Homosexuality And The Bible

[sbk]

On her radio show, Dr Laura Schlesinger said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22, and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following response is an open letter to Dr. Laura, penned by a US resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

=============

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath.Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan.

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus Dept. of Curriculum,

Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

http://allthingsqueer.co.za/archives/religion/60.html

[tombkk]

This famous "Letter to Laura", which must be more than 10 years old, is always fun to read again.

[sbk]

This famous "Letter to Laura", which must be more than 10 years old, is always fun to read again.

Yes, my personal favorite: "Why can't I own Canadians?"

[Ijustwannateach]

^ It's because of their cloven hooves. Unclean.

[David006]

Never seen this before..sounds like something from Richard Dawkins.a Monte Python sketch or a Bob Newhart phone call

.excellent stuff..thx for the laugh..

[tombkk]

This famous "Letter to Laura", which must be more than 10 years old, is always fun to read again.

Yes, my personal favorite: "Why can't I own Canadians?"

But then, apparently you can indeed own Mexicans.

Another thing is " Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?"

Quite some current socio-political factors mixed in, wouldn't you say?

[ozzieovaseas]

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

Thank the good lord for the superior font on Thaivisa pages, otherwise...rn...in the word burn could have looked a little like an m

[naboo]

These churches seem up for anything! Edited September 5, 2011 by naboo

[endure]

These churches seem up for anything!

That made me laugh till I cried

"Forgiveness is to swallow when you want to spit"

Edited September 5, 2011 by endure

[David006]

These churches seem up for anything!

That made me laugh till I cried

"Forgiveness is to swallow when you want to spit"

me too.... :cheesy:

[aussiebebe]

I've never had cause to post in this section of the Thai visa forum before, but that letter is hilarious - thanks for sharing.

[JamieP]

This famous "Letter to Laura", which must be more than 10 years old, is always fun to read again.

Yes, my personal favorite: "Why can't I own Canadians?"

Because the Queen owns them already........

No pun intended.

Edited September 6, 2011 by JamieP

[natalie8]

Good one! That Leviticus sounds nasty overall.

[natalie8]

Those church signs are a riot!

[kek]

As an aside to this Biblical thread can I ask some questions about the world's most popular religion and its practical implementation in Gay Thailand.

I will soon move from Bangkok to Pattaya. In Bangkok one of my favorite haunts is the Tawan bar but there are no similar muscle men hang-outs in Pattaya. However, my farang friends in Pattaya enjoy a night out in Sunee Plaza where, reputation has it, there are some local lads of dubious age.

I am reminded of the story in the Holy Qur'an, of Aisha the favorite wife of the Prophet Muhammad, who was aged 6 when they were married and aged 9 when the consummation took place.

If I convert to Islam and follow the example of the Prophet, will I be absolved from sin if I visit Sunee Plaza?

Do I have to wait 3 years after 'offing' someone or can I do it all on the same night?

Depending on different texts, the Prophet Muhammad had 11 or 13 wives. I am not into group sex on this scale so, may I ask, will 2 or 3 a night be OK?

[tombkk]

Kek, I don't know about the Q'ran. But they have laws here (and probably in your country too) that will put you in jail if the lad's under-aged.

While this thread is about religion and not the law, I thought I'd mention it. I don't care much about religion, but as a democratic-thinking person, I always follow the law. This particular law is one I support.

Should this have been meant as a joke: Child abuse is not funny. Sorry.

[Jingthing]

It's very off topic, but Kek is correct, the Islamic prophet did indeed marry an extremely underage girl (one among many wives). My understanding is that it wasn't considered "normal" even in his time and culture. The girl grew up to be an important figure in Islamic history.

Facts is facts.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Jingthing

[tombkk]

I didn't comment on that. I commented on Kek's going to off some underage boys.

[khaowong1]

I enjoyed that a lot. Thanks for posting, I will have to pass this on to some friends.

[Jingthing]

I didn't comment on that. I commented on Kek's going to off some underage boys.

Yes, but that was based on Kek's using the life of Muhammad as some kind of justification for pedophilia.

[kek]

Guys, to put your mind at rest, I am not going to take off anyone underage. I have a firm preference for men with hair they can sit on. The piece was meant to show that it is not only Christianity that needs to be lampooned.

Tombkk, indeed child abuse is not funny but it seems you have no problem joking about Judeo-Christian texts advocating slavery or murder.

Jingthing, my contribution to this thread is not off topic. Why is it OK to disparage and make jokes about the Bible's texts but not to broaden the debate to include Islam? It's the same God …

[tombkk]

Guys, to put your mind at rest, I am not going to take off anyone underage. I have a firm preference for men with hair they can sit on. The piece was meant to show that it is not only Christianity that needs to be lampooned.

Good to hear!

Tombkk, indeed child abuse is not funny but it seems you have no problem joking about Judeo-Christian texts advocating slavery or murder.

True, that's me. I don't think that slavery or murder is an ethical issue in today's societies, that's why I think jokes are in order. I believe everybody agrees on these issues. If anybody thinks Leviticus is to be taken seriously, please send your messages! I'll be happy to make fun of you any day of the week.

There are some areas, including paedophilia, about which I react more sensitively, because I believe not everybody agrees. While you probably meant to make a joke, some young boys are seriously affected every day, and I believe that includes Pattaya. While it is defined by the law what is a crime, ethics is another thing. My ethics say that children have a right to grow up without exploitation, and I'll defend my opinion.

I wouldn't defend anything written in the Bible or the Q'ran, though.

Edited September 11, 2011 by tombkk

[Jingthing]

Jingthing, my contribution to this thread is not off topic. Why is it OK to disparage and make jokes about the Bible's texts but not to broaden the debate to include Islam? It's the same God …

That's debatable. Its understood that the word "Bible" refers to the Old and New Testament, Judeo-Christian bible. The Islamic "holy" text is the Qur'an - القرآن الكريم.

[Ijustwannateach]

As far as I'm concerned it's ok to joke about all of them; established old Middle Eastern 'sacrifice the goat' religions will get little serious attention from me, whether they believe the 'Messiah' came 2000 years ago (Christians), or somewhat more recently (Muslims) or not yet (Jews).

That's whether or not homophobia is conveniently included; though, while I find that family of religions particularly obnoxious on its own; it is surprising to me how tenaciously gay people hold on even to belief sets that have typically socially condemned them. I suppose that's why the low castes in India haven't fully taken over yet.

[endure]

That's whether or not homophobia is conveniently included; though, while I find that family of religions particularly obnoxious on its own; it is surprising to me how tenaciously gay people hold on even to belief sets that have typically socially condemned them.

I'm with you on that.

[kek]

As far as I'm concerned it's ok to joke about all of them; established old Middle Eastern 'sacrifice the goat' religions will get little serious attention from me, whether they believe the 'Messiah' came 2000 years ago (Christians), or somewhat more recently (Muslims) or not yet (Jews).

That's whether or not homophobia is conveniently included; though, while I find that family of religions particularly obnoxious on its own; it is surprising to me how tenaciously gay people hold on even to belief sets that have typically socially condemned them. I suppose that's why the low castes in India haven't fully taken over yet.

If anyone wants to hear some erudite, thought provoking debates and talks on this subject I recommend going to You Tube and searching for the names:

Richard Dawkins, Christopher Hitchens and Pat Condell

All of them are seriously good at debunking the myths and flimflam of the religious fanatics. Highly recommended.