Thailand Really Likes Old Western Guys

[kerryk]

I am reminded reading threads here how much I like Thailand, why and how utterly clueless some people posting on Thai Visa are.

Once you get out of places like Bangkok and Phuket and into the real Thailand it becomes quite obvious just how much Thai people like old Western guys.

More and more every year old Western guys come to Thailand to retire and take advantage of the positive attitude and deference that age is shown in Asia in general and Thailand specifically.

I can go out to eat and party with three generations every day if I want with no one thinking it unusual.

Mom and Pop, grandmother and grandfather and the teenage kids regularly eat out together and go to concerts of artists both current and old fashioned. The kids like both genres of music and dancing.

No one thinks it odd if I dance with granny (80 years) and dek lek (5 years old) and my GF (30 years old), frankly all the females like to dance. Age never is a consideration.

In the West families don't party or dine together on a regular basis any more. In Thailand except for the Sh** holes where Western influence is becoming more pervasive like Bangkok and Phuket families still act like families.

Tomorrow I am going to the beach with the whole family and dinner and a concert after dinner. The ages range from 2 to 75 and everyone will have a good time and take photos and post them on face book. The teens won't be ashamed of dancing with the old Farang. I might even play the guitar on stage a bit.

It is changing. You only have to look at the Big Smoke (Bangkok) or the Big Joke (Phuket) to see the future. But for now life in the hinterlands is good and still respectful to us old codgers with one foot in the coffin.

[edwinclapham]

Great post Kerry, never a truer word said!

[lovetotravel]

I agree with your observations. Asia in general has a deep respect for older people. Which is great for us!

I was talking with my brother a few days ago, he lives in the US. He went out with his girl friend's daughter and BF to a club. He said it was so bizzare, he was the oldest one there. He kept getting stares like "what are you doing here, old man". And he's only 52.

Thailand does have some advantages.

[kerryk]

I remember a woman in an American disco calling me Gramps. I think I was 40 at the time. Now I go to a club where people ask me to dance and they range in age from 20 to 60. It's a nice change.

[rinteln]

To your original post. Agreed.

Edited April 6, 2012 by rinteln

[submaniac]

I like the OP's post...it's a nice counter to all the whinging around here.

[richard_smith237]

In Thailand the very same respect for ones elders mirrors that which I received upon growing up in the UK.

If you are not making a dick of yourself, acting like Mr Money and parading your latest fluffer around like a showboating buffoon it is likely anyone and everyone around you will treat you with a genuine felt respect.

Thailand is a country where if you behave respectfully, politeness and general good will is almost universally dished out, elders in general receive the greatest of this benefit as they are generally better behaved than their youngster. Elders are also given by far a greater measure of the 'benefit of the doubt'.

And, I agree, it does depend where you are in Thailand.

[IanForbes]

How old and how western, Kerry? I've been around a long time and don't have any thoughts about leaving any time soon.

Colour film wasn't even invented when they took this photo of me.

[aussiebebe]

Aren't grandparents cherished and loved by their children and grandchildren in any country or culture the world over? What's the point of this thread?

As for acceptance, if you're bankrolling everyone's happiness, of course they'll love you; take a gander at photos of President Bush hugging,kissing and holding hands with Saudi leaders - that too is universal.

[kerryk]

Aren't grandparents cherished and loved by their children and grandchildren in any country or culture the world over? What's the point of this thread?

As for acceptance, if you're bankrolling everyone's happiness, of course they'll love you; take a gander at photos of President Bush hugging,kissing and holding hands with Saudi leaders - that too is universal.

You missed the point. You are not an old guy I take it.

No, it's not the same. In the West you are a grampa at 40. It's the youth culture. Families don't go to concerts together. Families don't go out dancing on a Friday night together.

It is not a matter of bankrolling everyone's happiness. Sometimes I pay but if we go out with a more senior more important person he pays.

Age was once upon a time respected in the West. If you are old you realize this. It still is in most parts of Thailand not Bangkok or Phuket.

So there are a number of things going for the old guy here. One is Thailand is still culturally 100 years behind the West in some things, respect of age being one of them and the Asian respect for ancestors thing.

Add that to the Asian religion stuff about old guys and it's a trifecta.

[IanForbes]

Aren't grandparents cherished and loved by their children and grandchildren in any country or culture the world over? What's the point of this thread?

No, they are not. They are only tolerated in many western families, and most often ignored. Kerry is correct about the young and the old being far more loving and friendly in Thailand ... away from Bangkok and the tourist centers like Pattaya and Phuket. I'm an old fart, even though I don't act it. I am asked by young Thai folks to join them all the time. The two Thai kids I've looked after for the past 10 years are always asking me to take them somewhere. They hold my hand when we walk... and it's THEIR choice. A Canadian or American teenager would NEVER be seen holding grampa's hand by choice. They don't even want to walk beside you if given a choice. And, don't even THINK of going to a concert together.

Edited April 6, 2012 by IanForbes

[pattayadingo]

if you are a grumpy, surly old git anywhere in the world people will treat you as such. Same if you are a young miserable, grumpy sod.

I agree with the OP's post that older folk here are more likely to be treated with respect if you engender that respect from your general attitude. More so out in the sticks where generations of family show deference and love towards older generations. And this is not all about money as some seem to believe.

As I have said before on other topics, I have been to parties, marriages, funerals, make monk and many other activities. I have been out with whole families to restaurants to buffets, clubs or on days out where everyone interacts together. The same applies at other peoples houses or simply all going out in the truck to the market.

The attitude of the family as a whole is different here. Everyone mucks in together, parties together, are happy together. You are not looked upon as some old degenerate.

I do miss life out in the sticks here in Thailand where it is a social family atmosphere and that is something that is now sadly lacking back home. Not because my son and his wife or the grandchildren do not love me, more because the way of life back home has degenerated into a free for all where each has to look after their own to survive in many ways, where they no longer seem to have the time for us older, often wiser, folks.

Life can be great out there in the sticks. Maybe some more of you ought to try to spend some genuine time out there and get to know the real Thai family life instead of living it up in Bangkok, Phuket and Pattaya, then you might understand where the OP is coming from.

[pmarlin]

I remember a woman in an American disco calling me Gramps. I think I was 40 at the time. Now I go to a club where people ask me to dance and they range in age from 20 to 60. It's a nice change.

"Papa" seems to be popular.

[IanForbes]

I remember a woman in an American disco calling me Gramps. I think I was 40 at the time. Now I go to a club where people ask me to dance and they range in age from 20 to 60. It's a nice change.

"Papa" seems to be popular.

Papa "IS" popular. I know a couple of bar owners in Chiang Mai who are loved by their staff. It's very easy to see the affection shown in many subtle ways. Both these particular men are called Pappa. And, it goes both way. Each man treats his staff with respect, and more like personal friends than staff.

[jaideecm]

Here in north Thailand most people younger tahn I call me "Lueng" or Uncle even if they are not family. A nice way to show respect.

[Beetlejuice]

What our kerryk says is true to a point, but it still depends.

All is fine providing these farangs that suddenly decide to park themselves in Thailand can adapt to Thai culture and ways of the people, keep within the laws and do not expect a yes massah approach from the Thais.

Unfortunately from my experience and what I have witnessed over the years many seem unable to follow these golden rules and often end up in conflicts with they’re Thai neighbors or having to frequently peer over their shoulders because they are contravening one law or another.

Not a big problem in moderation but as more and more of the West’s less wealthier citizens begin pouring into the country, believing that they are onto a good thing because their mates have told them it is cheap, more relaxed and more able to keep a low profile here, then their activities begin to attract the attentions of the Thai authorities and can bring in tighter Immigration restrictions onto all of us.

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

[473geo]

Strangers young and old usually return my smile in Thailand, not so in some other places

I do agree in Thailand children are taught to respect their elders....which to a point is good but can also be a block on development

But for sure the times are upon us when the young will be closed to communication, don their headphones, drowning in their own non interactive low contact world

Ian: I didn't realise you knew Jing back then!!

[loong]

What our kerryk says is true to a point, but it still depends.

All is fine providing these farangs that suddenly decide to park themselves in Thailand can adapt to Thai culture and ways of the people, keep within the laws and do not expect a yes massah approach from the Thais.

Unfortunately from my experience and what I have witnessed over the years many seem unable to follow these golden rules and often end up in conflicts with they’re Thai neighbors or having to frequently peer over their shoulders because they are contravening one law or another.

Not a big problem in moderation but as more and more of the West’s less wealthier citizens begin pouring into the country, believing that they are onto a good thing because their mates have told them it is cheap, more relaxed and more able to keep a low profile here, then their activities begin to attract the attentions of the Thai authorities and can bring in tighter Immigration restrictions onto all of us.

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

A very nice post from the OP.

What does Beetlejuice's reply have to do with the topic? - nothing

Why do some posters have to keep introducing meaningless diatribe aimed at nobody in particular.

[yermanee]

Fantastic topic, thanks to OP for posting it.

To give just one example, at Songkran the whole family comes to show their respect to me, i.e. wish me sawatdee pimai, and they throw some rose scented water over my hands and shoulder. That's respect and the only thing I like about songkran.

Unfortunately it's a big family so I'm soaked at the end of it all but I love it !

In my home country I'm just an old fart who doesn't know the latest trends in music, fashion etc.

Well done Kerryk !

Yermanee

Edited April 6, 2012 by yermanee

[IanForbes]

Strangers young and old usually return my smile in Thailand, not so in some other places

I do agree in Thailand children are taught to respect their elders....which to a point is good but can also be a block on development

But for sure the times are upon us when the young will be closed to communication, don their headphones, drowning in their own non interactive low contact world

Ian: I didn't realise you knew Jing back then!!

That ain't Jing, it's George Armstrong Custer.

But, you said a mouthfull when you mentioned Thai children and the coming modern world for them. Because Thai children are taught that everything an elder tells them is the gospel true there is a two part result. It makes them much more friendly to elders, but it also destroys their open minds in questioning reality.

[IanForbes]

What our kerryk says is true to a point, but it still depends.

All is fine providing these farangs that suddenly decide to park themselves in Thailand can adapt to Thai culture and ways of the people, keep within the laws and do not expect a yes massah approach from the Thais.

Unfortunately from my experience and what I have witnessed over the years many seem unable to follow these golden rules and often end up in conflicts with they’re Thai neighbors or having to frequently peer over their shoulders because they are contravening one law or another.

Not a big problem in moderation but as more and more of the West’s less wealthier citizens begin pouring into the country, believing that they are onto a good thing because their mates have told them it is cheap, more relaxed and more able to keep a low profile here, then their activities begin to attract the attentions of the Thai authorities and can bring in tighter Immigration restrictions onto all of us.

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

A very nice post from the OP.

What does Beetlejuice's reply have to do with the topic? - nothing

Why do some posters have to keep introducing meaningless diatribe aimed at nobody in particular.

I disagree. Beetlejuice's reply was well thought out and true. Many western louts come to Thailand and give other tourists a bad name. They treat the women working in bars and cafes like pieces of meat, and the backlash is the women treat the sexpats like a sucker that should be fleeced. It's a two way street.

[473geo]

But are the older visitors fleeced with more respect?

[mauGR1]

But are the older visitors fleeced with more respect?

Of course

[Nignoy]

How old and how western, Kerry? I've been around a long time and don't have any thoughts about leaving any time soon.

Colour film wasn't even invented when they took this photo of me.

This was before 59 squadron flattened it and put in an airfield

[IanForbes]

This was before 59 squadron flattened it and put in an airfield

No they didn't. Those truly are the hills above the Little Bighorn River behind me.

Here are more modern photos...

I was down fishing the trout stream while George was above fighting the indians.

[Koratpat]

I am living here and my son just spent 6 months here. I am older and he is in his mid 20's.

I have to correct the title to - Thailand Really Likes Western Guys.

[kerryk]

I am living here and my son just spent 6 months here. I am older and he is in his mid 20's.

I have to correct the title to - Thailand Really Likes Western Guys.

I think you will find out as you live here longer that regardless of how much some web sites try and make fun of the old fellows with practical jokes and such that Thailand has skewed the entire expat experience in favor of old guys from Visa to marriage practices. Thai women are not stupid; they realize it is easier to have a relationship with an old fellow than a young one and they take advantage of that fact.

[TommoPhysicist]

What our kerryk says is true to a point, but it still depends.

All is fine providing these farangs that suddenly decide to park themselves in Thailand can adapt to Thai culture and ways of the people, keep within the laws and do not expect a yes massah approach from the Thais.

Unfortunately from my experience and what I have witnessed over the years many seem unable to follow these golden rules and often end up in conflicts with they’re Thai neighbors or having to frequently peer over their shoulders because they are contravening one law or another.

Not a big problem in moderation but as more and more of the West’s less wealthier citizens begin pouring into the country, believing that they are onto a good thing because their mates have told them it is cheap, more relaxed and more able to keep a low profile here, then their activities begin to attract the attentions of the Thai authorities and can bring in tighter Immigration restrictions onto all of us.

I have no problems with those who abide by the laws, rules and regulations but unfortunately many here I consider as suspect and shady, so these sudden influxes of farangs into the provinces is not a good thing in my opinion and certainly not beneficial for the ex-pats that are already here.

A very nice post from the OP.

What does Beetlejuice's reply have to do with the topic? - nothing

Why do some posters have to keep introducing meaningless diatribe aimed at nobody in particular.

I disagree. Beetlejuice's reply was well thought out and true. Many western louts come to Thailand and give other tourists a bad name. They treat the women working in bars and cafes like pieces of meat, and the backlash is the women treat the sexpats like a sucker that should be fleeced. It's a two way street.

What happens in Pattaya (plus 3 more tourist places) does not reflect on foreigner behaviour in the majority of Thailand.

I doubt if there are even a dozen foreigners living in my province (Nan), let alone louts treating Thai women badly.

If you choose to live in a sewer, then you can expect to encounter rats.

Edited April 6, 2012 by TommoPhysicist

[Berkshire]

I am living here and my son just spent 6 months here. I am older and he is in his mid 20's.

I have to correct the title to - Thailand Really Likes Western Guys.

If this is true, why are there so many western guys complaining about racism? Sorry, just going through some of these other threads where the high-pitched whining/whinging was unbearable. But I'm with Kerry on this one. It may be good for the young guys, but it's great for the older guys.

[klikster]

Excellent post, kerryk! Pretty much reflects the experience I have had over the past 16 years.

However, I am jealous of your guitar playing skills.