As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

I only support my bf when he needs it. He won't let any of the family get within 500 yards of my wallet although I paid a hospital bill for his Mum and also made a major contribution towards his youngest brother's funeral (motocy accident )

Maybe I should look for a Farang BF

Khall, don't you sleep? A bit tipsy maybe?

Well Ol' Red eyes... I didn't wake up til 4pm today cos I been working 18/7 lately... but this question HAS been on my mind for a long time....

What do you lot reckon anyway? All comments welcome

I speak as a complete outsider but could it be because "western female partners" insist upon being 50% of a working relationship rather than a part of what could possibly called a more 'traditional' relationship where the woman does the 'stopping at home' bit while the man does the 'going hunting' bit? And no, this isn't meant to be offensive or a wind-up.

Are you sure the same ones complaining about western females working are the same ones who expected their ex farang wives to work?

If so, seems a bit hypocritical. Otherwise, could be different people with different ideas.

I wouldn't enter into a relationship if supporting the entire family was part of the bargain.

In my case, everyone in the family is gainfully employed. Ms. B's folks run a small retail store and are there 15 hours a day, seven days a week. All four of her siblings and their spouses are employed, except for one spouse who is a recent college graduate doing work experience.

I do pay more than my share of the household bills, but that is in lieu of rent.

I don't support anyone except us and I wouldn't have it any other way.

That said, if anyone in the family was in dire need, I'd certainly help out and would expect (and certainly receive) the same in return.

Are you sure the same ones complaining about western females working are the same ones who expected their ex farang wives to work?

If so, seems a bit hypocritical. Otherwise, could be different people with different ideas.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes yes yes yes yes yes.... I've seen and heard it all here in the Land of Smiles.......... us same wenches who were meant to slave away and pay for the mortgage & the childrens education are now wondering how come we never had to worry after all!!

I do not, and never have, expected my wife to work, or not work. Not western, and not Eastern. Unless a rocky patch in the road required us both to draw the cart.

The fulfilment of your partners potential and non-destructive ambitions is paramount in any real relationship as far as I am concerned. Helping someone to fly, especially those close to you, is the only real value I can find in this rather pointless existance. Sometimes they fly away. So be it.

I am willing to financially support anybody who needs it, if I can, with a distinct proviso that the person/persons show a real commitment to fly by themselves. Lazy bloodsuckers, greedy goldiggers and the selfish I have no time for. Too often I find that most of these types hide behind a shield of 'culture', and other weak excuses designed to fool themselves and others. And before everybody has an attack, I'm not just talking about Thai or Eastern culture. You do yourself, and them, no favors in playing along.

Helping the greater society is something those that just want everything for their 'family' have to realise is absolutely essential if they really are concerned with their family. Their families do not operate in a vacuum. If society goes down the tubes, they will eventually be flushed along.

Are you sure the same ones complaining about western females working are the same ones who expected their ex farang wives to work?

If so, seems a bit hypocritical. Otherwise, could be different people with different ideas.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Yes yes yes yes yes yes.... I've seen and heard it all here in the Land of Smiles.......... us same wenches who were meant to slave away and pay for the mortgage & the childrens education are now wondering how come we never had to worry after all!!

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Couldn't agree more.....

But seriously, It really does amaze me how so many people are so quick to give money at the slightest hint of a problem.

marriage is a two way thing.I don't give a rats fat ar$e of what Thai culture is, if a Thai women can't understand mine.I firmly believe that if any relationship is too one sided, then it will either fail or one partner is happy with less than 50%.

I wonder how happy some Thai people would be with sending money to their spouses family, knowing that the money was comming out of their own little pot.

marriage is a two way thing.I don't give a rats fat ar$e of what Thai culture is, if a Thai women can't understand mine.I firmly believe that if any relationship is too one sided, then it will either fail or one partner is happy with less than 50%.

Chuchok, some of the best cross cultural marriage advice I have heard yet. I have always believed that a partner who is not interested in your culture and your life at home is not truly interested in you.

As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

Actually in my case it's really quite simple. I provide my girlfriend with a fixed allowance (500 baht/day) which she's free to do with as she pleases. As I also pay for food, rent, utilities, clothing (Pratunam), an occasional phone card, movies and other entertainment, her kaw neeo fix, and female crap (lotion, powder, cream and more lotion, powder, cream) the intent is that money should go into pure savings.

Unfortunately she also let slip to her family about the allowance, and the amount, and they, particularly her father, have steadily drained it from her almost as fast as I've given it to her! She's now finally gotten it into her head to put them on an allowance! She's told her father she'll only give him 4000 baht a month, paid fortnightly. Hopefully she'll start building up a savings now.

As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

True, but I've always expected to be a partner with my partner, building a life together. These guys at least "say" that they want traditional partners. They want women who are totally economically dependent.

My big thing about this is that in the West, most women have been ingrained not to rush a man to commitment. We are trained not to say the "L" word, and to give him enough space for at least 3 months. And by space, it is mostly meant that you have to be careful of rushing the girlfriend/boyfriend label.

And then they come out here, and they are engaged, married, or have a baby on the way within 3 months Well, in terms of the baby, they're not always the one deciding, are they

Micael W:

"I also pay for food... and female crap (lotion, powder, cream and more lotion, powder, cream)"

But to be perfectly honest, I find it a bit infantilizing to take care of a grown person who is totally dependent for all of her needs. I mean no disrespect, but I've also found on many occassions that it is almost impossible to have an "adult" conversation with some of these women when they are out with their (farang) men, because the guys start behaving as if they must shield her from every single comment that has not been tailor made for her ears; fcking ridiculous.

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by kat

Micael W:

"I also pay for food... and female crap (lotion, powder, cream and more lotion, powder, cream)"

But to be perfectly honest, I find it a bit infantilizing to take care of a grown person who is totally dependent for all of her needs. I mean no disrespect, but I've also found on many occassions that it is almost impossible to have an "adult" conversation with some of these women when they are out with their (farang) men, because the guys start behaving as if they must shield her from every single comment that has not been tailor made for her ears; fcking ridiculous.

Well, I can only speak for the relationship I'm in, and as my girlfriend pretty much runs the apartment in terms of deciding what groceries to buy and what we'll be eating that night to what clothes I'll be wearing, I'd hardly call her infantile in that regard. And as far as how she gets on with parents, family and friends, well it's all in Lao Isaan so I can't relate a lot of detail except she can be quite firm when the occasion warrants. Also, my feeling about the allowance I provide her is to in fact instill and nurture independence in her, for, again, the money I give her is entirely her's to decide how to use, including to provide for her to a degree if and when we ever break up.

Yes, I understand your point Michael W. As I said before, I mean no disrespect. You are entitled to live your life as you see fit. I simply would like to have an honest discussion.

Here's the thing: I've seen men give these women their wallets, as if that is some big symbol or recognition of the woman's "independence". To me, that is such an incredibly condescending joke. It's HIS wallet, and HIS money, as well as his decision to give her money. There is no way anyone will become independent by the learned and total dependence on another. In many ways, I view this total dependence as a delay for women here to advance society to the point where they have full legal and economic rights.

People who are fully empowered learn to empower themselves in the process of their own empowerment -- a tongue twister, I know. Basically, people gain valuable skills and knowledge in the process of their own emancipation, which enables them to be successful in the realization of that emancipation.

*Edit - And I want to add something here, which I am just remembering although it occurred awhile ago, before I even came to Thailand, or knew anything about it. I was working in my university office as a student, for extra income. At the time, this 50ish man comes walking in with a Thai woman about 15 years younger (he mentioned her nationality otherwise I wouldn't have known back then), and he starts asking about the program, what do international students need to do, where she went to university prior, etc. Basically, this guy walks into a competitive university program, and proceeds to do all the talking for her -- not one peep out of her the whole time. Then on the way out, this woman proceeds to give me one of those "looks" that I often get from women like her here, and I thought - &lt;deleted&gt;, is he going to do her fcking papers for her?

At any rate, this is a bit off topic, but it is an example of going through the motions of change, but not really being changed by the experience, when you should be, for the better.

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by kat

But to be perfectly honest, I find it a bit infantilizing to take care of a grown person who is totally dependent for all of her needs. I mean no disrespect, but I've also found on many occassions that it is almost impossible to have an "adult" conversation with some of these women when they are out with their (farang) men, because the guys start behaving as if they must shield her from every single comment that has not been tailor made for her ears; fcking ridiculous.

No disrespect Kat... but I'd like to put you one-on-one with my Thai missus... and she does fall into your "totally dependent for all of her needs" category... although she doesn't get the whole wallet...

Money is a hard earned luxury here in Thailand, and as Michael W said... instilling independence in one's chosen gf/wife does realise certain perspectives.

I'm not arguing with you... but there is another viewpoint to consider...

And... you won't find me trying to defend or shield my better half... she can stand perfectly well on her own... and I'm proud of her for that.

It's HIS wallet, and HIS money, as well as his decision to give her money. There is no way anyone will become independent by the learned and total dependence on another. In many ways, I view this total dependence as a delay for women here to advance society to the point where they have full legal and economic rights.

With all respect Kat, I am in a European country in an area with very wealthy people/families. You should have a look in my neigbourhood where the Ladies drive their own Porsches, Range Rovers, Jaguars and Ferraris by the hundreds...(fact!). These 'Ladies' don't work, just hop over to bring the children to school, have lunch with their girlfriends, and do shopping in expensive shops and play Golf or Tennis with their private (You: handsome man...) Tennis-teacher.

But, they do have full legal and economic rights, they even vote ( ) AND live with HIS wallet and HIS money in HIS big villa and HIS creditcards.

Do you think they care..... about their 'rights'?*

Have you ever been to the south of France or maybe Marbella/Spain.....? It's really disgusting if you see the women/girls overthere including the men on their yachts, cars and show-off!

I have been all over the place but prefer Thailand; the people are so much more friendly and kind and let's not try to change the Thai culture and standards by our Western standards, please!

*the only time they 'use' their rights is when the husband has/found a 'Mia Noi'; than they will fight till the bitter end; and THAT happens all the time, also in Western countries...

LaoPo

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by LaoPo

No disrespect taken, gentlemen. JD, I hear your point, but I have considered this from multiple perspectives. I understand that you do what you have to do given the situation. And yes, money is a hard-earned luxury here in Thailand.

A gay friend explained it like this: by the time his boyfriend got home after working his 6-day a week, 10 hour a day job, plus travelling in city traffic, he just thought it was more wise to cut his losses and pay him an allownace so that he could see him. I understand the logistics, and the self-interests in this rationale. But in terms of what I was discussing in my prior post, I think it breeds a culture of dependence.

LP: I know that those women exist. It is so far removed from my life and most of the women whom I know and respect, that I often forget the "ladies who lunch". I think it is a disgusting display, but then again, that's a judgement, and it's their life. I think these women are in the minority however, and, you are not really sure where all of their money is from in every case.

As for judging Thailand by Western standards, please don't attempt to pull that one on me, ok? I said I wanted to have an HONEST discussion. What else shall we not judge by Western standards, human trafficking and the total lack of legal/economic rights for women here? C'mon

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by kat

I think these women are in the minority however, and, 1.you are not really sure where all of their money is from in every case.

2. As for judging Thailand by Western standards, please don't attempt to pull that one on me, ok? I said I wanted to have an HONEST discussion. What else shall we not judge by Western standards, human trafficking and the total lack of legal/economic rights for women here? C'mon

Kat, don't take it personal. It's not meant that way.

1. Sorry, but I am sure since I live in the middle of them and know hundreds of them; but that is not the point I think. They do have an 'empty' life and feel sorry for them.

2. Yes I feel that we Westerns/Farangs don't have the right to judge about 'Eastern' culture like Thailand/China. WHO do we think we are? Are we better than they are just because we have been raised in Western culture? Come on (your words).

We will never be able to change their culture and we better not even try.

What we think is completely different and yes, we can have an opinion, but the same opinion will always be based upon the education and lessons we learned from our own parents, in school/University and culture from the West.

My Chinese Lady is from a city which has now 6 million people; the same city was already the cleanest and most beautiful city in China when Marco Polo arrived (.... ) and they had 1 million people by than and already a sewer-system.....a system which had yet to be invented by cities as Paris and London which didn't even have more than 20.000 people back than.

Moral of this small story?

Let's not judge the 'East' and its culture by our standards because we will never be able to fully understand the culture, its logics and behaviours.

And, Kat, nothing personal.

LaoPo

"2. Yes I feel that we Westerns/Farangs don't have the right to judge about 'Eastern' culture like Thailand/China. WHO do we think we are? Are we better than they are just because we have been raised in Western culture? Come on (your words)."

No, I don't want to get into a slagging match, just a discussion. I have been walking around with these thoughts for awhile, and haven't really shared them.

Here's a genuine question and point that I'm working on inside my head currently:

This thing about not judging from Western standards, is that really possible in every case, and further, is it really desireable or even ethical, in every case? Do you think the tradition of honor killings or burning your wife, or torching an entire family for a female marrying outside of her caste for love, as is the case in some societies in India, is neutral because it's tradition? Or that the rape of young girls and women who have the disadvantage of having to work outside the home is beyond our judgement? I am fully aware of the atrocities that occur in my own societies and am critical of those as well. Change has occurred in these less than traditional societies because "traditions" were challenged. Also, India is an ancient civilization that was considered very advanced during the Gupta period as well.

In Thailand, do you think we should turn off our judgement when we see children selling themselves or sold to pedophiles by their own families, or generations of girls that are still turning to prostitution long after their families have achieved a semblance of economic freedom?

I'm struggling with these things, LP. I came here with no judgements at all, because I didn't know anything. Now, I at least try to fully understand those things which I feel I want to judge. And after it is all said and done, after I learn fully about the situation of which I suspended my judgement, I feel that some things are clearly wrong.

So sue me

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by kat

Here's a genuine question and point that I'm working on inside my head currently:

This thing about not judging from Western standards, is that really possible in every case, and further, is it really desireable or even ethical, in every case? Do you think the tradition of honor killings or burning your wife, or torching an entire family for a female marrying outside of her caste for love, as is the case in some societies in India, is neutral because it's tradition? Or that the rape of young girls and women who have the disadvantage of having to work outside the home is beyond our judgement? I am fully aware of the atrocities that occur in my own societies and am critical of those as well. Change has occurred in these less than traditional societies because "traditions" were challenged. Also, India is an ancient civilization that was considered very advanced during the Gupta period as well.

In Thailand, do you think we should turn off our judgement when we see children selling themselves or sold to pedophiles by their own families, or generations of girls that are still turning to prostitution long after their families have achieved a semblance of economic freedom?

I'm struggling with these things, LP. I came here with no judgements at all, because I didn't know anything. Now, I at least try to fully understand those things which I feel I want to judge. And after it is all said and done, after I learn fully about the situation of which I suspended my judgement, I feel that some things are clearly wrong.

So sue me

You're quite a Lady, Kat, and that's a compliment!

1. You have some very, sorry, extremely strong point here and yes I agree with you that the cases you describe are indeed disgusting and horrible. You made a strong point here and I'm a man enough to admit that you're right here.

Of course I agree with you that the horrible 'kind-of-culture'/tradition things you describe should be banned by their own governments and culture and -important- the intelligent upper class- in those countries! (there was a documentary just 2 days ago about 13 (!) years old girls, raised in Europe but born-Turkish who were forced into marriage by their own parents).

I agree that you must have been struggling with these 'culture' traditional cases in those countries. I am too, as many will be.

2. Also, what LOS is concerned: On my first trip ever to Thailand I saw 2 very old guys in BKK having lunch; next table to them was an old 'woman' with 2 extremely young girls, 12, 13, maybe younger; I don't know. Very odd situation in my 'western' eyes. The guys didn't even look upon them. Lunch finished; and the 'woman' sent the girls to follow them........ I was speechless.

I asked around and the owner told me the guys had ordered 2 virgins.... The question remains: who was that 'woman'...trader, mother, grandmother? I don't know but it was my first 'culture' shock in the Far East. |Many followed I can tell you.

Later, some Thai people took me (didn't know where we were going) into the 'slams/gutters' of Phuket-town were I saw young girls 'chained--to-their-beds'... I ran out and couldn't believe it. It was a very scary neigbourhood and I doubt if there had ever been a farang before...2 years later the complete Soi burned down to the ground...many girls (over 30 as I recall) died.

Yes, I agree with you that these things MUST and SHOULD change.

I think just the governments can change these horrible situations, but, you're right with your thinking, maybe with the help and PROTEST of organizations like the UN.

I'm afraid we can't change much but we can try.

Thanks for your insight; it's going completely off-topic, but hope anyone will understand.

LaoPo

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by LaoPo

As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

I speak as a complete outsider but could it be because "western female partners" insist upon being 50% of a working relationship rather than a part of what could possibly called a more 'traditional' relationship where the woman does the 'stopping at home' bit while the man does the 'going hunting' bit? And no, this isn't meant to be offensive or a wind-up.

I have so many resposnes on the edge of my tongue. I shall however, hold my peace, as I like Khall and I don´t want her to get angry with me.

I did quote endure as perhaps there is a point I can see in this response.

What was that about burning wives...?

As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

I do it for the missus because I love her and I CAN do it, without raising a sweat and it's so she can stick to a part time job she actualy likes and is good for her, rather than having to work 55/60 hours a week for a lot less. She is also a childless orphan with only a couple of elder brothers (yes, they are brothers! ) - which makes things cheaper.

It costs about the same as the money I spend on cigarettes in Farangland, (but I will concede that I do smoke a bit more than average!). But still less money each month than I used to spend EACH Weekend going out and about of an evening (or a heavy Friday night ). I ain't rich by any means, but the money is all relative.

If I was that bothered about the amount involved, I would stop.

Kat,

An interesting and thought provoking couple of posts.

IME women are all different and want and NEED different things from a marriage / long term relationship, although obviously for many Thai woman the financial side of the arrangement (even if "only" for security rather than pure greed / laziness) is likely to be more important than in the west - where women have more options than their Thai counterparts - but the pure greed / laziness is not exactly unknown in the west, even if dressed up with other words.

If a woman wants to stay at home / doesn't want to work 35 or 60 hours a week and the bloke is willing to support her - then fair enough. The basic fact of life is that in Thailand (for a Farang) this is something which is still financially an option, whereas for many back in Farangland it just isn't. The wife HAS to work. Therefore both working just seems more popular.

In my case I am more inclined towards the "it's good for her to work" - as I have never been exactly comfortable with the concept of supporting someone who is capable of supporting themselves / contributing financially to the household.............I am doing it to a small degree in Thaland as a stepping stone, but in Farangland it becomes "real" money, so once she is up to speed with her language skills, off to work she will be going - even if at first it is a Mcjob. Apart from "giving" her financial inpendence, it will be good for her, me.......... and "us".

Besides she can't even cook - let alone much else domestically - so no point me trying to make her stay at home even if I wanted to

Well I am going to post myself experience...

I lived 4 years with my ex-boyfriend in farangland

I was working, study my degree and taking flamenco classes...I also did some of the housework

He just worked

Working:I needed money because he never mentioned to sustain me financially...

My degree: Well I like animals and plants so study ecology, for me was like something that I always wanted to do.

Flamenco: Well flamenco is my passion...I start dancing ballet when I was 5 years old...I dropped but I always danced in my room coping Madonna, Michael Jackson and some other famous people coreography... six years ago I started with my flamenco dancing and i don´t think i could give up now...I dance because I can´t live without dancing...If any one will stop me from dancing I will wilt like a flower without water...

Once he said " your degree and your flamenco dancing is more important than me"-of course it was not true...

I felt guilty for a while...

My relationship end up because after all these years he wasn´t sure if want to commit himself with the relationship...he then when to Mexico and blah,blah...

If i would have stopped to do all the things mentioned above when he complained of my little dreams (the two mentioned above) being more important than him I would have got nothing after four years...I would have put my dreams aside for a guy who at the end of the day could not commit him to our relationship...

I don´t mean that every man is going to behave like that but this experience showed me that my independence and my dreams are very important . So is my partner...very important that´s why I will not stop anybody to follow their dreams...and that is because i love ...

You can be in a relationship and fullfill your dreams if your partner is sure about your feelings towards him...

I want a traditional-modern relationship...were I can grow as a self independent being and at the same time share my love, my dreams and passion with the person I love...

if I ever have a child with the person I love I hope we can work and fight together to fullfill our wishes and bring up our child by our own...(no nannies)

This is what my experience has showed me and a behave under the things i have learned...

Edited January 11, 200620 yr by Glauka

...my 2 cent...

...I don't want to support financially noone, Thai or falan....why do that???...

...I really never understood why so many people do that....

...but, obviously, everyone is free to do what want...but...nothing better to do with money than support someone else????

...I have much more ideas....

...my 2 cent...

...I don't want to support financially noone, Thai or falan....why do that???...

...I really never understood why so many people do that....

...but, obviously, everyone is free to do what want...but...nothing better to do with money than support someone else????

...I have much more ideas....

I'm so curious, please share your ideas?! You have 'good heart'!

LaoPo

You're quite a Lady, Kat, and that's a compliment!

... The guys didn't even look upon them. Lunch finished; and the 'woman' sent the girls to follow them........ I was speechless.

I asked around and the owner told me the guys had ordered 2 virgins.... The question remains: who was that 'woman'...trader, mother, grandmother? I don't know but it was my first 'culture' shock in the Far East. |Many followed I can tell you.

Later, some Thai people took me (didn't know where we were going) into the 'slams/gutters' of Phuket-town were I saw young girls 'chained--to-their-beds'... I ran out and couldn't believe it. It was a very scary neigbourhood and I doubt if there had ever been a farang before...2 years later the complete Soi burned down to the ground...many girls (over 30 as I recall) died.

Yes, I agree with you that these things MUST and SHOULD change.

I think just the governments can change these horrible situations, but, you're right with your thinking, maybe with the help and PROTEST of organizations like the UN.

I'm afraid we can't change much but we can try.

Thanks for your insight; it's going completely off-topic, but hope anyone will understand.

LaoPo

Thanks for your insights as well. I think you saw one of the infamous brothels that dealt in trafficked girls. I've heard about this fire before.

I know exactly what you mean when you say governments and the middle class of the countries. I used to feel that way as an activist, but now as a trained development professional, I see how these traditions stunt not only the country in question, but surrounding countries and vulnerable populations. In Thailand, the most vulnerable people don't even have state identities. That means they can be arrested if they leave an approximately 10-20 kilometer area around their house.

I now believe that these things need to be confronted by outsiders, because the national population and especially the middle-class either don't care, or benefit. Maybe this is not politically correct, but non-confrontation and non-intervention of gross human rights is not a value of mine nor the rest of the world, especially those who need someone to intervene. *I think the key is to know how to intervene so that it is relevant for the people involved.

... It costs about the same as the money I spend on cigarettes in Farangland, (but I will concede that I do smoke a bit more than average!). But still less money each month than I used to spend EACH Weekend going out and about of an evening (or a heavy Friday night ). I ain't rich by any means, but the money is all relative.

If I was that bothered about the amount involved, I would stop.

Kat,

An interesting and thought provoking couple of posts.

IME women are all different and want and NEED different things from a marriage / long term relationship, although obviously for many Thai woman the financial side of the arrangement (even if "only" for security rather than pure greed / laziness) is likely to be more important than in the west - where women have more options than their Thai counterparts - but the pure greed / laziness is not exactly unknown in the west, even if dressed up with other words.

If a woman wants to stay at home / doesn't want to work 35 or 60 hours a week and the bloke is willing to support her - then fair enough. The basic fact of life is that in Thailand (for a Farang) this is something which is still financially an option, whereas for many back in Farangland it just isn't. The wife HAS to work. Therefore both working just seems more popular.

In my case I am more inclined towards the "it's good for her to work" - as I have never been exactly comfortable with the concept of supporting someone who is capable of supporting themselves / contributing financially to the household.............I am doing it to a small degree in Thaland as a stepping stone, but in Farangland it becomes "real" money, so once she is up to speed with her language skills, off to work she will be going - even if at first it is a Mcjob. Apart from "giving" her financial inpendence, it will be good for her, me.......... and "us".

Besides she can't even cook - let alone much else domestically - so no point me trying to make her stay at home even if I wanted to

Yeah, I hear your points as well, Jersey

Edited January 12, 200620 yr by kat

HUSBAND OF THE YEAR AWARD......

Ah, the Irish are true romantics.

(At least he's holding her hand )

As a result of many threads on this forum, I'm just wondering how come so many of you guys are so willing to financially support Thai women & their ENTIRE families when you were so adamant that your previous western female partners had to go out to work and contribute to the debt-ridden society that you had become so accustomed to...... and now you can't stand a bar of us?

I speak as a complete outsider but could it be because "western female partners" insist upon being 50% of a working relationship rather than a part of what could possibly called a more 'traditional' relationship where the woman does the 'stopping at home' bit while the man does the 'going hunting' bit? And no, this isn't meant to be offensive or a wind-up.

I have so many resposnes on the edge of my tongue. I shall however, hold my peace, as I like Khall and I don´t want her to get angry with me.

I did quote endure as perhaps there is a point I can see in this response.

What was that about burning wives...?

You wouldn't make me angry Kayo - unlike a few other chauvinists on this forum. This is not necessarily my own opinion, I posted the topic to create discussion as it is something I have wondered about. I have never put myself in a situation where I needed to be supported and like Glauka says: women need to create their own lives, we cannot expect to be taken care of and why should we?

So feel free to say what's on the tip of your tongue, Klown!

And Endure, in most "traditional" relationships the woman 'gathered' while the men 'hunted' -no such thing as a stay at home wife.