trent83 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Hi first post here and I've tried to make this as short as possible but its ended up a long post. Well abit about me im 28 from UK and im in a retail management position, Just over 2 months ago i meet a nice Thai women on the internet, She's 25 and works 2 jobs, one for a hotel company and the other for a property agency, she goes to university studying business management and lives 6 hours travel away from her family. The first 2 weeks of meeting went great we would talk for hours on msn and texting, We would talk about anything except money. Its a subject i try not to bring up. During the 3rd week she tells me she is really upset, her father is sick and she need to go home. I give the usual comfort talk everyday of everything will be ok, dont worry, hope your father gets better etc.... We chatted constantly during here travel and while she was at her parents, but all the time im thinking here it is, she will be saying she needs money. By the end of the 3rd week she tells me her fathers getting better and she is heading back to her apartment. I question her work, did they let you take the week as paid holidays or unpaid leave, she says paid holiday. I say good so you ok for money,she say yeah dont worry... So i leave the subject at that. Well starting the 4th week she seems a little off and distant, i ask what is wrong and she then opens upto me telling me she more than just likes me she thinks she's falling in love with me, she told her parents and family about me. After a few minutes i reply back with "I really like you too" nothing else we continue chatting as normal. Im actually abit skeptic at how can people fall in love so quick over the internet but the 5th, 6th, 7th week im find myself growing pretty strong feelings for a women half the world away. In these weeks we started chatting on webcam and blackberry messenger sending pics daily to each other while she is always saying "i miss u" and "i love you baby" Well the 8th week i talk about coming over in january for a week or two, she goes wild with excitement that im coming over to meet her and she cant wait. Well here i am in the 9th week of knowing her and here i am totally shocked... she starts jokingly talking about "wheres my wedding ring when you come over" and i say "you need a engagement ring first, maybe i buy one if we get on well when we meet" Then a big shocking reply "no need i bought one for myself so people know im getting married to you" im really taken back and shocked. She wants to get married when i come over, what as he actually said to her parents Im really at a crossroads here. I am really concerned as to why she wants to marry so quick for only knowing me for a short amount of time? She doesnt want money off me... She says she doesnt want to be known as a moneygrabber or moneywomen and that i dont need to worry about spending money on her Im just really confused why she says she loves me so much and wants to get married and start a family with me at such a short time frame of knowing each other. Any guidance and advice would be greatful as all this is new territory for me and sorry for such a long post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beechboy Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 The ball remains in your court. You do not have to be pressurised into anything when you come here. Stay cool. Think of the future implications of this marriage too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonburiram Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seriouseats Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Ladyboy Wants out of the country Wants your assets when you divorce after a month Many more possible outcome.. Rarely are woman from internet dating sites legit, even in farangland. Only the most desperate are legit and those are not prizes. If you do not wait at least a year before getting married(seriously whats the point anyways? can't be bf and girlfriend for the rest of your life?) you will deserve to get your life savings drained. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chonburiram Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Edited June 29, 2011 by Chonburiram Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrjlh Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Simple....start reading all the posts on TV here about relationships with Thai women. If you still don't get it, advice from an old man, if it's too good, too quick, too serious too fast...time to back off and coast for a long time. Play the field, enjoy yourself, and don't feel guilty about it. Many Thai women think that if a man is really serious she should get a ring. That's a warning sign! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forethat Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I'm sure she's a lovely young lady. 6 hours travel away from her family. Her family lives in Isaan, I presume...!? Six hours from Bangkok? Surin, perhaps? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tonto21 Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Hi trent83…Welcome to TV, to start with mate you're going to get called a 'troll', maybe you are, who knows a? Taking the post at face value, you have already answered your own questions. She may also be a leper nurse in her spare time and on a short list for a Nobel Prize, but to modest to say. Ask yourself this; does a burglar wear a hooped shirt, flat cap and carry a bag on his…..or her back, (let's stay PC here) with 'swag' written on it......The answers NO! A wise friend once said to me; "be careful of the ones that say they don't want anything" They generally want it all and are prepared to play the long game. So, get a grip, give yourself a slap and wake up, but I could be wrong, by all means meet the her, she may be a nice girl. Go tiger! Edited June 29, 2011 by Tonto21 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I'm sure she's a lovely young lady. 6 hours travel away from her family. Her family lives in Isaan, I presume...!? Six hours from Bangkok? Surin, perhaps? Lets not forget its ugly twin sister, Buriram. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forethat Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 I'm sure she's a lovely young lady. 6 hours travel away from her family. Her family lives in Isaan, I presume...!? Six hours from Bangkok? Surin, perhaps? Lets not forget its ugly twin sister, Buriram. run for your life... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seriouseats Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 i didnt even get that. 3weeks.. poorer and older boyfriend was in town. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OlafStapleton Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 wedding rings and engagement rings not part of Thai culture. Come and visit Have sex often Give as little money as possible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jamescollister Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Trent, go with the flow you are not a kid. Come look see and learn. Thailand has been good to some and bad for most, that's just life. Jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgs2001uk Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) No mention of sin sot yet? Meu song reu meu mai? Edited June 29, 2011 by rgs2001uk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Read the first line Meet her on the Internet then i lost interest. Many people on here who have a good idea where she is coming from would say Run as fast as you can , preferably away from her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BEENTHEREDONETHAT Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Tell her you could never get married without first having her meet your family. It can be very time consuming getting permission to go to the UK. Since you will have to be the one to arrange it, it will be you (and immigration) that determines how long the process takes. Could go on for years. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
radiola Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 just f her and then run away maybe she is joking about wedding, if not she just is into money Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PattayaParent Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Im really at a crossroads here. I am really concerned as to why she wants to marry so quick for only knowing me for a short amount of time?. she doesn't know you, you don't know her. You have both never met <deleted>!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Boxster Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Sounds like she is teasing you! Go slow and see how you guys feel in person. I have met a lot of locals and have a lot of local friends and not everyone is out to get you. There are good and bad people everywhere and in my experience, I met other fellow expats with far more disturbing behaviours/habits than I did with the locals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thighlander Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 The free stuff can be some of the most expensive. I thought I had finally met a good girl, who had been married to a policeman, and she had a job and all was well. Then she told me that she needed 20K per month. Seemed awfully high since I know many good thai ladies, who earn 7-10K per month and do just fine. thailovelinks has turned into a total sham--was that where you met her? Just walk around Victory Monument with a map in your hand (at about 5:00pm) and ask a few for directions....one could easily come away with four phone numbers in an hour--and perhaps more.......this is of course after you have gotten sick of the bar-girl scene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanLaew Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 (edited) Im really at a crossroads here. I am really concerned as to why she wants to marry so quick for only knowing me for a short amount of time?. she doesn't know you, you don't know her. You have both never met <deleted>!!! My thoughts as well. How the <deleted> can anyone say they have a serious relationship just by swapping bits and bytes over the <deleted>' internet. She has the system sussed already. If the OP is seriously thinking that she is serious, he should stay the <deleted> away from computers. Where's the walking away and shaking my head in disbelief emoticon when you most need it? Edited June 29, 2011 by NanLaew Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
honkytonklagoon Posted June 29, 2011 Share Posted June 29, 2011 Go to your local Sports shop. Buy the most expensive pair of Running shoes they have. Run, Run, and Run some more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trent83 Posted June 29, 2011 Author Share Posted June 29, 2011 Just to add to my OP and answer a few posts, i'm not trolling. I actually met her on a site like facebook, I've not joined any dating sites and don't intend to. Im not stupid enough to go blindly and marry her at first sight. I just wanted to know why she wanted to rush into things. After i posted the OP i spoke with her this evening stating i dont want to rush things and dont want to even think about marriage until we have spent alot of time together getting to know each other. Her reaction was slighty upset but said whatever i think is best as she didnt mean to pressure me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soutpeel Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Run rabbit...run rabbit...run run run... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 (edited) Just to add to my OP and answer a few posts, i'm not trolling. I actually met her on a site like facebook, I've not joined any dating sites and don't intend to. Im not stupid enough to go blindly and marry her at first sight. I just wanted to know why she wanted to rush into things. After i posted the OP i spoke with her this evening stating i dont want to rush things and dont want to even think about marriage until we have spent alot of time together getting to know each other. Her reaction was slighty upset but said whatever i think is best as she didnt mean to pressure me. My advice to you is BE CAREFUL! There's a few bits in your OP about what she first said about her father being sick that made me think 'ok she's setting him up for a sting here' Whilst it may be true that, traditionally speaking, if you are brought to meet her family, there will be some expectation of marriage, or a promise to marry but, if she is a traditional sort of girl, then she will not have told her family about you. Think about it, she's never met you, she doesn't know what you're really like, why would she go and tell her mum she's going to marry you? It may be that she's genuine, it may be that she just wants to 'bag a farang'. Shortly after the first time I came to Thailand I began talking to a few women online, one of them is now a good friend of mine, she's like my sister really, we talk quite a lot, she's met me and my girlfriend, now wife. We help each other out, it's cool. The rest of them, and I mean ALL OF THE REST OF THEM, were just looking for someone to marry. Quite how that particular scenario can ever end in any kind of happiness is beyond me, it really is. One girl, who was really nice and friendly, cute, happy, fun etc. etc. would chat online with me all the time, once I told her i wasn't going to marry her, I just wanted to be her friend and i didn't understand how people who had never actually met could be anything more than just friends, she just disappeared, a few weeks later she posted photos of her marrying some white guy up in Surin! Honestly, she just wanted to marry someone, anyone! If you want to meet her (your girl, not the 'bag a farang' nutter from Surin), come to Thailand, tell her you've got some friends coming over and you're all going to <insert place a long way from where she lives/works> spend some time there and get a feel of the place, then go meet her for a few days, have your 'get out of town' plan ready. She may be really nice, you might get on really well, but BE CAREFUL! EYES WIDE WIDE OPEN! Good luck, enjoy Thailand, see some of it first before you get tangled up in this person's life! Edited June 30, 2011 by bifftastic Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bbcd5 Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 That is cool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
egg Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 Just to add to my OP and answer a few posts, i'm not trolling. I actually met her on a site like facebook, I've not joined any dating sites and don't intend to. Im not stupid enough to go blindly and marry her at first sight. I just wanted to know why she wanted to rush into things. After i posted the OP i spoke with her this evening stating i dont want to rush things and dont want to even think about marriage until we have spent alot of time together getting to know each other. Her reaction was slighty upset but said whatever i think is best as she didnt mean to pressure me. come over and meet the girl Trent ,,, you are under no obligation ,,,if things go well , fine ,,, if not , go up country and have a good holiday over here , who knows what might happen , nothing ventured nothing gained good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seriouseats Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 he met her on a social networking site, so he's just one of those desperate nutter who send private messages to every girl from thailand? my woman gets one a day of these.. dam_n ugly guys on top.. mostly UK/germany Usually report them to FBI/interpol online link hoping they end up being a sexual predator Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bifftastic Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 he met her on a social networking site, so he's just one of those desperate nutter who send private messages to every girl from thailand? my woman gets one a day of these.. dam_n ugly guys on top.. mostly UK/germany Usually report them to FBI/interpol online link hoping they end up being a sexual predator You hope someone ends up being a sexual predator? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
supaprik Posted June 30, 2011 Share Posted June 30, 2011 "real" Thai ladies do not "ask" for wedding rings...NEVER, it is just not their culture, this is western BS picked up from western values, tread very warily, I would also say as other s have RUN but seeing as you bothered to post, I would respectfully say, GO EASY young man, eyes WIDE open and have an escape plan ( if you come ) many before have been burnt perhaps you will be another casualty of the little brown bunny syndrome. Good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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