transam Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 My wife rarely even does it now. In her opinion the 'wai' has become equal to the North American 'have a nice day' == Mostly meaningless. Well, that is being disrespectful to her countrymen/women and is just a show off that ''l am a farang rich lady now'', seen it. Ladies like your mrs who do not wai me, as an old guy, l show up and wai them UNTILL they show respect. NOW, those rich ladies wai me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paangjang Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Wai'ing a Thai. lol. Don't think so. It's only for people you consider to be superior to you. They wai me. I may give a small nod of recognition from time to time. maybe even throw them some loose change? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sirineou Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 As a non Thai you're not really expected to know all the protocol on who Wais to who, who Wais first, and so on. Just use the general rules that you: 1. Wai to those senior to you. 2. To those who you want to show respect to (perhaps your Thai Girlfriends's mother?) 3. And in a shop if they have gone out of their way to help you...to thank them for their effort (as you leave). 4. And when greeting a Buddhist monk. Basically, just do what you think is right and be repectful. But don't worry to much, as a foriegner you're not supposed to know all the rules. Good answer ^^^^ The OP asked a simple question, one that we all wondered about when in Thailand,and it deserves an simple answer, instead, the intellectually Superior crowd chose to chime in with their snide remarks. Wais have little to do with who is superiority, and more to do with respect Well done IMA_FARANG Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moonrakers Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Wai Delilah Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 As a Farang I wai when meeting people who I perceive or want to be perceived (in the context of others perceptions) as my social superiors. I have a good friend who is a judge, I wai when I haven't seen him in a while or when he is with other hi-so's who don't also know me. I don't wai everytime I see him. Return a wai to any equal or friend. Treat it the same as a handshake unless it is in a commercial situation (shop greeter etc) in which case a nod is enough. You forgot to add the most important situation of when to wai.....always wai other Farang when greeting one another. And lest not we forget....that it is mandatory to wai every waitress, parking attendent and security guard who crosses your path, if you dont...you obviously dont understand the Thai culture and you should leave the country immediately... Of course. Textbook standards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 (edited) As a non Thai you're not really expected to know all the protocol on who Wais to who, who Wais first, and so on. Hmmmm.... I believe this really doesn't sing true as it applies to those who have been around for quite a while. After years upon years, a broad circle of [Thai] those who know you - close and distant - understand the score and know you have adapted well. Therefore, their is no excuse to stumble over social graces that should have been in line some time back... All this depends on how you are looked upon anyway. There are a rare handful here that don't find themselves foreign nor look upon themselves as strangers. A note for those who insist upon equating the traditional wai with the ever-stadardised handshake. They're not the same. Not even close. Don't make that mistake. Edited February 4, 2012 by zzaa09 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kropotkin Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 (edited) Since I am very broad minded and very multicultural, I wai every Thai that hugs me, kisses me or shakes hands with me. PS. I have never been to a bar in Thailand, so please no silly comments about kissing bargirls. Edited February 5, 2012 by metisdead Font reset. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Since I am very broad minded and very multicultural, I wai every Thai that hugs me, kisses me or shakes hands with me. PS. I have never been to a bar in Thailand, so please no silly comments about kissing bargirls. Your lucky if you get a snog when you meet a new Thai lady, l'm jealous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kropotkin Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Since I met my now thai wife 4 years ago, I never have had the need or inclination to meet other women. (except of course for filosofical discussions) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geriatrickid Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Rule of thumb, is to never wai. I am farang, and with it goes the dispensation on the need to wai. That does not mean tossing manners and politeness aside. I suggest that one watch some youtube showing public functions where foreign diplomat and senior business execs are exchanging greetings with Thais. The diplomatic style bow is the preferred means of greeting. I have given a proper 45 degree bow to esteemed professors and a minister or two along with the greeting Good Afternoon Professor, the mention of title ensures that the object of the bow's hierarchal position is acknowledged. Bowing only realy works , in my lowly opinion , when the the bower is wearing a smock and green leggings and delivers the "Good Afternoon M'lord " with a lisp and hand flutter . Works for the Japanese. 45 degrees for important people or respected friends/family etc. 30 degrees as the prefunctory social greeting. All done with hands at the side. I don't see the Japanese people in Thailand wai anyone. Ok, some will say, yea, but they are Japanese, Thais know it's the Japanese culture, it's going to look silly when the fat white guy bows. I think it gets back to the point of politeness. As long as the other person knows that you have made an effort to be polite, they aren't going to be insulted or upset. Some Thais are indeed touchy, which is why the verbal deference indications are helpful. Ever notice that the German bigwigs in a meeting expect to be addressed as Herr Doktor, but Australians, Dutch Americans are ok with their first name being used? Not using a formal address with the Herr Doktor can lead to a snit, while using a formal address to an Australian in a meeting, e.g. Mr. Cairns, can be considered insulting. I suppose everyone's situation is different. My Thai friends are quite insistent that I not initiate a wai to people, especially younger lower status people. I sometimes wonder why many of my Thai friends do not wai me, but will wai each other. Is it an indication of a lack of respect or maybe they just instinctively know that there is no point giving me a wai because I am just a farang? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kropotkin Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Being popular was never my aim. Being taken seriously on the basis of appearancies and formalities was never my aim. I am not going to change my behaviour just because I am in Thailand. Yes I will loose many fake friends. Nothing new. I take people as they are - tough luck for them if they can not do the same towards me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ijustwannateach Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 As someone who's worked for Thais for nearly a decade, I would be pretty foolish not to figure some things out about wai'ing, same as figuring out some things about bowing in Japan. My Thai line superiors and seniors at work get wai's from me first time I see them on a given day. I get wai's or nods from some of the more junior Thai staff (so far most of the Thai staff are older than me). Parents or other older relatives of students get my wai, so do important government representatives or other such types visiting. It is simply good manners to wai when addressing a large mixed group of people. Very Old People that I may chance to have some social contact with (elderly relatives of people I'm involved with, or who are hanging out around their children's businesses) get an automatic wai out of respect for their age. I don't participate much in the 'wai'ing among friends' thing, even if I'm around a group of Thais who do. I'll nod and smile if someone from that kind of situation wai's me, especially to put them at ease if they're a stranger, but I don't want it to be a habit and that's one occasion on which I'll do the 'I'm just a silly foreigner and that's why I don't know what to do' thing. Then there are wais for those that normally wouldn't require them as an apology or as a thank you. I figure I hit the right note often enough not to offend others or embarrass myself too much, and that's probably about as far as I need to go with it as a foreigner. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stoneyboy Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Wai don't they shake my hand ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Aussies get offended when addressed by their last name? I know they mostly use first name but wouldn't think they go as far as getting offended if someone use their last name instead? Anyhow sorry side tracked The wai - tywais has it pretty much spot on And sure you can get away not doing it for being a foreigner But the expression when in Rome comes to mind No one will raise objection that you didnt wai but if you did it would earn you a lot of goodwill So why not do it if it doesnt cause you any trouble? The gesture of the wai can also be a good ice breaker 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MRTELLYOUSTRAIGHT Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 1. Those who don't wai at anything 2. Those that only wai a certain category of people 3. The backpacker wai - wais everything, even the local soi dog. 4. The culturally aware, which appears to be a small minority. lol at number 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patron Posted February 4, 2012 Share Posted February 4, 2012 Only my MIL gets a Wai, her smile is priceless afterwards. Everybody else gets a big smile and nod. After many years, the men in my wife's family come to me with a handshake. Don't worry about this too much, my wife's uncle who I have given money to in the past kisses my feet when I see him. I hate that, but I will not make him lose face buy telling my wife to make him stop. He is a very good man. Always Wai Mom & Dad. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 My wife rarely even does it now. In her opinion the 'wai' has become equal to the North American 'have a nice day' == Mostly meaningless. Well, that is being disrespectful to her countrymen/women and is just a show off that ''l am a farang rich lady now'', seen it. Ladies like your mrs who do not wai me, as an old guy, l show up and wai them UNTILL they show respect. NOW, those rich ladies wai me. Though, it's still a very rare instance that a Thai girl attached to a Farang guy to completely dismiss her bred social upbringing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metisdead Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 A profanity post has been removed and a post that was rather incoherent has also been removed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red1green0 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zzaa09 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. Per chance, what if they're not beneath [lower than] thou? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. What a load of tosh. It's obviously that's ''you'' think and see from your actions but it's entirely ''what'' your thinking, and they actually think your a moron behind their smile. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elwood Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. What a load of tosh. It's obviously that's ''you'' think and see from your actions but it's entirely ''what'' your thinking, and they actually think your a moron behind their smile. Methinks this bloke is just a wind up merchant - surely no one can really be this arrogant/stupid? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kropotkin Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 I despise the people who think that they are above me. I pity the people who think they are below me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. What a load of tosh. It's obviously that's ''you'' think and see from your actions but it's entirely ''what'' your thinking, and they actually think your a moron behind their smile. Methinks this bloke is just a wind up merchant - surely no one can really be this arrogant/stupid? They get off the plane in LOS every day, then mount their high horse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post cdnvic Posted February 5, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted February 5, 2012 Oh no...... Oh no here we go again.....OP....please use the search function...there must be thousands of threads on this subject on TV... when this question, along with questions on Sin Sot come up....every Thai wannabee jumps on the bandwagon trying to show how at one with their Thainess they are.... It`s a forum, not a search engine. Nobody forced you to take part in the topic. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kropotkin Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) Wai Delilah Tom Jones? PS. do not be too subtle, remember where you are - it's a TV forum, not a joking place. Nobody forced you to be funny. Edited February 5, 2012 by kropotkin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
F1fanatic Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. What a load of tosh. It's obviously that's ''you'' think and see from your actions but it's entirely ''what'' your thinking, and they actually think your a moron behind their smile. With all due respect (due to the number of your posts I assume you've been here a lot longer than me) - my experience is that red1 is generally right. Most of those to whom I've been (too) generous have 'buggered off' soon after! As for 'wai'ing' - you'd have to live here for god knows how many years to understand the intricacies - far easier just to give a respectful bow to those that wai you. Unless of course its an old person - they will assume you are ignorant and dis-respectful if you do not wai. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rijb Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 Wai don't they shake my hand ? Many Thais, including kids, like to shake hands. I think it's a novelty for them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
transam Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 (edited) The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. What a load of tosh. It's obviously that's ''you'' think and see from your actions but it's entirely ''what'' your thinking, and they actually think your a moron behind their smile. With all due respect (due to the number of your posts I assume you've been here a lot longer than me) - my experience is that red1 is generally right. Most of those to whom I've been (too) generous have 'buggered off' soon after! As for 'wai'ing' - you'd have to live here for god knows how many years to understand the intricacies - far easier just to give a respectful bow to those that wai you. Unless of course its an old person - they will assume you are ignorant and dis-respectful if you do not wai. But ''l'' do understand the intricacies in LOS, easy really, same as l know what to do in farang land with a serviette (napkin) or a full dinning table cutlery service or the difference between a male or female hand shake, it's the same in farang land as here, folk who want to understand stuff take time to learn it. It was called being a Gentleman/Lady where l come from and am happy to say l can sit, talk or greet any one, be it Royalty, work personnel, dustman or your mum, Edited February 5, 2012 by transam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red1green0 Posted February 5, 2012 Share Posted February 5, 2012 The more you treat them with disdain and contempt the more they respect you. Show someone beneath you some courtesy and respect and they'll think you a fool. Per chance, what if they're not beneath [lower than] thou? Impossible. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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