stroll Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Conclusion: Most Thai girls have the minds of 13 year olds trapped in women's bodies. A non BG will eventually act in most respects just like a BG but probably without the nocturnal physical excitement. At least a good BG will know what she does not any longer want to do and may just settle for what she has - and give god value on a long term basis. The longer I am here the more intriguing I find this wonderful land. I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by whores. I think you are still hurting from the splitup from your wife, otherwise you wouldn't put Thai women and yourself down so strongly. Looking at and dealing with your own feelings would be more useful than coming out with this kind of generalisation about Thai women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eyespan Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 180 no 181 posts, isn't it time some mods close this thread? Start a new thread along similiar lines? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Close this thread!!??. Egad, sir, the chap will be suggesting we close schools next!. But, come to think of it, it might do less harm to do the latter first. This thread is an intellectual exploration of the interface between economics and emotions; which is a subject that is totally neglected in Western education systems. And so we have to get some of our major educational needs where we can. Like here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Begs Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 No men.Not women. khatoey? Erco? I've just come home from my bar where i had a good drink with erco believe it or not, its certainly taught me not to take things too seriously. He really is a very nice guy. Dave, has he got Blond Hair, in his late 30's? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mbkudu Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Conclusion: Most Thai girls have the minds of 13 year olds trapped in women's bodies. A non BG will eventually act in most respects just like a BG but probably without the nocturnal physical excitement. At least a good BG will know what she does not any longer want to do and may just settle for what she has - and give god value on a long term basis. The longer I am here the more intriguing I find this wonderful land. I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by whores. I think you are still hurting from the splitup from your wife, otherwise you wouldn't put Thai women and yourself down so strongly. Looking at and dealing with your own feelings would be more useful than coming out with this kind of generalisation about Thai women. This quote is exactly the opposite of what I have felt about Thai women. I have always felt that they physically appear as childlike, but inside are more adultlike. One thing I'm so glad of is that my wife isn't obsessed with stuffed animals. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ratcatcher Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Fascinating reading and great food for thought. Considering the hundreds,if not thousands of farangs that have successfully partnered with a "lady from the hospitality industry", I am always amazed at some of the vitriol that is directed against some of these posters. Sure there are always bad women and bad men everywhere and just because a woman has had some experience in a bar or similiar establishment does not mean she is unworthy of consideration as a partner. There have been a great deal of very thoughtful posts on this thread as usual and I would like to make a few of points. Several people have made the comment that a woman who works in a bar is "used goods" but please explain what difference there is between Liz Taylor, Pamela Anderson, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna and a bar girl. These are all famous,wealthy,actresses who have had several husbands and all have acted like whores at one time or another, the bargirl on the other hand is usually poor by western standards. Does this make them desirable? Very often a BG is good at lovemaking (not such a bad attribute) yet men who have shagged around for years often think they should marry a "virgin". Why? As long as the woman is disease free and there is mutual respect and admiration. The majority of girls who come from poor upcountry towns to work the bars in Bangkok or the seaside holiday resorts like Pattaya or Patong are hoping to find a farang who will look after them in a relationship. The ones that make a career of the bar life are the real clever gold diggers and they successfully carve out a life of massaging ageing farangs egos and other areas while they are here on holiday. These are the ones who usually meet a sucker and clean him out and then look for the next prey. Think of them as sharks,beautiful to look at but still dangerous unless you know what you are doing. Anyone who has spent time here or lives here knows that some bargirl - farang relationships work just fine thank you very much. The girls are fiercely loyal, strong and trustworthy. Some readers categorize a farang that settles down with a bargirl as a loser? Why? Many of these men get their intellectual stimulation from their fellow farangs and good for them. I doubt very much whether even a university educated Thai female has enough English and knowledge to intelligently discuss the political situation in the Kingdom or anywhere else for that matter. I know whereof I speak as I have taught them and they are just as vacuous and naiive as most of the females in the general population. Christ, it's even hard to get an opinion out of a mature Thai female teacher. Take a look at all the bland dolls in Robinson/Central/The Mall cosmetics departments and see if there is anything there that would last more than a month. If I am wrong I'm sorry. I am certain that more readers have married bar girl types than "straight" Thai women. Many Thai families are reluctant to have a farang in the family as they feel it possibly gives the wrong impression to other Thais. No doubt those who have made relationships with middle class girls will complain. Generally if the bargirl has a good grasp of street English, a mobile phone that glows in the dark, has a few gold trinkets and passable email skills then she has usually been on the game for a while and will probably continue as the lifestyle is hard to leave. So guys let's not be too hardon the girls (NPI ) and the men that love 'em. Live and let die. Just my 25 Satangs worth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Conclusion: Most Thai girls have the minds of 13 year olds trapped in women's bodies. A non BG will eventually act in most respects just like a BG but probably without the nocturnal physical excitement. At least a good BG will know what she does not any longer want to do and may just settle for what she has - and give god value on a long term basis. The longer I am here the more intriguing I find this wonderful land. I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by whores. I think you are still hurting from the splitup from your wife, otherwise you wouldn't put Thai women and yourself down so strongly. Looking at and dealing with your own feelings would be more useful than coming out with this kind of generalisation about Thai women. A FIRST. For once ( the very first time ) I agree with you Stroll. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 180 no 181 posts, isn't it time some mods close this thread? Start a new thread along similiar lines? Why to close this thread? For what reason? If nobody is posting anymore, it will move slowly down the index, and locked or open, it will just disappear after a while from the first page of the index, to give way to new threads. 13 pages is not even so much.... Still people are posting here and it seems it is interesting for them.... If you do not like it, then do not read all these postings in this thread, very easy. Why is this thread disturbing you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 A FIRST. For once ( the very first time ) I agree with you Stroll. Hey, hey, have I been such a bad boy up to now? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
h5kaf Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Stroll dear boy. There is a difference between being psychologically disabled as you suggest and telling it like it is. The fact that the good doctor agrees with you does not disturb this difference. I do not miss my wife as you suggest what I miss is the underlying ethical (duty, integrity etc.) implications of any contract be it marriage or other. As I said before I have come to terms with this missing element - and I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by ladies of the night. P.S. I come from a dysfunctional family background. Do you think this has something to do with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 2, 2004 Share Posted July 2, 2004 Stroll dear boy. There is a difference between being psychologically disabled as you suggest and telling it like it is. The fact that the good doctor agrees with you does not disturb this difference. I do not miss my wife as you suggest what I miss is the underlying ethical (duty, integrity etc.) implications of any contract be it marriage or other. As I said before I have come to terms with this missing element - and I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by ladies of the night.P.S. I come from a dysfunctional family background. Do you think this has something to do with it? Hmmmm...... dysfunctional background huh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 I hope I don't offend anybody, but the people I most admire in life are those who manage to make sound, trusting relationships despite not having had a functional family in which to be brought up, and subconciously to adopt as a role model. "The sins of the parents are visited on the children....." seems to hold true, regardless of what religion, or none, is adhered to. To overcome being the next generation of a dysfunctional family seems to me to be the height of all possible achievement. Good luck to all who have to try to scale it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joinme2leave Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 @ratcatcher: yepp, mostly agree with your comments. pls continue.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluecat Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 and I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by ladies of the night.P.S. I come from a dysfunctional family background. Do you think this has something to do with it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stroll Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 - and I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't surrounded by ladies of the night.P.S. I come from a dysfunctional family background. Do you think this has something to do with it? Someone stated in a different thread that alcoholics are a proud lot. Similar kind of thing here. Can't help anybody until they ask. If only they ("dysfunctionals") could spare the rest of us their marbels of wisdom. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yohan Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Many Thai families are reluctant to have a farang in the family as they feel it possibly gives the wrong impression to other Thais. This is a good remark, I would say....and worth a discussion. Not all Thai families are open to foreigners.... Some Thais are very seclusive, and do not wish any personal relationship with a foreigner for their daughter...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cha am man Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 ratcatcher I had a mate in England called ratcatcher, it was his CB handle but stuck throughout the rest of his life. Each to his own, who knows might work. Could win the lottery also, even the Thai one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr_Pat_Pong Posted July 4, 2004 Share Posted July 4, 2004 ratcatcher I had a mate in England called ratcatcher, it was his CB handle but stuck throughout the rest of his life. Each to his own, who knows might work. Could win the lottery also, even the Thai one. I wonder ........... hmmmm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Martin Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 It is time to get this thread back in the limelight for the sake of newbies. All that has been said about 'marrying bar girls' is also applicable to 'marrying internet pick-ups'. In the last two days, I have come across two falang men who have set themselves up for a fall. One local woman, who has a long record of "working the scene" in Bangkok and further afield has decided it is time to collect her 'pension'. He came up here, stayed in the city for a couple of days, came out to her home village and now a 2 million baht house is going up. Poor sod will soon learn he is seen as a sucker by the local folk and divorce. And be 2 million less weighed down by worldly wealth (but maybe a bit wiser and sadder). Another has set up in the city in an 'executives moo-bahn' with his TGF and her child. But she has been overheard making a very compromising phone call to her supposedly-divorced husband. If it is going round the Thai wives grapevine and has come off it into my ears, it is only a matter of time before some farang, who feels the victim should be told, tells him. And back he will go to Blighty, but minus his savings. So, newbies. Don't be dazzled by the success stories you see, or dismayed by the disaster stories you hear. Read this thread through, and make your cool, thoughtful decisions. Forewarned is forearmed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
a2396 Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 My wife is not a bar girl and never was to my knowledge. She is still obsessed with money. It is no doubt the # 1 priority in her life, ie MY money and how to spend it. I think that is the primary motivation for most Thai/woman - Farang/man relationships. Family is the next priority with you (the farang) placing somewhere further down the list. It seems that the expectation that the rich farang will run out and buy/build an expensive house (for which he has no rights to ownership) is part of the "package deal". Also include car and set the lady up in some sort of busines. I am trying to "convert" this mentality into a normal "real world" situation. It is a constant battle to het her to understand that the longevity of our relationship will be enhanced by the my/our financial stability, ie you don't "blow" every last farthing on material possessions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
britmaveric Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Beating a dead horse...won't be long before this ancient thread is closed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamOne Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 My wife is not a bar girl and never was to my knowledge. She is still obsessed with money. It is no doubt the # 1 priority in her life, ie MY money and how to spend it. I think that is the primary motivation for most Thai/woman - Farang/man relationships. Family is the next priority with you (the farang) placing somewhere further down the list. It seems that the expectation that the rich farang will run out and buy/build an expensive house (for which he has no rights to ownership) is part of the "package deal". Also include car and set the lady up in some sort of busines. I am trying to "convert" this mentality into a normal "real world" situation. It is a constant battle to het her to understand that the longevity of our relationship will be enhanced by the my/our financial stability, ie you don't "blow" every last farthing on material possessions. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I am sure you are a nice man, and sorry about your wife....but your extrapolation to every Thai woman is insulting and stupid. For instance, my main motivation is not money, so that must be every Thai woman minus 1 Try to learn a little more about life before you use your small experience to make big assumptions Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thaipwriter Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Wow, so many banned contributors....even Erco had a cameo as Cha Am Man. A2396....i can relate to what you are saying, i think you need to find another lady. take care of your money and it will take care of you. Some of these girls will never understand this statement...i live my life by it!!!! good luck Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taxexile Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 (edited) I am sure you are a nice man, and sorry about your wife....but your extrapolation to every Thai woman is insulting and stupid. For instance, my main motivation is not money, so that must be every Thai woman minus 1 probably minus more than 1 , however the fact that so many thai women have an obsession with money and its acquisition cannot be ignored. as to why this is so i cannot say , but the attitudes to money here are very different to western attitudes and if a man cannot provide sufficiently for the needs of the woman , or the womans family , whether reasonable or not , in many cases the relationship will falter and probably end. my brother in law recieved a letter out of the blue yesterday from a lawyer under instruction from his wife of ten years . (both middle class university educated , in their thirties ,with one child of 7 years) two days ago he completed the purchase of a second house to rent out to provide income for the sons school fees. she wants to re-mortgage both that house and the house that they live in , in order to pay off her fathers gambling debts. he lives with them and makes no contribution to the home. he doesnt work. this would be the third re mortgage. the other two were for the same reason , and have been repaid by my father in law. my brother in law has refused to re mortgage again , so she is suing him for divorce. she has asked for and will probably get custody of the son, 50% of both houses, the car and all the fittings and fixtures in the houses all paid for by my brother in law. since getting married , all her money goes on clothes. reason for divorce ..... lack of respect to her father. a drunken gambler. until last week it seemed a good marriage. and i dont think that is an isolated case. i hear stuff like that a lot , and not from forum boards. finding a thai girl from any background who is not 95% motivated by money is like a search for the holy grail. they are out there , but they take some finding. Edited October 4, 2005 by taxexile Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamOne Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 and i dont think that is an isolated case. i hear stuff like that a lot , and not from forum boards. finding a thai girl from any background who is not 95% motivated by money is like a search for the holy grail. they are out there , but they take some finding. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> your arguments sound like a smoker denying that smoking damages your health by saying his grandmother is 96 and smokes 2 packs a day yes, money is important in a marriage. One of the main reasons cited for arguments in UK marriages was money. But to say that 95% of Thai women are motivated by money is ridiculous. You do hear a lot of it, as those are the people shouting; the quiet ones are not saying that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simon43 Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 My wife-to-be has had 'ownership' of some of my assets for months (a couple of bars worth about 4 million baht total). We are selling up (moving to Samui to build a hotel). What did she do when the first bar was sold? Put the money straight back into my bank account, not hers Simon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamOne Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 My wife-to-be has had 'ownership' of some of my assets for months (a couple of bars worth about 4 million baht total). We are selling up (moving to Samui to build a hotel).What did she do when the first bar was sold? Put the money straight back into my bank account, not hers Simon <{POST_SNAPBACK}> oh there goes a quiet one!! thanks Simon, and your wife is quite normal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jai Dee Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Beating a dead horse...won't be long before this ancient thread is closed. Not wrong Brit... I see the mods are watching closely... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neeranam Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 finding a thai girl from any background who is not 95% motivated by money is like a search for the holy grail. they are out there , but they take some finding. probably minus more than 1 , however the fact that so many thai women have an obsession with money and its acquisition cannot be ignored.as to why this is so i cannot say , but the attitudes to money here are very different to western attitudes and if a man cannot provide sufficiently for the needs of the woman , or the womans family , whether reasonable or not , in many cases the relationship will falter and probably end. Can't agree with you here. In the girls from wealthy families, there is a MUCH lower %age motivated by money. This is not because of their being Thai. It wouyld be the same in my country, Scotland. Think about it, the minimum wage in my country may be around 200 pounds a week(15,000 Baht). The minimum wage in Khon Kaen is about 10 pounds(750 Baht) a week. A woman whose father earns 10 pounds a week meets a farang guy who gets 200 pounds a week at least, or is on a pesion for a similar amount. Thats 20 times what her father gets, of course this will make a HUGE difference when deciding to marry the guy or not. I've met some guys who say that it is love and nothing to do with money - I say <deleted> to that! Imagine a young girl, 'Morag' in Huntly. She laughs at these rich Africans or whatever that love to come to Scotland. They even like the Scottish woman, for their skin colour, or some other ridiculous reason like the weather. Now what if these Africans, or whatever, couldn't own land in Scotland, and they young girl in Lanark had a friend, 'Heather' in Tominoul who married of of these fellows and then diivorced him, leaving her with a cute kid of mixed origin, 'Oobbawonga' and a house worth 10 times what her father's house is worth. Let's say her father's house is worth 100,000 pounds. Then her house is worth 1 million pounds! Now Morag has heard all about Heather's trips around the world, and her boyfriend/husband's earning 10 times what her father, 'Dougal' earned, but is now retired. Dougal got about 300 pounds a week, the foreigner gets 20 times that - a cool 6,000 pounds a week Dougal and his wife, 'Doleen' are over the moon, it's as good as winning the national lottery. There friends, 'Angus' and 'Ina' are happy too and come round to ride in Dougal's new car, bought by the foreigner, that he never imagined he would own. 'Angus' and 'Ina' want one of these foriegners too for their daughter. They suggest to her that she go to the big city and find one. Sorry a bit off topic. Why do farnag marry bargirls? Because the girls are in Bangkok or Pattya for one reason - to get the big catch. Farnag don't usually realise the enormity of this catch, thinking it is because they are so good in the sack, as they are always told, or some other ridiculous reason - " I love terraks poong, sexy jun loi". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SiamOne Posted October 4, 2005 Share Posted October 4, 2005 Beating a dead horse...won't be long before this ancient thread is closed. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Not wrong Brit... I see the mods are watching closely... <{POST_SNAPBACK}> why not beat the horse some more as people are still posting? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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