Is Getting Your Partner Out Of Thailand The Key To A Successful Relationship

[4evermaat]

Although I have no facts to back this up, I think it is probably true to say that a majority of Farang/Thai relationships end up in failure, whether they live in Thailand or in the west.<br /><br />Certainly my own experience, having had no less than five legal Thai wives through the years, some of them living abroad with me and others in Thailand, bears this out; but of course, I may well be the exception.<br /><br />But my personal experiences apart, through the years, I have known of so many Thai/farang marriages that have floundered - sometimes in Thailand, and sometimes back in the farang's home country. I also have known of many more where, although the couple are still together, it is clear they are in a dreadfully unhappy, loveless marriages and it is only the 'kids' or mutual financial security that keeps them together.<br /><br />I also know of some marriages, both in Thailand and also back in England, where, as far as I am aware, they are genuinely happy, but I have to say they are few and far between.<br /><br />There really are no hard and fast rules. One of my wives - the one I took to England, loves England and will never come back to Thailand, except for holidays. Others hate it there and just put up with it until they have saved enough to go back home, or just suffer in silence for the sake of the families back home who they are supporting.<br /><br />I have a friend who was convinced that if you found a Thai girl young enough - before she knew anything of life or its bad ways - and take her out of Thailand, send her to school, teach her English and western ways and culture and let her grow up in a foreign environment, that she will leave all those so-called bad 'Thai habits' behind.<br /><br />So he did just that with a seventeen year old, sort of Pygmalian-like, after first marrying her. Six years later he was the most unhappy man on the planet. She had been screwing around almost ever since she went to The UK, at the age of 17, and was generally acting in a most un-wifely manner. Of course there was a large age difference, which no doubt had much to do with her infidelities.<br /><br />I used to know another similar marriage where an ageing, very rich, British scientist, took a young girl from Ubon to Cambridge where she produced a large, second family for him. If you met them, you would say they were an idyllic couple. Yet the girl became quite friendly with my then Thai wife and she confided with her that she was bitterly unhappy, hated her husband and was unfaithful whenever she could get away with it.<br /><br />I could go on and on.<br /><br />It would be an interesting exercise to do a survey to try and establish whether the incidence of breakups in Thai/ farang marriages was any higher than the breakup of marriages in general. I suspect it is, which is even more interesting given that for most of the men â€" and many of the women â€" it is their second or third marriage, so they should be getting better at it.<br /><br />I honestly think you have to understand the woman, her tastes, her likes, her dislikes, her level of education and much more besides, before you are able to assess whether she will be happy in the west.<br /><br />Certainly, most will not be happy, but some of them learn to find their way, especially if they have access to a Thai community where they can spend time with Thai friends.<br /><br />Frequent trips back home are also a good way of keeping wives happy. Isolating them in a foreign country is not a good idea as generally they love to be with other Thais.<br /><br />However, there are exceptions to this. I once knew a Thai couple who lived in England and absolutely loved it there because they could enjoy so much privacy that was not possible for them in Thailand.<br /><br />My own Thai wife did not wish to mix with other Thais very much when we lived in England. She embraced the west and their culture which is why she is still there today.<br /><br />When I first knew her, I always remember playing her the ‘theme’ album of Andrew Lloyd Webber’s ‘Jesus Christ Superstar’, which had just been released. She asked me to explain it to her and she fell in love with the music, and later with British musical theatre â€" along with many other western things. We were still living in Thailand at the time. Now how many Thai women would react like that?<br /><br />There are no hard and fast rules on this and certainly the chances of having a long successful marriage with a Thai woman are quite slim, wherever you decide to live. The language and cultural barriers, along with most Thai women’s natural instincts to control their spouses â€" along with a not uncommon ‘amoral attitude’ towards men and sex, make the odds against happiness even higher.<br /><br />But good luck to all those who try â€" be it in LOS or somewhere else in the world â€" you never know, you might be the exception that proves the rule.

Why is it that we are not honest about what we really want or what our partners really want. I think we just see and hear what we want to from our partners. Even if you find out that your partner lied (big surprise there), why not just make a new choice? We try so hard to change our partners....it rarely ever works.

We can barely guarantee what is going to happen 10 min from now. Yet we look into our partners eyes and guarantee that we will love them forever and ever? We make promises we cannot keep, and set ourselves up to fail.

"2nd best time to plant a tree is today." Sent from ThaiVisa app.

Edited February 13, 2012 by 4evermaat

[patroller]

For it is abundantly transparent that those who have no choice but to go to another country to find a mate/partner/wife then take the lady back to

their own country will strongly defend their actions due to of lack of self esteem, worth and paranoia.

One poster mentions "it's best to live away from Cities and Towns" and then goes on to say "Boredom can also set in for her" well yes living like the Dingels on Emmerdale Farm will be like watching paint dry and a bitter disappointment beyond words for a young good looking lady and will grow to resent you if the age gap is that great and will be planning her "Great Escape" once the new passport is issued. There's only so many times one can pop down the local village post office as the highlight of the week before regret really starts to kick in.

Taking a Thai lady out of Thailand is like taking a fish out of water, feeling suffocated by the new environment it's not going to last long and is doomed from the moment the captain says "We're just approaching Nowheresville, the temperature outside is 2 degrees Celsius and thank you for flying with Anothersucka Airways."

[ludditeman]

Why is it that we are not honest about what we really want or what our partners really want. I think we just see and hear what we want to from our partners. Even if you find out that your partner lied (big surprise there), why not just make a new choice? We try so hard to change our partners....it rarely ever works.

What I want is a great regular shag, a couple of babies, and a bit of house-keeping (that's not really vital) as a bonus.

(pretty much what all men have wanted throughout the history of mankind)

Most 'modern' SNAGs are after exactly the same, but dress it up with a load of old &lt;deleted&gt; about seeking 'soul-mates' and 'life-partners' due to being completely pussy whipped.

What my partner wants? who knows and who cares!

Edited February 13, 2012 by ludditeman

[Briggsy]

Many Thai women have not the slightest desire to live abroad.

[IMA_FARANG]

Just my personal opinion but:

No, the results depend on the person and their personality...there is no "magic bullet" answer good for everyone.

I've known asians (Thai and Vietnamese) who went with their husbands to his foriegn country and did well there.

They believed that getting out of their home country was what started those happy times.

But I've also met asians who just couldn't tolerate the new culture and expeiences in their husband's home country.

After a few years (or less) they just wanted to get out of that country.

All of these, by the way, were women from marriages to husband's in "farang" countries where their matierial advantages...a good house, more money, better education for their children, etc....were obvious and acknowledged by the women.

But after a period of time they just felt trapped in that country and wanted to get out and go "home"....no matter what happened afterward.

Turn the question around...and look at the results here in Thailand.

A farang comes here to Thailand for the first time. Everything is new and different...it's exciting. He (or she I suppose) loves the place and the new culture. Thailand is great!

Now fast forward two years. All the glamour and the shiny new excitement have been worn off of Thailand's once-smiling face.

Either that newbie has adapted and has a new life here in Thailand...or he writes letters to ThaiVisa complaining about the "stupid" Thais and how "they" are to bacward to ever amount to anything.

He longs to go "home" where "everything" is done the right way.

My conclusion from those examples are that whether taking a Thai outside of Thailand will help or harm a relationship is that it depends on the personalities of the couple involved. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

You just can't tell ahead of time.

Just an addendum to post.

Researh has shown that in the MAJORITY of male-female relationships that lead to marriage 3 years is about the time the doubt about the marriage kicks in for at least one partner to that marriage. This is a normal thing for human relationships...I presume it also applies to same sex relationships although I don't know if there is any solid data on that.

But I do know that psychologists do have the data on this and recognise it as a normal response in human relationships. It's called the "boredom effect"...and often it is the real but not explicidly stated cause of divorces.

Edited February 13, 2012 by IMA_FARANG

[Mobi]

As to responses from folks like Ulysses. G .....Well, anyone with 27,000+ posts obviously has no life whatsoever and therefore has no experience of how life is and is in my opinion in no position at all to comment on others. Simple as that..

Here we go again.

Surely everyone has a right to make a contribution to this debate without being slagged off?

You state that UG is in no position to comment on others... yet that is exactly what you are doing - commenting on others.

What gives you that right? What on earth do you know about UG or anyone else who contributes to this debate? You judge a man purely because he has made 27,000 posts on an internet forum.

Even five times married alcoholics and posters with 27,000+ posts to their name have a right to an opinion?

Disagree with them - by all means - but slag them off! why? Does it make you feel good?

[thaimate]

to the darkside blogger

My friend without trying to appear rude if you have had five Thai wifes who have left you ,i think you should be looking at what is wrong with you ,not what is wrong with Thai women

The title of this thread is:

"Is Getting Your Partner Out Of Thailand The Key To A Successful Relationship:What's Your Experience?"

So I responded to the OP in good faith, having had much experience in this matter, both personal, and from observing others over a period of more than 40 years, and felt that I had something useful to contribute.

I revealed my own experiences by way of illustration - not so that someone should turn the discussion into a snide insinuation on my state of mind.

'what is wrong with me' is NOT the subject under discussion.

What do you hope to gain from your remark? What does it add to the discussion?

It doesn't take a genius to realise that if someone has been married for 5 times then there is something wrong somewhere - but although I may be an extreme example, I can assure you that there are countless farangs who have had multiple marriages with Thai women.

I see you are observant enough to refer to me as the 'darkside blogger,' so why don't you go one step further and read my blog, as then you would then find all the answers you are looking for and apart from many other things you would learn that it wasn't 'five Thai wives who left me' - pray where did I say that?

Maybe it is simply that something I said that hit a bad note in your own life?

What could you have said that hit a bad note in my life? i was merely making an observation that your having 5 THAI wives( i do not know if you have had any of another sort. ) it would seem that you either married ladies that were not suited to married life or that there was something about you that was wrong , i assumed ,perhaps wrongly that you were denigrating Thai women and pointing out that they did not make good marriage material.

In fact i have found that they are much the same as women of any nationality some are good some are bad ,

usually the men on here that are going on about "bad" Thai women are the sort who come to Pattaya for a holiday never meet any woman that does not work in a bar as a hooker and then believe that they are GODS gift ,take her back home and find that she is the same as many hookers the world over ,only after money ..

not that for a moment did i think your wives were like this ,but i did think that maybe you were choosing the wrong ladies to marry ,we have all done it in the past .

[flying]

Well I dont know who is qualified to comment but I would guess it is those with partners....

If they have lived out of Thailand all the better

That describes my wife & I...She is Thai & we have lived in the US for 5 years.

I cannot really say if it is key to success as we never lived full time in Thailand while married.

Just a few months there on vacation. So who knows but I will say we are doing fine.

Yes she misses some Thai things as do I.

I asked her the OP's question about leaving Thailand helping or hindering our relationship.

Her reply is typically Thai/ Buddhist

She feels it matters not where we live as karma is karma. She feels we were meant to meet & would be

a successful relationship here or there.

[Mobi]

to the darkside blogger

My friend without trying to appear rude if you have had five Thai wifes who have left you ,i think you should be looking at what is wrong with you ,not what is wrong with Thai women

The title of this thread is:

"Is Getting Your Partner Out Of Thailand The Key To A Successful Relationship:What's Your Experience?"

So I responded to the OP in good faith, having had much experience in this matter, both personal, and from observing others over a period of more than 40 years, and felt that I had something useful to contribute.

I revealed my own experiences by way of illustration - not so that someone should turn the discussion into a snide insinuation on my state of mind.

'what is wrong with me' is NOT the subject under discussion.

What do you hope to gain from your remark? What does it add to the discussion?

It doesn't take a genius to realise that if someone has been married for 5 times then there is something wrong somewhere - but although I may be an extreme example, I can assure you that there are countless farangs who have had multiple marriages with Thai women.

I see you are observant enough to refer to me as the 'darkside blogger,' so why don't you go one step further and read my blog, as then you would then find all the answers you are looking for and apart from many other things you would learn that it wasn't 'five Thai wives who left me' - pray where did I say that?

Maybe it is simply that something I said that hit a bad note in your own life?

What could you have said that hit a bad note in my life? i was merely making an observation that your having 5 THAI wives( i do not know if you have had any of another sort. ) it would seem that you either married ladies that were not suited to married life or that there was something about you that was wrong , i assumed ,perhaps wrongly that you were denigrating Thai women and pointing out that they did not make good marriage material.

In fact i have found that they are much the same as women of any nationality some are good some are bad ,

usually the men on here that are going on about "bad" Thai women are the sort who come to Pattaya for a holiday never meet any woman that does not work in a bar as a hooker and then believe that they are GODS gift ,take her back home and find that she is the same as many hookers the world over ,only after money ..

not that for a moment did i think your wives were like this ,but i did think that maybe you were choosing the wrong ladies to marry ,we have all done it in the past .

If I thought Thai women were 'bad marriage material' I would hardly have tried 5 times - one of whom I was married to for over 20 years, and I am presently very happily cohabiting with yet another Thai lady.

The point I was trying to make is that marriages between farangs and Thai ladies have a very low, long term success rate - not because Thai women are bad, but due to many factors, like language and cultural barriers - and of course large age differences for so many.

You are quite correct - my multiple marriage follies are more down to my poor choice of partners than anything else. But having made those choices and lived my life with Thai women for the best part of 35 years - living both in Thailand and the UK, and having observed countless similar marriages through the years , again in both countries, then maybe I have a few tid bids of experience to contribute to this debate.

Anyway - peace, my friend

[ludditeman]

If I thought Thai women were 'bad marriage material' I would hardly have tried 5 times - one of whom I was married to for over 20 years, and I am presently very happily cohabiting with yet another Thai lady.

I think what is important is, did you enjoy the relationships, not how long did they last.

Edited February 13, 2012 by ludditeman

[Mobi]

If I thought Thai women were 'bad marriage material' I would hardly have tried 5 times - one of whom I was married to for over 20 years, and I am presently very happily cohabiting with yet another Thai lady.

I think what is important is, did you enjoy the relationships, not how long did they last.

Like all marriages , there were good times and there were bad times, happy times and very sad times.

Looking back, I can say that one tends to moderate one's views as to who was to blame for the bad times and realise that few people are wholly bad or wholly good.

I agree the length of a marriage is not particularly relevant, but one of mine only lasted 24 hours! That tells you something...

If you have a few hours to spare you can always read my blog, where my entire life is laid bare, in all it's glory - if you have the stomach for it

[Kwasaki]

That's a very wide open question and clearly a personal one.

For me personally and IMO, I would say it was good for my initial relationship, to cut a long story short my wife seeing how it was in UK helped her see that it was NOT all roses in the west.

Every situation is different, relationships can be successful or failures in any given set of circumstances.

Do you do anything in particular to prepare your wife for life in the West or did you just jump on a plane and hope for the best?

Apologies for my typo on previous post.

As I said it is a long story and ages, position of life have a great deal to do with it, the decision taken for my now Thai wife, to come to the UK was so we could live together longer than just my 4 yearly trips for 3 or 4 weeks at a time.

I wouldn't say prepare, the relationship was still at a development stage, I could see how she lived so I wanted her to see how I really lived and she fell into the housewife part very easily, made my life easier and it brought us to where we decided on commitment.

If your title post is you looking for an answer it will only be resolved by your experience.

My take is it has nothing to do with any " key to success " and it was not a case of getting her out of Thailand it was appointed solely on the basis of our individual situations.

Many interesting replies, good post.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Kwasaki

[Kwasaki]

I have been married to a Thai since 2003,who I met and married in th U.S, she had been in the U.S. for 5 years, came with her than Thai husband who was working in the U.S. as a flight engineer, his problem with alcohal caused their marriage to end in divorce.When I met her she had been in the U.S. 5 years, mostly on overstay, after dating for a year we married and she received permanent residency, in 2006 I retired and we moved to Thailand to be close to her aging father. We have since traveled back and forth between living in Thailand and the U.S. about six months each, we have a home in both countries, we have an equal amount of Thai and American friends in the U.S. she has always pulled her weight finacially working and contributing to our finances, I have never given or have I been asked for money for her family, we have on accasion loaned money always to be repayed. We are now bothretired and finacialy set we travel, both in Asia and the U.S. and love it, our biggest problem has always been comunication, although she is fluent in english because of the cultural differences we sometimes have a hard time really understanding one another. What I have learned from our experiences togther patience and understanding helps a lot.I read many threads on these expat forums which would lead the inexperienced to beleive all Thai people are money hungry users, it is not so, I have never felt used or looked down on as a farang in Thailand, my wifes family and friends have more than welcomed me into there communities, but then again I was smart enough not to marry a bar girl.

Good luck with what ever you do, but remember a successful marriage to a Thai takes work,commitment,and understanding as does any marriage.

You must remember that you are lucky and met your lady outside LOS and she knows how stuff works.

I think it's a bit of a contradictory post though and does not have much bearing on the OP question, did he ever meet a bar girl then by the way.

Edited February 13, 2012 by Kwasaki

[thaiIand]

let's just end this thread.

EVeryone who thinks its the doom of a relationship once you get out of thailand, post a picture of yourself.

There is NO way you do not look like the guy in my avatar. Meaning that your opinion on the matter is kind of pointless because even if you brought your thaiwife to an other part of thailand where young farang males are available, they would leave you. Most countries have a lot to offer for thais and in canada thai products are usualy CHEAPER than in thailand for the most part if you look around and find a good asian store. If your thai is only used to thai food, thai friends and thai soaps, then WHY are you with her outside of sex? Just buy a fleshlight or a real doll.

Edited February 13, 2012 by thaiIand

[Ijustwannateach]

^Actually, no. I don't look like the guy in your avatar, and I don't think that taking a Thai relationship out of Thailand automatically dooms it- just that if you are living in reality, it will hasten the doom that is already upon you.

Since my life is here in Thailand, I would automatically move away from relationships that involved a big push towards emigrating. I'd like to settle with a Thai who wants to stay here in Thailand- where I'm probably going to be.

[theblether]

let's just end this thread.

EVeryone who thinks its the doom of a relationship once you get out of thailand, post a picture of yourself.

There is NO way you do not look like the guy in my avatar. Meaning that your opinion on the matter is kind of pointless because even if you brought your thaiwife to an other part of thailand where young farang males are available, they would leave you. Most countries have a lot to offer for thais and in canada thai products are usualy CHEAPER than in thailand for the most part if you look around and find a good asian store. If your thai is only used to thai food, thai friends and thai soaps, then WHY are you with her outside of sex? Just buy a fleshlight or a real doll.

A bit harsh sir, and more than a little bit assumptive.

If your point is that there are some guys ( many guys ) in Thailand who are batting out of their league then there is no shock there.

The shock you may get is that a lot of Thai ladies cannot stand dating younger farang men............yes they may look a lot more pleasing to the eye but they bring problems with them too.

So I would suggest the thread should not be ended as you request on the basis of appearance alone, I think you'll find personality types are more important.

[thaiIand]

but you are gay, most gay relationships are doomed from the start. Divorce/breakup rates with gay couples are 60 to 150% higher than straight couples.

Edited February 13, 2012 by thaiIand

[thaiIand]

let's just end this thread.

EVeryone who thinks its the doom of a relationship once you get out of thailand, post a picture of yourself.

There is NO way you do not look like the guy in my avatar. Meaning that your opinion on the matter is kind of pointless because even if you brought your thaiwife to an other part of thailand where young farang males are available, they would leave you. Most countries have a lot to offer for thais and in canada thai products are usualy CHEAPER than in thailand for the most part if you look around and find a good asian store. If your thai is only used to thai food, thai friends and thai soaps, then WHY are you with her outside of sex? Just buy a fleshlight or a real doll.

A bit harsh sir, and more than a little bit assumptive.

If your point is that there are some guys ( many guys ) in Thailand who are batting out of their league then there is no shock there.

The shock you may get is that a lot of Thai ladies cannot stand dating younger farang men............yes they may look a lot more pleasing to the eye but they bring problems with them too.

So I would suggest the thread should not be ended as you request on the basis of appearance alone, I think you'll find personality types are more important.

Didnt say anything about age. Ony looks/personality.

Most if not all people saying women are gold digging whores on this forum are all fat, poorly dressed and have crappy personalities with no life interest outside of hitting the pub to watch men chase a ball around like dogs. Their only way to get a lasting relationship where they dont get fleeced anywhere in the world is to either live in a 20 person village or get a mentally challenged woman.

their opinions are worthless on relationship matters as they have no relationship. They are just providers

Edited February 13, 2012 by thaiIand

[StreetCowboy]

let's just end this thread.

EVeryone who thinks its the doom of a relationship once you get out of thailand, post a picture of yourself.

There is NO way you do not look like the guy in my avatar. Meaning that your opinion on the matter is kind of pointless because even if you brought your thaiwife to an other part of thailand where young farang males are available, they would leave you. Most countries have a lot to offer for thais and in canada thai products are usualy CHEAPER than in thailand for the most part if you look around and find a good asian store. If your thai is only used to thai food, thai friends and thai soaps, then WHY are you with her outside of sex? Just buy a fleshlight or a real doll.

A bit harsh sir, and more than a little bit assumptive.

If your point is that there are some guys ( many guys ) in Thailand who are batting out of their league then there is no shock there.

The shock you may get is that a lot of Thai ladies cannot stand dating younger farang men............yes they may look a lot more pleasing to the eye but they bring problems with them too.

So I would suggest the thread should not be ended as you request on the basis of appearance alone, I think you'll find personality types are more important.

Didnt say anything about age. Ony looks/personality.

Most if not all people saying women are gold digging whores on this forum are all fat, poorly dressed and have crappy personalities with no life interest outside of hitting the pub to watch men chase a ball around like dogs. Their only way to get a lasting relationship where they dont get fleeced anywhere in the world is to either live in a 20 person village or get a mentally challenged woman.

their opinions are worthless on relationship matters as they have no relationship. They are just providers

Oh, you charmer!

Actually, the bloke in your avatar has a great personality. He's the life and soul of the party, and a witty raconteur, whose body has been wracked by years as a bon vivant.

[theblether]

That's a very wide open question and clearly a personal one.

For me personally and IMO, I would say it was good for my initial relationship, to cut a long story short my wife seeing how it was in UK helped her see that it was NOT all roses in the west.

Every situation is different, relationships can be successful or failures in any given set of circumstances.

Do you do anything in particular to prepare your wife for life in the West or did you just jump on a plane and hope for the best?

Apologies for my typo on previous post.

As I said it is a long story and ages, position of life have a great deal to do with it, the decision taken for my now Thai wife, to come to the UK was so we could live together longer than just my 4 yearly trips for 3 or 4 weeks at a time.

I wouldn't say prepare, the relationship was still at a development stage, I could see how she lived so I wanted her to see how I really lived and she fell into the housewife part very easily, made my life easier and it brought us to where we decided on commitment.

If your title post is you looking for an answer it will only be resolved by your experience.

My take is it has nothing to do with any " key to success " and it was not a case of getting her out of Thailand it was appointed solely on the basis of our individual situations.

Many interesting replies, good post.

I was contemplating taking my lady to the UK for a three month stint, then I decided that she was an annoyance so I dumped her.....oh well that's life.

However!! It doesn't get away from the fact that my OP was based upon listening to certain friends saying that getting your lady back to your home country was the key to success.....saying it with such certainty that I believe they are persuading themselves it is the answer to all their problems. Hence I asked the question.........

Your concept of a few decent length holidays back in the UK seems to be a wise one.....it must be a real shock for some of these ladies to be ripped from their family oriented backgrounds, and flown into London / Berlin / Vancouver whatever......a real shock to the system.

It may then follow that the relationship falters not due to a lack of love so to speak, but due to the cultural shock and lack of preparation.

As for the relationships that do falter, in just about every case I know about the Thai partner returned home......that would tend to verify that cultural shock was at the root of the problem.

[theblether]

let's just end this thread.

EVeryone who thinks its the doom of a relationship once you get out of thailand, post a picture of yourself.

There is NO way you do not look like the guy in my avatar. Meaning that your opinion on the matter is kind of pointless because even if you brought your thaiwife to an other part of thailand where young farang males are available, they would leave you. Most countries have a lot to offer for thais and in canada thai products are usualy CHEAPER than in thailand for the most part if you look around and find a good asian store. If your thai is only used to thai food, thai friends and thai soaps, then WHY are you with her outside of sex? Just buy a fleshlight or a real doll.

A bit harsh sir, and more than a little bit assumptive.

If your point is that there are some guys ( many guys ) in Thailand who are batting out of their league then there is no shock there.

The shock you may get is that a lot of Thai ladies cannot stand dating younger farang men............yes they may look a lot more pleasing to the eye but they bring problems with them too.

So I would suggest the thread should not be ended as you request on the basis of appearance alone, I think you'll find personality types are more important.

Didnt say anything about age. Ony looks/personality.

Most if not all people saying women are gold digging whores on this forum are all fat, poorly dressed and have crappy personalities with no life interest outside of hitting the pub to watch men chase a ball around like dogs. Their only way to get a lasting relationship where they dont get fleeced anywhere in the world is to either live in a 20 person village or get a mentally challenged woman.

their opinions are worthless on relationship matters as they have no relationship. They are just providers

Yup....I agree that personality is a major factor.....more than weight, much more than weight.

or get a mentally challenged woman.

Harsh but true

If Carlsberg did cynicism it still wouldn't beat your average Thaivisa member

[thaibeachlovers]

I don't think it's fair to take a thai girl out of Thailand. As someone said they love their country, their food and music. They love to chat with their friends and of course their number one priority FAMILY. It must be hell for them to go to another country, have no friends, can not speak the language well, no TV, and maybe a cold climate (like Scotland). I think it's just asking for trouble to take them abroad.

Ditto

[David48]

but you are gay ...

Hold on there 'Thailand' ... you are way out of line with that comment.

That particular post was from a Global Moderator ... please show some respect, temper your agression.

We are supposed to be replying to OP question of "Is Getting Your Partner Out Of Thailand The Key To A Successful Relationship" ... lets not wonder too far from that path please.

[Mobi]

In The UK, one in three marriages between 1995 and 2010 ended in divorce; there is a similar rate in Australia and in the USA it is estimated that 40% of all marriages end in divorce and 49% of all marriages involve a re-marriage for one or both spouses.

So we can see that even marriages between partners with closer cultural, language and backgrounds and with probably lesser age gaps, that the chances of having a successful marriage are not great.

Add these other factors and it is hardly surprising that so many Thai/farang marriages fail.

The OP mentioned that most Thais would return to Thailand after their marriage broke up. That doesn’t necessarily mean that the reason the marriage failed was due to their desire to go back home, although I concede this could well be the case for many.

Even if the Thai wife had adapted quite well to life in her husband’s country and was reasonably content to live there indefinitely, once the marriage had failed, it is only natural that she would wish to return to her own country to be amongst her own family and friends. Although, there again, I know of a number of Thai women, including one my ex’s, who have opted to stay in their adoptive country, post-divorce.

We can only look at general trends and try to extrapolate what your own wife may or may not do or feel in similar situation, but there are so many exceptions that it might be a fairly pointless exercise. Every lady is different, and as I said in a previous post, you really have to be brutally honest about your relationship and the type of lady you have married.

I would venture to suggest that if the marriage isn’t working in Thailand, then it is unlikely to work any better on the other side of the world. But who can say for sure?

[HardenedSoul]

Why is it that we are not honest about what we really want or what our partners really want. I think we just see and hear what we want to from our partners. Even if you find out that your partner lied (big surprise there), why not just make a new choice? We try so hard to change our partners....it rarely ever works.

What I want is a great regular shag, a couple of babies, and a bit of house-keeping (that's not really vital) as a bonus.

(pretty much what all men have wanted throughout the history of mankind)

Most 'modern' SNAGs are after exactly the same, but dress it up with a load of old &lt;deleted&gt; about seeking 'soul-mates' and 'life-partners' due to being completely pussy whipped.

What my partner wants? who knows and who cares!

And you wonder why some of the locals are lining up to over charge you and pretend not to understand your Thai?

Either you're just out to wind the thread up because you crave the attention or you really are a genuine, bona fide tool of the highest order.

[Thongkorn]

Whats the point of being married if you do not live with your Wife. It does not matter where you live, you have to work at any relationship any where.

[Thongkorn]

Whats the point of being married if you do not live with your Wife. It does not matter where you live, you have to work at any relationship any where.

[expatdreamer]

I've recently heard a few of my friends saying that getting your partner out of Thailand and living for a while in your own country is critical for the success of your relationship. I can see a logic in that however I have also heard of stories where doing just that has badly disrupted and destroyed some relationships that have gone well.

What's been your experience on this issue? Would you agree that people doing this have a greater chance of a long term relationship? Or does it just open a new set of problems?

I would suggest that giving your wife access to the courts in your home country would be a recipe for financial disaster, for those men in the 50% of marriages that eventually end in divorce. The odds are bad!

Yes, fully agree with this.

Recent case in point, just look at poor old "punch" at http://www.thaivisa.com/forum/topic/514228-i-am-screwed-and-i-know-it/

Never did hear how it ended up for "punch", but it certainly isnt a good sign when your Thai wife, after only 2 years in Australia, looks you directly in the eyes and tells you smugly she is going to take your house, and get a new rich husband to support her and her daughter. And by the way, guess how long a relationship is required to last in Oz in order for you to have to hand over half your house if the relationship goes pear shaped - wouldnt you know it, its 2 years - funny that.

And no, she wasnt an ex bar girl, she had a degree, good job, car, etc And the age difference at 17 years is a bit larger than normal for Oz standards but certainly not unworkable. Also sounded like the Thai wife really enjoyed her "girls nights out" with her Thai married girlfriends in Oz....

[StreetCowboy]

I reckon if losing your house means more to you than losing your wife then you probably shouldn't have got married. Or a mortgage.

SC

[expatdreamer]

I reckon if losing your house means more to you than losing your wife then you probably shouldn't have got married. Or a mortgage.

SC

A typical house in Australia, worth 15 million baht up to 30 million baht, will take you 20 to 30 years of work to pay off.

Based on my recent Thailand internet dating experience, it takes about an hour before offers of marriage come your way.

So one can be replaced in 30 years (which you wont have in terms of working life left), the other seems to be able to be replaced in a much shorter duration.