monty1412 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Lord almighty.. what is it about Thai women.........will I ver understand what there thinking is. GF has been staying at my place a few days, we generally go down seafood markets in Tesco or other and get some fish for and BBQ. Well last night Im feeling like some farang food seeing we pretty much have been on staple diet of sex and Thai food over the last week. ( Nothing wrong with that diet of course) So i ask here would she like some spaghetti marinara... I like cooking this and have been told its pretty good. So its into the kitchen with me.. two hours later the spaghetti is almost el dente and she disappears downstairs and comes back with a bag of somtam and starts eating it.. literally minutes if not seconds before im about to serve. I ask he how she would feel if when she cooked and was just about to serve ot if I disappeared downstairs and came back with macca's or something like that. Blank look like "what have i done wrong" from her. me annoyed like hell, her annoyed at me for being annoyed... The table is set, the cutlery out the wine glass out the cork out of the Chateau Rothchild ( i wish) and she cant understand that Im pissed off. So she goes to bedroom, I eat alone and polish most of the red wine off myself and sleep alone. I mean I can get this treatment from farang women easy enough. I know you relationship guru's out there will tell me I should have discussed it and not made an issue but its just plain rude.I dont buy the cultural crap line as she would be just as pissed off if tables were turned here. One thing I do know about Thai women is the more you get to know them the less you know them. BTW.. the marinara was excellent even if it was consumed solo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaicbr Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Dunno what this has to do with bikes.. but mate you haven't been here long. Maybe you haven't realised that Thai's say yes to everything so as not to cause a problem. Are you sure she even knows what spaghetti marinara is? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taninthai Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I think if I was waiting 2 hours for spaghetti to cook I would go and get some somtam too.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Date an educated woman who has enough intelligence to think about her actions and enough respect to act on those thoughts... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ihunnieibee Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 i'll take some spaghetti......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wana Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 as long as theres enough sex ,let her eat anything she wants Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Semper Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 two hours later the spaghetti is almost el dente I can understand her a bit. 2 hours for making "spaghetti marinara" I guess she was hungry wen you staryed making it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thongkorn Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Maybe you are just a job for her , she does not realy care for you Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maccaroni man Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 2hrs is a long to wait for a meal if you are hungry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slapout Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 The OP is lucky the GF did not ask him to go out and get the somtam in between his kitchen duties. No help/suggestion from this corner on understanding Thai thinking much less a Thai/any woman's thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MangoAndCo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Maybe she was not able to say in English " Baby, I'm really hungry, do you mind me having som tam as an appetizer?" Or maybe she thought spaghetti marinara was fattening, but didn't want to disappoint you. Or... Btw, why don't you ask her about this, just to try to understand her? And to avoid annoyance in the future? This is called "building a relationship" That is if you want to take your physical relationship to an other level... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Did you ever think that by taking over the cooking you were sending the message that her cooking was not good enough? I have learnt that my wife is more comfortable if she is taking care of me, looks better in the grand scheme of things in Thailand. Fortunately she is an excellent cook and provides either great variety, or meals she knows I enjoy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KRS1 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Maybe she got the somtom as a starter salad? I could use some spaghetti. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
visions Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Not in a million years will you ever understand a Thai woman...... They cant even understand themselves!! Best to enjoy what you have when you have....then trade her in....on a later- better model. Anyway...you will get much more lasting satisfaction from a new bike than you ever will from a Thai woman. And no bad moods or arguments and the bike wont fleece you anywhere as much also!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geekfreaklover Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Haha. Sorry to laugh, but I've been there too, mate.... The idea of a romantic gesture like the male cooking is a very western gesture and generally very alien to a Thais thinking. They still have this roles and responsibilities thing like we had back in the Victorian ages... Yeah, you might see a man cooking and pouring wine for his current shack-job in the Thai soaps but you also see grand pianos in the living rooms in Thai soaps !!! I once bought an early girlfriend flowers. Ha ha ha. She told me that she can't eat flowers and would rather of had the money. My standard of women has risen a little since those days - just... I got over this with my Mrs by teaching her how to cook about the dozen Western dishes I know and she then took over. Funny thing is my son loves cooking with me, slicing the veg etc. But mommy won't let him cook with her. Oh no!! I guess its considered a womans job. My son and I still cook together and we all enjoy the meal together,,,, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Must boil down to education and age. I cooked many times for the wife / gf and she always loved it. If she pulled a stunt like that I would not be amused. Same as she would not be amused if i get some food after she has been busy in the kitchen. Thinks it just depends on the girl that you pick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I guess there is a big difference between a wife, and GF who has been living with you a few days? Tell me Robblok were you cooking for your wife from week 1 or did it take a while longer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I guess there is a big difference between a wife, and GF who has been living with you a few days? Tell me Robblok were you cooking for your wife from week 1 or did it take a while longer? I just cooked whenever it was needed. Actually my wife first went to live with me in Holland for 3 months. So yes i cooked there. At that point she just finished uni, and was quite liberal. But she did most of the cooking in these 3 months. Later when i came here we mostly got our food from restaurants. But whenever i cooked she would eat (and like it). I think its just plain disrespectful if she would not. I bet none of the wives / gf's would be happy if they cook for the guys and the guys go out and get a mc donalds menu without consulting or caring. Maybe its different for older girls that are not raised in BKK maybe they are more traditional and will feel offended. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenSnapper Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 You don't have to understand a woman. Be it Thai or Western. You have to understand how to handle them. Lots of mistakes here: 1. Show her how to cook Western food, then she can make it herself next time. 2. Never be upset about her behaviour. Big loss of face. Show some authority, then she will lose face and you'll get great sex later on. 3. Two hours for preparing spaghetti? Learn some basics in cooking! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave9000 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 My wife and I share the cooking duties and often make a hybrid (ie spaghetti a la thai topping with pork and parmesan cheese...sounds bloody 'orrible, but actually very nice). However rude is rude in any language and I expect she may just need a gentle cultural lesson. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I guess there is a big difference between a wife, and GF who has been living with you a few days? Tell me Robblok were you cooking for your wife from week 1 or did it take a while longer? I just cooked whenever it was needed. Actually my wife first went to live with me in Holland for 3 months. So yes i cooked there. At that point she just finished uni, and was quite liberal. But she did most of the cooking in these 3 months. Later when i came here we mostly got our food from restaurants. But whenever i cooked she would eat (and like it). I think its just plain disrespectful if she would not. I bet none of the wives / gf's would be happy if they cook for the guys and the guys go out and get a mc donalds menu without consulting or caring. Maybe its different for older girls that are not raised in BKK maybe they are more traditional and will feel offended. I guess I look at the cooking scenario differently Is my wife better at cooking Thai food than I......yes much better Do I need to impress my wife with my cooking skills.......no Does my wife need to impress me with her cooking skills...yes for her maybe she does....impresses me every day and I tell her so...a good opportunity to praise her and grow her confidence Do I eat Farang food, yes, but in general only banana muffins, my weakness!! Is there any reason why I would want to cook, any more than I would want to do the washing up.....not really....there is no need..... Do I have any problem with the food I am provided with.......none at all Did I cook in western relationships....yes.....did it improve the relationship.......no.....spawned jealousy in most....... Do I learn from previous experience....yes...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
robblok Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 I guess there is a big difference between a wife, and GF who has been living with you a few days? Tell me Robblok were you cooking for your wife from week 1 or did it take a while longer? I just cooked whenever it was needed. Actually my wife first went to live with me in Holland for 3 months. So yes i cooked there. At that point she just finished uni, and was quite liberal. But she did most of the cooking in these 3 months. Later when i came here we mostly got our food from restaurants. But whenever i cooked she would eat (and like it). I think its just plain disrespectful if she would not. I bet none of the wives / gf's would be happy if they cook for the guys and the guys go out and get a mc donalds menu without consulting or caring. Maybe its different for older girls that are not raised in BKK maybe they are more traditional and will feel offended. I guess I look at the cooking scenario differently Is my wife better at cooking Thai food than I......yes much better Do I need to impress my wife with my cooking skills.......no Does my wife need to impress me with her cooking skills...yes for her maybe she does....impresses me every day and I tell her so...a good opportunity to praise her and grow her confidence Do I eat Farang food, yes, but in general only banana muffins, my weakness!! Is there any reason why I would want to cook, any more than I would want to do the washing up.....not really....there is no need..... Do I have any problem with the food I am provided with.......none at all Did I cook in western relationships....yes.....did it improve the relationship.......no.....spawned jealousy in most....... Do I learn from previous experience....yes...... I could not care less if she ate my food or not. As long as she told me in advance (new dishes excluded). The thing is just that what happened to that guy was rude. If this happened to me id let her know its rude, if it happened too much i would just move on. I just need girls that speak good English (had a wife who did not long ago and it was an absolute disaster its a beginners mistake), and who are at least a bit educated in normal manners. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manarak Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 OP should have made clear to the woman the cultural implications of this dinner. In fact, what OP complains about is that he lost face. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 OP should have made clear to the woman the cultural implications of this dinner. In fact, what OP complains about is that he lost face. But got to have seconds!!...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
473geo Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) Of course he could have said nothing, put a reasonable but small plate of food in front of her and continued with the meal....... Edited October 9, 2011 by 473geo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ulysses G. Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 She probably does not like spaghetti done el dente. I would have gone and bought some somtam too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richard_smith237 Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 (edited) It was self centered and careless... No amount of cross cultural excuses can account for that.... Is it a big deal ? Of course not. Things like this are never a big deal. However, they do provide an insight and if what the OP sees is worrying, he may have some decisions to make.This is possibly the thin end of the wedge of future self centered and intolerable behavior .... Edited October 9, 2011 by richard_smith237 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hehehoho Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Man do these guys trying to treat their teelaks like a Western woman and sweep them off their feet with romance and sentimentality make me laugh. Learn one thing from this... Never, ever, ever do anything for her (or her family). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MAJIC Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 OP should have made clear to the woman the cultural implications of this dinner. In fact, what OP complains about is that he lost face. Ignorance and Rudeness can't be justified,by claiming Cultural implications, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaimate Posted October 9, 2011 Share Posted October 9, 2011 Date an educated woman who has enough intelligence to think about her actions and enough respect to act on those thoughts... Best answer i have heard for years , there are plenty here in Thailand ,you just have to know where to look. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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