Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........

[theblether]

I have a cunning plan.

It was so ridiculous I had to give you a like once I had stopped laughing

[canuckamuck]

Thai TV producer: Let's take out all the boings and slide whistles and see if our audience can figure out what the parts are on their own.

Thai TV producer: Lets make a documentary.

[beerchang]

Thai girl.... "You what! You want to buy me an iPhone! No way! Bowl of somtam instead please"

[beerchang]

Thai golf caddy... "Sheesh, you can't play for <deleted>!"

[beerchang]

Thai Hiso tv star girl.... "I have no luck. All I want is a fat, bald, chainsmoking, alcoholic farang.....preferably with dodgy tattoos"

[beerchang]

Ladyboy...."I'm not putting that thing in my mouth"

[beerchang]

Ladyboy to bargirl...."How much for short time baby!"

[beerchang]

Indian fellah outside his tailor shop to farang...."Bloody 'ell mate! No way you need a suit. Move along"

[arthurwait]

This enjoyable thread is now going 'off the rails'..

Was it caused by balloons ?

[macksview]

thai airways trolly dolly to fat farang " yes go ahead grope me or try and flirt with me, you have a very good chance of me going to bed with you when we land at bkk"

trolly dolly to farang "oh your thai language is wonderful, are you sure your not andrew briggs?"

[BigJohnnyBKK]

The sound of one hand fapping

[StreetCowboy]

The sound of one hand fapping

I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. I leave you with this quote from the Wiktionary page on the topic

"He really likes to fap; I hear him five times a day at least."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fap

Unless your point is that with current market conditions, there should be no-one obliged to resort to twisting one off the wrist, but I am sure that elsewhere posters have identified one another as definite participants in the solitary arts

SC

SC

[David48]

The sound of one hand fapping

I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. I leave you with this quote from the Wiktionary page on the topic

"He really likes to fap; I hear him five times a day at least."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fap

Unless your point is that with current market conditions, there should be no-one obliged to resort to twisting one off the wrist, but I am sure that elsewhere posters have identified one another as definite participants in the solitary arts

SC

SC

SC, you used words there that even I had to look up.

Please resume your medication at the earliest available opportunity.

[StreetCowboy]

The sound of one hand fapping

I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. I leave you with this quote from the Wiktionary page on the topic

"He really likes to fap; I hear him five times a day at least."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fap

Unless your point is that with current market conditions, there should be no-one obliged to resort to twisting one off the wrist, but I am sure that elsewhere posters have identified one another as definite participants in the solitary arts

SC

SC

SC, you used words there that even I had to look up.

Please resume your medication at the earliest available opportunity.

I'm self-medicating now... its downhill from here on, I'm afraid. Imagine how hard those words would have been to look up, with bonus typos...

[pastitche]

The sound of one hand fapping

I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. I leave you with this quote from the Wiktionary page on the topic

"He really likes to fap; I hear him five times a day at least."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fap

Unless your point is that with current market conditions, there should be no-one obliged to resort to twisting one off the wrist, but I am sure that elsewhere posters have identified one another as definite participants in the solitary arts

SC

SC

I can only bow to your etymological knowledge Sir Cowboy but would hesitantly point out that the noun onomatopoeia has, as its adjective, onomatopoeic.

[StreetCowboy]

The sound of one hand fapping

I feel obliged to disagree on this one; thank you for the learning opportunity, but it appears that "to fap" is etymologically derived from "fap!" an onomatopaiec exclamation for the sound of solitary gentlemanly stimulation from English-language manga-style comics. Being fortuitously blessed with a monomanual-sized member, I can confirm that one or two hands, the sound is the same. I leave you with this quote from the Wiktionary page on the topic

"He really likes to fap; I hear him five times a day at least."

http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/fap

Unless your point is that with current market conditions, there should be no-one obliged to resort to twisting one off the wrist, but I am sure that elsewhere posters have identified one another as definite participants in the solitary arts

SC

SC

I can only bow to your etymological knowledge Sir Cowboy but would hesitantly point out that the noun onomatopoeia has, as its adjective, onomatopoeic.

The pearls of self-medication...

I can't believe the rugby has finished already and I've still three tigers in the fridge.. what a misjudgement!

And also that emphasises the importance of independent checking; no job is too small or too trivail that it would not benefit from being done right.

SC

[pipo1000]

We are well aware that these food products are contaminated due to the floods and a risk to your health,but we still try to sell them at reduced prices.

[Thaddeus]

Thai Hiso tv star girl.... "I have no luck. All I want is a fat, bald, chainsmoking, alcoholic farang.....preferably with dodgy tattoos"

A will in my favour and an incurable illness.

[Thaddeus]

No Ploy... don't put spoons in the fork drawer.

[Thaddeus]

I've had a great idea Somchai, let's ask a farang how to do it.

[Thaddeus]

What if?

[macksview]

Thai Hiso tv star girl.... "I have no luck. All I want is a fat, bald, chainsmoking, alcoholic farang.....preferably with dodgy tattoos"

where does that leave the other 50 farangs in thailand that dont meet these criteria?

[loong]

When a container of Bpla Raa is opened in the vicinity...

Thai - "Who farted?? that smells disgusting!" or "Jeez, did something die in here?"

When a container of Bpla Raa is opened in the vicinity...

Farang - "What is that pleasant aroma?"

[loong]

Highway department - "You know if we used some different colours other than black and red on our warning signs at roadworks, people could see them easier at night and there may be fewer accidents"

[loong]

Driver after some roadside maintenance -

"Well now that's fixed, I'll remove the branches that I put in the motorbike lane"

[canuckamuck]

"I keep being headhunted by these ivy league colleges to head their long term planning commitees."

[GreenSnapper]

Taxi driver:

One moment, I'll check the map how to get there.

[beerchang]

Thai Hiso tv star girl.... "I have no luck. All I want is a fat, bald, chainsmoking, alcoholic farang.....preferably with dodgy tattoos"

where does that leave the other 50 farangs in thailand that dont meet these criteria?

Don't know mack....Never met the other 49!

[swisstouristpattaya]

"welcome in los"

[macksview]

Thai Hiso tv star girl.... "I have no luck. All I want is a fat, bald, chainsmoking, alcoholic farang.....preferably with dodgy tattoos"

where does that leave the other 50 farangs in thailand that dont meet these criteria?

Don't know mack....Never met the other 49!

i used to be one of the 49, i got called a fat bustard the other day at work, been called a bustard many times but never a fat one, so thats it dodgy tattoos for me now, take up smoking morning rain or gold city again, start wandering around town drunk without my shirt on, ah to aspire to being a real farang.