How To Use A Toilet In Thailand

[BuffaloRescue]

How are you meant to use a squat toilet? Can someone please explain to me how you are meant to use a squat toilet without getting your trousers soaking wet as there appears to be nowhere to hang them? Do you remove only one leg or maybe tie them around your waist? And the big question is how exactly do you clean yourself with a plastic saucepan? Are you meant to use it to scrape the poo off your bum and then slosh water over yourself? I tried that but it didnt seem to work. Otherwise clean yourself using your hand and by pouring water.. and then how are you meant to clean your hand?

Here are some Thailand Toilet Instructions http://www.gogoflorist.com/blog/2012/05/how-to-use-toilet-in-thailand/

[thaicbr]

How are you meant to use a squat toilet? Can someone please explain to me how you are meant to use a squat toilet without getting your trousers soaking wet as there appears to be nowhere to hang them? Do you remove only one leg or maybe tie them around your waist? And the big question is how exactly do you clean yourself with a plastic saucepan? Are you meant to use it to scrape the poo off your bum and then slosh water over yourself? I tried that but it didnt seem to work. Otherwise clean yourself using your hand and by pouring water.. and then how are you meant to clean your hand?

Here are some Thailand Toilet Instructions http://www.gogoflorist.com/blog/2012/05/how-to-use-toilet-in-thailand/

Ummm use toilet paper to wipe your arse. And the water to flush the toilet ... dohhh

sent from my Wellcom A90+

[barefoot1988]

toilet are a terror here, not only did they toughen up my calves but plentiful are without proper rolls and even water. I once had a nasty experience without any rolls or water, had to use my freaking socks in the end. Never once in my life i would crap without triple checking anymore.

anyway i could never master the skills of using a water hose as my usually came out watery and using a hose simply splash all the stains around

its really strange, arse wiping stuff are all around the dam_n dining table here but not in the toilet. got quite a shocker when i see toliet rolls all around dining tables

[BuffaloRescue]

Maybe they just use their hand to clean their bum and the water to wash their hand and the toilet paper to clean their hand

[BigJohnnyBKK]

Allow me

[CiaranO]

Allow me

love it.......

[FarangSerbia]

I took this picture 2 years ago in Koh Lanta, might be useful

From what I remember:

go to toilet like the locals do.

it's not dirty or disgusting, but actually

very clean. Just get used to it

1. Cant remember

2. Do what you came for in the first place

3. take the bowl with your right hand and pour it down your lower back

4. pour the water down your lower back, it will find it's way down

5. use three fingers of your left hand with water to wash away anything left

6. flush the toilet and leave it as you would like to find it

7. wash your hands

[PingManDan]

We need pictures of your experience LOL now you know why they say "Amazing Thailand" on their travel brochures.

[prefabs]

An ancestor of this thread ran for ages and was the funniest I ever saw on TV. Personally, and only ever at gas stations, I have had to adopt the "off with the trousers and underpants" method. Have learned over the time I have been here that a toilet roll is an essential piece of motoring equipment.

Nave a sneaking respect for PTT stations cos they appear to try to reach a standard of cleanliness.

I am lucky that I have never had to use the facilities anywhere exccept gas stations though. One waitress in Pattaya carefully explained to me that when she took her rather large Swedish boyfriend home to see her mother, then if he needed to defecate, then she always had to accompany him to balance and support him as he squatted. As I remember, she would hold his head as he squatted. No idea if her help stretched to hosing his arse though

[ozzieovaseas]

So is it a full moon tonight? they just keep getting better and better

HINT: About the not having anywhere to hang your pants issue..If you pull your belt buckle loose you can nearly always find somewhere/something to hook your beltbuckle over..

If all else fails simply pull your pants over your head and tighten belt around neck with increasing pressure...

do this and i personally guarantee you will have no more problems on how to do your do doos

[endure]

http://migrationology.com/2011/08/how-to-use-a-squat-toilet-like-a-pro/

[tinfoilhat]

honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you?

[ozzieovaseas]

Never in my life would i have imagined there was so much internet content on this issue.

Now if only someone could tell me why my Thai GF chastises me for using the spray gun to wash the vegetables

[cooked]

well my knees are completely f***ed and my ankles are going the same way. Apart from that, these are the toilets that food and vegetable vendors use. I don't like 'em!

[travelmann]

and just remember the food vendors do the same...................hmmmmmmm wonder how thorough the hand washing is? I find wiping yer arse with fingers pretty disgusting mainly as fingers go into everything afterwards, by keeping the sh*t off your fingers you avoid any problems completely.

[Jake829]

Allow me

love it.......

Lol

[rod2011]

My girlfriend has installed a Western toilet in her new house rather than a squat toilet. I just love her so much for that

[Rooo]

[Pseudolus]

@OP - Hang your trousers round your neck, with socks and pants in your pocket. Keep your shoes on though to avoid some nasties on your tootsies.

[kevjohn]

We need pictures of your experience LOL now you know why they say "Amazing Thailand" on their travel brochures.

Do these travel brochures include instrutions on " How to use an Amazing Thailand Loo".....

[kevjohn]

My girlfriend has installed a Western toilet in her new house rather than a squat toilet. I just love her so much for that

Love knows no bounds........

[kevjohn]

@OP - Hang your trousers round your neck, with socks and pants in your pocket. Keep your shoes on though to avoid some nasties on your tootsies.

Very difficult to get that sock out, when you need it.......

[KeyserSoze01]

honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you?

Because it a totally foreign concept to most westerners. How many westerners can squat like asians do every day? Not many. Then while squatting and maintaining your balance, you have to squeeze out a mud turtle. Hell, most westerners have problems evacuating the mud turtle while sitting down, much less while squatting and maintaining their balance. That's having to concentrate on three things at one time and in this day and age where most people have the attention span of a gnat, that's asking a lot. So, at this point the novice squat toilet user who has just pinched a loaf, still squatting and not falling in the bowl, now has to balance a water bowl while pouring water down his crack while flicking dingleberries with his left had. Now that's four things he has to do at one time. Squat, balance, pour and flick all at the same time. Surely here is where the poor farang looses it, slips, falls in the bowl, then posts a thread on TV asking just how to use a squat toilet.

[KeyserSoze01]

If you have a hitch on your vehicle, here's an attachment to put you right.

[Slip]

honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you?

Because it a totally foreign concept to most westerners. How many westerners can squat like asians do every day? Not many. Then while squatting and maintaining your balance, you have to squeeze out a mud turtle. Hell, most westerners have problems evacuating the mud turtle while sitting down, much less while squatting and maintaining their balance. That's having to concentrate on three things at one time and in this day and age where most people have the attention span of a gnat, that's asking a lot. So, at this point the novice squat toilet user who has just pinched a loaf, still squatting and not falling in the bowl, now has to balance a water bowl while pouring water down his crack while flicking dingleberries with his left had. Now that's four things he has to do at one time. Squat, balance, pour and flick all at the same time. Surely here is where the poor farang looses it, slips, falls in the bowl, then posts a thread on TV asking just how to use a squat toilet.

Add to the above 'doing it all on a moving train' and you have a sure recipe for disaster (as can be witnessed from time to time).

[MiG16]

Closed

[samsiam]

If there is no toilet paper...how do you dry your lower back ??

[Disander]

Great thread. I haven't laughed this hard for some time now!

[kevjohn]

If there is no toilet paper...how do you dry your lower back ??

From my calculations, the distance from your neck to your lower back would be shorter than the length of your trouser leg....

[samsiam]

I had to use a Tie once...was not mine, I dun own one....found it hanging on the back of the door....used it in a back and forth sawing motion.....think it made it worse than better.....the tie itself certainly was worse for wear as i hung it back on the door in case the owner returned.