A Tale Of 3 Thai Chicks

[kerryk]

"His attitude and the attitude of people like him"

What attitude would that be?

The attitude that I wont be taken for a ride and act as some sort of socialist welfare fund.

The attitude my wife also shares.

The wind of change is blowing through not only Thailand but the rest of Asia, this is Bkk 2011, not the airmens club Korat or NKP 1971.

I dont feel threatened by the fact some now have options other than the paddy fields or the factory.

I dont suffer from some sort of insecurity or inferiority complex, I welcome the change, educated women now available with the financial independance not to have to accept some drunken wife beating gambling Thai, or some over the hill coffin dodger.

I see you keep harping on about the past, yesterdays man, if you past is more important than your future, then you have none, you will go the way of the dodo.

I appreciate there will always be upcountry bumpkins who place no emphasis on there daughters education, the same people who consider their pension fund to be selling their daughter, so there will always be sex for sale, its already for sale in most upcountry locations, most farang are unaware these places even exist.

I dont see my Thai friends going there to meet a potential spouse, buy them houses, land, condos and cars, most go for a couple of hours and leave, they dont fall in love with these girls or pine after them, these guys know the rules and so do the girls, its the farang that doesnt get it.

Thailand, last chance saloon for many, next stop Cambodia, only because they cant afford the 'juicy girls' in Korea or Japan.

Perhaps you could tell me KK, how many womens bedrooms you have been in where they have pictures of fat balding overweight farang on the wall, mostly I see posters of puppy dogs, mountain or beach scenes, or Korean pop stars.

The "I am not some 60 year old weighing 150 kgs looking for a farmers daughter." type of attitude.

The, "Maybe thats why you have to pay for it and I don't." type of attitude.

Touch a raw nerve did I?

You really should grow a thicker skin, this is Thailand we are living in, it hasnt as yet been plunged into the PC world.

BTW its not an attitude, its the truth, but please enlighten me what about it offends you,the fact I am not 60, not a fat knacker or the fact I am not looking for a farmers daughter?

You seem to have some problem with the fact I dont pay for it, if you chose to pay for it, its no concern of mine.

Sounds as if you are using me as a whipping post whilst you exercise some inner demons, doesnt bother me in the least.

Your two statements, “Maybe thats why you have to pay for it and I don't.” and “I am not some 60 year old weighing 150 kgs looking for a farmers daughter.”Imply that you are coming from the moral high ground and anyone who is not like you is coming from the moral low ground. You can spin what you said any way you want but any reasonable person reading would come to the same conclusion. You good others not like you bad.

You are convinced you are better than older men who pay for sex.

All I am saying is you are going through a stage in life that we all went through. It does not make you a good or bad person it is just a stage in life.

Do you really think that when you are 60 years old that you will be sexually attracted to 60 year old women? Men that are attracted to 60 year old women are few and far in between. Some 60 year old men marry 20 year old women and still try and kid themselves they are not paying for it. I count among my friends a number of older men who have done just that and will tell you with a straight face they have never paid for sex and their wives love them.

It is difficult for a young man to imagine himself as an old man. It is difficult for a young man to see himself as his wife sees him.

Maybe you can stay at the top of your game for a long time and your wife will stay with you. But if she doesn't don't fell too bad. It happens to the best of us.

Good luck to you I hope you never experience infidelity, or mercenary women as most of have.

[IanForbes]

Your two statements, "Maybe thats why you have to pay for it and I don't." and "I am not some 60 year old weighing 150 kgs looking for a farmers daughter."Imply that you are coming from the moral high ground and anyone who is not like you is coming from the moral low ground. You can spin what you said any way you want but any reasonable person reading would come to the same conclusion. You good, others not like you, bad.

You are convinced you are better than older men who pay for sex.

All I am saying is you are going through a stage in life that we all went through. It does not make you a good or bad person it is just a stage in life.

Do you really think that when you are 60 years old that you will be sexually attracted to 60 year old women? Men that are attracted to 60 year old women are few and far in between. Some 60 year old men marry 20 year old women and still try and kid themselves they are not paying for it. I count among my friends a number of older men who have done just that and will tell you with a straight face they have never paid for sex and their wives love them.

It is difficult for a young man to imagine himself as an old man. It is difficult for a young man to see himself as his wife sees him.

Maybe you can stay at the top of your game for a long time and your wife will stay with you. But if she doesn't don't fell too bad. It happens to the best of us.

Good luck to you I hope you never experience infidelity, or mercenary women as most of have.

Well said, Kerry. But then I'm an old fart looking back at the time when I knew everything, but had experienced little.

As I've said before, you pay for sex even if it isn't hard, cold cash. You pay for in in loss of freedom. Why do you think there are so many ads for Viagra and Cialis, or other men's enhancement drugs? It's not because men have a physical problem. It's because they just aren't interested in their wives sexually anymore and need a little "boost".

As the joke goes.... The wife suggested I get myself one of those dick enlargers, so Idid....she's 21 and her name's Lek. It worked wonders.

[IanForbes]

I don't know about a tale of 3 chicks, but here is the tale of 6 chicks...

[Arkady]

Thanks for your tale Saxpirant. I like the way you write and share your inner thoughts in a cut and dried manner, including some whimsical ones, e.g. how university professor happily married to a cleaner which might presage well for a marriage with a monoglot Isaan farm hand.

I think it is a good idea for you to do this reconnaissance and see for yourself what is available from TTL and similar services. However, if you are thinking of making the move I would strongly advise you to do that first and not make it contingent on finding a partner through a dating site first. You need to get the lie of land from a perspective of being settled here before aiming to make a commitment. By that time you will have met more people and will have a better idea of Thai society and Thai women. I tried dating sites some years back when I was single and already living here. I met some nice girls, many of whom had masters degrees and were from middle class families but it comes as no surprise that all the girls specifically looking for a farang husband are looking for some one who can support them (and often their families) in style. I met all sorts, including some who asked for documentary evidence of my job and salary, a truck load of factory workers who came down from Ayudhya to try their luck (if you don't like her, please choose one of us!), one who repeatedly messaged me complaining about an urgent need for money, one who posted topless pictures of herself, several who asked me to pick them up in extremely remote suburbs of Bangkok and one who had run away from a wealthy Thai-Chinese boyfriend who had just found out where she was and sent someone to set fire to her car which he had gifted her. Finally I married some one I met face to face but it I had few regrets about dating the girls I met on the internet. I learned a lot from them and enjoyed the company of some of them. It would be fun to read the experiences of Thai women who dated farang men the same way. Good luck in whatever you decide to do but don't rush into a commitment.

[rusty1976]

TLL is 90% working girls.

I do think this is correct, as I have seen many working girls in the bar log onto there TLL profile to get another revenue stream up an running.

Its the same in the Phillipines, the internet kiosk's are packed full of girls chatting to multiple men.

[IanForbes]

TLL is 90% working girls.

I do think this is correct, as I have seen many working girls in the bar log onto there TLL profile to get another revenue stream up an running.

Its the same in the Phillipines, the internet kiosk's are packed full of girls chatting to multiple men.

Ain't modern conveniences great! It takes me back to 1984 and Dire Straits... Money for nothing and chicks for free.

[saxpirant]

Thanks for your advice Arkady. I had, and have, no intention of looking for any commitment. My trip was to check a suitable place to call home for a while, and Thai women's attitudes and expectations. I'm gathering that it is a very money oriented mating game, and if I make the move and take up with a local lady, I certainly won't be supporting parents, regardless of what the law indicates. That provision wouldn't have been invoked once a year, if ever, just as the provision to take care of kids probably has never been.

I find it quite extraordinary, Garfield, that not much more than an acquaintance would give you the big eyed look and expect that you would buy Levis and perfume when she's not putting out. Amazing attitude.

90% seems like an awfully high percentage of TLL users Ian.

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

[poanoi]

I don't have a recent tale of 3 thai chicks, but here's a 3some i spotted on a ride, i didn't want to get entangled in the whole thing so i just made a shot passing by

[saxpirant]

Bit hard to tell which is connected to which??

Edited October 15, 2011 by saxpirant

[poanoi]

The girl to the right is smiling for a reason,

the guy to the left looks worried for a reason, because he is still stuck,

the guy in the middle wanted to join the party, but had to find another entrance

[brewsterbudgen]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

[kerryk]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

It is difficult for people with little long term exposure to other cultures to form an opinion that is correct in a foreign land. This is even more obvious when you throw in gender. Women don't travel alone nor work in other countries near as much as men do. Women find it even more difficult to give up cultural norms when evaluating another culture.

Feminism is closing the cultural gap in the West between the genders and younger men are more sensitive to Western mores than older men.

So you have younger men confirming the conclusions that a tourist makes after a few weeks in the Thailand.

To the question are Thai women the same as Western women; in general Western women and younger Western men answer this question in the positive with much more frequency than older men.

If an alien came down from outer space with no preconceptions he could find 100 differences and 10 similarities but still the ethnocentric among us will keep harping on the 10 similarities.

Brewster has been around for a while and has come up with a correct assumption but I would not expect a tourist or person steeped in the correctness of Western society to realise it.

[saxpirant]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

No more selfish than her thinking that a farang partner should support her parents/family!!

[kerryk]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

No more selfish than her thinking that a farang partner should support her parents/family!!

Average wage women in Thailand vs average wage women in Australia? Now do you get it?

Thai people support the family because Thailand is not a nanny state like Australia. Now do you get it?

[ludditeman]

Average wage women in Thailand vs average wage women in Australia? Now do you get it?

Thai people support the family because Thailand is not a nanny state like Australia. Now do you get it?

I was chatting (in a bar) with some pals about giving my gfs mother 3500bht a month, they came out with the same old BS as others on this forum.

(I transfer the money from my account to the mothers account, not through the gf)

My reply was the money was peanuts to me, I liked the old lady, so what did it matter if I gave her a bit of cash every month.

Some of the girls overheard my conversation, one approached me after and told me what a nice person I was, boy am I popular with the ladies in that part of town now.

[poanoi]

You will be popular with me too if you send 5000 baht into my account each month :jap:

[ludditeman]

You will be popular with me too if you send 5000 baht into my account each month :jap:

PM me a photo of your daughter (if aged between 18 and 34).

Maybe we can work something out.

[w11guy]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

No more selfish than her thinking that a farang partner should support her parents/family!!

WOW. You are so selfish. I feel very sorry for your wife/gf if you have one. What a way to treat her. If I was her you'd be dumped pronto. Many people contribute money every month to complete strangers, via charities such as PLAN International and others. They have no reason to contribute other than they feel some compassion towards those that are not so well off. But unfortunately there are people like you in the world. For your own sake, I hope you are never in need, because I can't imagine there'll be too many people lining up to help you.

[MEGALITHIC]

I'm with you rgs2001uk. If a girl/woman wants to support her parents/family, she can do it, but I wouldn't be getting involved.

Why? Aren't you bothered about the people she loves? Seems very selfish to me.

No more selfish than her thinking that a farang partner should support her parents/family!!

This:

A couple of years ago there was a survey, conducted by the Nation Newspaper, throughout the Isarn region. Aproximately 1100 single ladies, of varying ages, were asked if they would consider marrying a farang. A high percentage - more than eighty percent - answered in the affirmative. The ladies were also asked why they would prefer to marry a farang and almost all of them replied along the lines that it would "improve their lives" or "some of their friends have a farang husband and they've got a nice house and lot's of nice appliances." Now I know that a partial survey like this is only just that, a partial survey, and it may not tell the broader picture. However, even if you extrapolate it to fifty percent of the general populace it's not very encouraging if you're a farang. You've got to give them credit at least for setting their stalls out. However, don't ever think that silly little thing called love is a primary concern, because it's not. Family and money come first and you fit in somewhere down the line. If you believe that it's something other than this then you are deluding yourself.

Now I know there's going to be a number fellows who'll come on here and tell me that I've got it wrong because they've made good choices and they aren't supporting their wives family. To you I say well done, you chose wisely. But the fact is that there's alot that don't choose wisely. And the stories we see on here, and various other Thai blogs, are a testament to that. At the end of the day though who's fault is it that the poor old naive farang gets taken to the cleaners? Well, I apportion blame to both parties; the farang for not doing his due diligence and often being in too much of a hurry to marry a tilac, and the lady for not exactly being up front about her intentions from the start. How many guys do you think would take up with a local lass if she was to come out and say right from the start that she was looking for financial support for herself, her children from marriage to a previous Thai partner, and her family back at the village. I bet you most guys, if they were informed of this right from the beginning, would be out of there fairly quickly. I'd be intersted to know what percentage of farang, in a relationship with a Thai lady, are in a mutually beneficial situation? How many have actually got a partner that helps create income? I would bet it's not many. From what I've seen it's almost always a one way flow; from you to them. The other thing to consider is how many Thai men would support his partners family and/or another mans children? I bet I know what the answer to that is as well. Don't be fooled, providing for your Thai partners family isn't your duty. It maybe something you do as a favour but don't be hoodwinked into thinking that it's something that you are culturally bound to do.

And this:

As a wise friend told me many years ago, when I first arrived in this fair land, stay single for the first two years you are here. Look around, learn and understand how things work. Don't rush into any relationship with a Thai woman and, most importantly, learn the language so that you can communicate and listen to what they're saying about you.

Edited October 15, 2011 by MEGALITHIC

[473geo]

Great post.....makes me real happy I never had to adopt the stance you feel many should......

[MEGALITHIC]

Great post.....makes me real happy I never had to adopt the stance you feel many should......

There are some who choose wisely but many who don't.

[473geo]

Great post.....makes me real happy I never had to adopt the stance you feel many should......

There are some who choose wisely but many who don't.

There are some who do not value money more than people............but many who do

[MEGALITHIC]

Great post.....makes me real happy I never had to adopt the stance you feel many should......

There are some who choose wisely but many who don't.

There are some who do not value money more than people............but many who do

And there are many who will tell you that they value people more than money - you are jai dee, etc - but they don't. Their true inentions never become clear until after the fact.

[473geo]

Great post.....makes me real happy I never had to adopt the stance you feel many should......

There are some who choose wisely but many who don't.

There are some who do not value money more than people............but many who do

And there are many who will tell you that they value people more than money - you are jai dee, etc - but they don't. Their true inentions never become clear until after the fact.

Then why do I see many Thai people that will share, especially with other family members...........and I see many on this thread that are not prepared to? and further more, advise that this is the way to go?

[poanoi]

Because in a corrupt country, your extended family & tribe is your only loyalty, and the only ones who would give a rats arse about you on a rainy day, so when need be, screw everyone else.

Unfortunately greed almost ensure corruption is here to stay, forever.

Edited October 15, 2011 by poanoi

[saxpirant]

Paying cold hard and folding to a partner's family is nothing (and for nothing) more than prostitution by another name, but you're not paying it to the woman herself. If she hadn't taken up with a farang, i.e., no partner, what would the family do? They'd manage. I think a lot of farang are conned into supporting hangers on when there is no legal or moral requirement to do so. The little contact I had with three Thai women indicated to me that they (at least two) put money before any relationship, indeed any relationship depended on the ability to come up with money. One I emailed for a while was a widow and my understanding is that sin sot (is that what it's called) doesn't apply to a second marriage, but she alluded to the fact that her parents needed land and a house!!

When I was married I put no restrictions on what my wife spent, although in retrospect I probably should have, because she was a waster. It wasn't worth brawling over, but it would have been better to not see money wasted. Even after seeing that, it would be the same with another partner, but I would insist on no cash to parents. If I took up with a SE Asian partner, and that's looking increasingly unlikely from what I read here, I would not be supporting family. Several thinking posters are onto it, and how money seems to be almost inextricably connected to a relationship.

poanoi said Because in a corrupt country, your extended family & tribe is your only loyalty, and the only ones who would give a rats arse about you on a rainy day, so when need be, screw everyone else.

I don't believe for a second that you could rely on loyalty in a crisis, unless there was a guarantee that the money would concinue to flow. If the cash dried up, so would the loyalty. In fact, I could see a situation where loyalty may be used as a reason to extract more cash from the hapless farang for continued support!! On my recent visit, one of the women I was with 'negotiated' a tuk tuk fare at 100 baht. I knew it was too much, and that was confirmed the next day when I made the same trip alone for 40 baht. She was either on the take, or appearing to be a big spender in front of her countryman, at my expense.

Many years ago I was taken prisoner in West Timor, back when it was Indonesian controlled, around 1980. The company for which I worked had local employees, but when the heat was on, the chips were down, and their support was expected, they deserted like rats from a sinking ship, and I was left to extricate myself from what appeared, at one stage, as though it may be being murdered. You can't depend on loyalty from these people, and if you believe so, you are delusional. They see farang as not much more than milking cows.

Edited October 16, 2011 by saxpirant

[sbk]

Paying cold hard and folding to a partner's family is nothing (and for nothing) more than prostitution by another name, but you're not paying it to the woman herself. If she hadn't taken up with a farang, i.e., no partner, what would the family do? They'd manage

And you know this because you have lived in a Thai village for how many years? You speak Thai and have lived hand in hand with Thais for so long that you know first hand Thai families do not rely on family members for help?

Edit: never mind, just saw your edit and your last sentence. As you sow, so shall you reap.

[ludditeman]

Now I know there's going to be a number fellows who'll come on here and tell me that I've got it wrong because they've made good choices and they aren't supporting their wives family. To you I say well done, you chose wisely. But the fact is that there's alot that don't choose wisely. And the stories we see on here, and various other Thai blogs, are a testament to that. At the end of the day though who's fault is it that the poor old naive farang gets taken to the cleaners? Well, I apportion blame to both parties; the farang for not doing his due diligence and often being in too much of a hurry to marry a tilac, and the lady for not exactly being up front about her intentions from the start. How many guys do you think would take up with a local lass if she was to come out and say right from the start that she was looking for financial support for herself, her children from marriage to a previous Thai partner, and her family back at the village. I bet you most guys, if they were informed of this right from the beginning, would be out of there fairly quickly. I'd be intersted to know what percentage of farang, in a relationship with a Thai lady, are in a mutually beneficial situation? How many have actually got a partner that helps create income? I would bet it's not many. From what I've seen it's almost always a one way flow; from you to them. The other thing to consider is how many Thai men would support his partners family and/or another mans children? I bet I know what the answer to that is as well. Don't be fooled, providing for your Thai partners family isn't your duty. It maybe something you do as a favour but don't be hoodwinked into thinking that it's something that you are culturally bound to do.

This is a little bit unfair.

The situation was nearly always the same in the west until WW2. The man worked and the woman looked after the house and children. I don't know if this was right or wrong but it was the way things worked and the way things had always worked. Only in modern post-industrial society did the woman 'generate income', I suspect through need rather than personal choice, Thailand has not reached that stage of development yet, and that is why many of us came to live here. To come here because you want a 'traditional woman' and then complain about her traditional values of caring for her family, is just madness. You are trying to change those very things that attracted you to her (and her to you) in the first place. Also you should remember your Thai wife won't be entitled to half your pension and your house on her way out the door.

@Saxpirant

I agree, Thailand is not the right place for you, you would be unhappy here.

Edited October 16, 2011 by ludditeman

[saxpirant]

kerryk said

Average wage women in Thailand vs average wage women in Australia? Now do you get it?

Thai people support the family because Thailand is not a nanny state like Australia. Now do you get it?

I don't want to get into a brawl with you, but your comments are arrogant and offensive. You are implying that you are the only one who knows how this works, and that is quite obviously not the case.

Because the average wage for a Thai woman is less than the average wage for an Australian, that does not make me a milking cow. Take, for example, the case of a Chinese man taking up with a Thai woman. The average income for a Chinese woman is less than that for a Thai woman. Should the Chinese man not contribute for that reason?

Because Thailand is not a nanny state, there is no obligation on me to support a partner's family. There may be on her, and since I would be with someone who either has grown up children or wants no children, then there would be no reason why she shouldnt' work and fulfill that obligation.

ludditeman said I agree, Thailand is not the right place for you, you would be unhappy here.

You agree with me? I didn't say that it wasn't the right place for me or that I would be unhappy there.

Edited October 16, 2011 by saxpirant

[mca]

Before she passed away my dad always paid the utilities bills for my nan ((his mother in law ). Guess that made my mum a hooker.

In all seriousness I feel there are 2 ways of looking at the " pay the Thai family " situ, If your partner is a low wage earner and you contribute by giving her folks a nominal sum per month to pay the bills etc to help out and make things easier and they and your partner are more than happy with the arrangement then that seems fine to me.

If you're buying father in law a new Isuzu 2 door pick up and your partner is in a snot for 5 days because it's not a 4 door and the general family opinion is that you're a tight arse for "only" shelling out 30k baht a month to help them and you tolerate that then you're a fool.