BuffaloRescue Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 How are you meant to use a squat toilet? Can someone please explain to me how you are meant to use a squat toilet without getting your trousers soaking wet as there appears to be nowhere to hang them? Do you remove only one leg or maybe tie them around your waist? And the big question is how exactly do you clean yourself with a plastic saucepan? Are you meant to use it to scrape the poo off your bum and then slosh water over yourself? I tried that but it didnt seem to work. Otherwise clean yourself using your hand and by pouring water.. and then how are you meant to clean your hand? Here are some Thailand Toilet Instructions http://www.gogoflorist.com/blog/2012/05/how-to-use-toilet-in-thailand/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thaicbr Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 How are you meant to use a squat toilet? Can someone please explain to me how you are meant to use a squat toilet without getting your trousers soaking wet as there appears to be nowhere to hang them? Do you remove only one leg or maybe tie them around your waist? And the big question is how exactly do you clean yourself with a plastic saucepan? Are you meant to use it to scrape the poo off your bum and then slosh water over yourself? I tried that but it didnt seem to work. Otherwise clean yourself using your hand and by pouring water.. and then how are you meant to clean your hand?Here are some Thailand Toilet Instructions http://www.gogoflorist.com/blog/2012/05/how-to-use-toilet-in-thailand/ Ummm use toilet paper to wipe your arse. And the water to flush the toilet ... dohhh sent from my Wellcom A90+ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
barefoot1988 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 toilet are a terror here, not only did they toughen up my calves but plentiful are without proper rolls and even water. I once had a nasty experience without any rolls or water, had to use my freaking socks in the end. Never once in my life i would crap without triple checking anymore. anyway i could never master the skills of using a water hose as my usually came out watery and using a hose simply splash all the stains around its really strange, arse wiping stuff are all around the dam_n dining table here but not in the toilet. got quite a shocker when i see toliet rolls all around dining tables Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BuffaloRescue Posted May 19, 2012 Author Share Posted May 19, 2012 Maybe they just use their hand to clean their bum and the water to wash their hand and the toilet paper to clean their hand 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigJohnnyBKK Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Allow me 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CiaranO Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Allow me love it....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FarangSerbia Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 I took this picture 2 years ago in Koh Lanta, might be useful From what I remember: go to toilet like the locals do. it's not dirty or disgusting, but actually very clean. Just get used to it 1. Cant remember 2. Do what you came for in the first place 3. take the bowl with your right hand and pour it down your lower back 4. pour the water down your lower back, it will find it's way down 5. use three fingers of your left hand with water to wash away anything left 6. flush the toilet and leave it as you would like to find it 7. wash your hands Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PingManDan Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 We need pictures of your experience LOL now you know why they say "Amazing Thailand" on their travel brochures. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prefabs Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 An ancestor of this thread ran for ages and was the funniest I ever saw on TV. Personally, and only ever at gas stations, I have had to adopt the "off with the trousers and underpants" method. Have learned over the time I have been here that a toilet roll is an essential piece of motoring equipment. Nave a sneaking respect for PTT stations cos they appear to try to reach a standard of cleanliness. I am lucky that I have never had to use the facilities anywhere exccept gas stations though. One waitress in Pattaya carefully explained to me that when she took her rather large Swedish boyfriend home to see her mother, then if he needed to defecate, then she always had to accompany him to balance and support him as he squatted. As I remember, she would hold his head as he squatted. No idea if her help stretched to hosing his arse though Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post ozzieovaseas Posted May 19, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 19, 2012 So is it a full moon tonight? they just keep getting better and better HINT: About the not having anywhere to hang your pants issue..If you pull your belt buckle loose you can nearly always find somewhere/something to hook your beltbuckle over.. If all else fails simply pull your pants over your head and tighten belt around neck with increasing pressure... do this and i personally guarantee you will have no more problems on how to do your do doos 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
endure Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 http://migrationology.com/2011/08/how-to-use-a-squat-toilet-like-a-pro/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tinfoilhat Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ozzieovaseas Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Never in my life would i have imagined there was so much internet content on this issue. Now if only someone could tell me why my Thai GF chastises me for using the spray gun to wash the vegetables Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooked Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 well my knees are completely f***ed and my ankles are going the same way. Apart from that, these are the toilets that food and vegetable vendors use. I don't like 'em! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
travelmann Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 and just remember the food vendors do the same...................hmmmmmmm wonder how thorough the hand washing is? I find wiping yer arse with fingers pretty disgusting mainly as fingers go into everything afterwards, by keeping the sh*t off your fingers you avoid any problems completely. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake829 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 Allow me love it....... Lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod2011 Posted May 19, 2012 Share Posted May 19, 2012 My girlfriend has installed a Western toilet in her new house rather than a squat toilet. I just love her so much for that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Rooo Posted May 20, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2012 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pseudolus Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 @OP - Hang your trousers round your neck, with socks and pants in your pocket. Keep your shoes on though to avoid some nasties on your tootsies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevjohn Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 We need pictures of your experience LOL now you know why they say "Amazing Thailand" on their travel brochures. Do these travel brochures include instrutions on " How to use an Amazing Thailand Loo"..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevjohn Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 My girlfriend has installed a Western toilet in her new house rather than a squat toilet. I just love her so much for that Love knows no bounds........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevjohn Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 @OP - Hang your trousers round your neck, with socks and pants in your pocket. Keep your shoes on though to avoid some nasties on your tootsies. Very difficult to get that sock out, when you need it....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post KeyserSoze01 Posted May 20, 2012 Popular Post Share Posted May 20, 2012 honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you? Because it a totally foreign concept to most westerners. How many westerners can squat like asians do every day? Not many. Then while squatting and maintaining your balance, you have to squeeze out a mud turtle. Hell, most westerners have problems evacuating the mud turtle while sitting down, much less while squatting and maintaining their balance. That's having to concentrate on three things at one time and in this day and age where most people have the attention span of a gnat, that's asking a lot. So, at this point the novice squat toilet user who has just pinched a loaf, still squatting and not falling in the bowl, now has to balance a water bowl while pouring water down his crack while flicking dingleberries with his left had. Now that's four things he has to do at one time. Squat, balance, pour and flick all at the same time. Surely here is where the poor farang looses it, slips, falls in the bowl, then posts a thread on TV asking just how to use a squat toilet. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeyserSoze01 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 If you have a hitch on your vehicle, here's an attachment to put you right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slip Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 honestly, how difficult can it be? My five year old has mastered it. why cant you? Because it a totally foreign concept to most westerners. How many westerners can squat like asians do every day? Not many. Then while squatting and maintaining your balance, you have to squeeze out a mud turtle. Hell, most westerners have problems evacuating the mud turtle while sitting down, much less while squatting and maintaining their balance. That's having to concentrate on three things at one time and in this day and age where most people have the attention span of a gnat, that's asking a lot. So, at this point the novice squat toilet user who has just pinched a loaf, still squatting and not falling in the bowl, now has to balance a water bowl while pouring water down his crack while flicking dingleberries with his left had. Now that's four things he has to do at one time. Squat, balance, pour and flick all at the same time. Surely here is where the poor farang looses it, slips, falls in the bowl, then posts a thread on TV asking just how to use a squat toilet. Add to the above 'doing it all on a moving train' and you have a sure recipe for disaster (as can be witnessed from time to time). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MiG16 Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Closed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsiam Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 If there is no toilet paper...how do you dry your lower back ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Disander Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 Great thread. I haven't laughed this hard for some time now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevjohn Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 (edited) If there is no toilet paper...how do you dry your lower back ?? From my calculations, the distance from your neck to your lower back would be shorter than the length of your trouser leg.... Edited May 20, 2012 by kevjohn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samsiam Posted May 20, 2012 Share Posted May 20, 2012 I had to use a Tie once...was not mine, I dun own one....found it hanging on the back of the door....used it in a back and forth sawing motion.....think it made it worse than better.....the tie itself certainly was worse for wear as i hung it back on the door in case the owner returned. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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