Me being a happily married bloke.

Every person has a choice how to proceed with their life in a free country, you might not like it but then what you condemn is not your life.

what has it got to do with anything ? Did I mention anything about ppl being happily married?

[aneliane]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

Exactly so, my point is : Don't come moaning afterward !

[dunkin2012]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

Exactly so, my point is : Don't come moaning afterward !

from my point of view, I see the Japanese underestimated that Thai chick.....

PlayBoy vs PlayGirl .

[transam]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Let me open your eyes a little. I live up north, l am classed by you as a senior, l go to my local builders yard, where they know me and get chatted up by TWO giggling yard girls where it all ended up asking if l can still Boom, Boom. I laugh and say adios girls. Me being a happily married bloke.

Every person has a choice how to proceed with their life in a free country, you might not like it but then what you condemn is not your life.

what has it got to do with anything ? Did I mention anything about ppl being happily married?

Well if you cannot see a comparison then l give up.

[aneliane]

Sorry, if you're confusing "ppl happily married" with old timers moaning about their young thai gf doubbling/ripping them, then yes, it is no use.

[F1fanatic]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

Have to agree.

After a number of years here I find those with 'sob stories' were deservedly exploited.

They are both exploiting each other, and there's no problem with that as long as both parties understand the situation.

[IanForbes]

After a number of years here I find those with 'sob stories' were deservedly exploited.

They are both exploiting each other, and there's no problem with that as long as both parties understand the situation.

I don't know if either party is exploiting the other. They both came into the arrangement with different expectations and it didn't work out. Yuu could include over 50% of all marriages in the west in the same group. It is natural for people to complain if they think they've been wronged, but a little common sense could go a long way BEFORE anyone gets into a financial agreement such as a marriage. All marriages are a financial agreement. 50% or more fail. It is like cutting the cards for everything you've worked your whole life to obtain. If you like those odds then go ahead and jump right in.

However, we haven't heard from the OP since the first page. It appears like all the nay sayers here have chased off another member with a legitimate question.

100,000 Japanese yen is about 39,000 baht and about 4 times what many middle class Thais earn each month.

[F1fanatic]

After a number of years here I find those with 'sob stories' were deservedly exploited.

They are both exploiting each other, and there's no problem with that as long as both parties understand the situation.

I don't know if either party is exploiting the other. They both came into the arrangement with different expectations and it didn't work out. Yuu could include over 50% of all marriages in the west in the same group. It is natural for people to complain if they think they've been wronged, but a little common sense could go a long way BEFORE anyone gets into a financial agreement such as a marriage. All marriages are a financial agreement. 50% or more fail. It is like cutting the cards for everything you've worked your whole life to obtain. If you like those odds then go ahead and jump right in.

However, we haven't heard from the OP since the first page. It appears like all the nay sayers here have chased off another member with a legitimate question.

100,000 Japanese yen is about 39,000 baht and about 4 times what many middle class Thais earn each month.

"All marriages are a financial agreement"

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but its not mine in the West. Only one I know married for money - although she would deny it.....

And, to be fair, when his business failed she took on cleaning jobs!

Edit - I also know one Thai women that behaved the same way when the money ran out.

Edited June 13, 2011 by F1fanatic

[IanForbes]

"All marriages are a financial agreement"

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but its not mine in the West. Only one I know married for money - although she would deny it.....

And, to be fair, when his business failed she took on cleaning jobs!

Edit - I also know one Thai women that behaved the same way when the money ran out.

They are a financial agreement even between loving couples who stay married for 60 years. They are legally drawn up that way to protect the spouse for many more things than just divorce. As you know by your own experience that they also protect a surviving spouse in a death.

As far as my own experiences are concerned, both my wives did me a favour by leaving. I just didn't realize it at the time it happened. I woulen't change a thing if given the opportunity to do it all over again. But that is looking back with hind sight. I am totally convinced that marriage is not all it's cracked up to be and should be terminated as soon as either spouse becomes miserable with the arrangement.

[F1fanatic]

"All marriages are a financial agreement"

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but its not mine in the West. Only one I know married for money - although she would deny it.....

And, to be fair, when his business failed she took on cleaning jobs!

Edit - I also know one Thai women that behaved the same way when the money ran out.

They are a financial agreement even between loving couples who stay married for 60 years. They are legally drawn up that way to protect the spouse for many more things than just divorce. As you know by your own experience that they also protect a surviving spouse in a death.

As far as my own experiences are concerned, both my wives did me a favour by leaving. I just didn't realize it at the time it happened. I woulen't change a thing if given the opportunity to do it all over again. But that is looking back with hind sight. I am totally convinced that marriage is not all it's cracked up to be and should be terminated as soon as either spouse becomes miserable with the arrangement.

Yes, I was fortunate enough to 'gain' financially by my husband's death . Partly because he was lying to me about his pension income but largely because as his wife, his g/f of two years stood no chance...

She fought though believing she had 'hit the jackpot'

BUT, when we married, like all of my friends (except one), we were earning similar amounts to our husbands. The marriages were based on pure love, not money.

Edit - I earned similar amounts to my husband throughout our married life - more at times.

Edited June 13, 2011 by F1fanatic

[aneliane]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

Have to agree.

After a number of years here I find those with 'sob stories' were deservedly exploited.

They are both exploiting each other, and there's no problem with that as long as both parties understand the situation.

yes but for some reasons, only men come to moan about their women... never seen a woman complain here

[Travel2003]

I am not really interested as to who they are and why they feel the urge to exploit young thai girls.

What I can't take is their moaning once they been ripped off /doubled.

I mean what do they expect ? Been loved for who they are ?

Who is exploiting who?

Have to agree.

After a number of years here I find those with 'sob stories' were deservedly exploited.

They are both exploiting each other, and there's no problem with that as long as both parties understand the situation.

yes but for some reasons, only men come to moan about their women... never seen a woman complain here

Really?

When counting how few women are participating here, it is a high % of them that actually complain.

;-)

Then again, I do not count the Ladies Forum, as I never enter there.

Of all the so called sob stories of the years.

I can honestly not remember the person him/herself wrote about it.

Always someone OP knows, or heard about.

So, I guess we only know what is being said/observed in public.

[Wasp]

This is a fine thing to be doing . And it has to be frustrating when you make such an ffort to help one family and they still behave in a way that doesn't even help themselves . Of course if aneliane saw you trying to help you would instantly be dismissed as a leeching pervert .... because that's the only thing they choose to see . I decided to help in a similar way when a friend in England said " You can't help everyone " . He was right . But he meant you can't help everyone so don't bother to help ANYONE . I thought :Yes , I can't help everyone --- but surely I can help ONE family . Genuine help . And when I was simply lied to and I speak about it I get described by aleniane as an old perverted moaning jealous sad fool . I suppose you have to be that way yourself if you can only describe other people in those terms and no others . To you .... good for you with your decision at least to try .

Years ago I used to give to World Vision and other charities. I felt in a tiny way that I was helping, and even today I still think I was. But I had no real way of knowing. Then, when I became single again at age 56 I decided to do some traveling on my own. On the advice of a Canadian friend I started visiting South East Asia on a yearly basis and thoroughly enjoyed myself. However, The abject poverty through all countries was very evident, as was the start contrast between the very poor and the very wealthy. The middle class seemed to be in the minority. I tend to play the white knight in shining armour because it makes ME feel good. I could easily see that a small amount of my charity to go a lot further if I helped people directly. I got to play king on a pensioner's salary. I've got dozen of funny stories about my experiences and a few times some pretty scary ones.

Finally, I decided to sort of adopt one Thai family and try to help them in various ways. It wasn't hard to find a family like that in Thailand. My charity included getting the children a better education and show them something of the outside world beyond just trying to survive. I took the family on small vacations to the mountains and the beaches. I helped out with hospital and dental costs. And I helped the family start a small business selling ice, drinks, mixed gas and purified water. That meant buying large ice chests, 2 refrigerators, a couple of motorbikes and a side car for one of them. I also sent them about 6000 baht a month. I know that isn't enough to totally finance a family of 4, but I figured that they should have to work as well. Pure charity seldom helps anyone. The idea is to help people help themselves. I make it very plain that there will never be any more than that.

I have done this for 8 years and will continue to do so. It's been a rewarding and sometimes frustrating process but I think the good out weighs the bad. I have a close relationship with the two younger children, now 11 and 13, and they make it plain that they love me. My only hope is they will have a better life because of me. I couldn't care less about their mother. She has never told the truth since the day we met. But, despite that I'll continue trying to help. I was very upset when the older girl got pregnant at age 13 and now has year old daughter. Her life is now in tatters. The mother should have explained the facts of life to her daughter. I just hope it doesn't happen to the youngest girl.

So, in reply to the OP's question, it all depends on the situation and what you are willing to accept. Never give more than you can afford or what might be thrown away on frivolous items. Just consider whatever you give as charity and leave it at that.

[CoCo55]

I have just read this topic and I am a bit confused.

Are we talking about:-

a) paying for Sex (the Japanese guy certainly seems to be)

paying for a future with someone

c) paying a girl and her family

Not everybody comes from the same financial level so I think it would be unusual for 2 parties to contribute "equally" (in financial terms) to a relationship.

There is usually inequality where age is concerned. Are some people saying that anything over, say 5 years is wrong ? Are some people saying that there is a different view where there is an inter-racial raelationship ?

[Patsycat]

"All marriages are a financial agreement"

I'm genuinely sorry that this is your experience, but its not mine in the West. Only one I know married for money - although she would deny it.....

And, to be fair, when his business failed she took on cleaning jobs!

Edit - I also know one Thai women that behaved the same way when the money ran out.

They are a financial agreement even between loving couples who stay married for 60 years. They are legally drawn up that way to protect the spouse for many more things than just divorce. As you know by your own experience that they also protect a surviving spouse in a death.

As far as my own experiences are concerned, both my wives did me a favour by leaving. I just didn't realize it at the time it happened. I woulen't change a thing if given the opportunity to do it all over again. But that is looking back with hind sight. I am totally convinced that marriage is not all it's cracked up to be and should be terminated as soon as either spouse becomes miserable with the arrangement.

Yes, I was fortunate enough to 'gain' financially by my husband's death . Partly because he was lying to me about his pension income but largely because as his wife, his g/f of two years stood no chance...

She fought though believing she had 'hit the jackpot'

BUT, when we married, like all of my friends (except one), we were earning similar amounts to our husbands. The marriages were based on pure love, not money.

Edit - I earned similar amounts to my husband throughout our married life - more at times.

Funny, my husband's girlfriend did the same thing!! and she was Swiss...

[Wasp]

The topic was about a Japanese guy who seemed to have good intentions but looked like he was stepping into a well-trodden minefield . People tried to tell him just to be a bit careful here because so many have been burnt by similar experiences . Unfortunately that effort to caution somebody has led to a diatribe of bile describing every foreign guy over 50 yeras as being a "sad , jealous , old , sick , moaning pervert " . Even when somebody has genuinely tried to help somebody .

I have just read this topic and I am a bit confused.

Are we talking about:-

a) paying for Sex (the Japanese guy certainly seems to be)

paying for a future with someone

c) paying a girl and her family

Not everybody comes from the same financial level so I think it would be unusual for 2 parties to contribute "equally" (in financial terms) to a relationship.

There is usually inequality where age is concerned. Are some people saying that anything over, say 5 years is wrong ? Are some people saying that there is a different view where there is an inter-racial raelationship ?

[seoweb2000]

I am a little older than you.. been face with the same doubts as you, so here is my advice

A. She is a good girl looking for the right man to settle down with and have a long-term relationship with you.

or

B. She is a con-artist looking at squeezing you out of however many yens you are willing to "donate" to her.

Either way, the answer can be easily found by spending a few baht to hire a private investigator. The money will be well spent and you will end up being reassured that you are making a good decision or you can save yourself a lot of heartache down the road.

I know some of the people reading this thread would thinking hiring a PI is way over the top, but trust me it is better to know her actions while you are not here..then to not know and wonder.

The emotional benefit of knowing what she will do with a good looking guy approaches her or goes into her salon and ask for specials. Will she decline?

Or when ask if she has a special someone will she mention you?

What about her after work activities? Does she go out to dance the night away with some Thai guy friends.. maybe it is her brothers? What if a hot Thai guy ( white skin, dress nice, good conversationalist-like you see on the daily Thai shows) were to approach her? Would she end up in his arms or buy him clothes using YOUR money?

Not all Thai girls are bad. But you must get the answers.

Also remember, it's not about the money. Money comes and goes, but the experience of being conned and feeling stupid lingers.

It can affect your whole outlook on relationships and how you perceive Thailand.. so thread carefully and don't say ..oh, it's only money and Tokyo can be in an earthquake and everyone can die tomorrow.

Good Luck

Edited June 17, 2011 by seoweb2000