I am always being asked what am I doing here or/and what is my job,its a pain.

I am looking for the best short answer that sidesteps the question,but is accepted,particulary by a potential g/f.............any ideas please ?

I won the lottery.

I'm on the run.

I've no idea.

what are you doing here and what is your job?

Why doesn't the OP try something novel ---- tell the truth.

what are you doing here and what is your job?

He's selling timeshare.

Oops forgot the favourite....SAS....

I always reply to that question:

BREATHING

Partaking of a Chang, with the South China Sea lapping at my feet, taking in some rays.

Crickey O'Reilly, who needs an explanation

What are you doing here or/and what is your job.

Knowing this would help us help you come up with a short answer

job? what job?

job? what job?

Exactly!

Balloon chasing.

If I told you I would have to kill you.

Only joking. :jap:

Ever heard of Grey Matter?

Me, I mind my own business.

Minding my own business, you should try it too !

This job description always gets some attention.

I do what i want to to do

I was saying I'm a CIA undercover agent looking for Bin Laden ... but since he's out I'd have to come up with something else ...

Just bark like a dog and then say " I Doolittle "

Senior research physicist. Hmm, maybe that explains my lack of dates and the eyes glazing over. I find that just telling them I'm with a university has easier acceptance.

Here are a few,

X-Ray Technician, I take pictures of the unlucky and the stupid.

Astronomer, I misinterpret the universe.

Lifeguard, I ensure that stupid people stay in the gene pool.

Business Intelligence Consultant, I help people lie consistently to their bosses.

IT Director, I repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break.

Assistant Horse Trainer I clean up an animal that makes more money then me in a year.

It seems as if the OP might be having a problem saying .... "I am retired and looking for a GF"

It seems as if the OP might be having a problem saying .... "I am retired and looking for a GF"

but don't tell my wife.

oh dear...such a charismatic smoothy....so why ARE you here..obviously not for the idle banter which is the usual avenue to better things..why don't you just answer the question and move on..it may even liven up the conversation....any "cut off" style statement you may invent may well label you as a ....name it... could invite that dreaded silence or an offer to play pool or some bar game involving plastic counters or blocks of teak...and will, maybe, send your potential sweetie further along the bar to more receptive individual.....just a thought...lol

....if you're encounter is not in a bar...go find one ..you need the practice!....

.....just kidding mate good luck in your romantic endeavors....

I was once in the toilet and was asked by some random guy " Do you work here?"

I answered

" Yeah, I clean the toilets everyday"

I was on the slow train to heaven and jumped off. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

Sheep shearer

Photographer