Thai Women Of Then And Now

[macksview]

having only been married for almost 6 years, i am only a pup compared to some posters.

wifes father is a retired police officer, the wife was brought up very traditionally, never was i allowed into the house before i engaged to her, i had to have permission to court her from him, chaperoned at all times when walking in the village or if we went to town.

she never had been to bars/pubs/discos, never smoked, drank and was a virgin till i married her.

she still wont go to a farang orientated pub or bar.

yes it seems a throwback to a bygone era, but her sister did everything the same way and she married a thai

you married a thai virgin with the familys approval ?

this probably calls for drinks all round

its probably the first time ever .......

yes it seems to be rare, with the familys approval, but they are there if you look for them.

it wasnt an easy process, slow and painstaking, caused me some blue balls at times.

[IanForbes]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

Very nice post. I commend you, sir. Glad to hear the "OTHER" side of the story.

[IanForbes]

There is an old saying that still holds true for many relationships... A man marries a woman expecting that she will never change... but she always changes. A woman marries a man expecting to change him... but he never changes.

Read into that say what you will. There is a lot of truth there. I'm 72 years old and seen it happen so many times I can't count them all.

There are exceptions to every rule and every generalization.

Another truth is the young good looking girls you admire when you are 16 are the same ones you will admire and desire when you are 80... but just won't have any access to... which is about the same as when you were 16 and lusting after the school cheerleader.

[wana]

Another truth is the young good looking girls you admire when you are 16 are the same ones you will admire and desire when you are 80... but just won't have any access to... which is about the same as when you were 16 and lusting after the school cheerleader.

so basically we should get them while we can........

[WebBangkok]

My Thai wife is also very tradition type, doesnt drink or go out at night.

Even when I go out drinking with friends, she rather stay home and look after our daughter.

She also never went to clubs or started drinking until she went to Australia to study because of her strict parents. She did it for a few years with then stopped.

Funny thing is when we moved to Thailand, her mother tried to say I can not go out at night and drink with friends as its too late I had a laugh and she got over it and finally understands I am an adult and can do whatever I want.

My wife is very strict Buddhist now, she does her chanting or whatever and there is a special name for it apparently for her dedication to it. It has its pro's and cons though. Its good she doesnt drink and wants to be a good girl and that, but she never comes out with me at night, but saying that I got mates who's wife/gf that would never let them out unless they are with them.

I see so many variety of Thai girls, there is one mate of mine who is like in a living hell with his wife, she throws things at him and rings him up every 10 minutes when he is out and she will turn up to the pub to try take him home, its funny at times but also a little sad too.

[RichBKK]

I am 30, my [now] wife is 32

Her background is a mixture of old and new. She speaks fluent English, loves visiting the UK and enjoys British music, movies, food and football. She also has a very low opinion of Thai men i.e. they are not her type at all and she thinks they are incorrigible cheaters

She is also not stereotypical in terms of look, shes pretty but shes curvy [not fat, but big hips, chest etc] rather than pencil thin. She is also very no nonsense and well organised, and has a dab hand at dealing with any bureaucratic crises that have emerged. Has a decent job as an editor and fashion expert, used to appear in soaps when a acting student. Only child so quite wilful and spoiled by her parents but shes also down to earth and realistic

her background is middle class but very traditional background, parents are both customs officers. I lived and still do live with them but slept in my own room till we were married recently. Her parents both left school at 14 and worked their way up, her dad was formerly a Muay Thai boxing champion in his youth. His sporting ability she inherited, bloody brilliant badminton player. Quite religious, only drinks sparingly

Also we met in the uk when she was travelling here and she knows that though my family is moderately wealthy, I am mostly independent of them and though i can scrape enough resources for visas etc, other than that I havent got a pot to piss in. Her family also prefer me to be based at home rather than working for a company here as they think they dont treat foreigners well [and they are right]

We are a bit different, she does know one or two people like us but quite a number who married much older men. It is a litle bit tricky though unless you are patient or well off to sustain a relationship when you are a youngish man in Thailand, but through flexibility and a kind and supportive family network [her parents] it can be done. Her family had no problem with me, her mum said she liked foreigners when she was younger too and she wouldnt like her only child marrying someone who isnt cute, regardless of whether he was rich or not :-P

[richard_smith237]

FiscalFizz, do you speak any Thai? If not, do you only date Thai girls who can speak some English? My observation is that if you don't speak Thai (as most of the "good" Thai girls don't speak English very well), you're pretty much in the same boat as older farangs in Thailand (who can't speak the language). Or do you have experience to the contrary?

There is a fundamental flaw in your logic. There is a large number of well educated highly respectable ladies in Bangkok who's English is excellent. It's not difficult for respectable younger guys to meet and end up in normal and healthy relationships with them. These ladies have plenty of options which in a lot of cases I doubt includes much older me (of course there are going to be a few exceptions).

You might also need to correct that sentence "most uneducated good girls wont speak English", the well educated ones surely will . It's very easy to tell what type of girl you are talking to based on the English they use. In a very similar manner, its very easy for a Thai to recognise where we as Westerners have learnt our Thai. So, if you picked up the equivalent of "I rike youuuuuuuuu, me smoke you good" in Thai, be very careful where you use it !!!

[kerryk]

FiscalFizz, do you speak any Thai?  If not, do you only date Thai girls who can speak some English?  My observation is that if you don't speak Thai (as most of the "good" Thai girls don't speak English very well), you're pretty much in the same boat as older farangs in Thailand (who can't speak the language).  Or do you have experience to the contrary?

There is a fundamental flaw in your logic. There is a large number of well educated highly respectable ladies in Bangkok who's English is excellent. It's not difficult for respectable younger guys to meet and end up in normal and healthy relationships with them. These ladies have plenty of options which in a lot of cases I doubt includes much older me (of course there are going to be a few exceptions).

You might also need to correct that sentence "most uneducated good girls wont speak English", the well educated ones surely will . It's very easy to tell what type of girl you are talking to based on the English they use. In a very similar manner, its very easy for a Thai to recognise where we as Westerners have learnt our Thai. So, if you picked up the equivalent of "I rike youuuuuuuuu, me smoke you good" in Thai, be very careful where you use it !!!

You could probably extend Bangkok to the Eastern seaboard or anywhere there are multinational companies. The language of multinational companies in almost any industry in Thailand IMO is English. I also know a lot of English teachers but even on a college level they can't speak English. But the corporate types can.

[Huayrat]

Im 41 she is 21 been together for 18 months and everything is good..... If you make age difference a problem then you will fail.. no problems in my marriage and believe it or not we do have things we like doing together.. The age brigade will love me so off you go lol

[wolf5370]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

sorry pal no offence intended but sounds like you have been reading a Bronte novel i find your story hard to believe

your only 40 that makes it 1972 the year u were born now move on say 20 years 1992 i take it u met ur loved one ok where in this time in any country did anyone have a Chaperone

Believe what you will, it's not important if you believe me or not. Those that know me (here and abroad) know the facts and I just relayed them here - I did round numbers as I am 42 (41 when I posted). We are 7 years apart in age. We have been married since 1998 (14 years). Her family may not have used the term 'chaperoned', but that is what it was - a member of family with us at all times when we were together. It was my wife's upbringing and how her family did things. It was not a problem for me and I am quite proud of it. It may not be a modern idea, but it is far from obsolete and many countries still have families that insist in moderated courtship. This is often in the upper classes, but not always - it is more related to traditional families I would suggest. Just because you have never seen a platypus, and it sounds daft, doesn't mean they don't exist.

Edited April 3, 2012 by wolf5370

[IanForbes]

Believe what you will, it's not important if you believe me or not. Those that know me (here and abroad) know the facts and I just relayed them here - I did round numbers as I am 42 (41 when I posted). We are 7 years apart in age. We have been married since 1998 (14 years). Her family may not have used the term 'chaperoned', but that is what it was - a member of family with us at all times when we were together. It was my wife's upbringing and how her family did things. It was not a problem for me and I am quite proud of it. It may not be a modern idea, but it is far from obsolete and many countries still have families that insist in moderated courtship. This is often in the upper classes, but not always - it is more related to traditional families I would suggest. Just because you have never seen a platypus, and it sounds daft, doesn't mean they don't exist.

Another good post, wolf... keep it up. It's always nice to hear the success stories. Unfortunately, the happy success stories usually draw the fewest responses and quickly drop off the board. Controversy always attracts the most attention.

[TallGuyJohninBKK]

I was just curious if an older gentleman would be so kind to comment on ... well... my Original Post.

Ehhh there young whipper-snapper!!! Can you speak up a bit???

My hearing ain't what it used to be... And my bones are old and creaky....

But I do have a pretty good (and hot) Thai wife.... Hehehehehe.

[wolf5370]

Believe what you will, it's not important if you believe me or not. Those that know me (here and abroad) know the facts and I just relayed them here - I did round numbers as I am 42 (41 when I posted). We are 7 years apart in age. We have been married since 1998 (14 years). Her family may not have used the term 'chaperoned', but that is what it was - a member of family with us at all times when we were together. It was my wife's upbringing and how her family did things. It was not a problem for me and I am quite proud of it. It may not be a modern idea, but it is far from obsolete and many countries still have families that insist in moderated courtship. This is often in the upper classes, but not always - it is more related to traditional families I would suggest. Just because you have never seen a platypus, and it sounds daft, doesn't mean they don't exist.

Another good post, wolf... keep it up. It's always nice to hear the success stories. Unfortunately, the happy success stories usually draw the fewest responses and quickly drop off the board. Controversy always attracts the most attention.

Thanks Ian

[h90]

Put money in thy purse.

important for the old guy, but also good for the young guy

[payak]

If only bargirls are capable of English why have I never heard one who can speak remotely good English,brief encounters with mainly drunk tourist that require very little or varied conversation will not teach you English.

Educated and good English speaking girls are plentiful, but not in the places tourists haunt looking to pick up, it's unlikly a tourist will come across such a girl unless you know someone.

If I here a well spoken English speaker, I think educated, poor English I think Bargirl (perhaps).

Learning a language is not easy.

Edited April 6, 2012 by payak

[arthurwait]

If only bargirls are capable of English why have I never heard one who can speak remotely good English,brief encounters with mainly drunk tourist that require very little or varied conversation will not teach you English.

Educated and good English speaking girls are plentiful, but not in the places tourists haunt looking to pick up, it's unlikly a tourist will come across such a girl unless you know someone.

If I here a well spoken English speaker, I think educated, poor English I think Bargirl (perhaps).

Learning a language is not easy.