Jump to content
Login with your Gmail HERE and start posting in seconds! ×
Don't just read! Be part of the Community! Join the conversation ×

Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

theblether

By theblether
in ASEAN NOW Community Pub

 Share

Recommended Posts

necronx99 Gold Member

necronx99

Posted
Posted

Any Tout - Oh, I can see you have just walked past 16 other guys waving your hand and saying "no", they're offering exactly the same crap I am so I think I'll just save my breath. You obviously don't want it.

Thai electrician - Are you crazy? Of course electricity here is the same as yours, Thailand is another country, not another dimension..

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 1.1k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Days

mca Ruby Member

mca

Posted
Posted

7-11 staff -" No you can't have a f#cking straw."

Some upcountry mothers -" Sorry I can't play cards today. I need the money to buy my kid a new school uniform".

Baankok bus driver - " Mirror, signal, manoeuvre"

" I'm never going to MK Suki again - Over priced <deleted> served in an atmosphere akin to a train station"

Middle aged female village school teacher -" Why Nong Lek, you're absolutely correct and I was wrong. My sincere apologies"

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
David48 Star Member

David48

Posted
Posted

7-11 staff -" No you can't have a f#cking straw."

Some upcountry mothers -" Sorry I can't play cards today. I need the money to buy my kid a new school uniform".

Baankok bus driver - " Mirror, signal, manoeuvre"

" I'm never going to MK Suki again - Over priced <deleted> served in an atmosphere akin to a train station"

Middle aged female village school teacher -" Why Nong Lek, you're absolutely correct and I was wrong. My sincere apologies"

Well done mca ... all originial stuff.

Don't be deterred from my comments above ... keep posting ... just keep it original!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
mca Ruby Member

mca

Posted
Posted

"We'd better pull over. There's an ambulance behind with his lights and siren going."

Thai Doc - "Now I'm going to give you just one bag of pills"

Thai wedding- " Turn the PA down Somchai! It's only 4 am and the neighbours might be sleeping"

Upcountry motorcycle rider - Of course I've got a driving license and insurance. What do you take me for? An irresponsible fool?"

"Khun MCA. Your resemblance to an Armani fashion model is quite uncanny"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
wana Gold Member

wana

Posted
Posted

post office - you are welcome to use your own box ,not need to buy one from counter #3

post office -i can see your box is covered in thick sello tape and there is no need for me to insist you tie a string around it as well for the sake of appearences

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Payboy Diamond Member

Payboy

Posted
Posted

"We'd better pull over. There's an ambulance behind with his lights and siren going."

Ambulance driver - I'm going to turn off my lights and siren, after all I'm off duty and only running a bit late to meet my tilak at the moo katha. rolleyes.gif

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
macksview Silver Member

macksview

Posted
Posted

newly elected country poo yai baan to voters " i will fix all the roads in the village not just the road to my house"

poo yai baan "i paid for my new house from my own savings, not money from the orbator"

village voter "i dont expect 500 baht for my vote"

monk to mia farang "dont you bother to buy 9 new brooms for the temple this year, its someone elses turn"

thai ministry of culture spokesman "biergarten 7 and star of light are to be declared national heritage sites"

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
necronx99 Gold Member

necronx99

Posted
Posted

Wife - teraak, I'm not going to make you drive an hour and a half back through traffic just to correct the cashiers 32 baht mistake, that would be crazy! Lets just forget about it, go home and relax.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

theblether has started a landslie! lol!

Ok, things you wouldn't hear in Thailand. Going out on a limb here and poking fun at stereotypes ok?

German man..."No beer for me thanks. Never touch the stuff"

French man... "Surprise me. Bring anything on the menu as long as there's no garlic in it"

Nigerian man... "Hello sir, would you like to be scammed today"

American man... "Man i just love everything about this country"

Apologies in advance to anyone who takes offence to this. Just for laughs.jap.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

Farang teacher of English...."I just love this job, Don't need the money, just love the kids attentiveness and will to learn"

Aah! I just made a mistake....things you wouldn't hear.

Farang... "Teaching English here sucks big time. I hate it and the money is not enough to fuel my addiction to alcohol!"

Link to comment
Share on other sites
  • Popular Post
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
  • Popular Post
Posted

Thai bus driver.... "Attention all passengers. I am going to drive 600km like i need a sh*t and the toilet is at the end of the ride. Also be aware that i'm very tired and have run out of yaa baa. I hope you enjoy your trip"

  • Like 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites
jambco984 Silver Member

jambco984

Posted
Posted

Don't worry about paying my medical bills where I landed on my knee, after all I did hit your car with my motorbike and no driving license and now the police want to give you 400 baht for your inconvenience.

A little personal but I doubt we will ever here this being said here

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Sing_Sling Platinum Member

Sing_Sling

Posted
Posted

Farang teacher of English...."I just love this job, Don't need the money, just love the kids attentiveness and will to learn"

Farang teacher of English...."I just love this job, Don't need the money, just love the kids attentiveness and will to learn"

Farang TEFL Teacher - - - "I just luv dis job. I dont kneed the muney, just luv the kid's attunti ettentu attentuve wantung to lern."

  • Like 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

Farang teacher of English...."I just love this job, Don't need the money, just love the kids attentiveness and will to learn"

Farang teacher of English...."I just love this job, Don't need the money, just love the kids attentiveness and will to learn"

Farang TEFL Teacher - - - "I just luv dis job. I dont kneed the muney, just luv the kid's attunti ettentu attentuve wantung to lern."

cheesy.gif verry gud! Mayde me larughf

Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

Without trying to sound like the "Ten Things" Police but ...

There are so many funny one liners here then please read from the first post ... you might get a laugh from others have added.

When you have something new to contribute ... add it.

I'm sure that you have something original to contribute and heck, it's going to make it much easier to read when necronx99 has to compile a list again ...

If reading from the first post is a pain then simply go to page #11 where there is a list of over 300 thus far contributed.

... or simply ignore this thought and repeat what others has said.

Carry on ...

TV member..,."I will never post anything that makes me look like i'm in charge or makes another member think what others post is below me or makes my sense of humour dissipate"tongue.png

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

7-11 staff -" No you can't have a f#cking straw."

Some upcountry mothers -" Sorry I can't play cards today. I need the money to buy my kid a new school uniform".

Baankok bus driver - " Mirror, signal, manoeuvre"

" I'm never going to MK Suki again - Over priced <deleted> served in an atmosphere akin to a train station"

Middle aged female village school teacher -" Why Nong Lek, you're absolutely correct and I was wrong. My sincere apologies"

Well done mca ... all originial stuff.

Don't be deterred from my comments above ... keep posting ... just keep it original!

Yea mca. Well done you have appeased the boss! Listen up y'all....keep it original ok! Or else remain unforgiven by 'Him Almighty'! crazy.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites
dean999 Silver Member

dean999

Posted
Posted

theblether has started a landslie! lol!

Ok, things you wouldn't hear in Thailand. Going out on a limb here and poking fun at stereotypes ok?

German man..."No beer for me thanks. Never touch the stuff"

French man... "Surprise me. Bring anything on the menu as long as there's no garlic in it"

Nigerian man... "Hello sir, would you like to be scammed today"

American man... "Man i just love everything about this country"

Apologies in advance to anyone who takes offence to this. Just for laughs.jap.gif

You forgot the Brit's....I hate cups of tea, full english breakfast's and i just love rain.

Irish......Guinness taste's like sh_t.

Italian's......I drive to fast and i'm ugly.

American......I understand British humour. Gun's are stupid.

French......I love the British and vice versa.

Thai's......not tonight, i'm tired and don't want to party or get drunk or even eat.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
beerchang Advanced Member

beerchang

Posted
Posted

theblether has started a landslie! lol!

Ok, things you wouldn't hear in Thailand. Going out on a limb here and poking fun at stereotypes ok?

German man..."No beer for me thanks. Never touch the stuff"

French man... "Surprise me. Bring anything on the menu as long as there's no garlic in it"

Nigerian man... "Hello sir, would you like to be scammed today"

American man... "Man i just love everything about this country"

Apologies in advance to anyone who takes offence to this. Just for laughs.jap.gif

You forgot the Brit's....I hate cups of tea, full english breakfast's and i just love rain.

Irish......Guinness taste's like sh_t.

Italian's......I drive to fast and i'm ugly.

American......I understand British humour. Gun's are stupid.

French......I love the British and vice versa.

Thai's......not tonight, i'm tired and don't want to party or get drunk or even eat.

theblether has started a landslie! lol!

Ok, things you wouldn't hear in Thailand. Going out on a limb here and poking fun at stereotypes ok?

German man..."No beer for me thanks. Never touch the stuff"

French man... "Surprise me. Bring anything on the menu as long as there's no garlic in it"

Nigerian man... "Hello sir, would you like to be scammed today"

American man... "Man i just love everything about this country"

Apologies in advance to anyone who takes offence to this. Just for laughs.jap.gif

You forgot the Brit's....I hate cups of tea, full english breakfast's and i just love rain.

Irish......Guinness taste's like sh_t.

Italian's......I drive to fast and i'm ugly.

American......I understand British humour. Gun's are stupid.

French......I love the British and vice versa.

Thai's......not tonight, i'm tired and don't want to party or get drunk or even eat.

He he! rolleyes.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.








×
×
  • Create New...
""