The ones without manners need to be pushed to the side. It is like hitting your head against the wall to get them to understand the importance of such things.

OP should have made clear to the woman the cultural implications of this dinner.

In fact, what OP complains about is that he lost face.

Ignorance and Rudeness can't be justified,by claiming Cultural implications,

I 've been out in a group before.....I was hungry, while they were deciding to have a starter or not......I had already ordered mine

Rude....or.....common sense...

I use Nana (made in Thailand) spaghetti sauce as a base and add two cayanne peppers when I heat it up. To this I add spicy italian sausage and leave the parmeson cheese off. I also provide her a shaker of chili pepper to sprinkle on top.

If it had happened to me? I repeat the advice of another poster who said give her a little bit to eat with her Som Tom.

I am sure there are people to whom manners are very important. Emily Post comes to mind. Thai Visa is home to the wound too tight troop so don't worry about it you will have a lot of company here.

If it had happened to me? I repeat the advice of another poster who said give her a little bit to eat with her Som Tom.

I am sure there are people to whom manners are very important. Emily Post comes to mind. Thai Visa is home to the wound too tight troop so don't worry about it you will have a lot of company here.

....or make far too much of an issue of everyday trivial items.

Seems as the understanding [or connections] will ever resolve themselves.

Things are what they are, <deleted>. Certainly don;t need to dwell on false sociological differences and turn it into some political landscape.

Sure you might like to compliment Spag marinara with an accompanying bottle of wine.

Somtam probably goes better with the nose pickings they like to excavate, though.

It's all about food complimenting.

Did you ever think that by taking over the cooking you were sending the message that her cooking was not good enough? I have learnt that my wife is more comfortable if she is taking care of me, looks better in the grand scheme of things in Thailand. Fortunately she is an excellent cook and provides either great variety, or meals she knows I enjoy.

U are right. I have an American friend who came to work/live in BKK after marrying a Thai lady whom he met a dating website. She was a good friend of mine. Was the one who gave him the thumbs up when she asked me if she should consider him. He often told me that he had to be careful not to "take over" what the wife thinks is her role and duty - taking care of him and kids, even if he meant well and did it out of love. He said she would feel insulted and cry cos she felt that he must be not satisfied with her. Knowing her, I believe hm - she would trek 4 miles downhill (carrying her baby) on muddy tracks to meet him when he visits so that he would not have to walk in the rain/mud. He is a lucky man.

So he gradually learn to sit back and enjoy her pampering him.

They have since moved back to the USA.

Maybe next time try a white clam sauce topped with some balat.

stop dating issan-ladies

stop dating issan-ladies

Incredibly astute post.

You are so very very right.

No reason to close the thread......yet. but certainly reason to delete a post discussing moderation. Which I have done.

Haha. Sorry to laugh, but I've been there too, mate....

The idea of a romantic gesture like the male cooking is a very western gesture and generally very alien to a Thais thinking. They still have this roles and responsibilities thing like we had back in the Victorian ages... Yeah, you might see a man cooking and pouring wine for his current shack-job in the Thai soaps but you also see grand pianos in the living rooms in Thai soaps !!!

I once bought an early girlfriend flowers. Ha ha ha. She told me that she can't eat flowers and would rather of had the money. My standard of women has risen a little since those days - just...

I got over this with my Mrs by teaching her how to cook about the dozen Western dishes I know and she then took over. Funny thing is my son loves cooking with me, slicing the veg etc. But mommy won't let him cook with her. Oh no!! I guess its considered a womans job. My son and I still cook together and we all enjoy the meal together,,,,

I think this was the best answer. I've been hustled out of Thai kitchens before, even when just bringing plates back to be washed. In some Thai circles anything around the inner home (cooking, cleaning etc) is considered to be "woman's work". LIke others have said, if a person is hungry they want to eat NOW, not 2 hours from now. Maybe the young lady was just tired of waiting and did the only sensible thing. LIving with anybody, male or female, takes compromise.

After a while you get used to "Thai time", which varies from immediately to some time in the future to not ever. No sense in getting upset or try imposing western standards.

Date an educated woman who has enough intelligence to think about her actions and enough respect to act on those thoughts...

Exactly!!! If you wouldn't scrape the bottom of the barrel back home why would you do it here. Don't expect a poor village girl from issan to understand or even care how you feel. They are in it for one thing and it ain't your good looks.

Or romantic dinners, it seems.

2 hours to cook spaghetti? Really?

Somtam is an appetiser, not a meal. Am wondering what your GF did wrong. Anyway, bought pizza and spaghetti for workers a few times and they ate it with rice. Literally treated the pizza and spaghetti as part of the dishes to go with the rice.

It probably wouldn't have been tasty without 27 sachets of ketchup on it anyway.

so predictable get a life

^ That's a bit harsh, just because his GF prefers Somtam to Marinara and wine.

2 hours to cook spaghetti? Really?

1 hr 45 mins to find the scissors to open the packet.

Don't expect a poor village girl from issan to understand or even care how you feel. They are in it for one thing and it ain't your good looks.

I wonder why so many people seem to have such a bad impression of Thai ladies, esp those from Isaan. I have known Thai ladies from the North, Isaan and way down to the South and many of them are really good and decent women. Their happy husbands/boyfriends can attest to that. *after many years". I even know of one case where a poor young girl married an oldish guy many year her senior and could not speak much English at that time. Hwn I asked her why she did it, her answer was clear and straight from her heart.

"He has done so much to help my poor family. I care for him and learn to love him as my husband".

now, >20 yrs later, she still is with him, really loves him and cares deeply for him. Her siblings have grown up and are independent and her parents are long gone. Him? He has never been happier!

Guess it all depends on how one meets the Thai girl and the background she has. What was she doing at the time u met her? has she been exposed to bad influence already?I am sure this applies to girls everywhere, including the country I am in now. There are decent girls and there are bad girls. Even amongst those with a not so nice past, there are still gems. Why one selects a particular one to be with/marry is the key. Let the head on the shoulders make the decision.

You don't have to understand a woman. Be it Thai or Western.

You have to understand how to handle them.

Lots of mistakes here:

1. Show her how to cook Western food, then she can make it herself next time.

2. Never be upset about her behaviour. Big loss of face. Show some authority, then she will lose face and you'll get great sex later on.

3. Two hours for preparing spaghetti? Learn some basics in cooking!

lol.

A good spaghetti sauce takes 8hrs minimum.

OP should have made clear to the woman the cultural implications of this dinner.

In fact, what OP complains about is that he lost face.

Ignorance and Rudeness can't be justified,by claiming Cultural implications,

disagree - ignorance is just what it is, a result of non-instruction, and doesn't need to be excused!

had he explained to her the importance of th stunt, I am sure she would have stayed hungry to wait for the spaghetti and then properly marveled over how delicious they are.

for the wine, I am less sure... maybe Spy for her and proper wine for him?

She thinks a glass of Red better complements with somtam, no?

Honestly, if the OP would get upset over something so insignificant as this, I'd tell the girl to freakin run. But if she's the standard TV wife/GF, she probably has little options but to put up with the petty BS. Poor thing.