Ten Things You Will Never Hear In Thailand.........and a few more to boot. I was reading through several dozen replies to topics and it got me thinking what are you least likely to hear in Thailand. As usual I'll start us off and I bet there will be a few responses which are right on the button........

1. The Father............"What? You want to pay Sin Sod for her? Your joking!!"............

2. Mother.................."I don't like gold".

3. Girlfriend.............."I'm only with you for the money"

4. Brit Pensioner......"Keep the pension rise, put it to the national debt".

5. Ladyboy..............."Does my ass look big in this?"

6. Wife......................"If we can't buy the house in your name then I do not want it"

7. Scandinavians......Laughter ( sorry George )

8. Buffalo.................."I'm telling you, I'm never sick!!"

9. Bar Girl................"You no handsum man"

10. Silence..............Silence is a criminal offence in Thailand.

No doubt some of you are wishing for some silence from theblether, but sorry, it's what I do!!

So what do you think you will never hear in Thailand?

11) In my case... you so hansum you have me for free.

11) In my case... you so hansum you have me for free.

me too

12) Ohhhh! you have small....!

'10. Silence...Silence is a criminal offense in Thailand'

oh yeah?...then those of us that have endured THE SILENT TREATMENT are entitled to prosecute at will...

'silent today are we?...you shall regret that me darling...' (a small, cringing brown woman with a Vincent Price figure towering menacingly...)

http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://feardex.com/wp-content/uploads/hohh.jpg&imgrefurl=http://feardex.com/moview/house-on-haunted-hill-1959-review/&h=285&w=400&sz=22&tbnid=e1S3cLAOdiwLBM:&tbnh=90&tbnw=126&zoom=1&docid=MKnL50FZHHenYM&sa=X&ei=FvxgT-inLdCzrAfC6NmQBg&ved=0CF4Q9QEwBA&dur=4344

We will never hear; Blethering in Thailand, but something tells me that is going to change

13) Taxi Driver ................. sure I have change for 1,000 Baht

13a ) Taxi Driver ………... oh you are tired after long haul flight and you want me to stop blethering on … no problem (thanks Carib)

14) Tuk Tuk driver .......... You only want down the road, sure, 30 Baht, hop in

15) Apartment Manager .. Yes, we charge same price for electricity that we buy it for

16) (Any) Embassy ........... So your girlfriend promises to return to Thailand after the Visa expires, good enough for me ... APPROVED

17.....My Buffalo never get sick.

18.....You come live me,I build you Big House

19.....Send me money,I keep work in Bar

20.....Husband me he good Thai man

21) I can't take your money, you will have to pay this ticket at the station.

22) I know exactly what you are after, it is on the bottom shelf in aisle 3

23) We don't have it but I can order it and it will be here in 2 days.

24) You ugly. Go home.

12) Ohhhh! you have small....!

As a friend once told me, he met a girl who wouldn't stop going on about how handsome he was. He convinced himself that she had a good point. Then she kept saying what a nice smile he had. Again, he couldn't believe what an honest and truthful girl she was. It wasn't until they got back to the bedroom and she pointed out what a large one he had that he realised she was a total bare faced liar.

25) Father in law - "Dinner is on me"

26) Wife - "I dont care what all my gf's have, I am happy with what I have now"

27) Waitress - "Heres your free water"

28) Oncoming driver - "Go ahead and walk in front of me, I brake for pedestrians"

29) Store employee - "May I help you"

30) Any Thai woman - "Im full and cant eat any more"

31) Wife - "You smell fine darling, you dont need to shower"

32) Wife - "Lets go to the beach so I can get a tan"

33) Shop owner - "No sir its the same price for you as it is for Thais"

32) I'm sorry. Completely my fault (pretty much any Thai)

34 Today you sleep all day, Teerak. I do everything.

We should watch how other countries do things so we can become more efficient.

Let's allow westerners the opportunity to fully own their businesses so they can manage them properly with less risk, it would improve foreign investment.

We'll give # 35, 36) to canuckamuck ... stop posting while I'm writing mine !

Adding one more ...

37) Gf/Wife/Mistress .... I only buy cheap shoes, 300 Baht, here is your change

Edit: Changed my mind from saying something supporting the Thais

.

Alright me ol' china? How ya diddlin'?

38) No money needed Sir, the jetski was damaged like this before you took it out.

39) Indian ... Why would you need a suit Sir? TiT

Shopkeeper : of course you can get a refund

Shopkeeper: customer service is a priority

Any Thai : Excuse me

Thai family members : Yes, I'll put fuel back in after I have used it.

Thai family members: I only want to borrow it for a short time

Lakorns are crap.

Most Thais: "Sorry..." and/or "Sorry, my mistake..."

Most Thais to a foreigner: "Your Thai language is crap, I've no idea what you're talking about..."

That's a blethering good list, But after an afternoon and evening of debauchery I'm too tired to think of any more. Oh, and I didn't have one alcoholic drink yesterday.

Bar Girl - "Yes, I work bar 3 years already and have 10 Farang boyfriends that send me money every month"

Girlfriend - "Him? oh no, him not my brother, him my husband"

Girlfriend/Wife - "NO, I not want to start a business, I have no business acumen whaysoever and would surely lose all the money that you invest"

Anyone - "Here's the 10,000 Baht that I borrowed, repaid on time, in full and I added an extra 1000 as interest"

Anyone- "Thankyou, I'm really grateful and it is much appreciated"

Bargirl - "Don't be stupid, I only know you 5 days already, why would I love you so soon? No I won't miss you when you are back in FarangLand, I'll probably have another boyfriend before your plane lands"