Payboy Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) As I work in the customer service dept, it is my responsibility to give all customers the best possible service. Edited April 5, 2012 by Payboy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 This car park is full. Expat Driver : There are no spaces in the car park, I will just have to park elsewhere. Thai Driver : I will abandom my car in the middle of car park, but I will leave the hand brake off so people can move the car, if they want to get out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Waiting to be served in McDonald's. Thai Person : These Ex-pats cant speak Thai, so I will simply walk to the front of the queue and order. Expat: Am I stood here for the good of my health or what ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Moped Rider : Sorry ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Taxi Driver : It was my fault. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Expat in Pattaya : I've had enough Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Pilot losing control of a Plane in Ko Samui : Jesus 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Thai Girl in Pattaya: Come with me. You wont forget tonight Mr. Expat : Hey <deleted> your a bloke. Thai Girl in Pattaya: Told you Mr. . . Unforgettable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autan Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Last one from me here. Expat in Pattaya : I only came to Thailand for a bit a fun and good food. Now I have a Pregnant Girlfriend and a new Mother-In-Law. I had better tell the Wife back home, I'm leaving her. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Bargirl: Would you like to meet my 5 kids? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Songkran reveler: You know, throwing a bucket of icewater at passing motorcyclists could be dangerous. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 7-11 cashier: Excuse me but that gentleman behind you was in line first. Please take your place in the back of the line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maidu Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 " won't park in the third lane out from the curb, as that would likely block dozens of already-parked cars for the whole time I'm at the festival. I'll park further away, and walk 200 meters to the festival." "I won't double park in busy traffic, while simply leaving my parking lights blinking, as that would probably cause a major traffic jam." "I'll ask the waiter not to put MSG in my childrens' food, as I've heard MSG ('pom churot' in Thai) jangles brain cells and causes irritableness and headaches, and may be a factor in why my kids aren't doing as well as they could with their school assignments." Thai mother: "I won't bundle the new baby in multiple layers of clothing, including booties and knit cap, just because it's one degree cooler than ideal temperature. Better to let the child's skin breathe. I might even allow a few rays of the sun to grace her skin once in awhile. Naw, just kidding." Chinese-Thai mother "I'll allow my three year old toddler to feel what its like to touch his feet and knees on a floor rather than holding him every moment he's not sleeping." Thai university girl: "I'll do an experiment to see which, if any whitening creams work. I'll put dabs of each of the forty three different creams at specific places on my arms, while making a chart to keep track. After a few weeks, I'll see whether any of the creams have any affect, and then publish my findings." Thai University girl: "I'd like to get my apartment paid for, and for that I'll find a nice older man, but I won't use a katoy to assist with the initial meeting." Thai University girl: "Sure, I know my shirt is too tight. All the most popular girls do it, and they always get dates for the week-end." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StreetCowboy Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 "" Thais often leave things unsaid, and sadly, we so rarely hear what was unsaid... perhaps we should listen more carefully SC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Suttisan District Police Chief: We are grateful that Chuwit exposed the casino operation in my district. Edited April 6, 2012 by pauljones Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Thai politician or General: We should reconsider encroaching on national park land and building vacation homes. It's not right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Thai Customs Service: There won't be any under the table payments necessary to pick up your belongings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Land Department: I can do that right away sir. No backhanders necessary. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Thai Airport Immigration Official: Welcome to Thailand.(smiles) We are so happy to see you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Let's apply some logic to the situation. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xthAi76s Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Polite (or asexual) Thai Male: "I know there are 6 sweet, young ladies with extraordinarily short skirts on going up the escalator in front of me, and, rather than almost standing on the escalator backwards or keeping my head down the entire ride, I AM going to look at their gorgeous, young, soft legs and/or @ss because god-darnit, I've got a p3nis, and I'm a man!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Payboy Posted April 6, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted April 6, 2012 I dont mind losing face on this matter, I am just happy to do the right thing. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Upcountry Thai wife to farang husband: That man is not my brother. He's my husband. He lets me sleep with you until I can transfer your wealth to my account. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xthAi76s Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Farang twice the size of average Thai dudes: "Yeah, I know I weigh twice as much and am twice as tall as the average Thai guy, but there's just something about their skin tight pants, cartoonish anime haircuts, white makeup'd faces, effeminate voices and boy-like musculature that just scares the shiFt outta me, so I avoid making eye contact with them." Edited April 6, 2012 by xthAi76s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Farang: I got into an altercation with a Thai guy and none of his friends joined in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 TukTuk Driver to tourist: On the 10 Baht city tour, I will pass you off from one scammer to the next. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Thong Lor Police Chief: What? My officers are trolling the hotel district and randomly pulling tourists out of taxies, searching them? I'll put a stop to that immediately! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Thai Newspaper Editor: Some stories I print and some stories I leave out. It all depends on how much they pay. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pauljones Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 English Hooligan: Maybe its not right to go on a sex crazed, drunken rampage through other peoples country. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xthAi76s Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) Farang to his Farang buddy about a young (but legal-age) Thai hottie: "Listen, I have a daughter her age, so, NO, I won't. It's just wrong, y'know? Right? I mean, am I right??" Edited April 6, 2012 by xthAi76s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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