Sad Dinner-Table Stories From Strangers

[cigar7]

Another neighbour of mine was a big Czech guy, 6'4" and in great shape. He was an ambulance driver, and lifted stretchers with a body every day. He went to the gym 3 times a week, played volleyball and went swimming. He also had a farm which he personally worked during his days off from the ambulance job. He complained about my barbequing meat, and told me how unhealthy it was to eat barbequed meat, because it causes cancer. His wife and daughter complimented me on how good the roasting meat smelled. I asked him how he prepared his meat and he said he only ate boiled meat. I asked him one day what he had eaten that day, and he replied two raw potatoes. One day he did not come home. I asked his wife where he was. He had died at 4pm, at the end of his shift, in the ambulance station. He had a heart attack, and 4 paramedics worked on him the instant that he dropped to the floor, but they were unable to save him. He was 62 years old, lived a clean healthy life style, and had professional medical help the instant that he was in trouble. Kind of sad, 3 years from retirement, and kicks the bucket after living a clean healthy life style.

[IanForbes]

Another neighbour of mine was a big Czech guy, 6'4" and in great shape. He was an ambulance driver, and lifted stretchers with a body every day. He went to the gym 3 times a week, played volleyball and went swimming. He also had a farm which he personally worked during his days off from the ambulance job. He complained about my barbequing meat, and told me how unhealthy it was to eat barbequed meat, because it causes cancer. His wife and daughter complimented me on how good the roasting meat smelled. I asked him how he prepared his meat and he said he only ate boiled meat. I asked him one day what he had eaten that day, and he replied two raw potatoes. One day he did not come home. I asked his wife where he was. He had died at 4pm, at the end of his shift, in the ambulance station. He had a heart attack, and 4 paramedics worked on him the instant that he dropped to the floor, but they were unable to save him. He was 62 years old, lived a clean healthy life style, and had professional medical help the instant that he was in trouble. Kind of sad, 3 years from retirement, and kicks the bucket after living a clean healthy life style.

A good friend of mine died the same way at 60. He also lived a healthy life style: ate proper meals, kept in shape, didn't smoke and only drank in moderation. He enjoyed life to the fullest but it didn't extend his life. When you get my age (71) those stories become more frequent all the time. I've burried at least 15 good friends in the past 10 years. Last year it was 3 more. This year I have friend who won't live until Christmas. I know my days are numbered so I'm not quitting my plans for enjoying life to the fullest.

[F1fanatic]

Off topic then back on topic.......In regard to the child suicide mentioned earlier, yes there is no doubt that the story is heart rending and furthermore, more common than any of us would like to believe. My sons best friend committed suicide at 12 and even though I'm writing these words I still don't believe he meant it. I believe in most cases there is a madness that descends just before the act, and whether that madness is borne from anger, depression, desolation or any other myriad cause, in most cases people can be talked round it if you are given the chance.

There lies the problem, to the earlier story re the guy disappearing for months then turning up at the door, being refused entry, and subsequently committing suicide.......what he left behind was a legacy of guilt. In almost all cases that is what is left behind, a legacy of guilt. The worst thing about it is, in most cases the person bearing the guilt is an innocent party....it could be a sister, a brother, a Mum or Dad, any type of family member, a friend, or a relative stranger. That guilt lingers for a long time, in many cases until the end of the innocent parties life. The act of suicide echos for a long time, and I know of two cases which were surreal in cause and execution. I won't be disclosing the details.

One aspect of Ex Pat life is that we tend to make friendships far more quickly, and far deeper than in normal life. It can be compared to serving in the military, as there is an assumption of familial responsibility taken and given very early in the relationship. Any ex forces reading this will know what I'm talking about, and at their best these friendships can and will enhance your life forever.

On the downside, you can end up being wrapped up with people that you would never consider being close to in normal circumstances. Anyone that has been in Thailand for any length of time will know people who are hanging on by their fingernails, whether it be through psychological problems, drink problems, financial problems, whatever. Realistically there is no government support service in place, all the Thai police will do is collect these people off the street and drop then into the local prison where it then becomes a problem for the local embassy or consulate. These embassy staff spend their time dealing people at crisis point and they don't have the funding or the remit to do any more than that. There has been several notorious examples of this in Chiang Mai already this year and most Chiang Mai based members will be aware of who and what I'm talking about. Again I'm not going into details.

So the nub of what I'm saying is that don't be too open hearted, don't park your brain, and judgement at the airport. The vast majority of us are capable, decent self dependent people. We need to be able to draw a line between what is our responsibility, and not, and anyone considering coming to Thailand should remember that this is not some European style cradle to grave society. Take the attitude that your on your own, and if things go wrong you need to have an exit strategy. You will make outstanding friends here, but stand among us as equals, if you can't stand as an equal go home, or better yet don't come at all.

The moderators should pin a topic named " Don't park your brain at the airport", as almost all sad stories from strangers derive from them doing that. The forum and bars are full of "my thai wife/ gf sold the house / bar / car / ran off with the pool boy / bank account / family heirloom" stories.........I won't add to it.....however one evening in a Thai cafe a stranger started talking to me and said.........

He had been in Pattaya a couple of years before and had the usual bar girl / holiday romance story. The way he described it he had started off as a paying client and ended up looking after the girl till he went home. Not being a novice he made it clear to the girl that he wasn't up for being a sponsor, however he did keep in touch with her, and he had every intention of taking her on board when he came back to Thailand. After a few months she asked him for help as she was diagnosed with some type of illness, and he refused, thinking it was a financial ploy. Anyway, he lost contact with the girl, but the story bothered him. On his next trip back to Thailand he went back to the bar looking for her. No one immediately recognized the name of the girl he was talking about, and he went and downloaded a photo she had emailed him. He went back to the bar and showed the photo......one girl recognized the picture and announced....."yes, I know her, she died two months ago".

Oscar Wilde once remarked of The Old Curiosity Shop that one must have a heart of stone to read the death of little Nell without laughing.

I'm not saying that a laughed at this story however when you come to Thailand bring your brain and a hearty supply of cynicism.

I agree with the first 2 paragraphs, but personally I'm FAR less trusting here than I was in the UK and it takes far longer to earn my trust.

Experience has taught me that most Westerners here are shallow and only interested in money.

[Darrel]

............. personally I'm FAR less trusting here than I was in the UK and it takes far longer to earn my trust.

Experience has taught me that most Westerners here are shallow and only interested in money.

I'm inclined to agree.

[richardblanc]

after the usual introductions, told me that his Thai GF, for whom he had bought a cheap house in her province, and with whom he was due to be married in November, had that day emptied his ATM card of 80,000B and sent him a text message saying just "found another man: <deleted> you".

Maybe he deserved it.

we all have what we deserve one day

but if u put it that way all farang deserve it no?

MONEY CANNOT BUY LOVE

only can rent some attention

[rotary]

Due to space limitations I cannot post all the sad stories I have heard in 25 plus years....ha ha

Should I tell you about two of my friends who were looking forward to retirement and just found out they have terminal cancer? They are in their late 50s and haven't done anything but work for a living to provide lovely homes for their bitchy wives. I know they are bitchy because I've met them and I wouldn't have stayed married to either of them for more than a week. My friends got jealous when I told them about my trips to Thailand each winter, but now it's too late for them.

Or, maybe I coulld tell you the story of a friend's 10 year old child who was just recently diagnosed with leukaemia.

How about my two friends who have worked 25 years with a timber company that is closing all its mills, and my friends are being laid off with no prospects for work anywhere else in the province.

If I think really hard I can come up with a few more cheary stories like these. Let me know if you want to hear them.

Oh, sorry, you were talking about sad tales from strangers. They tend not to bother me as much as the true stories about friends with problems. I just thank my lucky stars I live the life I do and have the good health to do along with it.

[alleykat]

I was having a beer in a farang restaurant in the next town when a youngish bloke came in and sat by himself at an outside table and ordered coffee.

After he left the owner told me the poor bloke's tale of woe.

He'd met a girl on one of the islands, fell in lust and followed her back to her village where he bought a rai of land from his new found friend's mother for one million baht, built a house, bought a car and was promptly told by the 'brother' to go away or he will be killed.

He went away but kept coming back saying that he wasn't that easy to kill.

I must go and ask if he's still around.

Man, this is one case where, if it did in fact happen like this, and if I were the victim, I would have no qualms about organising for the girl and the brother(probably husband or boyfriend), to get a very severe beating, and having the house and car burned, no matter what the cost.

[Latindancer]

That is indeed a sad and moving story. BTW, If she was a little cross-eyed, it would probably have been a brain tumor.

Thank you for your diagnosis Doctor Dumbass!

............. personally I'm FAR less trusting here than I was in the UK and it takes far longer to earn my trust.

Experience has taught me that most Westerners here are shallow and only interested in money.

I'm inclined to agree.

I'm far less trusting because I've discovered that many Westerners here have psychological problems, often from alcohol (see above).

This is the second mannerless, uncalled-for nasty comment I've had on this thread alone !

Edited September 11, 2011 by Latindancer

[Latindancer]

Oh........hang on a minute...........it's the full moon.

[zzaa09]

I'm far less trusting because I've discovered that many Westerners here have psychological problems.

Without jumping to quick presumptions, it could easily be possible that such psychological impairments are natural to the Western pedigree.

[Latindancer]

I'm far less trusting because I've discovered that many Westerners here have psychological problems.

Without jumping to quick presumptions, it could easily be possible that such psychological impairments are natural to the Western pedigree.

You know, I'd actually forgotten what misanthropy was ! It's a seldom-used term, really. Hadn't encountered it much at all since my uni days. Food for thought.......but I myself think that all races simply have their own brand of madness. I used to tell my friends that it is SUCH a relief to go overseas and get away from other Westerners..........until the local brand of madness started to rear it's ugly head. Thai people have such odd idiosyncrasies !

But then, imagine what it's like for them going to a Western country ! People yelling at them on the roads at the slightest deviation into the next lane.....being blunt and mannerless.....

The English are certainly an eccentric lot........though mostly harmless.

But getting back to your comment.....I often do wonder. I've been interested in Sociopathy lately, and it's possible that there may just be a couple in this forum.......perhaps even in this thread.

I think expatriates in Thailand often do not fit into Western culture ( and I count myself as one ), for a large variety of reasons.....some benign, some malignant, or a mixture of the two. Often, though obviously not always, alcohol is a destructive addition.People do like to self-medicate, but alcohol can be such an ugly drug.

Edited September 11, 2011 by Latindancer

[Thakkar]

I heard this story at a dinner party from an accountant on a visit to South Africa, retold in verse:

He said to me,

I met a hooker in Pattaya

She said: "I am no liar

I <deleted> on command

I worth every Rand"

And now I can never retire.

An accountant from Pretoria

Loved an Issan waif named Gloria

She remained devout

Till his funds ran out

His ledgers bare, save for memories of euphoria

T

[mrdome]

I had forgotten this story until this thread brought it back to me.

A few years back i met a guy, about 30, who lived on Nana and had a decent job on an expat package.

Every day, returning home from work, he passed a bar where a slightly cross-eyed but very beautiful woman would simply smile at him as he passed. One evening while in his cups he stopped in to talk to her, and as it often happens, ended up bringing her home.

According to him, she was a very sweet thing and as time passed they began to spend more time together, though she never stayed for long.

As the relationship progressed, she became more and more lethargic and eventually lost her job in the bar for not showing up all that regularly. [... snip...]

What a horrible and very sad story. I've never heard anything like that before.

Come on the guy did her a huge favor. It's one of the best stories about Thai-foreign relations I have ever heard.

[Moonrakers]

I got talking to this guy that lives in my apartment building, friendly bloke.

He has loads of stories though, I'll just sit their listening and thinking 'yeah right'. One of his stories was about the pet tiger in his home. A pet tiger in his apartment.......... sure

The other week he showed me some photo's and guess what! The guy really did have a pet tiger in his apartment. He had to give it to some national park place when it got too big.

No I have no bloody idea whether the rest of his 'tall stories' are true or not.

[Gerryasia1]

Nothing better than this to occupy your time?

FILE IT UNDER "MISERY LOVES COMPANY".....(hmmm...GOTTA change that avatar soon '_')

[IanForbes]

I got talking to this guy that lives in my apartment building, friendly bloke.

He has loads of stories though, I'll just sit their listening and thinking 'yeah right'. One of his stories was about the pet tiger in his home. A pet tiger in his apartment.......... sure

The other week he showed me some photo's and guess what! The guy really did have a pet tiger in his apartment. He had to give it to some national park place when it got too big.

No I have no bloody idea whether the rest of his 'tall stories' are true or not.

No, that wasn't me, and I'm not going to post the picture of the tiger on my sofa AGAIN.

Yah Rakers, sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction. I think Latindancer told it best about us strange characters who wind up calling Thailand home. I'm not really an expat because I live parallel lives in two separate locations: Canada and Thailand. But, I do call Thailand my second home and I might even die there. When I get too old and smelly to take care of myself then maybe I'll just hire one of my girl friends to look in on me occasionally and bring me some food. My Canadian grandkids wouldn't get much fun out of visiting "grampa" in a Canadian old age home.

[HerbalEd]

One way to deal with this ageless issue,is to simply call these ladies out on their games very early on. And it's not just bar/go-go girls who pull this charade. As soon as they start quoting prices and terms and conditions in exchange for their undying love and affection for eternity, tell THEM to <deleted> off straight away, and escort them to the nearest exit.

It's a two way street. You are scamming them just as much as they are scamming you. They want your money and you want their youth and beauty. Seems like a fair trade to me.

[ableguy]

Should I tell you about two of my friends who were looking forward to retirement and just found out they have terminal cancer? They are in their late 50s and haven't done anything but work for a living to provide lovely homes for their bitchy wives. I know they are bitchy because I've met them and I wouldn't have stayed married to either of them for more than a week. My friends got jealous when I told them about my trips to Thailand each winter, but now it's too late for them.

Or, maybe I coulld tell you the story of a friend's 10 year old child who was just recently diagnosed with leukaemia.

How about my two friends who have worked 25 years with a timber company that is closing all its mills, and my friends are being laid off with no prospects for work anywhere else in the province.

If I think really hard I can come up with a few more cheary stories like these. Let me know if you want to hear them.

Oh, sorry, you were talking about sad tales from strangers. They tend not to bother me as much as the true stories about friends with problems. I just thank my lucky stars I live the life I do and have the good health to do along with it.

Glad I am not your friend

[Robroy]

The two Franks were expats who travelled a lot for work, & who ran into each other in a Bangkok bar. Coincidentally they were both ex-British policemen. The story was told to me by a CM journalist who knew one of them.

At the end of the longish evening, Frank 1 said, "So are you married?"

"Sure," said Frank 2. He pulled out a photo of his wife standing in front of the home he'd recently bought her.

Frank 1's jaw dropped: "That's my wife," he said. "That's my house."

(Needless to say both had 'paid for' the house, and both marriages immediately ended.)

[Jebhead]

The two Franks were expats who travelled a lot for work, & who ran into each other in a Bangkok bar. Coincidentally they were both ex-British policemen. The story was told to me by a CM journalist who knew one of them.

At the end of the longish evening, Frank 1 said, "So are you married?"

"Sure," said Frank 2. He pulled out a photo of his wife standing in front of the home he'd recently bought her.

Frank 1's jaw dropped: "That's my wife," he said. "That's my house."

(Needless to say both had 'paid for' the house, and both marriages immediately ended.)

Urban myth....

JH

[petertucker48]

t

Dylan Thomas' famous lines

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rage at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

and

"if he (death) comes near me I'm gonna rip his nipples off"

Dave Lister. (And if you don't know who he is then you haven't even begun to live).

I agree with the regret of missing out on ones dreams. Of all things, a Taiwanese bank commercial sums it up perfectly:

http://www.quickthro...dieverseen.html

I started out with nothing, and I've still got most of it left.

BRILLIANT !!!!

[IanForbes]

One way to deal with this ageless issue,is to simply call these ladies out on their games very early on. And it's not just bar/go-go girls who pull this charade. As soon as they start quoting prices and terms and conditions in exchange for their undying love and affection for eternity, tell THEM to <deleted> off straight away, and escort them to the nearest exit.

It's a two way street. You are scamming them just as much as they are scamming you. They want your money and you want their youth and beauty. Seems like a fair trade to me.

I agree, except nothing is a scam. It's a straight up business deal... same as most marriages. Very little in life worth having is totally free. A bit of effort always makes most things more enjoyable. When things come too easily they are not appreciated as much as when you've had to work hard to obtain them.

[Flatouthruthefog]

The two Franks were expats who travelled a lot for work, & who ran into each other in a Bangkok bar. Coincidentally they were both ex-British policemen. The story was told to me by a CM journalist who knew one of them.

At the end of the longish evening, Frank 1 said, "So are you married?"

"Sure," said Frank 2. He pulled out a photo of his wife standing in front of the home he'd recently bought her.

Frank 1's jaw dropped: "That's my wife," he said. "That's my house."

(Needless to say both had 'paid for' the house, and both marriages immediately ended.)

Urban myth....

JH

Urban TRUTH!

Both men had retired from the HK police.

[thaibeachlovers]

That is indeed a sad and moving story. BTW, If she was a little cross-eyed, it would probably have been a brain tumor.

So all cross-eyed people have brain tumors do they? That's a retarded comment!

JH

It's always struck me as quite odd how some people try to put words into my mouth and project their own qualities on to me. It is actually quite retarded to say what you just said. I did not (see for yourself) say that _all_ cross-eyed people have brain tumors. I offered it as a possible scenario rather than an aneurism. And if you read through the posts on this thread, it seems that it WAS a brain tumor......I had not seen that part of the post till just now. I just saw the part about "aneurism".

You seem to have a serious problem, "Jebhead". As you advertise to the world with your avatar......

If it's any help, I did not have any trouble understanding that you were saying that she might have had a tumour causing her crossed eyes, rather than saying all cross eyed people have tumours.

[sapi]

this is the tragic story that filled my life.

15 years back, i knew a guy, we weren't friend, we just knew each other. his dad run a small factory within the premises of his house. one day, his dad fired one of the employee in the factory. That night, the empolyee went back to the factory and set it a blaze... burn down the factory, the house and with my friend sister that sleeping inside.

Few years after that, my friend and I were discussing about a recent suicide regarding one girl we knew. She was 16, average score in school, with a rough life. She killed herself by drinking insecticide.

The most recent i can remember is the most crazy story i ever heard. At that time, me and my friends was hanging out while eating lunch. Few minutes after that one of my friend came back with blood on his hand and clothes....we all stand up and ask what happened. He said there had been a murder in the nearby building. The story went like this: "The murder happened at the 8th floor, inside a bathroom. The killer walked inside, cut the neck of the victim and then walked to the lift and go down to the first floor and dissappear. There were a lof of people inside and outside of the building at that time, i remember it clearly. Nobody saw a thing. My friend (the guy with blood on his clothes) said at that time he was on the 8th floor. He heard the commotion and rushed to the scene, hold the hand of the victim and try to contact the ambulance. But the ambulance never come, so he and several other people carried the victim using his car to the hospital. The victim died in his car."

All true story.

[JetsetBkk]

............. personally I'm FAR less trusting here than I was in the UK and it takes far longer to earn my trust.

Experience has taught me that most Westerners here are shallow and only interested in money.

I'm inclined to agree.

Me too.

[Kananga]

I had forgotten this story until this thread brought it back to me.

A few years back i met a guy, about 30, who lived on Nana and had a decent job on an expat package.

Every day, returning home from work, he passed a bar where a slightly cross-eyed but very beautiful woman would simply smile at him as he passed. One evening while in his cups he stopped in to talk to her, and as it often happens, ended up bringing her home.

According to him, she was a very sweet thing and as time passed they began to spend more time together, though she never stayed for long.

As the relationship progressed, she became more and more lethargic and eventually lost her job in the bar for not showing up all that regularly. Despite the fact that they had always gotten on very well and she never really asked anything of him, they lost contact until one night after about 3 months she appeared at his door with a bag asking to spend the night. He decided to let her stay just the one night though he claimed did have many reservations. He insisted she stay on the sofa, which she happily did.

Of course, she ended up staying longer than the single day, and a couple weeks of weeks passed while she remained on the sofa. When he was home, she remained unobtrusive and frequently cleaned and did his laundry, though she seemed to be slipping deeper and deeper into what he suspected was depression.

One day he returned home to find her asleep on the sofa again, and having had more than enough decided that was it, she had to go. Angrily he pulled the blanket off of her and went to shake her awake only to find her unresponsive. shaking her again, he discovered that she was dead.

Scared out of his mind he called the police and after a few hours they appeared, collected the body and took him into custody.

After a few hours he was released. In her bags were medical records from a nearby government hospital. It seems, he said, that she had been diagnosed with an inoperable tumour and had been receiving meds for over a year.

It turns out she had had an aneurysm or something of the sort in her sleep and that was the end of her. He had unwittingly provided her a safe place to die.

the police were very apologetic as they released him, though at first they thought he had something to do with her death.

he was quite drunk when he told me the story, and i never had any reason to disbelieve him. In fact, it stuck with me for some time.

What a horrible and very sad story. I've never heard anything like that before.

I thought it was quite moving.

It reminds one - even though you may not be much of a friend, you may be the best that the person has...

SC

oddly enough i said something similar to the man who told it to me.

the whole thing was quite uncomfortable at the time.

Was he a slightly overweight American guy?

[KeyserSoze01]

This is a true story told to me by a friend living in Thailand. My friend first became aware of Thailand when his farang wife was diagnosed with inoperable cancer in their home country. The doctors gave her six months to live. He began researching experimental treatments and discovered that Banglamung hospital in BKK offered the treatments. He packed up his wife and they went to BKK for an extended period of time while she received her treatments. The treatments were unsuccessful and his wife passed away, but he had been exposed to Thailand living in BKK and visiting his wife daily at the hospital. After his wife passed, he returned home to an empty house and not much more to look forward to except his grief. He decided to take early retirement, sell everything and return to Thailand to live. Today, he is re-married to a lovely Thai lady and they are living a comfortable life.

[boracic]

Does Thaivisa have enough storage on its system to accomodate all the stories this topic could generate.?

Edited September 13, 2011 by metisdead
Font reset to default forum font size.

[robbo1]

I have a friend in Australia whos TGF has 3 blokes on the go, I have warned him my wife has warned him but he keeps up the belief that she will go for him.

My wife seems to think that she has put a spell on him or some sort of black magic.

I dont I think that she is just a using bitch that will take every thing and run.

I hope for my friends sake that he will see the light.