Thai Women Of Then And Now

[FiscalFizz]

I will keep this as short as possible. Mods, feel free to move to appropriate sub-forum

Ok, so I am reading a bit about the guy who ends up marrying a Thai woman. A lot of the stories I read about romance and marriage in Thailand seem to come from men who have quite a few years on me. I feel like all the stories I read about someone marrying a Thai women come from middle-aged people. Nothing wrong with this, at all. I was just wondering if there is anyone in their 20s or 30s who came to Thailand and ended up getting married to a Thai woman. How has marriage/romance/dating/relationships changed, for the better or good over the years?? What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life? Has society changed the rules that much in Thailand? For example, America, where I am from, is very much a "pop" culture society compared to even 25 years ago...... This affects the things we do/talk about/dating etc....

I read the forums and stories, but can't help to think that they are not very relevant to my potential experience because they are being told from the point-of-view of someone a few generations older than me.

Thanks

[mahtin]

Put money in thy purse.

[Semper]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

[wolf5370]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

Edited February 26, 2012 by wolf5370

[1bbcd5]

Oh, thank God I can grow a beard and am uninterested in picking up other men on message forums!

[farang000999]

I was (am) in my twenties. Once the kids come you will have wrinkles, worry about bills, get fat, wake up tired, forget things, lose your car keys, forget to take the oil out of the mower before you put more in, forget to raise the mower on it's back wheel at that annoying uneven spot in the lawn and scalp the grass... (and that was just last month). look buddy, relationships are easy. you will meet a cute little sweat thai girl whose waist you can enclose in your hands and her body will be smooth as silk and tight as a knot and you wont need to ask any questions because it will be love. once you get all the bills and wrinkles - that is marriage. stop worrying about traditions or sin sot or wedding or any of that, it surely has no part of marriage - the doctor visits, tooth aches, first days of schools, chicken pox, lost car keys, lawn fertilize, busted sprinkler heads, clogged sinks.

if you read over this and none of it makes sense, don't worry, it will one day.

Edited February 26, 2012 by farang000999

[h90]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

But the 26 year old can date 26 year old women without paying for it.

[farang000999]

Farang in Thailand need to just worry about their own penises and wallets and enjoy the country and stop being angry and bitter and competitive with everyone else. There are plenty of women of all shapes and socio economic backgrounds to go around for all. Furthormore, I believe that love that is true and real creates a respite from death. All cowardice comes from not loving, or not loving well, which is the same thing. And when the man who is brave and true looks death squarely in the face like some rhino hunters I know, or Belmonte, who's truly brave. It is because they love with sufficient passion to push death out of their minds, until the return that it does to all men. And then you must make really good love again. Think about it.

[FiscalFizz]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

But the 26 year old can date 26 year old women without paying for it.

Haha, I love this response!

Posted with Thaivisa App http://apps.thaivisa.com

[britmaveric]

Funny enough a lad who is much older can date a 26yr old and not pay for it too. It all comes down to having a personality or not having one.

[MAJIC]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

But the 26 year old can date 26 year old women without paying for it.

So they would have us all believe!

[473geo]

When I first came to Thailand I dated around my own age, after a few years they were a bit younger, after a few more years they were a bit younger still, after a few more years they were quite a bit younger.......in short as I grew older the age of the women I dated stayed the same

Then I got married

What is it about this same age thing?

Edited February 26, 2012 by 473geo

[oldgent]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

sorry pal no offence intended but sounds like you have been reading a Bronte novel i find your story hard to believe

your only 40 that makes it 1972 the year u were born now move on say 20 years 1992 i take it u met ur loved one ok where in this time in any country did anyone have a Chaperone

[FiscalFizz]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

sorry pal no offence intended but sounds like you have been reading a Bronte novel i find your story hard to believe

your only 40 that makes it 1972 the year u were born now move on say 20 years 1992 i take it u met ur loved one ok where in this time in any country did anyone have a Chaperone

I not only believe him but found it nice reading his story. Thank you for the response. If you come into my thread to call someone a liar, please, do so with facts, and type your thoughts out in a way that doesn't leave the reader wondering if you are a 13 year old girl. " Like as in like u need to learn to spell and puncuate do U undersAnD Me PAL?"

[FiscalFizz]

Also, its interesting to see how people see, hear, read what they want. I was not looking for relationship advice for Thailand. I was just curious if an older gentleman would be so kind to comment on ... well... my Original Post.

I understand that many older guys date YOUNGer girls, hey, thats awesome, more power to ya Is there no any old farang who came to Thailand young, found a girl his own age etc etc. Even if you grew older and still dated 20 year old Thai girls, you would have at least noticed a change in the culture, no? I don't care if you are 40 or 60 or 25 dating a young Thai Girl. I guess I would need soemone who has lived in Thailand for the past 20-30 years, regardless.

Like one example for instance, a poster above talked about a Chaperone being present. Was this due to her family's background, the times and culture, and does it still go on today.

Funny getting the responses about relationship advice...That area is not a problem or concern for me.

[kerryk]

Also, its interesting to see how people see, hear, read what they want. I was not looking for relationship advice for Thailand. I was just curious if an older gentleman would be so kind to comment on ... well... my Original Post.

I understand that many older guys date YOUNGer girls, hey, thats awesome, more power to ya Is there no any old farang who came to Thailand young, found a girl his own age etc etc. Even if you grew older and still dated 20 year old Thai girls, you would have at least noticed a change in the culture, no? I don't care if you are 40 or 60 or 25 dating a young Thai Girl. I guess I would need soemone who has lived in Thailand for the past 20-30 years, regardless.

Like one example for instance, a poster above talked about a Chaperone being present. Was this due to her family's background, the times and culture, and does it still go on today.

Funny getting the responses about relationship advice...That area is not a problem or concern for me.

I came to Thailand when I was 22. I fell in love but my lady fled the country and ended up in college in the US where she met a Thai guy and they got married and have children and a business in Texas now.

At 50 years old my last GF in the States was a 19 year old stripper. We lived together for 3 years but she left me for a guy with more money so I moved back to Thailand to look for a good girl.

Since I have been back to Thailand I have found a number of good girls. I even found one good girl who used to be a bad girl, but she is now in her 60's. I have dated women in Thailand of many different ages and occupations. It's fun. I am having a lot more fun in Thailand in my 60's than I had in my 20's. I understand it better now.

Women were better 40 years ago and no one used condoms and they wore mini skirts but TV is better now. Thai women are brighter than Farang men and it takes about 40 years of extra experience for a Farang man to understand a 20 year old Thai women and be on the same intellectual level that is the real reason old guys date younger women.

To answer your question about the chaperon. Yes the chaperon thing still goes on today.

[dao16]

I had to sign up again to reply here (don't know what happened to previous id).

I met my wife when I was 26 in Thailand. She worked at a bar as a server. So, she was a half bar girl. I know she had some foreign boyfriends, but she was not one of the go every night with another guy types. Honestly, she doesn't really have the "look" for that, either, although she had her admirers (and foreign boyfriends...still have pictures of them today, but hey, I had my gfs in several countries before as well).

Basically, I liked her a lot, hung around the town where we met longer than I should have ^^ and ended up starting to run out of money. So, I had enough to take us back to another Asian country where I had been working and I told her "now or never", as I knew I would not send her money or anything from abroad (maybe once, but I knew I would not keep up with it).

Eventually, after a few weeks of somewhat tense deliberations, she agreed to go with me and try it out. I met her family twice. Stayed at their home for a few weeks. Then we went abroad and worked for a year. After getting sick of jumping hoops to keep her in country, I decided we should get married for visa purposes. We were 28 (I am about 6 months older than the wife). Still together now after almost 6 years and we live mostly in Thailand, although I do have to sometimes go abroad to work and fill up the coffers. Might make the move to the home country soon, though, so we can make more and educate the chillens'.

That said, I have talked many foreign men out of staying with Thai girls. Not directly, but I just tell them how things work so they can be informed. All of them have decided it is not for them. Who knows, maybe later someone will bite, but I prefer they really know how living in/with a Thai woman and family. I am still fine with it, but there are certain expectations and assumptions that the typical falang will have to change to make it successful.

Ok, there is the story. Have fun and good luck.

[richard_smith237]

I'm 3 years older than my Wife.

We are from similar socio-economic backgrounds.

We met when she was 30, we were introduced by my closest friend (who is Thai and married to my Wife's best friend).

She is from a privileged background but also well grounded.

I am the only Westerner my wife ever dated, she never imagined or thought she would date a Western guy, but surprisingly enough she is incredibly western in her outlook, opinions and knowledge.

I can't see what I would have in common with a 20 or even 26 year old. I certainly doubt I could enjoy the topics of conversation and daily life as I do with my wife.

This is very similar to a relationship I might have found myself in at home in the UK, I like being in a healthy normal relationship.

[richard_smith237]

Thai women are brighter than Farang men and it takes about 40 years of extra experience for a Farang man to understand a 20 year old Thai women and be on the same intellectual level that is the real reason old guys date younger women.

I understand many more of your previous posts after reading this...

Don't you mean Thai women are brighter than YOU, and it took YOU 40 years of extra experience to understand women? (please don't generalise for the rest of us).

Perhaps another outlook - Older men / more experienced men are more tolerant of a 20 year old because they have to be. Younger men have more options.

If you could take your experience and put yourself in a younger body, do you think you would do better?

[jayjayjayjay]

Met and married in my 20's, was a complete disaster, divoirced 8 years later. Met someone else, the oldman young girl syndrome, 7 years later it still feels like we known each other two weeks it's that good!

[chrisinth]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

But the 26 year old can date 26 year old women without paying for it.

Not where Semper is talking about methinks

[Geekfreaklover]

^{I was 24 when I first arrived in the kingdom. She was 26. We were from similar socio-economic backgrounds. We fell in love. We got married. We had kids. I had a lot of money. Built a house. In Thailand. She stole the money and kept the house. We got divorced. I took care of the kids. By care I mean custody without one satang from her.}

^{Ten years later I'm glad I learned the lesson. Difficult to really know people sometimes.}

^{Anyway, I'm a richer man now.}

Edited March 14, 2012 by Geekfreaklover

[Carib]

I'm 40 now, but I was in my 20's when I married my Thai wife. A lot of my friends are similarly quite close in age to their Thai wives/GF.

Thailand is a mismatch of the old and new, and the type of courtship (if any at all) will depend on the girl's upbringing and family.

In my case, my wife was from a very traditional family, her father was a naval officer and she had been brought up by her grandmother whilst he was serving (her mother stayed with her husband). We courted for two years before we became engaged and married. Much of this time we were chaperoned by one family member or another and rarely were alone (although some family members would allow us some privacy, but stayed in earshot and with doors wide open). All this was new to me coming from the UK and having had many girl friends, from the west .

She had never been in to a bar, had never drank alcohol, smoked, taken drugs, etc (still doesn't to all of those except she will go to a bar with me or friends, but never alone). She had been privately educated and had (has) a brain on her shoulders.

We now have 2 daughters bordering on teenage and are still happily married (she's currently working in the UK on a contact; I'm here looking after the kids ).

I met her through a school friend and business associate (thai) who (through marriage) was her uncle. I met her whilst on holiday with said school friend after we sold our business (in the UK) and were having a well earned break. I had no intentions of meeting someone - infact I had already batted off (figuratively) several friends of my school buddy's wife (and her younger sister too)! We met while they were visiting family and we hit it off. I returned four more times that year (within 6 months) - and we began courting (references were taken!) - the rest is history.

I have friends, as I said above, who also have wives they met in their 20s - some are still in their low 30s. Some were bar girls, some were hotel workers (met when staying in the hotel they worked for), a couple worked in local shops and some were business people (or musicians) and met through working together. No different from anywhere else in the world really. Some of these girls are traditional (the musician is for example) and some very modern (in a western way).

I have always said, fish in a sewer and much more chance of catching crocoldiles and turds, but that doesn't mean there isn't a gold nugget in there somewhere too.

sorry pal no offence intended but sounds like you have been reading a Bronte novel i find your story hard to believe

your only 40 that makes it 1972 the year u were born now move on say 20 years 1992 i take it u met ur loved one ok where in this time in any country did anyone have a Chaperone

Try Italy, and especially Sicily, there is always a brother sister aunt whatever around, no way you will be alone with a woman without having the proper and stated intentions. In Thailand it is not uncommon even now to have "self" chaperoning for a woman, yes arranged by herself to satisfy her family.

[chops]

Yes, younger guys come here too to get married. We're not all 50-60 year olds.

I came here at age 25 for the bar girls. I had never slept with any farang women(couldn't afford it). I was a virgin when I arrived here.

At age 27 I decided to move here full time. Met a nice Thai girl age 21. She never worked in a bar which is something that I was looking for. I wanted a virgin.

I guess it's no different from what older men experience here you know..

[pattayadingo]

What should someone at 26 years old know about Thai woman and dating versus someone in their "retirement" years of life?

Most of the old guys seem to date women in your age.

In age terms the OP's girlfriend / wife has not been born yet, so cannot advise.

[macksview]

having only been married for almost 6 years, i am only a pup compared to some posters.

wifes father is a retired police officer, the wife was brought up very traditionally, never was i allowed into the house before i engaged to her, i had to have permission to court her from him, chaperoned at all times when walking in the village or if we went to town.

she never had been to bars/pubs/discos, never smoked, drank and was a virgin till i married her.

she still wont go to a farang orientated pub or bar.

yes it seems a throwback to a bygone era, but her sister did everything the same way and she married a thai

[nocturn]

I was (am) in my twenties. Once the kids come you will have wrinkles, worry about bills, get fat, wake up tired, forget things, lose your car keys, forget to take the oil out of the mower before you put more in, forget to raise the mower on it's back wheel at that annoying uneven spot in the lawn and scalp the grass... (and that was just last month). look buddy, relationships are easy. you will meet a cute little sweat thai girl whose waist you can enclose in your hands and her body will be smooth as silk and tight as a knot and you wont need to ask any questions because it will be love. once you get all the bills and wrinkles - that is marriage. stop worrying about traditions or sin sot or wedding or any of that, it surely has no part of marriage - the doctor visits, tooth aches, first days of schools, chicken pox, lost car keys, lawn fertilize, busted sprinkler heads, clogged sinks.

if you read over this and none of it makes sense, don't worry, it will one day.

you seem lawn obsessed.

[Berkshire]

FiscalFizz, do you speak any Thai? If not, do you only date Thai girls who can speak some English? My observation is that if you don't speak Thai (as most of the "good" Thai girls don't speak English very well), you're pretty much in the same boat as older farangs in Thailand (who can't speak the language). Or do you have experience to the contrary?

[GreenSnapper]

"Good girls don't speak English"

Translation: Farang dates uneducated girls and is quite gullible.

[wana]

having only been married for almost 6 years, i am only a pup compared to some posters.

wifes father is a retired police officer, the wife was brought up very traditionally, never was i allowed into the house before i engaged to her, i had to have permission to court her from him, chaperoned at all times when walking in the village or if we went to town.

she never had been to bars/pubs/discos, never smoked, drank and was a virgin till i married her.

she still wont go to a farang orientated pub or bar.

yes it seems a throwback to a bygone era, but her sister did everything the same way and she married a thai

you married a thai virgin with the familys approval ?

this probably calls for drinks all round

its probably the first time ever .......